The house was quiet, finally. All it had taken, to get the quiet, was staying up until three AM. Buffy sat alone on the couch. The lights were on around her. They'd found rooms for everyone – Willow, Xander, Giles, the girls, even Spike – so she wasn't keeping anyone up. Plus she didn't like the dark so much anymore.
When Spike walked in, she turned her head away but then turned it back, staring forward and not at him. She knew she wasn't being fair but the way he'd looked at her, in the basement, after they'd saved Xander … She wasn't being fair. Spike had told her he loved her, but she hadn't believed it until that night, the way he'd looked at her, the way he'd reached out to her before she'd startled away. And she saw how he'd looked after, that hurt look, the same one he was giving her now.
"Did anybody tell you about what happened around here tonight?" he asked.
"Willow did," she replied. "The First is back in the mix."
"It, uh, it talked to the little boy. Said it wasn't time for me yet." He turned to look as if seeking her approval. "I should move out. Leave town before it is time for me."
Her life would be so much easier if he left. "No, you have to stay."
"You've got another demon fighter now."
Another? Oh, he meant Wood. She couldn't talk about his feelings, not now. "This is going to be bad, worse than anyone else knows. I need all my fighters."
"Some of us are lovers, not fighters, pet. Well, no, I'm definitely a fighter."
"Best one I've got." He looked pleased at that.
"But, luv." He took her hand in his.
She pulled her hand away. "I don't want you, Spike. I don't love you. With what the First is doing to you, I'm not sure I can even trust you. But I do need you."
"Because I can fight?"
"Yes."
"And nothing more?"
"Nothing more," she whispered. "If you can't deal with that, then go."
"Right." He stood. Oh shit, he was leaving. Maybe that was for the best. Maybe he'd survive after the First had destroyed them all. "Night then."
She waited until the basement door closed behind him. "Night." It would have been easier if he'd left, but she needed all her fighters. It was good that he'd stayed. Maybe if she kept telling herself that, she'd believe it.
