This sounded a lot better in my head...
Enjoy my first finished bamon one-shot :D Finally! I´ve been working on tvd stories for so long now and I didn´t get a single one finshed.
The song "wicked" was one of the songs I put into my bamon playlist for season 8 :D And yes, I made a bamon playlist^^. This song suits so well to the last episode :D
Tell Me Pretty Lies
"But there´s nothing left, but an empty soul."(Wicked by Boy Epic)
I looked at HIM. Searching for any sign of his humanity, I just saw seconds ago. But it was gone.
I knew there still was a part of him that wasn´t destroyed by HER. The siren, Sybil, the one who wanted Enzo and Damon to be her loyal soldiers and do whatever she wanted them to do.
The one who made ME chose between THEM.
The one who was jealous of ME, because her so called loyal soldiers weren´t so loyal at all. Apparently I had THEM wrapped around MY fingers?! SHE was talking about ME, Bonnie Bennett whose first boyfriend cheated on me with a ghost and who never had luck with boys!? This girl, me, apparently was capable of wrapping two men, moreover two vampires around her finger?! When I heard her stating this, I thought she was out of her mind. Mainly she stated it as if it was so obviously to her Damon and I had something going on in the prison world. When I denied it, she slightly was disappointed.
Still her words achieved I was thinking about what I forbidden myself to think about, because it hurt too much: The possibilty of ever having something more than just a platonic friendship with Damon and I couldn´t stop thinking about it now after Sybil implied Damon and I could have more than we had. Stupidly, it was stuck in my brain.
The whole car drive it was on my mind and I was scared of being to late and they both were dead. It drove me crazy.
When I entered the gym and saw them fighting, I couldn´t believe my eyes. They didn´t even tried fighting it.
Worse, on the brink Damon was tarring Enzo´s heart out! I had to do something!
"Damon, no!" My voice was three levels higher than normal. I almost shrieked which was not what I intened to be. I wanted to sound calm like I had the current situation under control which I hadn´t in reality.
But still when Damon heard my voice he immdiately turned his head and I saw relief and hope in his blue eyes.
When I saw his face, I took a gasp of relief.
I took a step closer and tried to convince Damon to let Enzo go.
"Damon, please", I begged him with our eyes locked, "Please, fight through this!". Damon turned his head away from me.
And for a moment I thought I lost him, but then I heard how he broke one of Enzo´s bone. It hopefully just was a bone, I said to myself. I knew Damon wasn´t capable fighting Sybil instructions and I knew it only a matter of time until Damon would kill Enzo.
"I know you can", I tried again. But I got no reaction from Damon.
I just wished Damon would fight this and prevent me from doing what I had to do to stop them.
"Damon", I tried the last time, "Don´t make me do this".
This time I got an answer from Damon: "Sorry, Bon". And then I heard Damon making a new move and I closed my eyes.
For the next words I hated myself so much, because they didn´t express what I was feeling: "I chose Enzo", I cried out loud. Tears were rolling down my cheeks.
"Tell me pretty lies. Look me in the face."(IDFC by Blackbear)
"What?!" was all Damon said and I could hear out his shock, "No!".
When he turned hisheard to look at me, I turned my head away. I couldn´t see his face, because it made me regret my decision so hard. Silently tears drip down to the corridor. I hated myself for choosing Enzo knowing I lost Damon forever, because I chose Enzo over him even though my heart screamed so loud: Damon.
I knew how I would chose the moment Sybil wanted me to choose between them and it didn´t matter that Damon left me four year ago or that Enzo was my boyfriend for over one year and I was happy with him. I knew I should without even thinking about it choosing Enzo, my boyfriend, my-so-called true love, but my heart longed for Damon and I couldn´t change the fact I still loved Damon more than Enzo! I hated myself for this.
Damon was like a fever I couldn´t shake. And as hard as Enzo tried the last three year he couldn´t fulfill the hole Damon caused. He couldn´t make me feel completely alive like Damon. Damon was a painful ass, but he also made me feel alive and real with his annoying as hell jokes, his most of the time crazy challenges, with our thing to bicker which I adored despite my effort not to. I admired his passion about people he cared about and he could be very sweet if he wanted to be. But the most important thing he gave me hope whenever I lost it and together we always found a solution to our problems.
Enzo was sweet and hot, but as much as I didn´t want to admit after one year of being together still a distraction. He never could replace what Damon and I had.
"I fell in love. But it was never good enough for us."(Wicked by Boy Epic)
I didn´t know when I fell for him, but I knew when I realized I did. It was the moment he left me. I felt so empty and so numb. I felt like I couldn´t breath, but still breathed in and out. I knew I was alive, but I didn´t felt like this, I felt worse thing I did that night was: I let him leave me. And my reason for this was I just didn´t know that night how to stop him from leaving me. In that moment I believed I lost him, because my friendship with Damon wasn´t strong enough to keep him here with him, because of his coming over desire of being with Elena and that he couldn´t live without her anymore. I knew he loved Elena over everything in the world and I never would be capable of replacing Elena in Damon´s life. I never did want it until the day he left me. The day I wished our love was as strong as Elena´s and Damon´s.
But the reality showed me it wasn´t and that hurt like hell. I felt like dying, but at the same time I was so furious with him for thinking like always only about him than how his decision would have effect other people like me!
And that was how I found out, I fell in love with him.
But I couldn´t let Enzo die, because of my sacrificed-complex whose Damon had criticize so often, I lost count of it.
"Cause I have hella feelings for you. I act like I don´t fucking care. Like they aren´t even there. Cause I am so fucking scared." (IDFC by Blackbear)
I had to explain myself to Damon: "I just can´t let him die". My voice almost broke, because I only told half of the truth.
I couldn´t let Damon die either. The problem was I knew Stefan would fight for Damon no matter what, but nobody would fight for Enzo. And I as his girlfriend had to fight for him. It was my duty.
In that moment it didn´t matter how many battles Damon and I fight together or how many times he gave me hope, the only thing that mattered was Enzo.
I saw the look on Damon´s face which told me he didn´t believed me or maybe the whole situation was unreal to him. The hurt look on his face broke me. I hated myself for doing this to him.
But even if I would chose Damon, it wouldn´t change our current relationship status, right?
I knew he would never love or see me like he did with Elena and I would end up the one who gets hurt! And I didn´t wanted this. So I rather chose Enzo of whom I was sure he loved me deeply and always put me first!
"I chose Enzo!" I repeated it without showing any emotions. I knew if I did show emotions, I would break and I needed to be strong right now.
Damon looked then at me with a unable-to-believe-what-he-just-heart-look which showed me he knew I wasn´t telling the whole truth. But it also showed me he hadn´t turned off his humanity completly like I just reasoned minutes ago: "I know that somewhere deep down, there´s still some part of you left. She couldn´t have stripped it all a way. You´re abncoisly, too stubborn to let that happen. I know my friend is still in there. And I am going to have to live with that".
But soon after he started begging me to change my decision and then he did the same thing with Sybil after he didn´t get any comment of me. Seeing how he begged Sybil in the same way he begged me minutes ago hurt, but also made me realize how stupid I was for believing he didn´t shut his humanity completely off! This whole begging thing was a scheme. He didn´t really cared at all, he just was trying to save his own ass, because he was scared of being punished by whatever Sybil planned for him.
"SHE is a monster, but SHE is my Queen."(Wicked by Boy Epic)
And then the unbelievable happened: Sybil agreed on sparing Damon´s life. She reasoned he was a much more loyal soldier than Enzo.
Because I was shocked and so furious what was happening, the next few minutes passed by so fast and before I realized what happened Enzo had turned off his humanity and I couldn´t do anything against it. He did exactly what she wanted from him. He didn´t listen to me saying this was a trap. He thought he was doing the right thing. He believed I was capable of saving him.
I knew I was going to die, when he turned his humanity off. I couldn´t fight like I used to be. My powers were gone. I felt so helpless. And I hated it.
When he walked towards HER as if I never excisted, my heart broke into a million pieces.
I stand under shock. I couldn´t believe my eyes what was happening.
I didn´t catch it when SHE was saying: "Oh, and one last thing: would you mind if I take back my promise of spare Bonnie´s life?"
I felt numb. Empty! Just a dream.
"No, rejection", I heard HIM saying it, but I already drifted away. Just a dream.
I didn´t heard the "You are the best" anymore or the "Bonnie, I am counting to ten and then I am going to let Damon finishing what he started".
I was gone. In an alternative universe to escape the pain I was feeling. Because of that, I didn´t noticed the damned-run-Bonnie-look Damon was giving me.
10: All I could think about was he had shut down his humanity and I was alone again.
Why did I always end up the one who had to sacrifice and had to be one who would brought him back from the age?
9: "Enzo, your sure, you don´t mind Damon tarring into shreds?" Why fight when there´s nothing to fight for? No hope there´s going to be a happy ending for you in it? That was my destiny to be the one who never would get her happy ending.
"Nope" All hope for things to get better died the moment I saw the change in his mimic.
8: "So much for you in dominant love". All hope set into someone who didn´t cared at all about me in the end.
7: "Looks like Enzo is not going to help you".
6: "Pretty much sure Stefan and Caroline won´t be such a great help either" SHE won.
5: "Bonnie, you really should be running right now!" SHE was too close to me. I could feel her presence and it scared the hell out of me. I woke up out of myescape-the-reality-land and looked eyes with a certain blue-eyed vampire. The moment I saw his scared look, I made a decision without even realizing it. My legs were faster reacting than my brain. It was like energy was rushing though my veins again. He gave me what I lost minutes ago. HOPE. Not everything was lost at all. With this one look he told me everything I needed to know:Damonstill cared about my well-beingand that despite his humanity turning off.
4: I started running like I never did before. Even though I knew this was the most stupid thing I ever did my life.
There was no hope I would be capable of escaping Damon and still knowing he was 100 times faster than me I ran faster and faster until he came rushing out of nowhere and I crushed into his chest. For a moment I enjoyed by closing my eyes how close we were and his familiar scent I only realized I missed when I smelled him.
But in a blink of any eye, our current position changed so fast though him pushing me against his blue Camaro.
"Can´t fight this darkness deep in me. It is when she likes to keep haunting my wicked dreams." (Wicked by Boy Epic)
I started screaming: "Damon, stop!"
And that was then I suddenly saw myself standing in a looking very familiar supermarket. I just couldn´t point to from where I knew this supermarket.
I saw my so looking sad eyes and felt like I-shouldn´t-feel-sorry-feeling. The next thing I saw was a change in my eyes changed to a determined look. I watched how my eyes were wandering to a candle and one second later this candle burned in such a bright light and I felt like my mouth were forming a smile. Out of sudden I felt a happiness going through my veins.
And then it stopped and I was looking again into Damon´s so blue like the ocean eyes whose looked at me cautious as if he was waiting for my next move.
This was the moment I realized what he wanted from me. It was the same thing he wanted from me in the gym. He wanted me to play along and so I did.
"Please", I begged him.
And he did let me go. He was moving away from me.
And then he got hit by a car. And again I was drifting away and thought the scene I just saw seconds ago. That´s why I didn´t noticed what Alaric did to Sybil or that Stefan and Caroline awaked.
I came to the conclusion Damon made me see this scene we experienced in the prison world. It was a secret message of him. He wanted me to get my magic back, so that we could fight together against Sybil. He was certain I was capable of defeating Sybil.
In this moment I also realized Damon was fighting against Sybil in his own way. In a more clever way then Enzo did.
So this is how I wished Damon would be freeing himself from Sybil.
I think Damon is clever and Bamon are very powerful when they are working together :D
I just hope the writers don´t bring this whole Stefan-has-to-save-Damon-again-because-Damon-isn´t-capable-of-saving-himself thing. It´s annoying and sad and would show as if Damon never develop. I want Damon to get out there by himself and of course with a little help of Bonnie :D
So what do you think?
