This has nothing really to do with fairy tales, I was unsure as to where to put it. My Life as a Jar is a short essay that I wrote for school.
My Life as a Jar
By
Master Zombieness of the Wise
I currently am suffering great humiliation. I am being lick, not just licked, but licked with big nasty wet licks. You may ask why I am being licked. That is a long dull story. It started in a factory, where I was made along with many others like me. I was packaged up and sent to a store. Where I endured the indignity of being displayed. I was repeatedly picked up, poked, and nearly dropped. Unfortunately life is not the best when one is a jar. (But better than a door, especially when the door is ajar.)
After several long weeks of torture someone finally took pity on me, purchasing me. It became my duty to hold some strange water. A year peaceably passed. Then on some spur of the moment insanity I was sold. I had the horrible luck to become the jar that holds the Soup of Health. In addition to myself, there were two others who had to suffer the same. Alas! Alas! My owner had no pity, and I was ruthlessly tortured.
I had previously heard rumors of the Soup, of how it is devoured with relish by it's possessed maker. I am at a loss as to why any one would drink such a thing willingly. The Soup of Health tastes so healthy, for lack of a better word, that if I survive the experience of containing it, I will carry the scent always. But here I am being licked clean of the Soup. This experience has quite shocked me. For it never occurred to me that someone would like the Soup so much that they are willing to lick the jar clean of the disgusting substance. I hope in the future I will not have to suffer so.
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