A/N: Soooo over on Tumblr, it was requested I write a Glarvel fic. I had an idea, but realised I kinda wanted to write that as a long multichaptered fic not just a small snippet of Glarvel and then I was stuck for an idea for ages... Supreme apologies guys! BUT... Finally this came along and it's probably not what anyone hoped for and may be kinda weird, but I sorta like it? So I wrote it. Somewhat inspired by a Sims3 pic I took of my Careers sims here: image/61304055530 and as I was listening to it, halfway through it also became somewhat inspired by Ross Coppermans Holding On and Letting Go, hence the title.
Hopefully it's not too weird or short or stupid or whatever and maybe someone will like my first ever Glarvel fic.
I do not own any of the characters contained within this story, I make no money from said story and of course I am NOT Suzanne Collins. Cato and Clove would have won if I did! I make no claims over this, except for the story itself which is definitely mine.
Warning: This story contains implied Glato, mentioned Clato and realized Glarvel.
Brushing her hair out of her face, Glimmer peeled herself off the sofa she'd crashed out on last night and yawned. Perhaps not the most glamorous of wake ups, but considering she wasn't alone in this state, she didn't think it mattered too much. Finding a mirror asap was definitely a priority though.
All around her, the unconscious bodies of her group of friends littered the living room like drunken statues in various states of repose. Tresh lounged on the opposite sofa, his large frame dwarfing the somewhat delicate looking object.
Finch rested nearby, perched on the arm of the sofa in weird position, almost as if ready to bolt at the slightest provocation. Knowing the wily red head, Glimmer reasoned that was probably exactly what would happen should anyone wake her.
Collapsed awkwardly in an armchair, Peeta held onto an equally uncomfortable, yet oddly content looking Katniss. Annie lay atop Finnick on the floor, who held her like a precious gem. Gale and Madge slumped lazily against each other, their heads touching. God only knew where Johanna was or who she was with, frankly Glimmer didn't care to know. And then…
Frowning, the blond turned in a circle trying to locate the one person who's location she actually cared about. She couldn't see him in the immediate vicinity or anywhere else in the room. The other blond was oddly absent, along with a few other people.
Knowing him, he'd gotten up early, even with the hangover he must have and gone out jogging or something. She started to sit down and wait when something caught her attention.
"Psst… Over here Glimmer."
She glanced up at the sound of a familiar voice. A tall, unusually serious looking male with slightly wavy brown hair and green eyes stood in the doorway of the living room. He sighed when he caught her attention and gave her a wary look.
"Not now Marvel. I'm looking for…"
"Cato. Yeah I know."
He stepped back, leaving the doorway empty and allowing her a clear view of the corridor behind him. What she saw there sobered her up immediately, vanishing all traces of the hung over haze she'd been operating under since waking up.
Eyes narrowed, she strode towards the blissfully unaware couple taking up half the corridors space. Her stomach twisted watching them together and she scowled, glancing down at them.
Cato sprawled drunkenly half on the floor, half against the wall with his legs spread wide and his head listing to the right. Curled up in his lap, draped over his chest and wrapped up comfortably in his strong arms was a petite, freckled brunette.
Clove, the bane of her existence since she'd arrived in town nearly three months ago.
She lifted her hand, reaching out to shake him awake and ask him what the hell he thought he was doing, but was stopped when another hand shot out and wrapped tightly around her wrist.
Marvel shook his head at her and tugged her away from the sleeping couple. "Don't. Leave them alone Glimmer." He stated the words softly, calmly and it only irritated her more.
She hissed in response and yanked her arm back. "He's supposed to be mine!"
"He's not a toy Glimmer!" Marvel snapped back, leaning down to bring his face to hers, fire and concern raging a war across his face. "Face it, you've lost. Hell you lost from the minute she turned up. He finally has what he wants and it's NOT you."
His words were delivered so matter of factly, so reasonably that it was like a slap to her face. Hell, he might as well have done that, it would have hurt less in that moment. Instead of stepping back and away from him and them, she stepped forward and glared right back at him, speaking without thought, only anger.
"That can be easily changed you know. He fell for my charms once, they all do and I can make it happen again."
He glanced back at the still resting couple, then turned back to her with a look of disgust and shook his head. He spoke sounding almost defeated, or maybe tired, it was hard to tell, but either way he wasn't happy at all.
"You can't win Glimmer. Look at him! Them! Did he ever look at you like he does her? Did he ever say or do something utterly ridiculous just to watch you laugh because he enjoyed it? Did he ever do anything with you but kissing and sex? You used each other for different reasons, but he found something to better himself for, maybe you should try and do the same."
With that, he stepped away and began to stalk off down the corridor and back to where ever he'd come from, leaving her open mouthed and shocked. Only one other person, well guy anyway, had dared to talk to her like that and she'd never expected it of the agreeable and mostly pathetic Marvel.
She stood there for a second, just trying to comprehend Marvel of all people condemning her, giving her dating advice, talking back to her and then sprang into action just as he moved to open the door before him.
"And what exactly makes you such an expert on this anyway?! Since when do you know anything about what it's like to want someone so bad you'd do anything to get their attention even when they apparently prefer someone else?!"
He fixed her with an almost sad look, a wry smile curling his lips up and shook his head. He huffed and finally spoke. "You really have no idea do you? And I used to think Cato was the selfish one for holding onto you the way he did when he didn't even want you."
He paused and she sucked in a sharp breath, moving her hand to strike him. But of course he caught it. He might not be a warrior like Cato, but he sure knew how to fight if he needed to.
"How dare you!" She snapped.
"I dare because you're oblivious! Nobody matters but you and I'm tired of it Glimmer! You're not the only one who has to watch the person they care about be with someone else you know. Try taking a look around next time, something might just surprise you."
His voice was fierce, angry, frustrated and if she had to hazard a guess, hurt. But she'd had no idea he was after someone else in the group. She was about to ask him what the hell he was talking about, when a groan from behind them had her spinning around.
Rising shakily from the ground, Cato grunted and ran a hand through his messy blond hair. Clove stood up with him and she watched while he snaked an arm around the smaller girls waist and pulled her close once more.
"Can't you two fight somewhere else? Some of us were sleeping very comfortably you know." The bear like male growled out, voice clogged with sleep.
"You just want me back on top of you." Clove teased him, playfully shoving at him before turning to smirk back at them. "Seriously, can't you two attempt to hook up quietly and like, away from the hungover people? We don't wanna see this."
Glimmer gasped, glaring back at a scowling Clove. Hooking up?! What the hell was the little twerp on? Clearly she was still drunk!
"We were fighting, not hooking up! Unlike some people around here… Can't you two leave the sane people alone and go be all barf inducingly cute elsewhere?"
Watching as Cato shot an indulgent look at the tiny dark haired girl that he'd certainly never given her, she folded her arms over chest and tapped her long tapered nails on her tanned skin. Was everybody here insane and/or sickeningly love struck?
Not that they were being all cutesy like most couples, but they were certainly making their attraction clear to all and sundry just through their snarky comments and smug smirks. It was enough to make anyone sick, drunk or not. At least as far as she was concerned anyway.
"God Glimmer and here I was actually beginning to think you had a brain. You really are blind to everything that doesn't involve you, aren't you?"
Clove raised an eyebrow at Marvel, shot him a look that Glimmer couldn't quite comprehend and then turned to walk away, dragging an unresisting Cato with her.
"And what's that supposed to mean?!"
The blond strode towards her, the urge to slap someone rising further and further the more the bitchy little brunette spoke, breathed and just generally existed.
"It's not me you should be talking to. Try asking Marvel. He knows exactly what I'm talking about, let him explain." She replied with a shrug.
"God I love you when you act like that." She heard Cato murmur as he draped his arm around Clove and led her away.
"Pfft, you love me all the time purely because I'm a bitch. That you get to sleep with me is just a bonus for you."
His laughter seemed to reverberate around them even after he was gone and Glimmer turned to a frustrated looking Marvel. He tugged at his hair and quickly moved to slam the door before she could question him further.
Cursing the stupidly cute heels she'd thrown on for the party last night, she raced towards him and pushed all her weight against the door to stop him from closing it on her. It worked, barely, but she managed it. Marvel sighed and dropped his head back to thunk against the wall behind him.
"Glimmer, can we not do this right now? I have the world's worst headache and…"
"No! What the hell is she on about Marvel? What the hell is going on?"
She reasoned it was the copious amounts of alcohol that had dulled her thought processes this morning and therefore her ability to make sense of all this. But in reality, she just literally didn't understand what everyone was talking about.
"Oh for fucks sake I… God, do I really have to spell it out to you?"
She pursed her lips and shot him a look that she hoped conveyed her deadly seriousness about finding out the answer to her question. It worked, he slumped down to the floor and let the door swing open to reveal a disused bedroom with a somewhat comfortable looking bed and not much else.
"Fine! Look, you think you're the only one who was to watch the one they want throw themselves at someone else and ignore the fact that you even exist when they're together? Well you're not. I have to watch and listen, time and time again as you try, fruitlessly I might add, to get Cato back when the truth is you lost him before Clove even came along. But you just can't see it." He paused, taking a deep breath and then rushed on in a burst of babbling Glimmer struggled to keep up with.
"I'm tired of seeing it though Glimmer and I'm done hiding the fact that I like you ok?! Even if you are horribly selfish most of the time, I know you're better than all that and it hurts me to fucking watch you chase after him when you have no chance!"
It took a second, but then his meaning hit her full on and left her staggering. How had she missed it?! How could she not have seen the longing in his eyes? The ache that was suddenly so clear to her now? God she really was blinkered when it came to Cato and her attraction to him wasn't she?
"Marvel I… How long? What the hell?! Why didn't you say anything and why…" She leaned heavily against the wall, still trying to make full sense of everything and glanced down at him. He wouldn't look at her though, he'd closed his eyes and turned his face towards the covered window.
"Because you wouldn't have cared! All you ever talk about, think about, is Cato, Cato, Cato! Well that and how much you hate Clove. You'd be surprised by the way, the two of you would be great friends if you just tried." He shrugged and continued on. "But what does it matter anyway?! You keep holding onto Cato and refuse to let go even though you lost the race a long time ago."
"What the hell Marvel?! Of course it matters! I didn't know and I thought we were friends!" Eyes narrowed on him, she dropped to a crouch and grabbed his shirt, tugging him around to meet her gaze. He did, with equally angry eyes and shoved her back as he stood up.
"We are. But I'm done waiting around for you to notice me Glimmer. I'm done blending into the background and hiding in Cato's shadow. When you decide you want to try and move on, come find me. Until then I'm walking away."
She let him go, for all of a split second before something registered. She'd held onto the belief that Cato would come back for so long that not thinking it seemed an impossible task. She'd never even considered Marvel as a potential boyfriend, though she was beginning to see he had a lot of the traits that had first attracted her to Cato.
But how was she supposed to give up on someone she was sure she was in love with. It certainly felt like it anyway. She honestly didn't know how to do that.
"Marvel wait!" She grasped his arm, halting his movement and he held his breath, apparently waiting for her to continue. "How do you do it? How do you give up on something you've wanted for so long, when it hurts so much it's all you can think about?"
He turned his face just enough to fix her with a bitter smile and sighed. She knew now, he understood exactly what she was asking. "With great difficulty. You can't just open your hands and expect it to suddenly go away, it won't. You have to push it forcefully away with everything you have and remind yourself it was never yours to hold onto in the first place."
"But it was mine. For a while he was mine." She stated petulantly for a second, uncertain when Marvel had become the philosopher of the group or if she was going mad all of a sudden.
He shook his head and leaned in close, so close that another inch and he'd be kissing her. "No Glimmer, he wasn't. What you two had was a parody of what you wanted. He was what you wanted, but what you had wasn't even close to the real thing. Think about it and like I said, when you're ready to at least try and move on, to try something that could be real, come find me ok?"
He moved back and she realised something. It wasn't something she could immediately let go of and things hadn't suddenly changed to become her and Marvel, together against the world or something, but she did think she'd like to try to stop feeling this way someday. She'd never know if she could let go if she didn't try right?
Cato had certainly made his choice, now she supposed she had one to make too. A hard one, but then that was no surprise. Nothing good ever came for free after all.
Quick as a flash, she thrust herself into his arms and leaned up. She kissed him, hard, before he could fight her off or get angry about it.
He took a second, but finally he gave in and put his arms around her, holding her close. His lips were warm and soft, surprisingly gentle yet hungry against hers. He smelled of cheap beer and sugar, but she slid her arms around his neck and lost herself into the kiss for a moment, ignoring anything that wasn't distinctly Marvel.
All too soon he pulled back, holding her at arms length and staring at her with a mixture of bliss and sadness. "I'm not a toy you can use to get over him either Glimmer. I'm not going to do that, no matter how much I like you."
Fighting the urge to slap him for that one, she looked at him seriously, noticing how cute he was and how he clearly did care for her, even if he was currently trying not to give into those feelings.
"I know that. That's not what I meant to do, I just…" She leaned her head against his chest and closed her eyes for just a minute, while she attempted to formulate a coherent response. "It's hard you know? All I've thought about for so long is Cato and winning him back. Not wanting him seems so hard to do, but… maybe it is time to try and move on."
She raised her head, noting the faint hint of a smile that just barely graced his lips and found an answering smile forming on her own lips. "You'll feel so much better when you do. Trust me, this isn't the Glimmer I know, you don't want to spend a lifetime pining away for something that will never be yours."
She wondered vaguely then, while his hand ran up her back and then down again to her hip, if he was referring to her, him or both of them. Was he saying he was trying to let go of her too? It was selfish of her, but she wasn't sure how she felt about finally realising he was attracted to her and having him let go of that. Would she lose possibly the only real friend she had left if he let go of liking her that way?
She bit her lip, head tilting to the side and then leaned in close, staring into his eyes. "Will you be waiting for when I finally manage it, or did I lose that too?" She found herself asking, with an unfamiliar feeling of loss at the mere thought of that happening.
His smile was genuine now and he leaned down, kissing her. It was softer, more sincere than her kiss had been, but it was also briefer and left her feeling like she might want more. She let him go though, it wasn't fair to keep him if she wasn't sure. She at least understood that now.
"Always. I should be taking my own advice here, but always. I'm your friend and I'll be here, just don't keep me waiting too long before I know whether that's all I've ever be ok? You aren't the only one who might need to let go."
He didn't let her speak again, he just brushed his lips against hers one last time and walked from the room with a soft smile that she easily returned this time.
Maybe, just maybe she'd already started to let go and reach out for something new. Only time would tell she supposed. But suddenly, not everything felt quite so painful as it had before.
