Too Many Miles
Phan One Shot (Requested)
Type: Fluff and cliché
Word Count: 1637
Summary: Things you said with too many miles between us.
AN: I was requested to make this and it turned out okay I guess. Hope you enjoy my second ever phan one shot.
My dimly lit screen showed him sitting on his bed when the skype call video appeared. My heart dropped as I was away from him and missed him so much. He was away from me on holiday with his family. The Lester's were known for their family trips. I was still stuck in the cold busy city of London, but with no one to cuddle.
"Hey, Phil." I said as he turns to face his screen, only now realizing it was on. His lips spread into a giant grin as his eyes met mine. My face mimicked his, causing my heart to race as I felt overcome with happiness. And even though the quality was shit, his eyes were still amazing, even if they consisted of 4 pixels each.
"Hey Dan, I've missed you so much! I saw the video you posted to our gaming channel." He said quickly and I smiled wider as he spoke, missing his voice, but not as much as missing his kisses and cuddles each night.
"Yeah? How did you enjoy it?" I said smiling broadly, as he went off on a Phil tangent. The conversation went on like that for about three hours. Him asking me things, us going on about useless things that no one would really care about. But we did. We cared about each other and anything we talked about, especially while we only had this little time to do so. Those three hours were not enough. I was used to having him by my side every single day, and now he isn't here, and I'm lonely. I miss him so much. I want his arms around my waist and my head to be lying on his shoulder, my hobbit hair tickling his neck. But there are too many miles for that to happen.
"I have got to go soon…" Phil trailed off looking down at his fingers, I could tell he hated leaving just as much as I did. We felt lost when the other wasn't near. Everyone always asked us if we were conjoined at the hip. I mean whenever people hear my name they think of Phil as well. We never did this separate because we were like one person. It's always Dan and Phil or AmazingPhil and danisnotonfire. Never one without the other and now, here we are, separated by miles.
"I know…" I say feeling my heart sink as I realized he'd have to be off to sleep in the next half hour, which was not enough time to make my heart feel a little better about the distance between us. "I love you, and miss you loads." I say redirecting my eyes to his pixelated image. "I wish I could give you little kisses on your neck and lips." I say receiving a blushing Phil in return.
"Don't say that Dan." He said sadly, I could tell that he missed me too. We hardly went into sentimental mode where we would say coupley stuff, we had our own way of expressing love. But in certain cases, like this one, we couldn't help but go into normal couple mode, where all the I love you's would slip out and all the missing you loads would surly come. I mean don't get me wrong we say we love each other all the time, and not only through those three words that are said too much. Sometimes when I think about my feeling for my little lion, they don't feel like enough.
"Why?" I asked slightly shocked that he didn't want to hear my terms of endearment. He was usually the one to start saying the normal coupley things. His mouth twitched into a sad smile telling me that it wasn't that he didn't like them but something else. I could feel his sad eyes gazing into my eyes, reading my thoughts.
"There are too many miles between us," He said slowly and then I understood, he was right. The miles in between us were always a problem in that sense a lot. I mean when we are together, which is always, we can go into the room the other is in and cuddle and kiss and stuff, but when we are hours away from one another, that's quite hard. It always reminds me of 2009 when we could only skype and never touch. It always amazes me that we loved each other way back then and could only have physical contact when we traveled hours to one another. "I can't attack you with hugs and kisses. I can't give you my love like I want to, and it only make my heart break even more when you say those things because they can't happen." He looked at me with the saddest puppy dog eyes I've ever seen when he said this. I wanted to reach into the screen and carefully kiss his lips and pull him into a hug. I realized what he said was true. There were too many miles between us for me to be saying those things, because he was right, it hurt that they couldn't happen. At least they couldn't happen yet. He would be coming back tomorrow, so we could hug and cuddle and kiss then. But 24 hours is a long time, anything could happen, people are born and die every 24 hours. I looked at him to see tears welling in his eyes and my heart felt like someone had stabbed it.
"Phil" I said lightly earning a small smile on his part, "you better not have tears in your eyes, because I'll get angry if you do." I said to him with a loving tone. I hate when I can't comfort him, but what I hate more is that I caused this slightly. "You can't cry because I'm not there to wipe the tears away, and I can't kiss a smile onto your lips, so please, Phil, please, look on the bright side, only 24 hours and we can be together again." He looked up at me, wiping his eyes and laughed. His tongue stuck out a little as he did so.
"24 hours huh?" He said with a smiling fading onto his face. I nodded and smiled back at him shaking my head. Wondering how the hell I got so lucky as to call him mine. He looked at me with confusion written on his face. "What?" He said with a little giggle. I laughed a little as well.
"Nothing," I said knowing that I can't tell him, especially with all these miles between us, what I'm thinking. I can't tell him that he is my knight in shining armor who made me happy when skies were grey, or how he was the reason I was here, not a lawyer, and able to make so many people happy. I can't tell him that when I look at him I see this amazing guy that I still idolize, or that I know is too good for me. I can't say that I would risk my life, even give it up, if it meant he was happy and safe. I can't tell him that I would much rather have him be happy then myself. I can't tell him these things, among many others, because he can't come over and give me a hug and kiss and tell me something stupid, just like he always does. We'll be mid cuddle and he'll ramble on about the fact that a tomato is a fruit not vegetable or something irrelevant, but that's one of the many things I love about him.
"Come on tell me." He urged me on. I felt my eyes drop to my keyboard and a smile wide on my face. Oh god I love him so much. In times like these I remember a poem from a while back that said: "you can't love someone unless you love yourself first" bull shit, I have never loved myself, but you, oh god, I loved you so much, I forgot what hating myself felt like.
And that was the truth. When Phil and I started to become friends, I wasn't the nicest to myself. And I already knew I loved Phil. I mean what's not to love. I forced these thoughts out of my brain and tried desperately to come up with anything to tell my little lion, other than the truth, as it would be embarrassing.
"I was thinking of…" I can't lie to him as his face lit up, and he looked so innocent, that I would feel guilty. "you." I say with embarrassment, looking away from him. This was my boyfriend and yet I felt embarrassed to tell him this, but when I reconnected our gaze he looked so happy, with a glint of love resting in his eyes.
"I love you so much Dan." He said smiling and I couldn't help but smile a little as he said this, because even though I'd heard this millions of times before, they still made my stomach bubble with love.
"And I love you Phil." I said, trying to get across everything I wanted to tell him in those words and those only. I smiled knowing that I could last those 24 hours till I could be with him. "We better end the call." I say with a sad smile on my face.
"I guess, I love you." Phil says waving a little bit with a small smile on his face.
"Love you too. Good night." I say and the screen goes black. I close my computer and set it on the floor, deciding the best way to pass time would be too sleep. I closed my eyes, drifting to sleep, thinking of my little lion and all the things we said, regretting the miles between us.
Hope you enjoyed. I am thinking of making this a two part one shot, if you'd like. I have an idea of what to do next. But it's up to you. Okay, thanks for reading! Suggest stuff to me if you have an idea of what you want me to write.
