You dismiss all officers as you enter the brig of your ship. You've come her many times since that day. Sometimes you just watch her, sometimes you hurt her.
She looks up and you make eye contact for only a split second. Then she tries to cover up the parts of her body that you've know and loved for the past years. You close your eyes and remember how her skin felt so soft under your touch, how beautiful she looked.

You place a kiss on that special place on her neck, right under her ear.
Your kisses make a trail slowly down her body, worshiping every inch of her glorious form.
She encourages you by breathing heavier and tangling her fingers in your hair.
You place a soft kiss on her stomach. She sighs and whispers barely audible
"I love you…"

You shake you're head to clear your mind. That life was never real, she was never real.
It's the gods mocking you for what you never had, and will never have.
You look into the cell and see her sitting infront of you, staring at your feet through the glass.
When you see her sitting like that, you want to hurt her for mocking you like that, you want to hate her for making you feel as if you ever had a fighting chance for love, safety.
Because your mind knows, that your chance of happiness died that day, the day they took your sister away from you. Those frakking cylons took her from you as they did your mother and father.

And now the only thing that you have ever loved in your life, turns out to be a cylon…
Your life seems one big cosmological joke.
Yet, when your eyes meet hers, you can't deny that you might have loved her once.
So you beat her, you watch as her body collapses on the floor of her cell when you hit her in the abdomen.
You take out all that frustration and you beat her, until her skin is bruised and bleeding. But still it isn't enough, it doesn't convince you yet that she has never really loved you.
That she was only programmed to do so, that she never really saw you.

Her voice is tiny and crooked when she pleads for your mercy.
That voice, that used to whisper sweet words to you in your sleep, when you were haunted with the nightmares.
'Helena please…' she lies shivering on the floor.
"Tell me you were never real, tell me that they've programmed you…. TELL ME" You smack her hard across the face and her nose starts to bleed.
You try to hide your feelings of desperation, but you know that she knows how you feel inside.
She could always read you so easy.
She gasps for air as her blood drips on the floor of the cell.
"I…. loved you" she whispers silently.

You snap, thats it, you've had enough torture from her.
You pull her off the floor and fold your hands around her throat.
It must end now, no more will the memory of her haunt you every night, her face mocking your existence and her eyes reminding you of the life you will never have.
You see her struggle for air as your grasps tightens.

"When the ship docs in the Scoripa fleetyard, I want you to come Tauron with me. I want my family and friends to meet my future wife" Your eyes sparkle, you are happy. You watch her as she almost chokes on a sip of her red wine.
"Your what?...." her face is priceless.
"Gina Inviere, I would like you to be my wife."

Tears spring to your eyes and you let her go. Her body falling back slamming hard against the floor.
You turn and march for the door, swiping your security card to open the cell.
Behind you, you hear her cough and struggle for air.
The cell closes behind you and you march out of the brig, not looking back.

When you come back the next day, her neck is blue with bruises, shes crying.