A/N: I hope you enjoy this bit of writing. It's my first attempt at such at thing. It's not as dark or morose as the title implies but there is some sadness to overcome.

I want to thank my betas twilight(dot)equals(dot)love and Crimson White who have been awesome in helping me get this story up and running. Their advice and encouragement has polished the edges of this piece.

Disclaimer: All Twilight characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer and I'm just playing with them.

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A Journey Through Darkness

Chapter 1

Dearest Bella,

Thank you again for all your help and strength during our wedding. I don't know if I could have gotten through it without you. (But if you ever slap me again, I will take you down!)

We just got back from our honeymoon this weekend and had a fabulous time. You must go to Venice when you get the chance. It is the epitome of romance, especially riding the gondolas at night!

I also wanted to let you know that you had an admirer at the wedding!

We just got back the photos from the photographer and when I showed them to a volunteer here he pointed to your picture and wanted to know about you. He said that your style, grace and beauty captivated him and that you were definitely his type. He looked heartbroken when I told him you were married.

You are such a beautiful women Bella and I miss you so much. Tell the family I say hello.

Kisses,

Alice

As I reread the email again, I could feel my blush starting to subside. It was nice to be told that I was beautiful or pretty; but, it was unexpected and quite surprising that it was a complete stranger who thought so.

I was used to my husband always telling me I was beautiful; but, he loved me and so I always felt he was talking my about my "inner" beauty. He insisted otherwise but I knew his love overlooked my flaws.

I read the email one more time, smiling to myself, knowing this would boost my ego for the week if not for the month.

I laughed out loud at the words style and grace. If this stranger had only known how nervous I was at Alice's wedding, he wouldn't have thought me to be graceful. As Alice's matron of honor, I was guaranteed to be stylish as long as I followed her instructions implicitly, which I did of course. However; I was petrified that I was going to trip and fall as I made my way down the aisle. I dreaded the thought of drawing the attention away from Alice on her big day. It was quite possible and more than likely that such a thing would happen. I had practiced for hours the week before in the deathtraps that were supposedly heels. Even after much protest Alice insisted I wear them. I even put a book on my head to work on my posture. I gave up that idea when I tripped over the book after it fell off my head. Screw posture, just work on staying vertical I told myself.

At the wedding, I only stumbled once and that was when I was leaving the church. Thankfully for all involved, I was holding my assigned groomsman's arm so I did not fall on my face or anyone else for that matter. Alice had shot me a look as I stumbled and I knew that she had been silently praying that I would manage to stay upright for another twenty seconds.

It was a beautiful wedding, even if I did have to slap Alice once, lightly mind you, when she had a breakdown after the wrong boutonnieres arrived that morning.

It was held in an old Victorian manor on a cool Saturday in October in a small town outside of Seattle, Washington. I remember standing up beside Alice and her soon to be husband, Jasper as they pledged their infinite love to each other. In that sacred moment, they were so in love with one another that you could feel it radiating off their bodies, sending waves of unconditional devotion to those around them.

As they recited their vows to one another, I angled my body so I could look out at everyone in attendance. I scanned the faces looking for his. As soon as I saw him seated on Alice's side of the church, we made eye contact and knowingly smiled at one another. I relaxed instantly as I always did when he smiled at me.

I also knew we were both thinking back to the day when we had promised ourselves to each other and put on the golden bands symbolizing our love. We had reminisced about that day as we made the four hour drive though the curvy roads of the Olympic Peninsula for Alice and Jasper's wedding.

We had married the summer between our junior and senior year of college, which is where we met. It was a small ceremony on the beach near his hometown. Our family and friends encircled us, each holding hands, not breaking the connection, as we were wed. We had celebrated afterward on the beach with a cookout and fish fry. Being college students, and not wanting to burden our families, we couldn't afford anything elaborate however our wedding was perfect in every way.

Just as I finished replying to Alice's email, I felt two strong arms wrap around my shoulders. His warm breath tickled the side of my neck sending goose bumps down my arms. I smiled, knowing he was reading over my shoulder.

"See Bella, I always told you were beautiful. Now you have confirmation from an independent source. Of course, now I have to go kill him for ogling my wife- but still, you got your confirmation."

I placed my hands over top of his arms running my fingers over his tan skin. "Oh, Jacob! Isn't it illegal to read others people's mail," I said teasingly, pretending to be offended.

"No sweetheart, I think that's just mail you get from the post office not email. Plus, you would have told me about it anyway," he said in his defense.

"I know; but, now you're going to think you're right… again. " I confessed.

"Well, I am always right and this just proves it once again," he said giving me a quick peck on the cheek as he released me and stood up.

"Humph! You're not always right," I muttered indignantly.

Jacob turned my desk chair around so I was facing him. He leaned over me with a mischievous grin on his face. I smiled in anticipation.

"I was right after our first date when I said you would marry me one day," he reminded me.

His hands grasped the back of the chair, just above my shoulders, and slowly tilted the office chair so I was leaning back. I held on to the arms of the chair for support. He leaned in as the chair moved back.

"But you were wrong that we would get married in Seattle," I reminded him.

"Details, Bella. I was right again on our second date when I said we would have beautiful babies' together," his nose touched mine and gave it a little nuzzle.

"Ah, but you said we would have three children."

He just rolled his eyes at me, "And I was right yet again when I said I would love you for the rest of my life," then he placed a soft kiss on my lips followed by another, each additional kiss growing in intensity until his tongue ventured out searching for its companion. I was unable to respond to his statement.

I complied with my own and moaned into his mouth. I placed my hands on his upper arms running them along his tight muscles. I loved this particular part of his body; the part where one muscle overlapped the next causing a cascade of flesh. He knew it too, so he flexed the muscles slightly. I smiled into his mouth before I pulled back.

"Jake, you're just being cocky." I told him while still kissing him.

"You like my cock…iness. Plus, I'm not being cocky. I'm just confident."

I knew what to expect when he started to be crude and I also knew it would end too soon. The patters of little feet were making their way up the stairs. Jacob hadn't heard them yet but he was soon forced to end that line of thought as a pint size body crashed into Jake's legs wrapping its arms around them. Jacob righted my chair before picking up our oldest, Win, and cradling her like a baby and giving her kissing on her belly.

"Stop daddy I'm not a baby and it tickles," she said as she wiggled and laughed in his arms.

"I take it you're back from Pip and Grandma's. Did you have a good time at the beach?" I said as I rose from my seat, kissing her forehead.

"Oh yes! We went fishing and I found lots of pretty rocks to add to my garden."

Win was 6 years old and had many of Jacob's features but my fair complexion. Jacob had suggested we name her Winter since she was as white as new snow when she was born. We only ever called her Win because I thought Winter was a little too hippy dippy for an everyday name.

As she had grown she had taken on Jacob's darker tones; but, still kept my wavy, brown hair and not his black mane. She complained about it and wished she could match her aunts' long, straight hair.

I met his eyes, he winked. I sighed, knowing our moment had passed and we would have to wait until the kids were in bed to continue our conversation.

"That's great sweetie. Let's go find Seth and then we can take a walk to your garden and 'plant' your rocks," Jacob said as he carried her out of the room as I followed and toward the voices on the back porch.

Seth, named after one of Jacob's childhood friends, was sprawled out on Billy's lap, fast asleep. Grandma Sue joined Jacob and Win on their trip to the garden at the back of the house- a garden that didn't grow much else besides rocks.

"He fell asleep on the ride back. I know he's exhausted from the day spent out by the water," Pip, as our children called him, whispered to me as he held our sleeping 4 year old in his lap.

Seth was again a combination of the two of us yet neither of us. At certain angles he would be the spitting image of Jacob and then if he would turn his head slightly you would see my expression or feature displayed on his face. It always amazed me that we could have created two things that were so perfectly beautiful. Jacob always laughed and said that with such a beautiful mother the kids couldn't have turned out bad, but deep down I knew that sometimes he had to take a step back and be amazed as well.

"Thank you again for taking them today. I know they enjoyed it and it gave us some time to catch up on things around house," I told him quietly.

We watched as Jake dug a small hole in the dirt for Win to plant her rock. Win kept changing her mind where she wanted it so he would have to dig another hole someplace else.

"How did the doctor's appointment go this morning?" Billy asked conversationally, drawing my attention away from Jake and Win.

I knew he was more worried than he let on, but he tended to be a worrier so I tried to calm his fears, "It was fine. The doctor said it's something we should keep an eye on but if Jake continues to feel tired or run down then we should come back in and they'll do some additional labs and tests."

I waved to Win, wondering how she had managed to get her legs covered in dirt when Jake had done most of the digging. She was beaming as she used her watering can to soak the rock. As he knelt down beside her, Jake softly rubbed his hand up and down her back as they quietly discussed what her rock might one day grow.

Billy interrupted my eaves dropping, "Don't you think they should do more now? It's been a month that he's felt this way. I've never seen him look so tired."

"I know, Billy but it took me two weeks of pestering just to get him to agree to see the doctor. He never admits it when he's not feeling well and he hates this kind of attention. Plus there's so much stuff going around now. I'm sure he's just gotten a bug that won't go away." I gave him a smile and patted his arm.

As I made my way down the steps of the porch, I turned back to Billy, "I'll let you know if something changes or if I need your help dragging him to doctor's again, okay?" He sighed and nodded his head, looking down at Seth, softly brushing the hair out of his eyes.

I walk across our small yard to admire Win's rock and hear of her dreams for the newest addition to her garden.

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A/N: Hope you enjoyed this. Chapter 2 - 4 are written so they should be up soon. Reviews would be helpful and greatly appreciated!