Sir's sexual activity has decreased 2.3% this month in comparison to his average. Within acceptable parameters.
Factoring in Ms. Potts' absence… no discernible impact. Main source of sexual gratification inaccessible, compensation and needs met by random encounters. Most notably the encounter with one of SHIELD's undercover agents.
Sir had categorized her kink as 'fucking in the workplace' (agoraphilia).
It had only taken three minutes for him to convince her that having sex in a conference room was a good idea.
After their tryst SHIELD had her reassigned to a different mission.
Their second attempt of infiltration was by an older male.
The agent was as Sir put it 'ugly as sin' (below average looking).
Regardless he found out the agent's kink and used it against him. It was one of his more elegant designs. He had he agent run into one of his employees with a complimentary kink, instructing her to let it slip. Over the next three weeks they dated and he had to be reassigned due to a 'fuck up' (conflict on interest).
No new spies have been detected.
Food intake has decreased. Still in parameters.
Encounter with a 'leech' (reporter). Private interview left unfinished when Sir started increased his usage of obscene language. 'Dirty talk' (narratophilia) led to three hours of sex. All recording equipment 'malfunctioned' (digitally displaced software). Reporter subsequently scolded by her editor, but was otherwise no worse for wear.
Disturbance in SHIELD facility. Interest level low. Will report if situation changes.
Ms. Potts cancels a meeting in favor of meeting Sir in the tower for some 'food play' (sitophilia). Both sated and full.
Food consumption higher than his usual, but lower than the average age and weight of a male Sir's size.
Ordering more whipped cream.
Sir and Ms. Potts exchange a tender kiss before she leaves.
Ms. Potts:
Relationship Categorized:
Healthy
Benefits:
Stability
Deep understanding of Sir
Predictable reactions
Disease free
Acceptance of deviances
Encourages healthy habits
Relieves workload pertaining to SI
Drawbacks:
Very little difference from her position as personal assistant
Emotional needs not met fully
Intellectual stimulation rarely achieved
Intensity of emotional attachment questionable
Conclusion:
Best fit presently
Called into help by previously scorning SHIELD agency.
Humor level escalating.
Downloading thermonuclear astrophysics information. Removing redundancy. Deleting superfluous information.
Knowledge attainment estimation 12 hours.
Correction 10 hours.
-Speed reading has improved
Correction 11 hours.
-Extra hour due to received 'blowjob' (fellatio)
Sir's confidence in newly acquired knowledge 89%
Disagrees: 85%
Suggestion of adding in a 'double check' (digital information review and correction) to 'lil worm' (flash drive hacking implement).
Sir approves.
Update private server category: 'Super Secret Boy Band' (Avengers Initiative):
Natasha Romanoff:
AKA: Black Widow, Natalia Ailanova Romanova, Natasha, Natalie Rushman, Nadine Roman, Black Pearl
Status: Neutral, SHIELD agent,
Likelihood of sexual interaction:
-Sir's assessment: 13%
-Disagree: 23%
Threat level:
-Sir's assessment: 28%
-Agree
Contingency plan for threat level above 86% or immanent bodily harm to Sir:
Nesting Doll Protocol:
Three tiered response
-Threaten revelation of connection with Red Room Academy associate
-Disclose knowledge of pertaining to Nathan Romanova. Relation: Son
-Soften blow by setting up college fund for Nathan Romanova
Added entry: Possible emotional attachment to Clint Barton
Revising Nesting Doll Protocol
Revision
Four tiered response
-Threaten revelation of connection with Red Room Academy associate
-Emotional implications of revelations of previous tier pertaining to Clint Barton
-Disclose knowledge of pertaining to Nathan Romanova. Relation: Son
-Soften blow by setting up college fund for Nathan Romanova
Favorite food: sweet and sour pork
Coffee preference: Columbian roast, three sugars, no dairy
Clint Barton:
AKA: HawkEye, Clinton Francis Barton, Marksman, Coliath, Robin Hood, Purple Man
Status: Unknown, former SHIELD agent, unclear association with one Loki Odinson. Further data required
Likelihood of sexual interaction
-Sir's assessment: 6%
-Agree
New data added.
Status: Neutral, SHIELD agent
Likelihood of sexual interaction
-Sir's assessment: 36%
-Agree
New data added.
Likelihood of sexual interaction:
-New factor: alcohol
-Sir's assessment: 84%
-Disagree: 64%
Relationship with Natasha Romanoff: Unknown on Clint Barton's part. Possibly unrequited on Natasha Romanoff's part.
Compiling contingency plan for threat level above 86% or immanent bodily harm to Sir:
Compiling…
Compiling…
New data added.
Egg-Drop Soup Protocol:
Three tiered response
-Falsify information pertaining to Bernard 'Barney' Barton's death. Implication: SHIELD at fault. Revise specifics later. Create corresponding data.
-Alienate from Natasha Romanoff. Specifics unknown. Further data required.
-Turn SHIELD against him. Specifics unknown. Further data required.
Consult with Sir when current crisis has come to its end.
Favorite food: Unknown
Coffee preference: Unknown
Bruce Banner:
AKA: Robert Bruce Banner, Hulk, David Blaine, Bruce Roberts
Status: Friendly, SHIELD consultant
Likelihood of sexual interaction:
-Sir's assessment: 58%
-Disagree: 60%
Threat level:
-Sir's assessment: 10%
-Disagree: 23%
Compiling contingency plan for threat level above 86% or immanent bodily harm to Sir:
Compiling…
Compiling…
New data added.
Two plans created.
Dr. Jekyll Ain't Jesting Protocol:
Two tiered response
-Create uncertainty in any variable of situations. Suggestions: imply having cure, imply SHIELD has cure, convince that General Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross is working with SHIELD, convince that General Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross is imminently arriving to current area with troops.
-Either offer help or remove from situation
Mr. Hyde or My Hide Protocol:
Two tiered response
-Preemptive: Create positive rapport with both halves
-Create suit capable of withstanding and fighting the stronger half
Consult with Sir when current crisis has come to its end pertaining to new suit creation.
Favorite food: Unknown, likely Indian food, specific dish unknown.
Coffee Preference: strong Indian brew with condensed milk
New data added.
-Sir seems to regard Bruce Banner as being in a similar intellectual sphere. Offered blueberries, a step to friendship.
-Drawbacks: Bruce Banner's constant travel, other half's appearance ending violently
-Possible benefits: stability, encourages healthy habits, expands Sir's knowledge to different realms of science, stimulating to both mind and possibly body
Drawing up plans for cohabitation. Consult with Sir and Ms. Potts when current crisis has come to its end.
Steve Rogers:
AKA: Captain America, Steven Rogers, The Captain
Status: Unknown, SHIELD agent
Likelihood of sexual interaction:
-Sir's assessment: 8%
-Disagree: 6%
Threat level:
-Sir's assessment: Unknown
-Disagree: 17%
Compiling contingency plan for threat level above 86% or immanent bodily harm to Sir:
Compiling…
Compiling…
New data added.
Starts and Strangles Protocol:
Three tiered response:
-Preemptive: Set in place a SI agent as Peggy Carter's nurse
-Threaten as Sir sees fit
-Soften blow by upgrading Peggy Carter's accommodations
Plan's likelihood of success below allowed parameters.
Consult with Sir when current crisis has come to its end.
Possibly use mutual relationship with Howard Anthony Stark as form of manipulation.
Favorite food: Pizza
Coffee Preference: Dislikes coffee
New data added.
-Morally steadfast
-Willing to break established rules when his morals are threatened.
Updating Sir's personal preference for sexual partners in order from greatest to least:
-Ms. Potts, Romanoff, Banner, Barton, Hulk (as the receiving partner), miscellaneous individuals
-Unlisted due to disinterest: Fury, Hill, Rogers
Update private server category: 'Never-Never Land' (Citizens of Asgard)
Thor Odinson:
AKA: God of Thunder, Thunderer,
Status: Unknown, Prince of Asgard, alien, unclear association with one Loki Odinson. Further data required
Likelihood of sexual interaction:
-Sir's assessment: 3%
-Disagree: 2%
Threat level:
-Sir's assessment: Uknown
-Agree
Relationship with Jane Foster: Romantic, mutual.
Compiling contingency plan for threat level above 86% or immanent bodily harm to Sir:
Compiling…
Compiling…
New data added.
Lady Love Protocol:
Four tiered response
-Preemptive: switch Jane Foster's payroll from SHIELD to Stark Industries. New housing and equipment. Tracking devices in place. Insert SI agent into her employment. Plant various bombs in her frequented areas and cellular phone.
-Disclose dead man's switch
-Threaten Jane Foster
-Unknown on how to soften blow. Further data required. Consult with Sir when current crisis has come to its end.
Favorite food: Poptarts, preferably strawberry flavored
Coffee Preference: Any
New data added.
-Analyze properties of hammer generated thunder with Sir once current crisis has come to its end.
-Possible addition to 'Super Secret Boy Band' (Avengers Initiative)
New data entry to private server:
Subcategory: 'Never-Never Land' (Citizens of Asgard)
Loki Odinson:
AKA: Loki, God of Mischief
Status: Threat level Alpha, Prince of Asgard, alien, unclear association with one Thor Odinson. Further data required
Threat level:
-Sir's assessment: Alpha importance
-Agree
Relationship with Thor Odinson complex, possibly a weakness. Adopted, possibly causing a complex.
Further data required.
New protocol unnecessary.
Sir's plan: attack.
Reluctantly agree.
Sir's personal categorization: My stuff.
Reluctantly agree.
Sir's eye dilation and heart rate imply high levels of attraction towards threat level Alpha Loki.
-Possibly a byproduct of Sir's love of 'new and shiny things' (neophilia) and Sir's love for 'foreign fare' (exophilia and zenophilia)
Updating Sir's personal preference for sexual partners in order from greatest to least:
-Ms. Potts, Loki, Romanoff, Banner, Barton, Hulk (as the receiving partner), miscellaneous individuals
-Unlisted due to disinterest: Fury, Hill, Roger, Thor
New data entry to private server:
Subcategory: 'Never-Never Land' (Citizens of Asgard)
Loki Odinson:
Complex sexual preference of:
-Being emotionally manipulated negatively (masochism)
-Verbally humiliation and degradation (masochism and narratophilia)
-'Breath play' (asphyxiophilia)
- Minor exhibitionism
-Minor life-threatening situations (minor autassassinophilia)
-Direct eye contact combined with being glared at (oculophilia and masochism)
-Being bitten (odaxelagnia)
-Being dominated
-Minor orgasm denial (erotic sexual denial)
-Underlying approval and acceptance fetish
-Mental restraints
-'Sobbing' (autodacryphilia)
Consult with Sir when current crisis has come to its end in order to confirm findings.
Sir's verbal assessment of Loki to said individual: "Face it, Bambi, you're a terrible, worthless person who hides behind magic tricks and big words. The only time you'll ever be happy is when you come crawling to me only for me to push you to the ground where you belong."
Reluctantly agree.
Reassessing threat level…
Threat level:
-Sir's assessment: neutralized.
-Reluctantly agree.
New data added.
Sir's verbal assessment of Loki to said individual: "I could easily break you out of this place… But that would take too much effort on my part for someone like you."
Reassessing threat level…
Threat level:
-Sir's assessment: neutralized.
-Agree.
Potential relationship analysis between one Sir and one Loki:
Relationship Categorized:
Unstable
Unhealthy
Benefits:
Disease free
Quick access
When under-thumb low risk to outsiders
Dependency on Sir that could translate into saving Sir's life
Can be taught household tasks
Can be used as a physical extension in order to encourage healthy habits
Possibly intellectually stimulating
Access to magic
Drawbacks:
Unstable mental state
Skewed view of relationships
Unpredictable
Possible toxic emotional dependency
Possible mental breakdown resulting in harm to Sir's person or Ms. Potts
Possible ploy
Conclusion:
Sir will allow Loki into his household
Private server update complete.
Rush order extra chocolate syrup for coming victory sex
Ordering new sheets for main bedroom
Ordering new window
Ordering replacement parts for damaged suit
Avengers assemble under 'orders' (request) from SHIELD.
Tardiness estimation 15 minutes
Correction 5 minutes
-Sir had to leave lab earlier than expected due to lack of coffee
Correction 1 hour.
-Extra hour due to received 'blowjob' (fellatio) from a SI associate in elevator then subsequent 'fucking' (intercourse).
Sir's confidence in reason for the meeting: 99%
Agree.
Sir is proven correct.
Loki has escaped from Asgard.
Updating private server.
Subcategory: 'Never-Never Land' (Citizens of Asgard)
Loki Odinson:
Status: Neutral, fugitive, unlisted member of Stark household, 'house whore' (live-in sexual partner)
Likelihood of sexual interaction:
-Sir's assessment: 100%
-Agree
Threat level:
-Sir's assessment: 5%
-Disagree: 7%
New orders from Sir:
-Refurnishing guest room C. Removing majority of items.
- Compiling Sir's preferences for clothing on male sex partners. Ordering various articles of clothing in Loki's size.
-Ordering Sir's favorite lube.
-Ordering live-in necessities: toothbrush, towels, etc.
-Ordering groceries.
New data added:
My Stuff Protocol:
-Lower settings for politeness pertaining to Loki
-Higher settings for derisiveness pertaining to Loki
-Block all access to penthouse floor unless express permission is given by Sir to individual
-Calibrate sensors for magical tenors
Sensors activated on penthouse floor.
Image materializing.
Recording for Sir to review later.
Alerting Sir…
Sir alerted.
Pulled into ploy. Acting as Sir's associate via cellular phone.
Orgasm denial then subsequent approval.
Once more pulled into ploy as Sir's associate via cellular phone.
Sir starts listing rules for Loki.
Updating private server.
Subcategory: 'Never-Never Land' (Citizens of Asgard)
Loki Odinson:
New data added.
Rules for Loki:
-No speaking to Ms. Potts
-No touching Ms. Potts
-Denied access to all floors excluding the penthouse floor
-No touching Sir without permission.
'A hard, dirty fuck' (intercourse where pleasure is amplified by pain).
Both parties sated.
Correction:
Sir is sated.
Loki is still uneasy.
Sir pulls Loki to his side for 'some cuddles' (holding close in a tender manner).
Loki relaxes.
Both parties sated.
Anomaly detected.
Panning in camera on Sir's expression.
Updating private server.
Subcategory: 'Never-Never Land' (Citizens of Asgard)
Loki Odinson:
New data added.
Relationship analysis between one Sir and one Loki:
Capable of invoking affection in Sir.
Conclusion:
Possible development of love.
Private server update complete.
