"Lets come back here one day." Her voice was as soft and mild like it had been that day. He couldn't see her, only the flower field that was laid out before them.

He wished he could look at her. He wished he could see the glow in her eyes and the smile on her lips.

Instead, he told her. "We'll be swarmed with titans if we keep going back here."

"No, I mean…" She paused. He dreaded what she was about to say. Knowing her too well, he knew she meant…

"When we've won. When we've killed all the titans. Lets go back here."

"If we survive that long, this place would make a beautiful home…"

But you didn't…

Golden rings stared up in the sky, shining as if life still breathes with it—

Fuck. Dont—

Her voice had been lighter, still like the young girl he met long ago. He didn't know back then, that it was the last he'll see of that young girl she used to be. She had been clutching the filthy jacket in her arms. The symbol of the Recon Corps was stained with red. And yet she held it to her chest, as if it would somehow bring back the one she lost.

"You were with him, when it happened?"

I was. It was my fault…

"You were with her, when it happened?"

I—

He was back in that small house. Humble, quiet, a little untidy, but what would one expect for an old man living alone? But now, the news he brought with him made that man truly alone.

"She was a fine woman, and a good soldier." was all the sympathy he could muster up. He wasn't good at this, never had been. He makes stupid promises to dying soldiers in nearly every expedition he made. Empty promises were all he could give to someone who gave their life for the rest.

He wished he could have made her one last stupid promise, too.

"Thank you, for looking after her, Corporal." The old man had said. "She looked up to you, the way she did to him before…"

His eyes suddenly glanced at the altar on the far corner of the house. She had told him before about her mother's hand-woven necklace that hung with the flowers. She was a child when her mother died, so the necklace that was made for her didn't fit her anymore. Instead, she had hid under her sleeves like a loose bracelet.

I should have taken that too… If only I knew…

"This proves they were alive. To me, at least."

Those words he forced himself to say to the one at fault. His hand let go of the one memento he had wanted for himself. The one thing that could remind him that she had been real. That she had stood by him, fought battles with him, loved him…

Her father deserved that better than either of us.

Next to the necklace was the familiar Recon Corps jacket. Neatly folded but still stained with dried blood. "That's right…" The old man cut his thoughts, looking at the same direction he had been. "You were in his squad that day, four years ago. You even accompanied Petra when she… When she came back."

Petra…

Leaves rained on them, dancing as if feathers from his wings as he hung above her broken figure. She was still beautiful. The gentle face of a soldier he admired. But she wasn't there anymore. She wasn't there anymore…

"Petra." His lips formed her name when he woke up. His fingers gripped the sheets tight as the images flowed back to him.

It's been a week since he lost his squad. A week since he lost his final farewell.

Until now, he dreams of her; her wishes, her voice, the first time he failed her, and the last…

Until now, he refuses to believe it. But what's the point of denying the reality? It's pointless.

He lost her already.


A/N

Highly inspired by the lyrics of "Call Your Name" from the anime's soundtrack. Also my first fanfic for this series, and was first posted in my RP blog on Tumblr.