"Listen, you break up your stupid slumber party now before I call the cops."
He's trying, really trying, yet Harper only scoffs and places her hands on her hips. That's right; she is Alex's friend. Threats are probably not the best way to deal with her. Yet Max's anger grows at the older girl's indifference towards his best intimidating stare. Stupid little girl face.
"Cops aren't going to break up a slumber party," she retorts.
"Oh, they will if rattlesnakes start crawling out of peoples' underwear." Okay, he doesn't really want the cops to come. He just wants this stupid night to end. Lifting his shirt slightly, Max points at the white stick he'd placed in the pocket of his pajama bottoms earlier. Under his breath he adds, "Wand!"
Now Harper is annoyed. Standing so she was right over Max – crap, she is so much taller now that he is stuck this way- her voice rises. "Don't you ruin my slumber party! I will crush you!"
The other girls in the room had been oblivious to their conversation to this point, yet the sound of Harper's nearly maniacal raise in voice makes them turn their heads. Suddenly all have frightened looks on their faces. "I wanna go home!" one, a girl with blond pigtails, cries near tears.
Good!
Yet Harper isn't done yet. Cutting the girls off at the door before any can do anything more, she cheerfully calls how everything is fine. Her face then forms into the typical Harper smile as she announces it's time for a dance party.
The other girls still don't seem overly convinced, yet Harper isn't giving up. She reaches over and turns on the radio. Soon, thanks in large part to Harper's almost mean insistence, all the girls are moving to the music.
All except one. Max sinks into the couch and throws a pillow over his face in disgust. No, not disgust; it is more than that.
"Okay girls," Harper happily announces once the song finishes. The dancing seems to have worked at calming the situation. "Makeover time!"
Max feels his face pale from beneath the pillow. No, no, no… Thankfully the others are distracted as Harper pulls out her makeup… carrier-thingy, so he is able to sneak outside without any notice.
He resists the urge to slam the door, if only so they won't hear.
Why had his parents agreed to this? Sure Harper had invited everyone without asking first, but they still could have said no, or at least done something to stop it. Max sinks into one of the deck chairs, laying back and closing his eyes.
It was a Friday night. Normally he would be with his friends, having burping contests, or watching lame old kung fu movies, or even just playing video games. But no; Max hasn't done any of those things in weeks. He hasn't seen his friends or even been able to talk to them except via text messages. Even then they have been on-the-fly excuses for why he can't talk.
It's all he can do right now since no one seems to know when this stupid spell his siblings cast will wear off on him. At least, it's all Max can do with the friends who still want to talk to him. Some are angry at him for seemingly disappearing suddenly to visit relatives across the country. He hates having to lie, but it's how it has to be.
Still he's tried. Max bites his lip recalling his attempt from that morning. He still feels slight hurt from his friends laughing right at his - well, Maxine's - face. Josh even sent him - Max him, the one 'stuck in North Dakota'- a text right after.
"Lame-o freak alert..."
Max wishes he had gotten the message before lunch period. Before they asked Maxine to hang out with them. He'd been an idiot – again – and actually taken them seriously, ending up alone.
"Just dealt with the weirdo. Kid actually fell for it. Pretty hilarious. Wish you could have seen it."
That message, complete with picture of himself in the school yard, dejected face and everything, Max got. Any other time he would have laughed. He didn't blame his friends. He'd do the same if some stupid little girl walked up to him and tried to be friends.
Maybe he should be nicer to little kids.
Still, it isn't fair.
His body begins to rebel on him as tears form in his eyes. Max angrily rubs his face to get rid of them. Stupid little girl body! Alex and Justin are out somewhere, with friends or whoever. And here he is, stuck in a stupid slumber party he'd never wanted to begin with.
Max heaves a sigh before looking back at the sky. It's going to be a long night.
"Max?" He opens his eyes to find not Harper but his mom standing at the doorway.
"I thought you and Dad were out for the night."
"The restaurant wouldn't take his 'buy one, get one free' coupon, so we ended up at that hot dog cart of seventh." He looks away again yet can hear her close the door and walk to the other chair. She lets out a small groan as she sits in the second chair. "What are you doing out here by yourself?"
Max only grunts in return before closing his eyes.
"Come on. Harper set up a really nice party for you. You should go back-"
"No way!" His eyes snap open again.
"She's only trying to help the best she can." His mom states slowly. "Helping you fit in, make friends, like we talked about before, remember?"
Max sighs."I already have friends."
"Yes but, honey, we don't know how long-"
"I already have friends!" This time his voice lets out a squeak, ruining the determination he is trying to convey. It's the same argument they've had before, more than once in fact. The last time had been just that morning as they had made their way to enrolling 'Maxine' in school.
"Max, be reason-"
"I'm not going back in there."
"Young man, now-"
He didn't hear the rest. Max's wand is out and in a quick second, he's flashed himself off the terrace. Unable to think of somewhere else to go, he ended up at the lair. A smile breaks across his face as Max sees he isn't alone. Justin is at the bookshelf, looking over the various volumes of wizard texts in their collection. Yes! The sight alone erases his dark mood. Finally someone doing something!
"Justin, hey! Any luck?" Max goes to the bookshelf, eager to help.
Justin looks up, confusion clearly on his face. "What?"
"Any luck?"
"With what?"
Max's face falls, if only a little. "Oh, um… I just meant… what are you doing here?"
"Looking for something. For Rosie."
"Oh."
"Why? What did you think I was doing?"
"I… um… Nothing." His brother looks at him. Max feels his face beginning to burn. Still he doesn't want to admit what he had really been thinking in that quick moment.
Justin just stares. Max can see his mind working, realization slowly coming to his older brother's face. "Max, look…"
Suddenly that dark mood returns. He doesn't want pity, especially not now. Pity is all he has gotten these last weeks. "Look Justin, it's fine… Sorry I brought it up again."
Justin looks about to say something, until a beeping noise interrupts any further conversation. It's the call app on Justin's wand. He's out the door before Max can utter another word. "Okay, well we'll talk later!"
Max watches him go before sinking into the nearest couch. The tears threaten to return as he feels his frustration building. He hates that. As a boy he has no problem keeping it all under control, but right now it all comes out too easy. Quickly he looks around the room, trying to divert the stupid floodworks. His eyes find the bookshelf again.
Fine! If no one is going to help him, then Max will just do it on his own. Except he really has no clue where to begin. So he wildly begins pulling books off the shelf. Soon all of them are on the floor. Max stares at them, then makes his way back to the couch.
Grabbing the nearest item from the table, Max chucks it as hard as possible towards the wall. The... whatever-it-was shatters upon making contact, but he doesn't care. He repeats the action, each throw becoming quicker. It doesn't matter what he breaks or ruins; he's just angry.
Alex and Justin should be here helping him. They'd promised! Wham! Another item smacks into the wall.
They said they would help him! Bam! Something shatters.
But no, they're off with their own friends, having their own fun, not worried about Max… They never worry about Max, just each other… If it was one of them, they'd be-
"Max, stop it! Stop! Right now!" His father's voice distracts him mid-throw, causing Max to topple to the ground. Jerry has hold of him before he can get up again, his hands taking away Max's would-be missile. "What are you doing? What-?"
Max stares down the carnage of his tirade. There are no words. He only stares at his dad.
"Fine." After helping Max to his feet, his dad takes hold of his shoulders and begins leading him towards the door. "Come on. We're going upstairs-"
"No way am I going back in there!" Yes he's acting stupid, and knows it too. Doesn't matter.
"Max-"
"You can't make me!"
"What is your problem?"
Something snaps. Max feels it all come; the anger, the confusion, the full-on collision of emotions he has for the last few weeks been keeping inside. "You really have to ask? 15-year-old boy stuck in a little girl body! Then dressing me in Alex's old dress- dolling me up and entering me into a beauty pageant- making me go to the fourth grade again- and now I have to go along with this slumber party idea! You do realize I'm fifteen, right? I'm a sophomore? And I'm a boy! I'm your son, not your daughter!"
His dad releases his shoulders.
"They promised they were going to help me. They promised they'd find a way to fix this. It's been over a month, and they haven't even tried-"
"Max, that's not-"
"Don't make excuses for them!" Tears come again to his eyes yet again. This time Max decides to let them come. "Instead of making them keep their promise, you're letting them do whatever they want! They won't even tell Professor Crumbs about it. They don't want to get in trouble, they don't care about me." It's coming out faster than his head can fully comprehend what he is saying. "I just… I want my friends back. MY friends. I don't want to lie to them anymore. I want my life back. I want… I want… to be me. Max. Why can't I be me?"
There it is. He feels his anger subside as the final words escape his mouth. Max flinches as his dad reaches out to him once more. A quick glance and he looks away, to the ground, unable to look his dad in the eye. Guilt washes over him as he sees the remnants of his tirade earlier.
"I'm-" The words catch in his throat, unable to form. Max lets out a shaky breath. "I tried, Dad. I really did…" It was the truth. He had tried, because he knew that's what had been needed. He needed to be Maxine, a little girl, because otherwise others would have known something was up. And if they figured out who he really was, discovered magic actually existed…
His dad doesn't say anything. Max swallows.
" I tried…" he says again weakly.
"I know." The elder Russo lets out a deep sigh, then stares upwards, as if searching the ceiling for something. Silence follows a long time, until, "Max… Max…"
He braces himself.
"Max…" his dad repeats. A new look crosses his dad's face, one he hasn't seen before. Almost like he's somehow seeing Max for the first time. "I'm sorry. I got…" There's a pause. "I just got so excited at having a little girl in the house again. I missed having a daddy's little girl with Alex so much that I got selfish. I didn't think of what that was doing to you, or how it would make you feel."
"Still, I should-"
"No." The sternest in his dad's tone is matched by his facial expression. "It was a lot to ask of you. And that wasn't fair of me to ask. I meant what I said that day this happened. Remember that?"
Yes, he remembers. It feels like forever ago yet Max remembers that stupid snotty wizard club and his various attempts to get in with them. How he'd have done just about anything to do it, too, in order to make his family proud. To be the person they would want him to be. His guilt at being unable to do it, and his dad's face then. The reassurance of being told it was okay, that he could just be himself and that would make his dad proud.
But then he had become Maxine.
"I want you to be who you are, not someone else. And I'll love you no matter who that is. Still, first thing tomorrow we'll go talk to Professor Crumbs, see if there's anything he can think to do."
"Won't Alex and Justin get into trouble?"
"They're big kids. They can handle it." His dad's gaze falls towards the mess surrounding them. Max feels his face burn.
"I'll clean it up. Promise."
His dad shrugs. "Tomorrow. In the meantime, I could go for a pizza. What do ya say?"
"Didn't you just eat?"
"Am I ever not hungry?"
Good point. "Wait. What about Harper?"
"Let her have her party." His dad moves towards a shelf in the corner. Reaching up towards the top, he retrieves a VHS tape. "In the meantime, there's this film from when I was about your age. Gymkata."
"Gym-kata?"
"Gymnastics and karate."
Max raises an eyebrow. "Okay… any good?"
"Oh, terrible. Gymnast gets recruited by the government to save the world. Literally there is a scene where he ends up in a town square. He finds this stone in the shape of one of those pommel-things. The bad guys just keep running at him as he swings around on it."
A laugh escapes Max's throat. "Sounds like my kinda party. You're on."
It is a terrible movie, just like his dad says. Yet it doesn't stop them from watching it again. For the rest of the night he and his dad stay in the lair eating pizza, playing X-box, and having burping contests.
And for one evening, Max felt like himself again.
Author's Note: Yes, Gymkata is a real film, made in 1985. Yes, it is as bad - yet as entertainingly so - as it sounds.
