Seasons of Lily


Chapter One: History Repeating


I love him. I love him. I love him. These are the words I've been trying to make sense of for the past year that Chase and I have been together. I've said them before. But why doesn't it feel right? They should. Whenever he's gone I feel empty. I've grown so dependent on him. But that's not right. I'm Lily Evans, I'm not dependent on anyone. Since when is a boy the measure of my happiness?

Ever since I started dating Chase Wayward in sixth year, it's like all of the things that made up who I am don't matter any more. All that matters to me is him. I get these butterflies whenever I think of him. But not the wonderful kind that make you feel silly and light. The kind where you are about to perform on stage and feel sick to your stomach. Oh god, what has this boy done to me?!

"LILY!" Brooke yelled, finally snapping me out of my thoughts. "Stuck in Chase land again? Jesus, you spent like all summer together, wasn't that enough?" Emma joked. I gave my best friends an unconvincing smile and they looked at me in concern. "What's up?" Brooke asked. I shifted uncomfortably and voiced aloud my thoughts.

"I dunno Lily, can I ask you a question?" I looked inquiringly at Emma. "Well... it's just- Does Chase really make you happy?" she blurted out.

I always knew my friends didn't approve of my relationship with Chase. They think he's too controlling and is taking advantage of my vulnerable nature. We used to constantly argue over whether he is "right for me" but eventually they gave up seeing as he wasn't just a fling of mine. For the first time in my life, I thought about it. Does he make me happy?

I've grown so dependent on him. Whenever I'm not with him, a part of me is missing. He is my other half. I am his. It's as simple as that... Isn't it? Isn't that how you're supposed to feel when you're in love?

I didn't get a chance to answer that question because just then, none other than Chase Wayward slammed open our compartment door, sat down next to me and pulled me into a sloppy kiss as Emma and Brooke rolled their eyes and started talking to each other about a new band they recently discovered called the Weird Sisters.

"Hey babe!" he said with unnecessary volume. "I have a name, Chase" I said with a roll of my eyes. He released me. "Really? The first thing you say to me is the beginning of an argument?" he replied, shutting me down. Because that's just what happens when you challenge Chase Wayward. You get shut down.

"Oh, no. Sorry. I just..." But he cut me off by pulling me into another sloppy kiss. His hands slowly made their way up my back as he scuffed the bare skin that my shirt clung to. "Oiy! Get a room!" Brooke belted. Chase pulled away, smirking, said "See you at the feast, Lily" and with a wink, he left the compartment.

"Ew" was all Emma could say.


The rest of the train ride consisted of playing Exploding Snap and catching up on all the latest gossip.

"I cannot believe it. Six summer flings? I think that's an all time record Ms. Pierce!" Lily exclaimed. "Fraughcannozifey," Brooke mumbled while biting off the head of a chocolate frog. "Huh?" Lily and Emma replied together. Brooke gulped down the mass of chocolate in her mouth and went on. "What can I say? Guys just can't get enough of me, especially in bikini weather." Lily gave another one of her famous eye rolls and Emma chuckled.

"So, any hot guys I should know about?" Brooke questioned. Emma blushed and Lily put down her magazine to give Emma an is-there-something-you-haven't-told-us look. "His name was Damien, and I dunno. I spent most of my summer in the library since you were off with Chase and Brooke was in California. I started to notice that he spent a lot of his summer there too. One day he sat next to me, and, well... he was sweet. We got to know each other, and become... what would you call it... library buddies?"

Brooke burst out a laugh but pretended to be choking on her cauldron cake. Lily scolded her and turned to Emma. "That's sweet. Did anything- erm... come of it? I mean did you ask him out?" Emma looked down. "No... I was going to! But then I chickened out... And, well... I'll probably never see him again." "Why not?" Brooke chimed back in. "I think you need some advice from this Sex God right here" she boasted, pointing two thumbs at herself. "Go to the library again. Find him, bring him to your house, cup a feel and be on with it!" "Ugh, you're starting to sound like Sirius Black" Emma replied, disgusted. Brooke's eyes widened at the name of the one Marauder she absolutely despised. Lily laughed at Brooke's reaction.

"Speak of the devils..." Emma muttered more to herself than anyone, looking into the hallway outside their compartment. Lily and Brooke followed her gaze and saw two dark-haired Marauders wandering past their compartment. Once they caught sight of the three girls glancing at them, Sirius winked and James' face lit up and he flashed a genuine smile in Lily's direction. They continued down the narrow passage between compartments and the girls watched them until they disappeared behind one of the drawn curtains in a compartment not too far from theirs.

Lily sighed. James had stopped hitting on Lily when she had started dating Chase in sixth year. Since then, all he offered her were polite gestures when greeted in the hallways. She had once thought that this was the best thing that had happened since dating Chase. No more remarks on her eyes which apparently reminded him of the green in a fire once it gets hot enough and you can start to pick out the different colours in the heart of the flames, or her hair like a fiery waterfall.

But eventually she started to miss him. Of course she would never admit it, but she couldn't help but wondering if Chase had done something to scare him off. Chase. It all came back to him. Lily didn't want her last year at Hogwarts to be like sixth year. She hated sixth year. She lost all her friends apart from Brooke and Emma, and even they seemed to become more distant.

No, this year will be different. I won't let history repeat itself. And with that she let the gentle rocking of the train and the voices of her two closest friends lull her to sleep as she closed her eyes.


A/N: Hope you liked the first chapter! I'm just getting familiar with managing stories etc. so bear with me on the editing of it. I have a lot of ideas for this one and hopefully I'll update within the week [I'm going to my cottage tomorrow and sadly there's no wifi but I'll drive into town if I have to in order to add the next chapter! :) ]

xoxo

- Marauder-Evans

Oh and all feedback is welcome! Review and I'll love you forever!

*Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Harry Potter. Those rights are reserved for JK. All praise her.*