(a/n: So this is the start of my Valentine's weekend. I plan on uploading/updating from now through Sunday. Horraay~

The following is a M/M sexually explicit oneshot.

Pairing: Bourneton (Evan Bourne x Randy Orton)

(Slight crossdressing, food play, and I guess a maid kink?

Just read the damn fic)

~~Parfait~~

"Evan, 3 layered parfait to table 6!" Jack called from the kitchen, quickly maneuvering around their fellow coworkers. Evan adjusted his uniform and quickly made his way over to the table, placing the dessert in front of one very familiar customer. He blinked in surprise as the tattooed man ate quietly after thanking him without looking up, his eyes covered by a pair of expensive-looking aviator glasses.

"Randy? Is that you?" Evan questioned slowly. Randy's head rose up slowly and he nearly choked on his dessert. Evan yelped and slapped the older man's back lightly. Randy wiped his mouth and looked up at him in shock. "Evan! I haven't seen you since high school, how…are…you..." Randy trailed off when he finally noticed Evan's uniform.

This café was a special one. It was a maid café and the workers here all dressed and acted as such. Evan looked down at his own attire and blushed, trying to pull the dress down even more. He may have been short, but the maid uniform he wore was for women and all of his coworkers were smaller and shorter than him. He also happened to be the only male besides Jack and since Jack was a manager, he didn't have to wear this particular uniform.

"This is so embarrassing" Evan whined, shuffling slightly. Randy took another scoop from his parfait and chuckled. "It's cute. You look good. I didn't know you wore glasses" He pointed out, smoothly passing over the conversation about Evan's attire, since he saw how uncomfortable that made him. Evan noticed this and his cheeks got a bit darker as he unconsciously reached up to adjust his glasses. Randy watched him in amusement when Jack suddenly called from the counter.

"Evan! Flirt after hours, we've got orders up the ass over here!" The blonde shouted playfully. Evan got a few catcalls from his coworkers and a few regulars to the shop. He huffed quietly and nodded at Randy before scurrying away; keeping his hand on his ass so his already short skirt didn't rise up any more. He'd really have to talk to Natalya about buying him one that was made specifically for males.

Randy watched him go before returning to his treat.

~~1 Week later~~

Evan yawned and placed Randy's parfait down in front of him. The man had came to the café every day since they first saw each other and at this point, Evan knew what Randy liked on his parfait by heart.

Today was a slow day and Evan was on his break so he sat down across from Randy fumbling with his dress a bit to keep it down after he'd crossed his legs.

"Having trouble?" Randy questioned. Evan looked up and blushed. "Natalya made us all take proper etiquette classes before she even opened the café. Its gotten to be a bit of a habit" He muttered once he was finally satisfied with the position of the uniform. Randy hummed, interested. "Why did you agree to work here? Did you know you'd have to wear this?" He inquired.

A fierce blush rose to Evan's face and he lowered his gaze to the small cake in front of him. "I knew." He responded quietly. Randy propped his head up on his hand and waited for Evan to continue. "I knew I'd have to wear this, but this place means a lot to Natalya and Jack. It's not that bad wearing this. I get a few crude comments thrown here and there by rowdy male customers but Nattie or Jack always throw those types out as soon as they start causing trouble. I've also been swooned over by a few girls for some reason. Something about being adorable or whatever" Evan explained, bringing a small piece of his cake up to his lips.

"I told you before that you looked cute" Randy commented smoothly. Evan rolled his eyes and pushed Randy's arm playfully. Randy grinned and reached over, stealing some of Evan's cake. "Hey!" Evan protested, swatting at Randy's arm. Randy chuckled and held his spoon up to Evan's lips. Evan blinked and Randy just nodded.

"It tastes better today than usual" He told him. "Really?" Evan leaned forward slightly, taking Randy's offer. His face lit up and he smiled. "Wow, you're right. I think AJ picked up some different ingredients this week." He told him. Randy nodded and the two slipped into light conversation before Jack called Evan back to work.

Evan was getting up when Randy grabbed his wrist. The smaller male looked down and Randy placed a key in his hand. Evan blinked in confusion, holding the key up. "What is this for?" He questioned. Randy sat back and plucked a cherry from the top of his glass, popping it into his mouth, stem and all.

"Key to my house. It's closer than yours is to here. Feel free to crash there or stop by whenever" He told him, holding his hand out and lightly spitting the cherry stem out. It was tied in a neat little knot.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were hitting on me" Evan joked, walking away. He didn't notice the small smirk playing on Randy's face as he scooped another spoonful of his parfait into his mouth.

~few days later~

"Shit, Evan I'm sorry!" Eva yelped as she tried to pat the soda out of his shirt and pants. He shivered and politely pulled her hands away. "It's okay. I'm getting changed anyway" He told her as he wretched his shirt over his head, careful not to ruffle up his hair any more than he wanted it to be. She smiled at him and made her way back out, her head held high. Evan was sliding his pants off when he heard the crash in the kitchen.

"Dammit Eva!"

Evan laughed good-naturedly and got changed into his uniform, draping his clothes over a bar in the changing room before he walked out to start his shift.

~later~

When Evan got off his shift, he clicked his tongue, realizing his clothes weren't dry yet. Jack, who was walking by, clapped his hand onto his shoulder. "Are you alright buddy? You look upset" He pointed out. Evan pouted and held up his clothes. "Eva spilled a drink on me and my clothes still aren't dry. I can't go out there like that!" he complained. Jack rubbed his jaw.

"Want some of my clothes?"

"You're three times my size, Jack"

Jack sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. "I understand that, but you have people working on your house. Did you forget you were getting your house remodeled? You want to walk in there and let all those guys see you in a dress?" He questioned, his lisp stronger now that he was getting annoyed. Evan shied away from his best friend slightly, a pout on his face.

When he moved, something fell from his pocket, clanging to the floor. Evan and Jack looked down at the key. It was attached to a key ring. Jack arched a brow and picked it up, looking over at Evan. "This isn't your key" He pointed out. Evan blushed and Jack couldn't help but to chuckle. "This is Randy's, isn't it?" he questioned knowingly. Evan shuffled, taking the key from him. "S-shut up!" he whined, scrambling out of the room before his friend could tease him anymore. Jack watched him go and laughed lightly. "Don't forget the extras on the counter!" He called.

"I know, dammit!" Evan replied, picking the bag up off of the counter and making his way out of the café.

~at Randy's house~

Evan scurried quickly to the door and let himself in, kicking his shoes off at the door and tossing his keys into the dish by the door.

He quietly made his way into the home with a bag, glancing around curiously. "Randy?" He called, setting the bag down. Randy appeared from his study, smiling over at Evan. "Hey. What's in the bag?" He questioned. Evan smiled at him and turned to go in the kitchen.

"Jack gave me some left overs since he's going to buy ingredients tomorrow morning. I figured I'd take it and make a parfait for you. I know how much you love them" he hummed, setting some of the stuff out. Randy left his study and entered the kitchen, leaning on one of the counters behind Evan.

"You don't have to do that, you know"

"But I want to. I've been trying a few new fruits for them too. Do you like pineapples?" Evan questioned. Randy was going to respond when Evan muttered a curse as he dropped one slice of the previously mentioned fruit. He bent down without a second thought and all thought left Randy's mind at once.

The skirt came up and left little to the imagination. Evan's round bottom was covered by a black pair of extremely short shorts. They were tight and clung to the man.

Just as fast as he bent down, Evan popped back up, adjusting his glasses and tossing the pineapple slice away. Randy licked his lips and stepped closer to Evan, standing directly behind him but not touching him. Yet.

Evan felt him move and turned, blinking curiously at him. "What's wrong?" He questioned. Randy didn't respond at first, instead he reached over and grabbed a strawberry. He bit into it, a bit of the juice dribbling down his fingers and the corner of his mouth. Evan stared as Randy's tongue lapped up the juice by his mouth. Randy caught him staring and Evan shuffled slightly.

A slow, deliberate smirk crossed Randy's face and he brought the bitten fruit forward, trailing it oh so slowly over Evan's lips. Evan stared up at him with doe-like eyes and Randy shook his head.

"You give me that look and I just want to eat you up." He commented, leaning forward and sealing their lips together. A surprised sound left Evan's lips and he grabbed onto the counter to keep steady. Randy pulled away and pressed Evan against the counter, one of his hands trailing up the back of Evan's thigh. Evan looked back with a blush staining his cheeks. "R-Randy what are you-"

"Do you want me to stop?"

"N-no..."

Randy chuckled and pulled Evan back against his chest, kissing the side of his neck. "H-how long have you felt this way?" Evan questioned shakily as Randy's teeth scraped over his ear. Randy hummed thoughtfully.

"Quite some time. It doesn't help that I see you every day wearing this." To emphasize his point, Randy palmed Evan's ass, drawing a small mewl from the younger man. Randy continued his groping and noticed all of the parfait ingredients still sprawled out on his counter. His smirk grew as he stepped away from Evan completely. Evan turned quickly, staring at him in confusion. Randy sat in one of the island chairs and smiled lazily at Evan.

"Be a dear and bring the cherries and whipped cream over here" he cooed. Evan blinked in confusion and did as he was told. "Isn't this a bad time to be getting hungry?" He questioned slowly after he set them down. Randy couldn't help but to laugh and he picked Evan up, setting him on the counter. Evan squirmed and Randy ran his finger up Evan's leg starting from his inner thigh. Evan gasped quietly when Randy hooked his fingers underneath his shorts and briefs and pulled them both off in one smooth tug. He blushed and immediately pushed his skirt down in embarrassment. Randy grabbed his wrists and pulled them away.

"Nuh uh." He scolded, lifting the skirt up and smirking when he saw how aroused Evan had gotten. Evan covered his face with his hands and Randy laughed, shaking the whipped cream can while licking his lips. "I've always wanted to know how sweet you tasted" he mused, popping the cap open.

"Randy!" Evan protested. Randy pushed Evan's thighs apart even more, leaving him fully exposed. Randy placed the can aside for now and bent over, pressing his lips to Evans. He wasn't overly aggressive or pushy, just enjoying the meeting of their lips. He used this as a distraction and sneakily trailed his fingers over the side of Evan's cock. A gasp left his lips and Randy used this as an opening, delving his tongue into Evan's mouth. Evan moaned from beneath him, his legs wrapping around Randy's waist as his hands grabbed at Randy's shirt. Randy held the back of his neck with one hand and pumped Evan's cock at an infuriatingly slow pace.

Evan pulled away and whimpered, chewing on his lip. Randy smirked, enjoying the reaction he'd pulled from the smaller man. "R-Randy please. This isn't fair" Evan whined, his thighs quivering slightly. Randy chuckled, his fingers brushing the back of Evan's neck upwards until he tangled them into his raven locks, pulling. Evan gasped and his head went back. Randy bent down to press slow, deliberate kisses to Evan's neck.

"Fair? You looking that innocent is what's not fair. I almost feel bad about wanting to fuck you until you can't even remember your own name anymore. Almost." Randy gave Evan's cock a squeeze and the man moaned, his body starting to tremble.

"Randy, please…" Evan begged. Evan stared at him, taking in his whole face. His glasses were crooked on his face, having dropped down his nose ever so slightly while his chest heaved, his collar exposed because of the buttons unbuttoned on his uniform. Randy had a strong sudden urge to leave hickies on every inch of Evan's body, but he let go of the smaller man completely, leaning away. Evan shot up into a sitting position, eyes wide. "Where are you going?" He whined, Randy plucked a cherry out of the bowl and bit off the fruit, holding the stem out for Evan.

"Focus on this and tie a knot in it before I'm done" He challenged. Evan took the stem into his mouth. "Done doing what-oh my god!" Evan yelped when Randy picked up the whipped cream again, squirting one, cold line of the dessert topping onto the length of Evan's cock. Evan nearly swallowed the stem in surprise when Randy's head disappeared between his legs, the older man running his tongue over Evan's cock, cleaning it off completely. Evan's fingers twitched and he let out a hurried breath when Randy finally took his cock in his mouth.

Evan resisted the urge to push Randy's head down further, to hurry him up. He tried to focus on the challenge Randy gave him, twirling the stem around his mouth in a few attempts to tie it into a knot as he dealt with Randy's skilled tongue lapping at his cock. He shuddered, looking down and catching Randy's icy eyes boring into his own. Evan moaned and he could've sworn he saw Randy smirk despite having Evan's cock in his mouth. Evan nearly choked when Randy took more of him into his mouth, his hands rubbing circles into Evan's thighs. They quivered in response and Evan's body jerked slightly.

"Oh my god, Randy! S-Stop, I'm gonna cum, you need to stop" Evan panted, fingers clawing fruitlessly at the marble counter. Randy ignored him completely, instead sucking harder and moving his head faster, somehow still managing to look so infuriatingly smug all at once. Evan shuddered, crying out as he released. Randy swallowed every last drop and let Evan go with the most obscene of 'pop' sounds. Evan trembled, staring at him with wide eyes as Randy stood once more, a smirk playing on his lips. Evan's mind instantly flashed to where those lips were just moments before and he sat up, grabbing Randy by the collar of his shirt and pulling him roughly forward, slamming their lips together. Randy growled in response, responding to the kiss with as much need and desperation.

He picked Evan up by his ass, squeezing him ever so slightly. Evan wrapped his arms and legs around Randy's body once more and buried his face into the crook of Randy's neck as the older man carried him up to his bedroom. He dropped Evan onto his bed and grabbed his shirt, pulling it off with a fire in his eyes. Evan swallowed thickly as he sat up on his knees, crawling forward and unbuckling Randy's belt before pulling it free completely, tossing it away somewhere. He leaned up to kiss Randy's jaw as he made quick work of his pants, popping the button and pulling them down as much as he could. Randy kicked them aside and then lifted Evan's face with his fingers.

"I want you naked, too"

"I thought you liked my uniform"

"I do. But that's for another time. Off. Now."

Evan shuddered a bit at the commanding tone in Randy's voice as he took his uniform off with practiced ease. Randy took a moment to appreciate Evan's slender body before he reached over and gently removed his glasses, folding them up. "Last chance to back out of this" Randy warned, setting the glasses on a dresser across the room before he opened the door. Evan sat up slightly. "I want this" he stated, watching Randy with doe eyes. Randy hummed and pulled an unopened bottle of lube from the drawer as well as a condom, returning to Evan with three long strides.

"Hands and knees, I want your ass up" Randy ordered, leaning down to kiss Evan. Evan blushed and did as he was told, his body trembling in anticipation as he presented himself to Randy. The tattooed man bit his lip and squirted a bit onto his fingers. "Relax your body for me, this might hurt a bit" he commented as he pushed two in slowly. Evan's brows furrowed slightly and he wiggled slightly. "Are you alright?" Randy questioned, the gentleness in his voice betraying his underlying want to just throw Evan down and fuck the man into this damn mattress. Evan nodded.

"Just feels a little weird, I'm okay" he told him. Randy continued on slowly, watching Evan go from discomforted, to wanton in a matter of minutes. Evan had the sheets tight in his fist, his face on one of the pillows with his ass high in the air for Randy. It stirred something within the older man, especially when Evan began moaning his name desperately amongst barely coherent ramblings of 'more' and 'I need you so bad'. Randy pulled his fingers free and Evan blinked, trying to figure out what happened when he heard the sound of foil being ripped open. Randy grabbed Evan and rolled him over so he was flat on his back. Evan looked up and Randy pressed his lips to his cheek.

"You wanna spread your legs for me babe?"

Evan resisted the urge to hide his face and did as he was told. He was rewarded with a kiss and Randy whispering sweet nothings in his ear as he slowly pushed into Evan's tightness. Evan grabbed his shoulders tightly and whimpered in pain. Randy stilled immediately.

"Are you okay? Should I pull out?" he questioned warily. Evan shook his head, laughing airily. "No. You're just big. I need to adjust" he told him. Randy was mentally stroking his ego as he brushed over Evan's bottom lip with his thumb. Evan playfully nipped at him. "Move" he ordered quietly. Randy nodded and slowly pulled out before thrusting right back in.

Evan tucked his head right under Randy's jaw so he couldn't see him. Truth be told, it fucking hurt. He bit his lip to keep from whimpering, his breath coming out in short, harsh burst against Randy's collar. He could hear Randy enjoying himself and that made the discomfort worth it.

Then Randy angled his hips differently.

Evan nearly headbutted Randy as he tossed his head back, a startled yelp leaving his lips. Randy smirked and thrusted just like that. "Fuck, Randy!" Evan cried, his nails now digging into Randy's shoulders. The man smirked even more. "That's what I'm doing" he cooed. Evan would've retorted if he hadn't been using his voice to moan out literally everything on his mind.

"Fuck, Randy you're so big…I feel so damn full. I want you deeper, fuck, Randy faster!"

And just when Randy thought he couldn't be any more aroused by Evan. He grabbed him, pulling Evan clean up in a sitting position. Evan got the hint and began bouncing in Randy's lap, his arms around the older man's frame, his nails raking down Randy's back. Randy growled in his ear and grabbed both of Evan's ass cheeks, bringing him down on his cock even faster as he thrust up to meet his hips. Evan's moans grew even louder in his ear and Randy licked the side of his neck, looking across the room and noticing his mirror.

Entranced, Randy watched his own reflection, watching his cock disappear into Evan's tight ass, only to reappear seconds later. He bit Evan's ear, kneading both of those round globes in his hands. Evan let out a particularly high-pitched moan when Randy struck his prostate and the man lost what little control he was clinging onto. He slapped at Evan's ass, smirking both at the pleasured moan that left the smaller man and the redness that began to spread from the hits. He kept spanking him, using all of his strength to thrust up into Evan as hard and fast as he could, his balls slapping against Evan's ass.

There was something erotic about watching this all from a mirror.

Evan shuddered in his lap, rotating his hips as he rode Randy. He was losing his mind and felt like he was going to melt. "Randy, Randy!" he cried, his cock twitching against both of their abs. Randy felt it and smirked, licking the nape of Evan's neck. "If you wanna cum, do it" he urged, slapping both of his hands onto Evan's ass. Evan cried out loudly, pressing his face against Randy's shoulder as he released all over their abs. Randy watched the smaller man come undone in his lap and that did it for him as he fell over the edge too, releasing with a husky groan that was cut off when Evan kissed him.

The two rode it out until Evan came to a stop, just remaining seated in Randy's lap. Randy licked his lips, rubbing circles against Evan's hips. Slowly, Randy lifted Evan up before setting him down. He pulled the condom off and tossed it into the wastebasket he had by his nightstand. He was going to get up when Evan crawled towards him, licking his abs clean. When finished, he sat back and grinned at him.

"I see all those fruit parfaits I've made you have done you justice" he teased. Randy rolled his eyes and went to get a washcloth and Evan saw the long, angry scratches down his back. Randy returned, wiping Evan down and himself once more. He put the rag up and crawled into bed with Evan, kissing his forehead. Evan smiled and drifted off to sleep in Randy's arms.

~next morning~

"Jack, I can't come into work today" Evan muttered from his spot on the floor. He'd taken one step from Randy's bed and collapsed after his legs failed him. Randy was cackling in the background, proud of himself. Jack could hear it all and he rolled his eyes.

"I don't know if I should applaud you for getting laid or laugh. Just don't be late tomorrow. Enjoy Valentine's Day" he said as he hung up. Evan blinked and peeked over the edge of the bed at Randy, adjusting his glasses.

"Can I help you?" Randy questioned playfully. Evan shuffled slightly before crawling into bed again. He straddled Randy, smiling deviously

"Did I forget to tell you I tied a knot in that cherry stem?"

~Fin~

(a/n: For those of you wondering where the fuck this came from, I've been craving parfaits for some reason and Evan in a made outfit is cute. Don't judge me.

Please review~)