A/N: So, this is something that's been in a notebook for awhile. I've typed it up, revised the entire premise at least twice, and gone through this with a red pen at least five times. I make no promises, because I've got to get this done before I start my vacation. (I leave Saturday).
(BB - Betty Braithwaite)
(LV - Lord Voldemort)
(HP - Harry Potter)
Interview:
June 17 1997 - Reporting Office of Senior Reporter Betty Braithwaite:
Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort
BB: So Voldy, what's it like to find out your supposed enemy is your grandson?
LV: 1. Don't call me that. 2. How did you find that out?
BB: It was in the Politics section of the Daily Prophet.
HP: Who writes it?
BB: Davey Gudgeon of course! Couldn't think of a finer Gryffindor, though it is too bad that he lost mobility in his right arm, though he still uses that wonderful Quick Quotes Quill! In any case, we've been trying to get an interview with you two for weeks, Rita was convinced she'd get the article for the Blablabla section, but here you are in the International section! So, Harry, Voldemort, what is it like to be in your spot right now?
LV: Well, I certainly had no idea I had a grandson. Harry's mum - my daughter - was kidnapped when she was a baby and placed in a muggle household. I feel terrible for what I've done, I had no idea my daughter had been adopted by the Evans. Now I have to cope with the fact that I killed my daughter, her husband, and attempted to kill my grandson.
BB: And how about you, Harry? How are you taking this news?
HP: I've read my parents wills. My mum found out who she really was when she was pregnant with me. She never told anyone other than Severus Snape and I.
BB: So, how are you taking it as the Chosen One?
HP: If you think about it, I can't be the Chosen One. In the prophecy, it says, "born to those who have trice defied him," but unless Dumbledore is the Dark Lord, I can't be the Chosen One. So, after all, the Chosen One is Neville Longbottom.
BB: And what is Mr. Longbottom's opinion on all of this?
HP: From what he's said, he has no inclination to try to defeat my grandfather. He's taken the road to neutrality along with his muggleborn girlfriend Nellie Stone.
BB: So what will happen to the Wizarding World since Dumbledore has been locked away in Azkaban?
HP: My grandfather plans to disband the Death Eaters since he's regained his sanity, and will turn in Death Eaters such as Peter Pettigrew, Bellatrix Lestrange, Rodolphus Lestrange and Fenrir Greyback, in exchange for the compensation of others. (for a complete list of those who will be compensated and those who will be turned in, see the after interview notes - Section 1)
BB: What will you do once that business is over?
LV: Because Harry is descended from James Potter, he is a descendent of Helga Hufflepuff, and I am the heir of Slytherin. We own half of Hogwarts, and the Gryffindor Heiress has given us full control on the remodeling of Hogwarts.
BB: And who is the Gryffindor Heiress?
HP: Alicia Spinnet. You know her as Alicia Weasley, Fred Weasley's wife. Also, the Grey Lady - Helena Ravenclaw herself - only wants Hogwarts to be returned to her former glory, as a tribute to her mother - Rowena Ravenclaw.
BB: I'm certain none of us knew the Grey Lady was Helena, or we'd have certainly been kinder to her. {I invite you to make a donation to the Ravenclaw Diadem Recovery Foundation}
HP: And from what I've heard Alicia didn't know either.
BB: Now, what are your plans for the school?
LV: We have chosen a new list of required classes, updates, staff, and specialty courses.. (For a full list of Hogwarts revisions, see the after interview notes - Section 2)
After Interview Notes - Section 1
-Those Pardoned:-
Lucius Malfoy - Politics Professor
Narcissa Malfoy - Dark Magic Professor
Mekera Tshinyalani - Xylomancy and Tessomancy Professor
Draco Malfoy - Potions Apprentice
Blaise Zabini - Arithmancy Apprentice
Astoria Greengrass II - Mental Magic Professor
Regulus Black II - Transfiguration Professor
Pansy Parkinson - Astronomy Apprentice
Severus Snape - Potions Professor
Fabien Prewett II - Healing Magic Assistant
-Those Condemned:-
Bellatrix Lestrange - Torture, Breakout and Murder
Barty Crouch Jr. - Torture and Breakout
Thorfinn Rowle - Torture and Vandalism
A. Dolohov - Torture, Breakout, Murder and Vandalism
Rodolphus Lestrange - Torture, Breakout, Murder and Vandalism
Rabastan Lestrange - Torture, Breakout, Murder and Vandalism
Peter Pettigrew - Murder and Vandalism
V. Scabior - Torture, Breakout, Murder, Rape
Theodore Nott I - Torture, Breakout, Murder and Vandalism
Theodore Nott II - Murder and Vandalism
C. Avery I - Torture, Breakout, Murder and Vandalism
C. Avery II - Torture, Murder, and Vandalism
Fenrir Greyback - Torture, Murder, Breakout and Vandalism
Delores Umbridge - Torture, Murder
H. Parkinson - Torture and Murder
Astoria Greengrass I - Torture and Vandalism
Daphne Greengrass - Vandalism
Adrian Greengrass - Torture, Breakout and Murder
After Interview Notes - Section 2
(A/N: You can find the link on my profile, this section has bullet points)
A/N: Yep, you guessed it. I didn't get it done. (Sigh) But I will have this finished by the time I leave for my stepsister's birthday party. I swear, I'm going to get this thing done by then!
