Author Notes: Hah, new story... I probably should have updated 'King For A Day' first... Oops. Well, it's not like anyone really wanted the next chapter, anyway. That made me very sad -sniff-
But then I started writing this, just for the hell of it, and now I'm happy again. My first non-angst fic! For now, anyway. This was supposed to be quite angsty, but now it's not... :D
Summary: Meet Zexion Kael, 16, high schooler, pianist, and totally in love with his best friend, Demyx Intre. Problem? Demyx is head over heels over head for Naminé Foot. Another problem? Well, Nocturne, Demyx's band, tours the world in a few months. Jealous much?
Dedication: I dedicate this story to Zume-Chan! Again, yes, but there's a reason for this that may or may not be revealed at a later stage in time, depending on how I feel. Zume, this story's for you! (Not just the chapter, this time :P)
Disclaimer: -Takes headphones off ears- What'd you say? Disclaimer time? Oh, well ME NO OWN KINGDOM HEARTS. Or anything else in here. 'Cept the plotline. And Zexion's Mom XD -Puts headphones back on-
--IX-VI--
-Without A Whisper-
This sucks. Fully, completely, ultimately sucks.
But then, I could be talking about anything, couldn't I? My job sucks. My Mom sucks. School sucks. That random down the street with the hat and shitty attitude sucks. So, in short, I'm saying we all suck.
But what's so extremely sucky that I'm rambling on about it - something that I normally don't do? Well, I suppose I should tell you.
My name is Zexion Kael. I am sixteen, in high school, and one of the best students there, I might add. I play piano, and I play well. I have an imaginative... gene, you could call it, to help me write and a creative, artistic one to help me draw. I don't have many friends, but that's because I don't trust many people. And I just happen to be absolutely, infallibly in love with my best friend; Demyx Intre. Who, I must say, is pining after a girl named Naminé Foot. Oh, and did I mention we're both guys? Well, I have now.
Now, this is all fine and dandy. I'm used to being rejected the things I want, it's kinda sorta pretty much the story of my life. But I have to say, if there is one thing I love with a passion, it's music. Alternative, rock, jazz, heavy metal, whatever. It's music. The thing I love most, though, is making music. So I do it the best I can.
In fact, I loved it so much, that I decided to introduce it to my uber-best-friend, the one that I'm head over heels over head in love with, when we were both eight. He took a shine to it. Real quickly. He found an instrument, learned how to play and still plays it now, in a really big band that has toured half the world. Twice.
I think to myself, wonder why I'm not up there, duking it out with the best of them. And then I think, 'Oh, it's probably because I'm not good enough.' My self-esteem gets knocked down, and I get stuck in a big hole of self-imposed depression.
Demyx doesn't know, though. I'd never tell him. He'd feel too bad, and that would make my heart go crazy. Like in a mad, crazy, freaking hurting kind of way. Then I'd probably start trying to cover my tracks and no doubt some things would be said and I would run from the room in embarrassment.
Knock, knock.
And that would be him, right on time as usual. I must be mad, letting him come over when I can barely stand in his presence. Then again, he did ask if he could come. Said he had something to tell me.
This sucks. My heart thumped for a moment then. I'd been thinking about what he might have to tell me. Or, more accurately, I'd been fantasizing. Yeah.
Our house (my Mom's, I should be saying. It's not mine... yet) was fairly small. It was me, Mom and my two brothers; Riku and Saïx. Saïx hasn't been round for a while, though. And I'm not too fond of him, 'cause he pulled apart my keyboard when I was five and refused to put it back together. Yeah, my grudges last a looong time. I've got a small five-year-running grudge against Axel for burning my teddy bear, Mr. Muffins.
Anyway, I walked out of my ridiculously small room, through a narrow hallway into an equally as ridiculously small lounge. Mom was already at the door, chatting away with Demyx (who was still standing outside, I noticed), My heart thumped at the sight of him, and I mentally yelled at myself for being so emotionally unstable. Whoops, there goes another coupla self-esteem points.
"Hey Dem," I greeted, stopping myself from saying anything else by yawning and stretching out. "So, how are you?" Well, almost anything. But I managed to stop myself from saying anything that would have me slamming my head against the nearest solid object possible.
Demyx smiled, spotting me. "Hey, Zexi!" Ugh, my nickname. The one that I both loved and detested. "Thanks for letting me come over today! It means a lot to me. Especially since Larxene's home, and she has her posse over." He made a face at the thought of his sister, Larxene Intre.
He wouldn't know it, but the sentence 'It means a lot to me' made those porcupines in my tummy jump around like crazy. Yes, porcupines. The butterflies went on vacation, so the moths came in. Some local frogs were hungry and ate the moths, then settled in. And then, over the space of about two minutes, thirty-seven seconds and a half in Demyx's company, they had genetically mutated into porcupines. Porcupines that seemed to hate my guts. Or my stomach. Whatever.
"He's doing it again!"
"Meh. Don't worry about him, he'll come to in a few seconds and no doubt his face'll be a shade so red it'll put tomatoes to shame. And then they'll all sue him for trauma."
"Huh, what?" I shook myself out of my thinking trance to see two pairs of eyes looking at me. One was the familiar do-what-I-say-or-I-will-disembowel-you-with-a-blunt-kitchen-utensil brown coloured eyes. The other was a pair of bright, wide and familiar cerulean coloured eyes and they were staring. Right. At. Me. It was very awkward.
Totally against my will, I blushed. Damn you, traitorous, disloyal, now-very-pink cheeks! If those tomatoes decide to sue, I'll blame it all on you and you'll have to make your own living as a bum! Ha! We'll see how you like them apples!
Demyx laughed, leaning back (out of my face, thankfully). "Well, Zexion, can you keep your feet on the ground long enough for me to tell you something?"
Oh, yeah. Well, there goes my heart trying to out-beat a rabbits. "I'm not that bad," I protested, "I just have lots of stuff on my mind at the moment. So, you had something to tell me?" I asked. I think I sounded kind of pathetic. I sounded... hopeful? Yea, that's the word.
The blond grinned, rolling his eyes. "Suuuuure you do, Zexi," he smiled. "Anyway, I decided that, since it was you that got me into this in the first place, I'd tell you first."
It was possibly the worst thing he could have said. I froze at those words, my blood feeling for all the world like sub-zero frozen coke. I had to fight as the jealously tried to overcome what I felt for him. Which, let me tell you, wasn't a very hard thing to do at the moment. That green-eyed monster of mine is a brute.
Demyx continued on and on and I had to make sure I looked like I was paying attention. "So, Luxord, the president of possibly the largest music label in this country, came and offered my band a deal! We go on tour in a few months with Eternal. You know, the band that brought Zebra Print back into style? Lead singer's some dude named Xemnas - pretty creepy in my opinion - and their no. 1 hit song whatever's called 'Indeed'."(1)
Honestly, totally, completely did not know exactly why he was telling me this. I mean about the extra random facts. Sure, this deal was big. Like, 'Let's go tour the world!' big. Yeah. Not doing much good for that freaking jealously monster of mine. What was worse: I wasn't invited. But I planned to change that some time soon.
I nodded while Demyx kept talking, sighing in relief when he finally stopped. "Well, well done, Dem. You did well," I said through a fake smile. How he thought I was sincere, I do not know. "So, are you planning on staying, or are you off again?" I asked. In a way, I wanted him to stay. In another, I wanted him to leave now and not come back for a while. A long while.
For a while he just stared into nothing before he blushed and tried to hide it with a shake of his head. It didn't. "Uh... I should probably go. I think I'm wanted." He smiled a sheepish, slightly embarrassed grin.
I smiled a bitter smile, seeing through his pretenses like you would through rice-paper (which actually has no rice in it). "Who is it?"
Demyx jumped. "Who is what?"
I laughed. He was funny when he was trying to cover something up. "You know what I'm talking about, Dem. Tell me, before I employ Mom to disembowel you with a spork."
He blushed, and in a very small and insignificant voice, said, "Naminé."
Ah. Affirmation. I was right after all. My heart plummeted right to the bottom, further down than it had been when he told me about his deal. Well, maybe not. Maybe it floated just a little bit above that place. Yeah, jealously has a lot to say for my behavior recently.
"I'm... gonna go now, Zexi, but thanks for listening to me," Dem announced, getting ready to leave. Then his phone beeped; he had a txt. So, he pulled out his phone, checked it and made a face. He turned back to me, still standing outside. "On second thought, would it be alright if I stayed the night?"
Oh, great. Now I get to add the heart-trauma of having him here all night to the jealousy of his music deal and his feelings for Naminé. Well, that's one freaking yuck cup of tea, obviously not meant for me. And hey, I hate it so much it made me rhyme. I hate that, too.
I nodded. "Yeah, sure, of course. My home is your home, whenever you want it. Of course, that is, metaphorically, of course, otherwise you'd be paying the rent, and electricity bills and stuff. But you're not, so it's obviously not your house that you own, otherwise you'd be here all the time and I would see you everyday more than I normally do anyway. And then you'll... Ah... I'm rambling, aren't I?"
Demyx laughed and nodded. "Yeah, you are. Your Mom won't mind, though?" I shook my head. "I suppose she'd be used to me by now. Oh! Are my clothes here?"
Yes, Demyx, they are. Ever since the first sudden sleepover a coupla year back, he always kept a pair of PJs and a change of clothes here. Heh. I wasn't much surprised when he first told me he still wore PJs to bed at night. He just seemed like a PJ person.
I nodded, and Demyx went to tell Mom that he was staying (she had left when our conversation starting to exclude her). I sighed, wondering exactly why I just had to go bonkers over my best friend. It made things kind of complicated. You know, just maybe.
"Hi, Zexion. Are you my welcoming committee today?"
I jumped, shook my head, and suddenly Riku was standing in the door, absolutely soaked. Raising my eyebrows, I leaned over to look out the door, then looked back at my brother. It was a fine, sunny day, just as the fat weather man on TV had said it would be. "What happened to you? Do you have your very own personal raining emo cloud following you?"
Riku rolled his eyes, pushing past me into the lounge. He dumped his jacket on the couch and missed. "Oh, you can talk, 'Mr. Screaming 'Emo! Emo! Emo!' At Me Will Not Make Me Feel Luved'."(2)
I snorted, following after him (first closing the door, of course). "Yeah, because I am so emo, listening to caramelldansen."(3)
Riku laughed, then seemed to sniff the air like he was a dog. Oi! The little bugger. That was my special talent! "Demyx is here," he said matter-of-factly. And, just like any well-rehearsed hollywood movie, Demyx just happened to burst in.
"Hey Zexi, your Mom's awesome! She's baking cookies! You know, the ones with the little marshmallows and bits of crunchie in them? I love those ones! Oh, hey, Riku! Your Mom's awesome! Hey, what happened to you?" Demyx babbled on, stopping when he saw Riku dripping drops of water on the carpet.
Riku made a face. "Sora happened."
Looks of comprehension dawned on our faces. Ah. No other explanation was needed. Most people thought Sora suffered from having ADHD and an addiction to sugar. They would be wrong. Sora didn't suffer from ADHD. He enjoyed every single minute of it.
Mom walked in, her hands caked in some sort of flour and egg mixture. "Hey, Riku, there's some- what happened to you?"
Riku made another face. I decided to cover up for him, because that's the kind of nice, caring brother I am. Psht, yeah right. He's gonna owe me a hundred munny for this. "Sora happened. We like to call him 'the place where intelligence goes to die.'"(4) Yeah, see! That's a hundred munny worthy speech, I'm sure.
Mom made an 'Ah' face, then laughed a little. "I'm sure you didn't really need to be that harsh, but I see your point. Anyway, Riku, I suggest you go clean yourself up. And you two, what are you going to do?"
With my life? I dunno, die? For today? Well, I didn't know that, either. Luckily, Demyx saved me from actually having to think of anything to do. Again. In fact, I probably owed him a hundred munny for all the times he's done that. Then again, maybe not. "We'll be fine up in Zexi's room! I haven't heard him play piano in so long! He never plays in music anymore. Why is that? I love listening to you play."
I nodded, turning away to hide my face. Damn you, cheeks! Why haven't those tomatoes sued you yet?! Because everything hates you, said my little voice. Gee, thanks for the moral support, voice. This is why I never listen to you.
"Actually..." Mom looked thoughtful. "Zexi-" argh, that nickname, "-I need you to go over to the dairy and buy me some of those little marshmallows. We seem to have run out. Demyx, can you help me in the kitchen? I'm going to need more than one pair of hands. Munny's on the table, honey. Thank you!"
With barely enough time to grab the aforementioned munny, Mom shoved me out the now open door, grabbed Demyx's arm and slammed the door in my face. Harrumphing, I opened the door, yelled my protest and shut the door again. From inside, I could hear Mom yell, "We love you, too!"
Sighing, I set off down the street, trying not to imagine the possibility of seeing a bum stuck in a manhole. Unfortunately, my ability to not imagine things once thought of is ziltch, so I ended up seeing bums in every manhole I passed. Schizophrenic? Naaaah. But it was the reason I didn't realize I didn't have shoes until I was already halfway there.
Clap, clap! I thought to myself. Then a strange thought occurred to me. I have no shoes. I'm a bum! That made me laughed. I must have looked kind of crazy, walking down the street and laughing for no apparent reason. Mhm, yeah, I'm completely sane. -Insert-impressive-snort-here-
I walked into the shop, saw the person at the counter, turned around and walked straight back out again, trying desperately to keep a straight face. Standing at the counter, looking completely out of place in his shabby clothes, was a bum. No, not the thing you poop out of. A homeless person. A bum, you know? Oh, I am so nice.
Taking a few minutes to get myself together again, I finally got the 'courage', you could call it, to walk back in. Trying my hardest to ignore who did or didn't stand at the counter, I made my way to the back of the store where the little marshmallows made it a habit to frequent themselves.
"It's gone!" I exclaimed.
"What's gone?" Asked a voice behind me.
"It."
"Oh, bad it, come back."
"I have a feeling somebody stole it."
"Oh."(5)
"Hey, who are you, anyway?" I turned around to see who was talking to me. And jumped. Very high. Knocking over something from the shelf on the way. "Sora? What are you doing here? I thought- He said- What?!"
Sora smiled his best Cheshire Cat smile and handed me a bag of little marshmallows. "Oh, nothing, really. Roxas sent me to buy him some lollies, or an ice cream, or something. I think he wanted an ice block... Oh, and he said I could buy me some lollies with the change!" He grinned.
He may have been grinning, but I, however, blanched. "Roxas, sensible, trustworthy Roxas let you buy lollies. Doe he have a death wish?! Or has he finally lost it?"
Sora pouted, following me to the counter. "I'm not that bad!" He protested. Actually Sora, you're right. You're not that bad, you're worse. "Besides, Roxas wanted one of those sea-salt ice creams, and they cost a lot, so there's not gonna be much change left," he pointed out, grabbing an ice cream and a small ten munny lolly mix.
I snorted, putting the bag of little marshmallows on the counter. "It doesn't matter how much or how little you have, Sora. One pink smoker can set you off. And they're tiny! Miniscule!" I said, handing the counter man my munny. The bum still hadn't left yet, I noticed. No, I was not laughing at him inside... Much.
I moved out of the way so that Sora could pay. It took a little while and involved mucho furious counting on fingers, but eventually Sora pulled out the right amount of munny and paid the dude.
Sora grinned happily, opening the bag and putting the first lolly he grabbed into his mouth.
I heard a shuffling noise and I turned to look. The bum was shuffling towards us, and I stifled a laugh, looking closely. This bum was slightly on the short side, with a tattered hood over his head. He approached Sora from the side, tugged on his arm and pointed to his bag. "Lolly?" he said, then pointed to himself.
The brunet took one look at him, almost screamed and ran from the shop, yelling, "Help! Help! I'm being mugged by a bum!" The shopkeeper wasn't very happy about this.
The bum laughed, wiped some of the grime from his face and pulled his hood back. I almost choked on the marshmallow I was eating. "Roxas?! What'd you do that for? You scared him half to death!"
Roxas grinned, leaning down to pick up the ice cream Sora had dropped. "Well, it was funny, wasn't it? I didn't know he could squeal that high!" He opened the packet and stuck the ice cream in his mouth. "Shides, Ri'u ashked me to get back a' him fo' shovin' him in the pond."
I sighed as we both left the shop. "Roxas, you gave the boy lollies. Those aforementioned lollies have sugar in them. Do you have a death wish? Or do you just hate us all?" I asked, trying very hard not to think of the havoc Sora could cause just by being there.
Roxas frowned slightly. "He's not that bad..."
Oh, it was that saying again. 'He's not that bad.' No, Roxas, he's worse. "Do you pay attention to anything that Sora does?"
He winced. "I try really, really hard not to,"(6) he said, and a small 'Boom!' could be heard from far away. He winced again. "I have this really, really bad feeling that Sora's met up with Axel. I should probably go save them," he said thoughtfully.
I gave him what I hoped was my best skeptical look. I reckon it was pretty good. After all, I had majored in skeptical. Or, at least, I planned to . "Save who; Axel and Sora?"
Roxas snorted, already walking away. "Save Axel and Sora? Pfft, they'll be fine. Its everyone else that I'm worried about. They could set fire to the city without a moment's thought and then manage to pass it off as an accident if they really wanted to . Well, see ya, Zexion."
"Bye, Roxas." And good luck with that self-imposed mission of yours. This is one of those times I'd hate to be you. Hell, I'd hate to be anyone within a hundred mile radius of those two. Or three, when Roxas gets there. Good ol' peacekeeper, he is.
On my way back home, I didn't see any bums (and didn't imagine any in manholes, thank god), but I stood on a lot of stones. Which hurt. And I ate about a third of the marshmallows, just to spite Mom. And because I like marshmallows.
I approached the house and everything was silent inside (from the outside, anyway). So, naturally, I was kind of suspicious. Not that I'm paranoid at all, oh, no. I was just afraid something was gonna fly out the door and whack me in the face. Like Vincent and the guy in the jukebox. Heh. That was funny. (7)
Cautiously (and very slowly, might I add), I opened the door a bit. Nothing flew at me, and nothing landed on my head, so I decided to open it a bit further. After I realized that there were no traps in the immediate vicinity, I opened the door wide and walked right in.
Sitting cross-legged on the floor were the three of them, Mom in the middle with Dem and Riku on either side. They all had their eyes shut, didn't move, didn't do anything. This was weirder than anything else they could have been doing. "Guys... What're you doing? You're creeping me out..."
In a very calm, very serious tone of voice, Mom said, "We're meditating." (8)
There was a moment of silence. Then all three of them burst out laughing, rolling around on the ground. I rolled my eyes (but was slightly relieved - there was nothing wrong with them, after all), walked into the kitchen and put the bag of marshmallows on the counter, along with the change.
Once I snuck a few more marshmallows, I walked back into the lounge. Riku had left the room, probably to do 'homework'. Demyx was still laughing and Mom was standing, watching Dem roll around on the floor and laughing at him. I sighed exasperatedly. Why couldn't I have a normal family? I snorted at that. We at the Kael household just don't do normal.
Mom helped Demyx up once he had calmed down enough. "Right, you two. Off to your room, Mama's gotta do this next thing on her own. Chop chop!" She shooed us out of the room. Gee, thanks for leaving me alone with the reason my heart goes nut-nut at the sight of blond hair. Yeah, that'll do wonders for my current emotional state. NOT.
Demyx lead the way to my room, trying his hardest not to burst out laughed again. I know that, if he did, it would take a lot of effort to calm him down again. And, quite frankly, I couldn't be stuffed. So, if he suddenly did start laughed, he'd be on his own. Haha, Demyx. Haha.
My bedroom was right at the end of the hallway. It used to be Mom's, but she migrated into the lounge. Probably had something to do with the fact that she was slightly addicted to those late-night soaps on TV. Weirdo.
Demyx burst through the door, relishing in the tidy-ness of it. After all, you could barely see the floor in his room. Then again, it used to be the same case with me, until Mom stomped her foot down. I must say, I like it a hell of a lot better when it's tidy.
The blond instantly made a beeline for the piano that was pushed up against the wall. He motioned me over, probably to ask me to play something. I couldn't resist those eyes; they were like magnets! So much that if I, for some random reason, jumped, I would zoom over to where Demyx stood and whack my head against his. It would be very painful. And shameful. Can't forget shameful.
Sighing, I made my way over to where Demyx stood, sinking down into the piano stool. Damn those tomatoes. Damn them to hell. Why haven't they sued and made my cheeks live on the street as bums?
Because everything- hates me, yes I know. Thank you, voice. It was a rhetorical question and I didn't want an answer. Thus it being rhetorical. Also, I hate you.
"Can you play me 'Red'? That's my favourite one!" Demyx exclaimed. Funny, how Red was a song that I wrote for him. Not that he knows, of course. I think he'd have something close to a heart-attack if he knew the song was his. Then again, so would I.
So, I played, letting the music take over. It'd been so long since I played last; I was sure I'd forgotten. Obviously not. Red had no words, was purely instrumental. For a while I played for Demyx, and Demyx only, until Riku poked his head in and sat down next to Demyx. I subtly switched from Red to Black Wings, Riku's song. Neither of them noticed, thankfully.
I stopped playing at the end of the song before I lapsed into another one. It was nice to finally be playing again, but if I kept going then I would start to ignore the other two and Demyx would not be very happy with me. He would hate me for ever and ever and that would make me very sad.
Demyx smiled. "That was awesome!"
Riku nodded, approving. "Definitely was. Why don't you play anymore, Zexion? I'd love to hear you play more often, too." You know why, you retard. "Also, I thought you'd like to know that Saïx is back and Mom's having an emotional breakdown in the lounge."
I nodded, the words flying through one ear and straight out through the other. Then my eyes widened as the words finally registered.
Saïx, my nineteen-year-old brother whom I loved, hated and respected, who had been gone for a month, who always stole my munny then gave it back, was home. He who had left without a word, without a whisper, had just popped up. Just like that! Great timing, man. You just had to come back when my emotional instability was at its worst. Gee, thanks.
I stood up from the piano stool, raced out of my room, through the hallway and burst into the lounge. My blood ran colder than sub-zero frozen coke. I was... slightly screwed.
Let's analyze some new facts here. I was standing in the lounge. OK, great. Mom was lying on the ground, curled up in a ball with her head in her hands. Mhm, okay, not so great. Saïx was standing in the room for the first time in over a month. Wow, just wow. There was a gun aimed at my head by my aforementioned brother.
...Aw, fuck.
--VI-IX--
End Notes: Wheee! Teh end of teh first chapter of Every Bit Of Me! Was it any good? Hm? There was actually quite a bit of other stuff I had planned for this chapter, but then decided not to go with it. Also, I don't think the next chapters are going to be as long as this one was.
Please don't let me discontinue this one! I had a lot of fun writing this and know that I will definitely be attending the funeral if it dies :'(
Footnotes: (wow, there's heaps of them)
(1) I'm sorry, I just had to. Xemnas' band name comes from one of his most dramatic one-word-sentences in the game. It goes something like this: "If light and darkness are eternal, then we Nothings much be the same. Eternal." Hit single was suggested by Zume. It's another of his most dramatic one-word-sentences. It's just 'Indeed', though.
(2) This comes from a very memorable Integrated Studies lesson, when I was bored, and I made a sign of it. It's hanging up on my bedroom wall right now.
(3) This was something I thought to myself while I was walking down the street in my skinny jeans and denim jacket. I thought 'you know, someone might just think I'm emo...' and then caramelldansen came on, and I thought 'yeah, coz I'm real emo, listening to caramelldansen'. If you don't know what this song is, then I suggest you get out from underneath that rock you're under and listen to it. If that makes sense.
(4) Quote from Ansem Retorts. I thought it was funny, so I ninja'd off with it.
(5) Conversation between me and Zume-Chan
(6) 'Nother Ansem Retort quote.
(7) The jukebox! The JUKEBOX! So, I was playing Dirge Of Cerberus, a sequel game to FFVII, and I really needed some potions, coz I was dying. The shops there looked like jukeboxes. And so, I just randomly walked up to one AND THIS GUY JUMPED OUT OF IT AND PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE!! I was very put out by this fact. And so was Vincent. So he killed the guy.
(8) T'was a quote Zume-Chan gave me. Tankyuus veri mucho! :P
