Kevin sat at the table in the library, looking at the pages of a book but not really reading it. This wasn't how he imagined his life would turn out. He was supposed to go to college, be successful, not sit in an old bunker trying to decipher ancient texts. He had planned on settling down, getting married, and having a family. Now the closest he had to a family were two dysfunctional brothers and a confused ex-angel. Dean always said "family don't end with blood," which was apparently said by another hunter that Kevin never got the chance to meet.
Kevin had the hardest time thinking of Sam as family. The younger Winchester was a mentor to Kevin, he looked up to him and admired him but he couldn't think of him as a brother. His relationship with Dean was what he assumed brotherly relationships were like. Dean teased him and annoyed the hell out of him a lot of the time, but at the end of the day, they still loved each other. But Sam was different.
When Sam was in the room, Kevin couldn't concentrate. He was always too distracted by the way Sam moved, the way his brow furrowed when he was really concentrating. When he found something and Sam read over his shoulder, he always felt like he couldn't breathe. His heart skipped a beat when the hunter smiled at him and his skin tingled wherever they touched. Kevin knew it was crazy to feel this way, but he didn't have control over his body's reactions to Sam.
"Hey, Kevin," a familiar voice called, causing Kevin to jump. He turned to see Sam striding towards him, hair still wet from his shower.
"Uh, H…hey, Sam," He stuttered, trying not to focus on the way Sam's shirt stretched across his shoulders. "What's up?"
"Oh, nothing," Sam sighed. "I just thought I'd come see if there was anything I could help you with. What are you working on?" He sat down at the corner of the table so he could look at the book Kevin was pretending to read.
"I'm still trying to find a way to get the angels back where they belong, but so far, nothing," Kevin replied, avoiding Sam's eyes. "I've been stuck for weeks."
"Why don't you take a break? Clear your mind?" Sam asked. "Then maybe when you come back you'll be more focused. It helped me when I was in college."
Kevin shook his head. "I can't do that," he answered. "I need to get this done as soon as possible, there's no time for breaks."
"You look like you need one, though. When was the last time you slept? Or ate?" Kevin looked up at Sam then. Sam looked like he was actually concerned, and now that he brought it up, the prophet couldn't remember the last time he ate.
"Uh… I slept a few hours ago. I… I don't remember when I ate last," Kevin admitted.
"Alright," Sam stood up and put a hand on Kevin's shoulder, "wait here," he commanded before leaving the room.
"Yeah, okay," Kevin mumbled when Sam was gone. He could still feel where the hunter's hand had rested on his shoulder. "This is so stupid," he thought. "Sam probably thinks of me as a little brother or some kid that he has to babysit. And I just sit across from him wishing he wanted something more." He tried to go back to reading his book, but all he could focus on was Sam. "Even if Sam was gay, there's no way he'd like me like that. This is so dumb."
Kevin's thoughts were interrupted by Sam coming back into the room, carrying two mugs of coffee, a banana, and a bagel. "Here you go, this coffee is yours," Sam handed him a mug with snowflakes on it. "Milk and sugar, just how you like it. I toasted your bagel, so if you want it warm, you might want to eat that first," he told Kevin as he sat back down.
"Thanks, Sam," Kevin smiled bashfully. "Sometimes I just forget to eat."
"No problem," Sam laughed. "Is there anything I can do?"
Kevin nodded, picking up the book beside him and handing it to Sam. He wanted to explain but his mouth was full of bagel. Chewing always seems to take longer when you want to talk. "Yeah," He said as he swallowed the bite of bagel. "This book says something about passages to heaven, so if you want to look through it, you can."
"Yeah, sure," Sam responded, taking the book and flipping it open. Kevin was staring at Sam while he ate his bagel. Sam would look up and Kevin would quickly pretend to be reading.
"Okay, Kevin, focus. Actually read this time," he thought, scanning the page to find the spot where he'd stopped reading. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sam's hand reach for his coffee mug. He instantly wondered what it'd be like to be touched, really touched, by those hands and what it'd be like to hold them. Kevin felt heat rush into his cheeks. He ventured a look at the hunter to see hazel eyes watching him and pink lips curled into a smile. "What?" Kevin asked. "Do I have something on my face?" His hand went to his mouth, trying to see if there were any crumbs or anything around it.
"No, no. It's nothing," Sam shrugged, flipping the page of his book. Kevin didn't take his eyes off of the hunter. Sam looked up at him again. "I have to tell you something, Kevin."
"Okay…" Kevin replied. "What is it?"
"Well, you know how Dean always says that we're family?" Sam paused, waiting for Kevin to nod. "I don't want you to be family..." Kevin looked hurt. He knew it. All Sam saw was some dumb kid, someone that they needed, but not someone he wanted to be around. "Because I do love you, but not in the family kind of way," Sam continued. "I'm in love with you." Kevin could feel his cheeks getting warm again. Did Sam say what he thought he said? He just stared at Sam for a while, speechless. "So?" Sam prompted.
"I never thought you'd say that, but I've wanted you to for a long time," Kevin grinned. "I love you, too, Sam. I thought you thought I was just some dumb kid…"
"No way," Sam interrupted. "You're one of the smartest people I know, and you're definitely not a kid." He got out of his chair and leaned over, laying a sweet kiss on the prophet's lips. He smiled as he pulled away and Kevin grabbed him by the back of his neck, pulling him closer. He kissed Sam again; he could taste the coffee on his lips. This was not the way Kevin thought the day would go. It was better.
