A/N: I blame my husband for this one. He brings out my inner crazy person. I love you, Honey!
Disclaimer: Nothingness. It's what I own. Well, except for the things listed at the end. Those are mine.
Reno stumbled down the hall from his bedroom to his living room, bouncing against the walls and groaning as his head continued to scream at him for waking up so damn early. It was his weekend with Axys, so drinking had not been on the menu last night. However, he still felt like five-day old shit. Nothing a good breakfast couldn't take care of, though.
Grabbing a couple bowls, spoons, the milk from the fridge, chocolate syrup and a box of Cocoa Meteors (destruction of the Planet...now a part of this complete breakfast!), he plopped down on the couch and reached for the remote, turning on the TV to watch Saturday morning cartoons.
The red-head poured the cereal into one of the bowls, covered it in chocolate syrup and splashed a bit of milk into the bowl before reaching for a spoon and taking a huge bite. He chuckled lightly as a karate fighting chocobo kicked the ass of a malboro while shouting random surfer jargon from Costa del Sol. Yeah, 'The Prepubescent Mako-Injected Karate Chocobos' were one of his all time favs.
Scratching his ass through his boxers, he continued chewing and watching cartoons, splashing a bit of milk on his bare chest. Hell, it was Saturday morning. If he wanted to walk around in nothing but his boxers all damn day long, he would.
The sound of a door opening down the hall caused the Turk to lean back and look over the couch. A messy red-head stumbled down the hall, bouncing against the walls much in the way her old man had earlier.
"Morning, Baby," Reno called with a grin. Axys looked up at him through tangled, messy, red locks, her aquamarine eyes glaring at him. Reno chuckled. "Or not."
"'m hungry," she said, climbing over the back of the couch and landing with a bounce next to her father, her head resting on his lap.
Reno patted her bare leg. His daughter had adopted his habit of sleeping in nothing but her underwear. Panties with flaming moogles running across them and a matching tanktop was all Axys had on. And, like him, he doubted she would bother putting anything else on for the rest of the day.
"Cereal and milk are on the table," he told her, taking another bite of his breakfast.
Axys pushed her rats nest out of her eyes and lunged for the food. She grabbed the chocolate syrup and tilted her head back, pouring a mouth full before swallowing it. She shook some cereal out into the bowl and dumped more chocolate syrup on the Cocoa Meteors before adding a bit of milk.
"If Mom asks what you ate this weekend, you say...?" Reno prompted.
"'Wholesome meals and healthy snacks, with plenty of fruits and veggies'," Axys recited, examining the cereal box. "Ah, no worries, Pop. Whole grain cereal. You're good."
"Sweet," Reno said, getting himself some more of the healthy breakfast. Axys pulled her legs up and began to eat her breakfast, her hair getting into her milk as she leaned forward. Reno grinned to himself as she put her wet hair in her mouth and sucked the milk out before continuing eating.
"Dad! Turn it up! I love this cartoon!"
Reno grabbed the remote and turned up the volume just as "The Adventures of Ramen and Bakon" came on. "Cool!" he yelled with excitement. "I love these shorts!"
"Shut up, it's starting!"
A goofy looking pasty pale guy appeared on screen, using a pair of chopsticks to try to catch a blade of grass. He looked up just as a tall, thin, tanned guy appeared. The goofy guy grinned with obvious excitement.
"Hey! It's Bakon!"
The tanned guy rolled his eyes. "Ramen, what are you doing?"
"I am mastering the art of the grass," Ramen explained, still gripping his chopsticks. "If I can capture this blade of grass using only my chopsticks, I will achieve perfect Zen."
Bakon bent down and plucked the blade of grass with his finger tips. "Like that?" he asked.
Ramen stared at him in awe. "You are The Grass Master!"
Reno snorted at that, thinking it sounded alarming like...
"Heh heh. Ass Master," Axys snickered.
Reno couldn't be shocked. This was his kid, after all.
"Ramen, don't be so stupid."
"I'm not stupid!" Ramen protested, standing up. "You don't have to be so crisp, Bakon."
Bakon glared. "Stop with the bacon jokes," he ordered. "My name's not 'Bacon'; it's 'Bakon'."
"What's the difference?"
"B-A-K-O-N, not B-A-C-O-N," he spelled out.
"Sounds the same," Ramen grinned.
"Oh, like you know anything, Noodle Boy."
Axys giggled, chocolatey milk tricking down her chin, knowing what was coming next.
Ramen fisted his hands at his sides and threw his head back, yelling at the top of his lungs, "I...AM NOT...A NOODLE!"
Reno and Axys both burst into hysterical laughter as the two and a half-minute cartoon came to an end. Reno wiped the milk from his nose, still laughing like a maniac. Axys looked over at him and grinned.
"So, any plans this weekend, Daddy?"
Reno shook his head and tossed an arm around his daughter. "Nah, not unless we decide to do something," he told her kissing the top of her head. He smiled down at her. "I'm happy just sitting here, chillin' with my favorite girl."
Axys beamed. "You're such a dork...Noodle Boy."
Reno glared at her before throwing his head back and yelling, "I...AM NOT...A NOODLE!"
Axys rolled off the couch laughing, clutching her stomach as she did. Reno grinned down at her. She was messy, she was loud, she liked lighting things on fire and she had a demented brain.
But damn, he loved that kid.
A/N: 'The Adventures of Ramen and Bakon', 'Prepubescent Mako-Injected Karate Chocobos' and 'Cocoa Meteors' are trademarks of AmazonTurk. You may use if you ask. XD
