Title: Sakura's Thoughts
Rated: K
Genre: General
Warnings: Shippudden episode 1
Notes: None, just an idea that popped into my head really
Author: uchihasasukekun07
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of it's characters...unfortunately!
Summary: Fifteen year old Sakura's true thoughts and feelings of the current situation.
Love? That's what I thought I was with you. But I was only twelve then. What did I know? I was nothing but a foolish child. What I felt for you was not love. It was more like an attraction, a crush. I latched on to you because you were something I could never be. You were sorrow. You were pain. You were loneliness. You were the emotions I could not feel because I was never in the situations you have lived.
I needed you. My heart would skip a beat when someone called your name out or when you arrived. My stomach churned with butterflies when you looked at me, when you spoke at me, no not too me but at me, when you protected me. These I though then were the makings of love. The excitement I felt when Iruka-sensei called out your name and mine for team 7. Victory I had over Ino, another one for the 'Forehead girl".
Yes I know I'm not your average pretty girl. I'm not your stereotypical bombshell. I'm medium height, average weight, pink hair. But what I lack on the outside I make up for on the inside. I have intelligence that I know but you never really saw me for that, did you? No, like him you only focused on our flaws, our weakness'. I would agree with you only to make myself feel better but the truth is that each remark was like a kunai to my chest. But love conquers all yes? But who am I to judge? I was just as bad as you. I too only focused on his weakness, his loud energetic personality, his enthusiasm.
I never wanted you to leave. You leaving was like a wave of dread drowning me. I felt like I wouldn't survive without you. You were me life line. I begged, I cried, I pleaded. You thanked me and yet you still left. My darkness gone like dusk surrendering to the darkness of night. I was alone again. Nobody's darkness to swim in but my own fakeness. I turned to him. I latched onto his little sorrow but he wasn't enough. His 'happy-go-lucky attitude didn't meet my requirements. Fact of the matter was I needed you, for at that point I was still in 'love' with you. So I set about bringing you back. I put my intelligence to use. I trained hard, I studied hard. I also matured.
I learned a lot from Tsunade, mostly what a sheltered life I have lead till now. When you face death you get a whole new perspective on life especially when death is the result of your mistake. As a medical nin you have the responsibility of peoples live resting in your hands. I would never have been able to hold this weight on my shoulders without maturing. I was forced to look at myself and evaluate the things I had done. I learned from my mistakes.
I am no longer the indecisive shinobi you once knew. I have confidence both in myself and in my abilities. I have to. They say you can't put a wise head on young shoulders, it's true for 98 of you but I'm one of the 2. Now as I look up at you upon the cliff I come face to face with the inner me, the one I thought I left behind. Old feelings surface. You call out to me in a tone colder and more uncaring than I have ever heard you say. You do what I expect. You ignore me, I am insignificant to you. I am after all just a girl. You are so wrong.
Mistake number one, you come off you perch. Mistake number two, you threaten the one that I have gained the utmost respect for. Mistake number three, you still regard us as fools. Your angst overshadowed him for so long. When you left I noticed him. I done what you never did. I looked at him, really looked at him. And I realized my mistake, his strength was my weakness. He may have left for two and a half years but in the few weeks that I have gotten to know him, I know him better than I do you after years of chasing.
We always said we would find you and bring you home, save you. But as we walk away I finally understand my old feelings as they dissipate into the dusk sky like they did that night nearly three years ago. It is not darkness I seek. You cannot save someone would doesn't want to be saved. You cannot love someone who keeps people at arms length. You can only carry someone for so long before you too crumble under the weight. We tried, I know he doesn't understand it yet, I will be there for him unlike you when he does. I will be the one to comfort him. As I walk away I see beyond your cold exterior. I see the fear, the loneliness. You want to be saved but it's too late for that now. We have given you numerous times to take our hands as you fell deeper into that darkness. Each time you slapped them away. This was your last chance. We will come back for you but next time it won't be to save you, no next time it will be to eliminate you.
Goodbye, my heart belongs to someone else.
Please R&R!!! Just a short ramble on I thought would be true (to some degree of Sakura's feelings to her two teammates!
