This is the first of my season 6 fics, and isn't actually a reaction fic. More of a preaction fic
Title: Open
Rating: T
Warnings: Kinda spoilers for season 6 of glee (I'll explain the kinda in my note)? mentions of suicide, depression, underage drinking
Prompt: BPOTD 967: Based on season 6 spoilers. After Kurt breaks up with Blaine, he goes home to Lima only to find his parents won't talk to him and none of his friends will talk to him either. He starts sneaking into Scandals and getting drunk, Karofsky starts talking to Blaine one night and he admits he wants to kill himself. Cue Karofsky trying to be a friend to him and attempt to talk to Kurt about what Blaine told him. Please no Blainofsky romantic relationship.
Fic Summary: Their fight in 5.20 isn't resolved and Kurt breaks off their engagement. Devastated, Blaine returns to Lima for the summer, hoping to find comfort in his friends. Instead, he finds it in a most unlikely source.
Characters/Relationships: Blaine, Karofsky, Kurt, June, OC; Karofsky/OC, Blainofsky friendship
Note: Like I explained to the anon who prompted me this, I don't read spoilers. The only spoilers I've seen are from scrolling past posts. So I don't know if this counts so much as spoilers/speculation as it is more of a future AU type thing.
At first, he thought it was because no one else was home yet. It made sense; for some reason, NYADA finished earlier in May than most other schools did. Plus, some people like Rachel and Santana (and Kurt, his brain added unhelpfully, increasing the hurt he was feeling) had basically moved out of Lima full time.
But then he saw a post on Facebook about a New Directions reunion when Mercedes ended up performing at a mall in Columbus. Not even Sam had called him to tell him about it. Sam hadn't really called him at all, come to think of it.
So maybe he had lied to Kurt about June's showcase. And maybe he'd been withholding sex in favor of porn and his right hand. But he hadn't done any of that to hurt Kurt - and he had explained it and thought Kurtunderstood. And his friends had to understand that, right?
Kurt.
God, it hurt to even think his name.
Sometimes Blaine would look down to his right hand and see the ring that he had spent countless hours choosing. The same ring that Kurt had cherished for almost a whole year. The same ring that Kurt had thrown back at him in his bedroom at Mercedes' place in New York.
The shrill ring of his cell phone woke him. He'd been back in Lima for three weeks and this was the first time anyone had decided to make use of it. Blaine didn't even look at the screen before accepting the call and cradling the phone to his ear.
"Hello?"
"Where are you?"
"June?"
"Yes, of course it's me. Now, where are you? I told you to stay close and free this summer. Yet I just stopped by your apartment to be told, quite rudely I'd like to add, that you're not living there anymore?"
"I'm back home for the summer."
"Why would you do that after all the hard work and time I've put into establishing your career in New York?"
"I just wanted to get away for a while -"
"Blaine, this agreement we have, it's only going to work if we both are dedicated to it."
"It's just - Kurt broke up with me."
"Well, I told you that you don't need him dragging you down. Now, I need you back in the city in two weeks. I've got a performance lined up for you. Prime opportunity, lots of big names are going to be there."
"I can't just fly to New York -"
"Why not? You had no problems 'just' flying to Lima without telling me."
"I have -" What, his brain supplied, a life here? No you don't. Friends? They don't want to see you after what you did to Kurt. "I have to ask my parents," Blaine finished lamely.
"I'll see you on the 22nd."
Blaine hadn't sung, hadn't danced, hadn't moved really since coming home. And he really couldn't afford to lose June's support, not if he wanted to prove to Kurt that he could - well, that he could be worth something to someone.
He saw the event shared in his newsfeed and was pressing the "attending" button before he even really thought about it. It would be a good opportunity to try out his rep, though.
He showed up on Thursday night wearing dark pants and a grey and teal striped polo. No bowtie. Not tonight. The neon letters blinked lazily, as if they knew that the "Scandals" they promised were nothing special.
Open Mic night. This was something he loved, right? Performing? Maybe if he did a good job, someone would value him as something more than a source of revenue. Maybe someone would notice him again. Maybe someone would listen.
When Blaine's name was called, he walked blindly to the stage. He handed the accompanist his sheet music and allowed the music to absorb him as he began belting out the notes. The Broadway tune was familiar, but it didn't seem to really catch the attention of the audience at Scandals. God, if he couldn't even impress a crowd of men in a scummy Ohio gay bar, how was he doing to make a name of himself in New York?
A change of pace was a breath of fresh air as he began the softer second song of his set. A few more eyes seemed to look up, and he had the attention of at least two or three men. Not bad.
By the end of Blaine's third and final song, an upbeat pop number, he could feel the energy in the bar had changed. He could feel the excitement around him, yet it couldn't quite seem to penetrate his thick skin.
He took a seat at the bar during the next act, a well-intentioned but off-key duo. The bartender considered him for a moment before sliding a glass in front of him.
"It's on the house," he said quietly. "You look like you could use a pick-me-up."
Blaine smiled weakly and brought the glass to his lips. He immediately recognized the spiced bite of Captain Morgan mixed in with the Coke. It warmed his esophagus as it traveled down to his stomach. His smile grew as the alcohol began to take effect and clouded his brain. He could almost convince himself that the warmth that he was feeling was because Kurt loved him.
Almost.
"Hi Kurt, it's me. Blaine. I know you said you didn't want to talk to me for a while when you - y'know, and I respect that. I came home to give you your space and everything. But, well, I'm gonna be in New York this weekend. So - just - please, don't - don't ignore me, like last time. I just need to know what's going on. If it's really all over, you never have to talk to me again, but please - don't leave me hanging again. Let me buy you a coffee and please, just talk to me."
"You sounded a little rusty on "If You Can Find Me, I'm Here"," June said from her seat in the empty hall before the stage Blaine would be singing on in just a few hours.
"I haven't had much luck with my Broadway rep lately, so I've been singing more pop," Blaine explained. Since his first trip to Scandals' open mic night, he'd gone twice more, and each time he'd been even more popular.
"What does that mean?" she asked, eyes narrowing. "You haven't been performing without my knowing, have you?"
"Not really," Blaine admitted. "I've just been going to an open mic night at a place near my house. I don't really have any other good places to practice."
"Blaine, the only way that this will work out is if you're honest with me and you do as I say. You're already on thin ice as it is, what with running away to Ohio for the summer. Now, I can't call this an exclusive performance if you're giving it to backwards idiots in Ohio every other day. Remember, you and your voice are a commodity that is not to be traded lightly."
"Yes, I'm sorry," Blaine said to the floor.
Blaine was in the middle of "She Cries" when a movement at the back of the room caught his eye. Waiters had been milling through the tables all night, yet this one caught his eye and almost caused him to lose his place in the music. Blaine recovered, but kept a close watch on the figure that was walking towards the door to the kitchen. Blaine caught just a small glimpse of his face in the light from the kitchen door, but it was enough.
Kurt.
During his short intermission, Blaine pulled June into a corner.
"Kurt's here," he said.
"Here? I doubt that. This is a very exclusive event."
"No, I mean he's working here. He must have gotten another job for the summer to help out with rent."
"I hardly see why this matters."
"Please, June, let me call him up for just one song. You didn't give him enough of a chance before."
"I thought he broke up with you?"
"Yes, but this - if I could give him the chance to perform for these men and women, he'd have to at least talk to me!"
"No, Blaine. I organized this evening for you."
Blaine hung back as the men and women slowly left the hall. Some came up to talk to him and congratulate him, winking at him before talking with June. He didn't care about them, though. He was too busy watching the kitchen doors.
Finally, when the place was almost empty, Kurt stepped out, his sleeves rolled up and apron slung over his shoulder.
"Kurt!" he called, running across the room.
Kurt looked in surprise for a moment before looking away and rolling his eyes. "I have nothing to say to you, Blaine."
"Please, Kurt, just talk to me."
"Talk to you? About what? About how you betrayed me for this woman, so she could parade you around like some prized pony?"
"Kurt, I did this for us. I did everything in my power to get June to just listen to you - even tonight!"
"Save it, Blaine. I can't deal with this anymore. Every time I think I can trust you, you go ahead and shatter everything I thought I knew about you. I can't take it anymore. Please, just leave me alone."
Blaine kept going to Scandals open mic nights, even if he wasn't allowed to perform any more. He had hoped that simply sitting in the presence of music might loosen the knot in his chest, but nothing seemed to work. Nothing but the alcohol that he desperately gulped down every chance he could.
"I'm surprised you're not on that stage," a soft but familiar voice said from behind him.
It had been two weeks since his return from New York and the void of friends and music had nearly hollowed out his chest.
Blaine turned his head slowly, disbelieving that anyone would want to talk to him or notice him for anything other than his voice.
"Karofsky?" he gasped, shocked to see the older boy.
"I know, right? No one thought I'd ever come back to Lima after everything that happened. But my sister's getting married, so I came back for a few weeks to help my family and everything."
"How have you been?" Blaine asked, momentarily forgetting everything else. Forgetting that he should hate this man despite everything else.
"It was rough at first. But I got a scholarship to Ohio State and I've met some really great people there."
It was his smile - more of a grin, really - that gave him away.
"Boyfriend?" Blaine guessed.
"Yeah. He's a junior communications major. He's - he's perfect."
"I'm really glad for you, David," Blaine said, and he was surprised to realize that he meant it.
"Well, what about you? I heard about your big proposal last spring. When's the big day?"
Blaine's face fell immediately. "We - um, we broke up."
"What? No way!" Kurt, he was head over heels for you!"
"Yeah. He was. He hates me now. And I just - I don't know what to do. I mean, everyone at NYADA worshipped the ground he walked on and I was just his stupid high school boyfriend. I was just annoying him constantly and when I tried to show him that I could be special too, he got mad at me for taking everything away from him! I don't even know what I did!"
Blaine was nearly hysterical, and Karofsky had no idea what to do. At that moment, a slim figure appeared at his side, looking even more concerned.
"Dave, what happened? Who is this?"
"He's - well, I knew him in high school. I don't know what happened though. I mean, his fiance broke up with him a while ago, and he was just telling me about it-"
"Oh Dave, sometimes you're completely useless," his boyfriend said fondly. "What's his name?"
"Blaine."
"Hey Blaine?" the boy said, lifting Blaine's chin. "My name's Tony, I'm Dave's boyfriend. Do you want to get out of here, go someplace quieter so you can tell us what's going on?"
Blaine barely nodded, but let himself be guided out of the bar. Dave fished Blaine's keys out and passed his own to Tony. "You take him to my place in my car, and I'll follow with his, okay?"
Tony pressed a mug of coffee into Blaine's shaking hands. He'd stopped crying a few minutes ago, but was still hiccoughing slightly every few seconds.
"I'm sorry," Blaine whispered."
"It's no problem. Everyone has a breakdown after a break-up."
"It's just -" Blaine began, as if he hadn't heard a word Tony had spoken. "I've messed everything up for him. He could have had a better boyfriend and stayed in the Apples and June would have probably chosen him, but I was there and God, what's wrong with me?"
"Nothing's wrong with you."
"Why can't I do anything right? I did everything for him and it still wasn't enough!"
"Maybe, right now, this is best then. Stop doing everything for him or for other people and do what you want instead."
Do what you want instead.
The words echoed in Blaine's head as he found himself in the Scandals parking lot for the third time in as many days.
Maybe Tony had been right. The only problem was, he didn't know what he wanted. He couldn't sing because June controlled that. But he liked being at Scandals. He liked the warmth from the alcohol, the warmth that he couldn't find anywhere else anymore. He liked that no one there was going to tell him that anything was his fault.
"Hey Blaine, the usual?" Alex, the bartender, had become quite familiar with Blaine over the past week in particular. Blaine had barely left Scandals since his talk with Dave and Tony.
"I think I'll start with a shot of Fireball tonight," Blaine said. That would really help. He'd get extra warm from the cinnamon and the clouds would take over his head faster. Everything was better when there were clouds because then he didn't have to think about had much he had ruined everything for Kurt. It would almost be better if he just weren't here anymore.
Immediately after downing the first shot, Blaine took the glass - a double Captain and Coke, short - and went out to the dance floor.
Blaine woke up blearily one morning about a week later. Nothing was unusual about that; he's been drunk and hungover more often than not in the past few weeks. When he was finished dressing, he looked at the calendar and saw the date: yet another month had passed since Kurt had broken off the engagement.
"Well, it's five o'clock somewhere," Blaine said to himself as he grabbed his keys and headed to his car. He'd stop at the Lima Bean for a coffee and midafternoon sandwich before getting to Scandals.
Dave and Tony were celebrating one of their last free nights in Lima before his sister's wedding by going out to Scandals again.
"You take the coats over to that table," Tony instructed when they entered the bar and noticed how crowded it was. "I'll get the first round."
Dave grinned and bit his lip. He waited until Tony had turned his back to let the grin grow and really cover his entire face. He felt like a 13-year-old girl around his boyfriend sometimes and that wasn't always the face he wanted other people to see.
Tony walked up to an open space at the bar and waited for one of the bartenders to notice him. It took him a minute to recognize the boy seated next to him, and not just because their last and only meeting had been brief. In the two weeks since they had met, Blaine seemed to have fallen apart completely. His face was gaunt, his clothes messy, and Tony could tell with only a glance that Blaine was wasted.
"Blaine?"
The boy turned his head. His blank eyes scared Tony a bit at first, but then he plastered on a smile and the eyes only grew hollower. "Dave boyfriend!" he exclaimed loudly, false joy in his voice.
"It's Tony."
"Right. I was Tony once. Another thing I ruined for Kurt."
The bartender walked over then, and Blaine ordered three shots of Fireball and an Angry Orchard. When Tony raised his eyebrows, Blaine explained that they were to share, but if he and Dave didn't want them, Blaine would gladly drink them all himself. When the bartender's eyes shifted over to Tony, he simply ordered an MGD and a Corona Light.
Tony, Blaine, and all the drinks bustled through the crowds until they found Dave at the table with the coats. He looked surprised for a moment before really looking at Blaine and becoming much more concerned.
"Karo - Karfo - Kalor - Dave," Blaine slurred, unable to pronounce the older boy's name.
"What's wrong with him?" Dave whispered to his boyfriend. Tony merely shrugged.
The two watched Blaine closely for most of the night, offering to get him drinks so that they could sober him up with plain Coke rather than the spiked drinks he preferred. Blaine was so gone that he didn't even notice. Once they were kicked out of the bar at last call, Tony and Dave supported a stumbling Blaine to the parking lot and once again drove him back to their place.
Several hours later, however, they were woken to heart-wrenching sobs. Blaine was curled up in a ball on the couch and crying as he looked at his phone.
Dave filled up a glass of water while Tony tried talking to Blaine. The younger boy was shockingly sober, and that itself was almost more worrisome than his earlier drunkenness.
"I just don't understand why," he gasped. "I mean, I tried so hard, and all I ever did was fuck everything up. And - maybe - if Kurt didn't have to deal with me anymore, he would be happy, right?"
"Blaine, no, none of this is your fault," Tony soothed.
"I just - I just sometimes wish I could just die," Blaine whispered. He looked up into Tony's eyes, and the man had no idea what to do or say. The eyes he was looking into were utterly defeated, broken, dead. Hopeless. "I don't think I can do it anymore. I just wanna die."
"Blaine," Dave said, voice not wavering a bit despite the wetness in his eyes. "Blaine, look at me."
Blaine's eyes slowly moved from Tony's to Dave's.
"Blaine, do you really mean that?"
"I just - without Kurt, everything seems wrong. And he hates me so much because me just being around always ruined everything for him. So maybe if I wasn't around he would be happier."
"Blaine, you have to know that's not true. Kurt might be annoyed that you always seem to just get everything, but he would be devastated if you were dead."
"Really? Because it seems to me that he's a lot happier now that I'm out of his life. And maybe if I were completely gone then he and I both could be happy."
"That's not true. No matter how depressed you are right now, no matter how bad things seem, it can always get better. Remember me, Blaine? I got outed and everyone I knew turned against me. And if my dad hadn't caught me in time, I wouldn't have met Tony. Blaine, I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but there is someone or something out there waiting for you. And if you were to - to kill yourself, you wouldn't just mess it up for you."
"If Dave had succeeded back then," Tony added, "I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. Who knows where we're going to be in six months or a year, but right now? Right now I am as happy as I could ever be and that's only because Dave is here."
Blaine hiccoughed. "But Kurt is my everything. I know there's no one else for me. So how am I supposed to go on while he hates me?"
Dave and Tony exchanged blank looks. Neither knew what else they could say to comfort the distraught boy.
"We'll figure something out," Tony said, pulling Blaine into a tight hug.
Today, 9:35am
Dave Karofsky: hey kurt, can we talk
Today, 11:48am
Dave Karofsky: kurt, this is really important
Today, 3:04pm
Dave Karofsky: kurt, if you don't reply, i'm going to have to call your dad or something
Today, 3:07pm
Kurt Hummel: Dave, I'm at work. What is so important?
Dave Karofsky: it's about blaine.
Kurt Hummel: Blaine and I aren't together anymore, David.
Dave Karofsky: i know, kurt. i'm really scared
Kurt Hummel: and since when did you care?
Dave Karofsky: he's been hanging out at scandals a lot this summer. when my bf and i ran into him there last night he was super wasted so we took him back to my place.
Dave Karofsky: he's really scaring me kurt
Kurt Hummel: Blaine is an adult and can make his own decisions. He's already proven that.
Dave Karofsky: he said he wanted to kill himself
Today, 3:50pm
Dave Karofsky: kurt? u still here?
Kurt Hummel: yeah. Yeah. I am. I just had to ask my boss for a break. Can I call you?
Dave Karofsky: of course. my #s on my profile
"Hello? Kurt?"
"Hi Dave."
"Hey."
"So. What happened?"
"Well, like I said, Blaine got wasted and then he started talking about how you hate him because he keeps ruining everything for you. He said that he should just kill himself so you can get what you deserve."
"And you just left him alone?"
"Of course not! Do you think I'm an idiot, Kurt? I know better than anyone how he's feeling right now. Tony's with him. I didn't want him to hear me say your name in case you wouldn't help or something. If that happens, I don't think Tony and I will be able to help him."
"Tony?"
"My boyfriend. He knows… everything. He knows everything. And he's doing a great job trying to calm Blaine down, but I don't know if it's enough."
"So, what? You want me to just drop everything? He really hurt me, Karofsky. He cheated on me, first of all -"
"And you already forgave him for that. You can't go back on that, Kurt. That's not fair."
"Fine. Well, he followed me around everywhere at school and wouldn't let me have my own life-"
"Because you already had your own and were engaged to him. He was trying to mesh your lives together. Plus, from what I hear, you were a hot commodity at NYADA. Who's gonna blame a guy for being a bit possessive of his hot fiance who was already the big man on campus?"
"And then he lied to me for months! I invited him to do a performance with me and the woman chose him instead! So he lied to me about it and said he had a spot for me when there wasn't!"
"That doesn't mean he didn't try to get you a spot."
"So you're saying that I am completely in the wrong and I should just take him back? He hurt me, Dave."
"I know, Kurt. You're both in the wrong here. But Blaine - he's hurting worse right now, and that's because of stuff that you told him. So I'm not telling you to take him back, but I am asking you to tell him that he didn't mess everything up for you. Because even though he got Tony, you still got into NYADA. And even though that woman chose him, you were still the superstar at NYADA."
Kurt was silent for a long moment. "Pass him the phone."
When Dave returned to his bedroom, he found Blaine trying to make a break for it and Tony guarding the door.
"I don't know what you guys think you heard last night, but I'm fine," Blaine said.
"If you were fine, you wouldn't be spending all your time at that sleazy bar," Tony pointed out.
"Blaine," Dave said, startling them both a bit with his presence. "You're not fine. You will be, but you're not right now."
"You don't-"
"I know that look in your eyes," Dave said, speaking over the younger boy. "I saw it in the mirror every day between when my teammates outed me and the day I tried to hang myself. I know, Blaine."
Blaine didn't speak, he didn't look up.
"Anyway, I have someone who wants to talk to you," Dave said, offering the phone. "Here."
Blaine cradled the phone as if it was the most precious gem on earth before gently holding it up to his ear. "Hello?"
"Hi Blaine," Kurt said. "I think we need to talk."
