a/n: Whoo, 12th fic! So um.. let's see... I got the idea from a friend really. She says she has this laugh and it's only hers! lol Though it's not. -.- But um... yeah... I guess this fic could also serve as a guide. I dunno. I'm really bad with the author's notes. n.n;;;
Disclaimer: And I own FMA how...? o.O
- - -
Roy Mustang was sitting at his desk doing his "paperwork." Riza Hawkeye was standing right behind Roy... holding a gun to his head. Ok, so maybe Roy really was doing his paperwork. But after about an hour of constant writing, Roy's hand was camping up. "Hawkeye, can have a break now?"
"No sir. Did I let you take a break five minutes ago?"
"No," Roy answered, tears running down his face.
"Hahahaha!"
Roy stopped writing in mid sen-
"Did you hear that?" he asked his subordinate.
"Sir, I suggest you continue your paperwork. I have another pile for you."
"But I have to go to the bathroom!"
"Well sir, you shouldn't have drank all that spiked coffee Ayumi gave you."
"It's not my fault! She poured it down my throat and God dammit stop calling me sir! Is that all you can ever say? Sir, sir, sir! Blah, blah, bl-"
Riza fired her gun. Luckily, it was pointed out the window. So it killed a bird. Poor bird.
Anyway, Riza was actually starting to feel bad for Roy's bladder, so she let him take a small break. The moment Roy stepped back into his office he heard it again.
"Bwahahaha!"
Roy immediately turned around, ready to snap. As in snap his fingers and do alchemy. "Who's there?" He asked to seemingly no one.
"Who's where, sir?" Riza said turning a page in her book.
"Didn't you hear that? It was louder than before."
"Whatever you say..."
"Myahahaha!"
"Did you-"
"Yes sir. I heard that." Riza interrupted him turning another page. Suddenly the door, which Roy had just closed, burst opened and squished him between it and the wall.
"Dammit Ed! I told you Mwahahaha is the evil laugh!" Alexa said, shoving Ed further into the room. Al was following behind.
"No it's not Alex. Go ask the Colonel. I'm sure he'd know," Ed finished under his breath. He looked around the room. The only thing he saw was the First Lieutenant reading a book and pointing behind the door.
"I'm... here..." was all Roy could say, all high pitched and squeaky. Ed pulled the door off him and closed it.
"Roy, Ed and I have a problem," Alexa shouted, plopping down on the black leather couch.
"And what might that be?" Roy asked as he too sat his chair, rubbing his... package form the earlier doorknob/crotch incident. (Sorry, couldn't help it.)
"Alexa and Ed are fighting about which laugh is... is... well..." Al tried to explain but appeared to be having trouble.
"We are trying to determine which laugh is right for which situation," Alexa explain calmly even though she was ready to kill someone.
"And how is this important?"
"Dammit Roy work with us!" Alexa spazzed.
"Calm down Al. I'd love to help you but if I don't Hawkeye over there will have my head. So if you'd excuse me..." Roy picked up his pen and started signing papers. Honestly, he just didn't want to partake in their silly little games.
"Oh come on Mustang! It's not like you've skipped a days worth of work," Ed yelled slamming his hands on Roy's desk.
Riza looked up from her book. She placed the bookmark in place, stood, and walked to Ed and Roy.
"Eyehehehe!"
In that instant, Alexa, Ed, Al, and Roy looked up. All they saw was Riza.
"Um... where'd that come from?"
"I dunno..."
Riza sighed. These people who infected her life sure were idiots. Again, she made a crackling sound. "Eyehehehe!"
"Guys," Al mumbled. "I think that was Riza." He lifted his shaky hand and pointed in Riza's direction.
"Run!" Alexa screamed. Everyone, except Riza, started to run in circles flailing their arms. In order to stop this madness Riza had to fire her gun again. This time it hit some little Irish boy frolicking by. They all stopped in mid step and stared at Riza.
"What I just gave you was an example of a Witch's laugh. Roy, I expect you to help them in their quest." Riza stated. She walked back to her desk, sat, picked up her book, and began to read again.
"What?! You can't order me, I out rank you!" Roy flared. Riza took her gun out of the holster on her hip and twirled it around her index finger. "Well then, let's get to work!" Roy went to his desk and got out a large, square piece of paper and a marker.
"Um, Roy, what's that for?" Alexa asked.
"We're making a chart. I'll show Riza who's boss yet," he mumbled.
- - -
It's been about an hour and a half now and the group, consisting of Ed, Al, Alexa, and Roy, even though Roy was asleep, hadn't gotten that far.
"Nuh-uh! It's Myahahaha not Eyehehehe!" Alexa shouted.
"Yeah, Eyehehehe was what Riza did and she said that was the Witch's Laugh," Al agreed.
"Oh right, so then Myahahaha is the Crazy Hyena Laugh..." Ed noted as he wrote it on the chart. "Well then what's the evil laugh?"
"I told you, Mwahahaha!" Alexa shouted.
"Alright, alright..." Ed handed the marker to Alexa.
"So wait, what do we have so far?" asked Al slightly confused.
"We have-"
"Let me do it," Alexa grabbed the chart from Ed. "After all, I laugh better than you..." she said with a flip of her hair.
"What?!"
Alexa cleared her throat. "Ahem... The Regular Laugh - Hahaha! The Hilarious Laugh - Bwahahaha! The Witch's Laugh - Eyehehehe! The Evil Laugh - Mwahahaha! And The Crazy Hyena Laugh - Myahahaha!"
After Alexa's last laugh Roy woke. "Huh...?" he asked groggily. "Are we done?"
"No, we just began!" Alexa was ready to slap Mustang.
"I don't know guys, I don't think we're done," Al observed.
"Really?" They all peered over the chart, looking over every neatly written letter.
"What about," he thought for a minute. "Ah, The Embarrassed Laugh - Eheheheh?"
Alexa nodded. "Yeah, I guess that could work." She handed the marker to Al and he wrote his piece. They all thought about what else could work while Roy fell back asleep. When one of them thought of something they suggested it. If it worked, they wrote it down. If not, they didn't. Simple as that. ...sorta.
"I tell you, it works!" Alexa shouted.
"No it doesn't!" Ed fired back.
"Ahahaha is so a sarcastic laugh!"
"Is not!"
Al just sat on the sidelines watching Alex and Ed spazz out. "Guys..." He tried to stop them but it didn't seem to work. "Guys..."
They just ignored him. "Guys!" Al shouted. Ed looked up. "What Al?"
"What about The Secret Laugh - Hehehe?"
Alexa nodded. "Ok." Al, again, wrote his piece.
"But what about The Sarcastic Laugh? Al, what do you say?" Alexa asked.
"Well..." Al thought for a moment.
Alexa and Ed leaned in close enough to burst Al's bubble if he had one.
"Brother, don't hate me but... I say it works."
"Yes!"
"No!"
Alexa cheered as Ed slumped in his chair. Al let out a nervous laugh, "Eheheheh"
Everyone looked up. "BWAHAHAHA!" They all chuckled.
- - -
"Alright Riza, we did it," Roy said holding up the chart.
"What? No we didn't. We did! Alex, Al and I," Ed stated.
"But I supervised," Roy corrected.
"Ha! You just slept the whole time," Alexa replied.
Riza looked up from her book. She saw the chart and was surprised that they actually completed a project and didn't dump it and never finish, but that it was also neatly organized. "Alright, show me what you have."
Roy held the chart as Alexa and Ed explained the situations and the correct laugh that went with it.
"The Witch's Laugh - Eyehehehe!" Alexa started.
"The Crazy Hyena Laugh - Myahahaha!"
"The Evil Laugh - Mwahahaha!"
"The Regular Laugh - Hahaha!"
"The Hilarious Laugh - Bwahahaha!"
"The Embarrassed Laugh - Eheheheh!"
"The Secret Laugh - Hehehe!"
"And finally, The Sarcastic Laugh - Ahahaha!" Ed finished.
Riza read down the columns and across the rows. She nodded in approvment. "Nice job. Although... you know I was only kidding about having to actually so this, right?" For once in Riza's life, a smile spread across her lips. "Here." Riza handed them all a cookie.
"Whee!" They shouted as they jumped up and down. Al, Ed, Alexa, and Roy bolted for the door. Roy was just about out hen Riza called him back.
"Sir, you still have paperwork to finish," she said putting another pile onto Mustang's desk. Roy whined but did as he was told, for there was already a gun to his head.
a/n: Wow. So um... Review? And not flame? Thanks.
