I just wrote this cuz i had some time, y'know? Each episode's gonna be a two-parter.
(edit I FIXED IT YAY)
Dave: Introduce yourself.
Your name is Dave Strider. You are a monster hunter. That's really all anyone else needs to know, as far as you're concerned.
Dave: C'mon, give us a little background.
Fine, whatever.
*Ahem* Your name is Dave Strider. You are a monster hunter. You've loathed anything even remotely nonhuman with a fiery, burning passion ever since you were two. You and your older brother Dirk were forced to witness the death and destruction of your mother, and the complete disappearance of your father. Off the records, deleted from the internet. You don't even remember his name, and you hate yourself for that, but Dirk won't give it up.
So, naturally, 22 years of searching have given you nothing.
You sigh, glancing at your brother in the drivers' seat. You've got your license and everything, but it feels more natural to let him drive. You're pretty similar on the outside, but anyone who gets to know more than that you're the pale, snowy-haired guys who shoot things that don't exist you're practically polar opposites. Dirk is sort of the yin of the two of you, the one who's quieter and darker, and lets you, the yang, handle the diplomatic and research-gathering stuff. Being six years old, he was able to fully comprehend exactly what happened to mom. You've only got hazy memories and a brief description from when you were teenagers and he'd gotten all angsty. You'd never been so scared for him.
"...It was horrible. She was just standing there, staring at me with these… these blank eyes, like bowls of milk. And then all of a sudden the darkness, those shadows that were lurking behind her and the light, they reached out… and they stabbed right through her. Like she was swiss cheese. But with blood coming out of the holes. And… and sh-she… she was smiling. The whole time. Like some cruel godheld this upon her, and she found the irony mocking. Dad was screaming, telling me to just go, that he'd take care of it. And I ran. I couldn't help it. I grabbed you, and I got the hell out of there."
"Snap out of it, we're almost there."
Your brother's voice interrupts himself, shaking you out of your recollection. You need to be alert in case of a fight. Especially one of wits.
"Got it. Pass by me one more time?"
"Some guy said he saw a bright flash of light a few hours ago, from the sky to the earth, that ended up crash-smack in the barn at the top of a hill. My suspicions are either aurorae or possibly a crashing dragon. I don't want to have to deal with Latula's little sister terrorizing everyone again." Most people wouldn't be able to understand a guy who spoke that fast, but Dave heard every word and thought for a moment.
"Let's hope that whatever it was, it's still there." You grin.
He grins back. "You mean still here. Get out, we've got a hill to hike."
He cuts the engine, and the both of you grab your guns before heading out of the car. Him, a black hunting rifle, you an old shotgun. Both of you are armed with silver-, copper-, bronze-, and gold-tipped bullets for quick and easy dispatch of most every creature.
Dave: Get a move on.
It's almost 10:30 as you reach the midpoint of the hill. Well into the timezone of most paranormal creatures to be lurking about, though if your own suspicions of what crashed in that barn are right, there won't be any within a hundred yards of the shed.
Ten more minutes of walking later, you find yourself at the doors of a barn, but not like you would find on a farm. It's blue, for one thing, and only about as big as a one-story house. It seems to have a high ceiling, but it's still small. As you watch, a chunk of beam from the hole detaches and falls inwards. This place is looking less and less like somewhere you want to be.
You walk carefully up to the door, twisting the knob. It's open, good. You won't need a crowbar. You pull it out, which surprises you but you step back. The darkness is almost tangible, pitch black save for a ragged starburst of moonlight smack in the middle of the floor. The streaks of light dapple over a figure on the floor, humanoid from this distance but hard to tell.
You motion for Dirk to follow you, and the moment your hear his rifle click you step forward.
The floor of the barn is littered with hay and straw, but as your eyes adjust you notice wheeled racks of tools against the walls and even a smelter in the corner. You inch towards the body on the ground, and once you realize just what you're seeing you're momentarily taken aback.
It's beautiful. A young man of about your age, maybe a little younger, with a mop of messy raven hair and wide-frame, black-rimmed glasses. His arms and torso are swathed in an ebony lab coat, but from this angle you can see his white button-up and blue tie. Even though he appears to be a grown man, maybe he doesn't have a concept of maturity because he's wearing black flare jeans and blue converse hi-tops. Do they even make those for adults?
He shifts a bit, as if waking up, and you're drawn once again to his face. He looks oddly perfect, almost too perfect. His cheeks are a little pudgy, but not overly so, and his sideburns are cut off cleanly without another trace of facial hair. Just makes him look younger. His mouth is open slightly, and a set of ivory buckteeth poke out.
You almost miss it (you're staring so much) when a faint, ghostly outline of huge raven's wings spread from his back as he blinks open his eyes. Your hands are shaking so badly you almost drop your shotgun. His eyes are deep velvet blue, and they stare blankly for a moment before flicking around the room. They skip right over you and Dirk, although the both of you raise your firearms again when he obviously flashsteps, blurring slightly and then suddenly standing ten feet away wielding a good-sized hammer. He stares at you with a gaze as hard as sapphire but relatively unhostile, waiting for you to speak first.
Dirk cocks his rifle, but you take the opportunity to speak. Maybe try the diplomatic approach. "Angel, if I'm correct?"
He pauses for a moment. Is it just you, or do his eyes soften slightly as they look you over? "Yes." His voice is smooth like butter, and quiet, as if he's shy. "What do you want from me?"
"Nothing from you. We're only looking for some easy cash, I suppose." You realize that didn't sound great as his eyes narrow. "We thought you might be some source of paranormal activity, like an aurora or something. Strider brothers, monster hunters."
The head of the hammer lowers a bit, and he raises an eyebrow over his glasses. "That was lame, if you didn't notice. I hope it was made up ironically." He speaks with deadly seriousness, and you get the feeling he can see right through your shades. But you huff. He obviously knows jack about sick rhymes.
"Pfft. Bull." Dirk snorts behind you. "You should hear him rap. He definitely did not pick it up from me, at least not properly. C'mon, Dave, you two can flirt later. We should get back to town."
A light blush spreads across the angel's cheekbones, and you feel your own face getting warm. You twist, glaring at Dirk. "We're not flirting."
You snap your head back around to stare at the angel. He looks a bit alarmed, probably matching you - you'd both spoken in unison. You think you hear Dirk sigh and leave.
You clear your throat, and you can feel yourself reddening further. "Well, er, angel-"
"Johnathan. My name's Johnathan." He interrupts you, crossing his arms. He uncrosses them just as suddenly, looking back up at you. "But you can call me John."
"Wow, you're getting rid of five letters, two syllables, and half your name, just for me?" You smirk. "Well, John, why don't you just go ahead and fly on outta here, mmkay? People might start showing up."
He crosses his arms again, literally pouting like a little kid. "I can't fly - not anymore. I've been exiled from Prospit."
You raise an eyebrow. "Kicked outta heaven? What'd you do?"
"I sinned." He gives you a mischievous bucktoothed grin, blue eyes shining. "Let's just say I pranked the wrong Son of God." You raise the other eyebrow, intrigued as to why he would piss with one of the elite group of angels that worship whatever deity really exists. "His girlfriend may have helped. A lot."
You smirk. Maybe you were wrong about this guy. "Well, John. You need a place to stay, you come find me.
His grin turns a little less sharp and a little more friendly, watching as you follow Dirk out. You catch up with him about halfway down the hill, but it only takes about five minutes to get down. It takes a lot more time to defy gravity than it does to jog down a hill.
You buckle in, and it scares the shit out of you to see John sitting cross-legged in the back of the slick black truck bed. You're absolutely certain he hadn't been there a second ago. He looks up, winks, and waves.
Dirk smirks. "Oh, look, your boyfriend showed up."
You ignore him. You notice John fiddling with something as Dirk starts up the truck - a silver cellphone. You don't think, you just write your handle on your hand with a sharpie and rap on the glass, and he reads it off to himself. He looks confused but gets the message, fiddling with his phone again.
You don't know why, but you like this guy. Maybe it's just his angelic charisma, but you want him to be part of your team.
Your pocket buzzes and you pull it out, unlocking it with a swipe of your thumb and opening up Pesterchum. You don't text like a normal person, you use a kids' chatting website to innocently and without suspicion talk to certain people and reap info about your family and supernatural happenings. A blue envelope icon blinks in the corner of your screen, displaying a banner across the top:
One (1) new message from ghostyTrickster
You ponder the name 'ghosty trickster' for a moment before you tap the blue envelope.
GT: i assume you want to talk?
You don't have a real reason for wanting to talk to him, and you start to feel stupid as you stare at your phone. The words sound curt, almost annoyed, as if he has better things to do.
TG: yeah the guy we talked to said the flash of light weve pretty much determined to be your arc of descent from prospit happened hours ago so why were you unconscious so long
GT: funny story, actually. i heard the two of you tromping up the hill, and i'll admit to panicking. i settled on the assumption that you wouldn't shoot a dead man.
TG: lucky for you we wouldnt but dont get so cocky bro it might be a good idea to stick with us
GT: sounds good. for now.
You pause before answering. He sounds real distant. You sigh… if you're going to ask him, your should just ask him.
TG: so how old are you anyways like do you look how you did when you died or can you alter your appearance or something
GT: for your information, i was born an angel.
TG: oh man im sorry
GT: i'm twenty-three.
TG: yeah thats what i figured youre like my age and im 24
GT: oh, wow, i thought you were younger. why do you wear those sunglasses? it's practically midnight, how can you even see anything? plus, it makes it hard to tell your expression. or your feelings, for that matter.
TG: exactly for those reasons yknow i mean why are your eyes so blue theyre like 0000ff
GT: did you just hexcode me? and it's angel dna. it alters my physique a lot. my skeletal structure, shoulderblades, eyes, liver, teeth… lots of stuff.
TG: im tempted to ask what else it alters
GT: oh, come on, strider!
TG: call me dave man i mean you let me call you john and you didnt even know my name i still feel flattered
GT: well, you shouldn't. i'm not flirting.
TG: are you sure
GT: to change the subject… why do you hunt monsters in the first place?
You stare at your phone for a split second. Did he have to ask? You shove your phone in your pocket. You don't like talking about that. Dirk gives you a look, and your phone buzzes a couple times, deep in your pocket, but you leave it there, staring straight ahead.
"He asked, didn't he?"
You don't answer.
"It's not his fault. It's not like he knows."
If John could hear you and Dirk walking up the hill, he probably has some sort of angelic hearing or whatever, so you're sure he can hear Dirk speaking.
"...I don't like talking about it. It's depressing." You finally mutter, not directed at your brother.
Your phone buzzes again, and you sigh as you pull it out and check the messages.
GT: did i do something wrong? i'm sorry.
GT: pick up your damn phone! i'm trying to apologize, you dick!
GT: did something happen? did someone die?
GT: oh, my god, i'm so sorry. don't be sad. :(
TG: for gods sake just shut up stop apologizing its not your fault
TG: and yes someone did die
TG: my mother
GT: wow, i'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up something like that. are you okay?
TG: what do you mean ok
GT: like, emotionally or whatever. do you want a hug?
TG: i dont need a hug but if youre the one offering ill take it
GT: okay! when we get there, then?
TG: jesus why are you so cheerful do angels have crack
GT: no, and i don't know why. i mean, i've been told i have a happy personality, but i really don't have any reason to be happy right now. i just got thrown out of my home, and now i'm in the back of a perverted stranger's pickup truck. although since it's you, i guess it's not so bad.
TG: you have some way with words man
TG: but seriously whats so special about me
You turn to look at him through the window, and you watch as he checks his phone. His expression slips from a smile to confused to annoyed and a little concerned. He types, but all of a sudden he blushes and sends it, shoving it in his pocket and looking away for a second, long enough to spot you and blush harder as he ducks his head.
And then all of a sudden you're blushing, wondering what it is he's blushing about. You pick up your phone but it rings in your hands, startling the hell out of you.
It's the mayor of the next town over, Can Town. Yeah, you laughed at first, too. You answer it quickly.
"What's up?"
He quickly explains to you the predicament, how a nymph has been spotted on 25th and 3rd and how people are freaking out. You motion for Dirk to turn around as the two of you continue talking, but it's only four or five minutes later that he hangs up and you set your phone down.
Dirk looks at you confusedly, but you interject before he can ask. "Can Town, 25th and 3rd. Apparently a nymph's decided to walk outta her pond."
"Water nymphs are such bitches. Remember that Peixes girl?"
"Meenah? Oh, god. Didn't she almost spear you with her trident?"
You take out your phone to text the deets to John, only to remember his blush and how he must have texted you something he apparently thought blush-worthy.
GT: well, uh, not only are you kinda really handsome, but you seem brave, too. i mean, even i wouldn't hunt monsters on my own, not even for a bounty. you're doing something a lot of people can't and it's all for a grudge. that's pretty special.
TG: okay you can stop right there bro im not special and thats final
TG: on another note how do you feel about nymphs
GT: are you really expecting my help here?
TG: you dont have to i just thought you might want to idk some people like doing this
TG: i should warn you though
TG: if this is the same girl from last time shes gonna be a beach
TG: the biggest beach ball on the coast
TG: horrible person
GT: jesus. i get it. she's a bad girl.
GT: and, yeah, sure, i'll help. not like i got to do much at home.
GT: real life monster hunter. cool.
TG: not as cool as you think man
TG: life threatening shit happens every day
TG: i hate it
TG: but i hate the supernatural more
TG: i hate them and i want them to die
TG: one of these days im going to find satan himself
TG: and punch him right in his stupid face
TG: i gurantee you
GT: whoa, dave, calm down. jeez. i understand and everything, but christ almighty calm your man tits. and technically angels are part of the supernatural…
TG: yeah i dont favor your kind much either
TG: but youre ok i guess
GT: you guess.
GT: wow.
GT: getting some serious compassion here.
TG: no i dont mean it like that
TG: like uh
TG: youre the green jellybean
TG: in the huge whole jar of jellybeankind
TG: youre that one lime flavored jellybean
TG: thats like the best
GT: so… i'm a jellybean?
TG: …
TG: yes
TG: my point exactly
TG: you are an angelic jellybean
GT: an angelibean.
TG: hahahahano
You look out the window.
TG: i think were almost there
GT: i can tell. you're tense.
TG: jesus christ stop paying so close of attention to me
TG: im not that interesting
GT: in your eyes, maybe. but you're the first real human i've ever seen. like, in the flesh. everything about you is interesting.
GT: like the soft streaks of blond to your silver hair, the way you frequently look in a random direction to check your surroundings every minute, the way your bright crimson eyes look almost brown through your shades.
GT: is that why you wear them?
GT: or the specific way you move your thumbs over the keyboard on your phone, or the tap-tap-tap of your foot when you start to get nervous, or the way your heartbeat shifts when you read my texts.
GT: yeah, i can hear your heartbeat.
TG: okay thats really creepy please stop
TG: like hello ok i get youre an angel but come on man thats over the line
GT: why is it that you'll suddenly blush and look off to the side when i say certain things?
TG: dude stop
GT: are they suggestive? in human terms, anyways?
TG: no seriously thats enough
GT: am i different to you?
TG: shut up
GT: but dave, i just have one question.
TG: i said shut the fuck up that means stop talking and stop asking questions
GT: why didn't you notice when it happened?
GT: are you paying attention?
TG: notice what
You oblige grudgingly, turning to look - and see that John has his phone tucked into his pocket.
But your phone buzzes defiantly in your hand.
GT: there you go. here, allow me to switch over to my own account.
You furrow your eyebrows, staring at your phone until a little purple envelope shows up in the corner.
One (1) new message from tentacleTherapist
You slowly click it.
TT: This is better. I was beginning to tire of my little game, anyways.
TG: who are you
TT: My name is Rose.
TT: He does notice everything about you, you know.
TT: Everything.
TT: I just plucked those thoughts from inside his head.
TG: youre lying
TG: what do you want with me
TT: Nothing with you.
TT: I want the angel. There's a bounty on his head in Prospit.
TG: what
TG: he told me he was exiled from prospit
TT: I know. But he wasn't.
TT: He is heir to the throne and doesn't want anything to do with it.
TT: So he ran away.
TG: no youre lying
TG: why should i believe you
TG: why would i believe that john lied to me
TT: Because he's just a pretty face. Let him go. You don't need him.
TT: Just send him to 25th and 1st instead. He'll be gone and you won't even miss him.
TT: You can have a slice of the profits. 30 percent.
TG: no
TT: 40 percent.
TG: i said no
TT: 50 percent. Even split.
TG: what part of no dont you understand
TG: john is my friend im not just gonna let you turn him in
TT: 50 percent of the bounty is 500 million boonbucks.
TG: …
TG: well then i guess youre out a billion
TG: youre not getting john
TT: I would spend more time bickering with you but I have to go. I'll change your mind, though.
TT: Try asking him about his past.
tentacleTherapistceased pesteringturntechGodhead
You frown, but Dirk stops the truck before you can do anything. You shove your phone into your pocket with a low growl, throwing the door open and jumping out. Your boots hit the ground with a resounding thud. You don't like this Rose chick, not one bit. And you are not letting her get her hands on the angel in the back of your truck.
You freeze as said angel suddenly has his hands on you, momentarily forgetting your lapse of judgement and allowance of a hug.
You remember that, of course, after you've flung him over your shoulder by the wrist and tackled him to the ground upon reflex.
Whoops.
And the fact that he's really cute and flustered and confused doesn't help when you blush and freeze. Not like you haven't pinned down and straddled a hot guy before, but for some reason this is different. You suddenly unfreeze, unceremoniously and embarrassedly scrambling off him. "Sorry, John… reflexes. Don't sneak up on me like that... or at all."
You offer your hand and he takes it, allowing you to pull him up to a stand.
"It's fine. I probably should have figured, y'know?"
You blush a little more as you realize he's still holding your hand, and you pull it back, stuffing it in your pocket. He hugs you instead, practically throwing his arms around you and resting his head on your shoulder like a cute boy lolita or something.
Okay, stop right there.
You kind of stand there, and he seems to get the hint, looking up at you with a confused expression. "You said I could hug you…"
"I said you could hug me, not tackle me. And what's with the nuzzling or whatever? I didn't ask for this and I certainly don't want to cuddle."
He looks hurt for a second, and the sheer expression on his face stops you dead momentarily. "Sorry… it's just, I'm empathic, and I can tell you're hurting pretty bad. Sometimes people just need a good hug, y'know?" He replaces it with that cute bucktoothed smile, and not for a single moment do you forget he's from Prospit. A gift, that's what he is.
You hold back a smile, shifting your arms to hug him back. "Yeah, I guess you're right." You concede, looking ever so slightly down at him through the dark mask of your aviators.
All of a sudden you hear a chuckle and a hand shoves the back of your head. You tilt your head down at the last second, avoiding a forced kiss with John.
You let him go, whirling around to glare at Dirk. He smirks.
"What? You had plenty of opportunities to kiss him, I was just helping."
"You weren't helping shit, and you know it. There's nothing to help - I don't like him like that! You know I couldn't, not if he's a- a-..." You hiss, forgetting momentarily that John can hear you before it hits you and your words suddenly turn bitter in your mouth.
The three of you are silent for a moment before you shove past Dirk to get to the truck and grab your sawed-off shotgun. You hand it and his hunting rifle to Dirk, before grabbing both his katana and your spatha and shutting the truck.
Without a word you shove the shotgun at John, tossing Dirk his katana before shoving your pistol into its concealed holster and tucking your sword into your belt loop.
It takes you half a second to recognise the tune Dirk hums, and you can't help the grin that cracks across your face.
"I'm an angel with a shotgun, fighting 'til the war's won, I don't care if heaven won't take me back." The two of you chorus, and John just looks very, very annoyed with the two of you.
"Are you done yet?"
You're too busy laughing to answer.
You hear Dirk say something quietly, probably something to the effect of 'leave him be, you've seen how he needs to be happy' or other and John just shrugs.
"Hey, is that her?" He says, pointing to something up on top of a streetlamp about a block away.
"I'd bet my blade on it." Dirk growls through his teeth.
They're right - you see her '2x3dent' and her long black braids, and her webbed feet are clear in sight. You wonder why no one has seen her yet.
"Let's go. You coming, soldier?" You direct at John, who winces slightly before glaring at you.
"I don't see why. But I also don't see why not." He shrugs, and the three of you set off.
She doesn't seem to notice you until you call up at her, but she looks down boredly once you do. She stares at John for a moment, a slow smile spreading across her face.
'Whale, if it isn't Johnny-buoy. The lost sole who escaped from his past with a mere flick of his fin."
SECOND HALF IS DONE NOW!
