A/N: The ending to this just about killed me, I've been stuck on it for months. I finally just said "screw it" and pounded it out, so I hope it's not too awful.
Dread Summons
Ral stared at his computer in wordless frustration, clicking over the GPS tracker again. Still nothing. Gideon put a comforting hand on his shoulder, but Ral shook it off in irritation. This wasn't the time for comfort. Jace had been missing for a week.
He'd broken up with them two weeks ago, via the tersest text message Ral had ever seen. The screen of Ral's iphone was now shattered where he'd thrown it against the wall in frustration. That had been a dumb reaction. Although, when Jace had stopped coming to class and when he and Gideon had realized the probable reason behind the sudden breakup, Ral had punched a wall. Which had probably been a dumber reaction, especially since it had been the wall of the local theater where he worked, right near the fuse-box. Since several of the wires were nearly worn through—the theater was continually promising to do something about that, but so far nothing had been done—if he'd misaimed the punch, he could have ended up introducing a generous helping of electricity into his system, and that really would not have helped the situation.
"Fuck!" Ral said explosively, clicking refresh obsessively for what had to be the thirtieth time in two minutes.
"We're going to find him," Gideon said, leaning over Ral to stare at the computer screen himself.
"How are you so fucking calm?" Ral demanded. "Has your cousin come up with anything yet?"
Gideon shook his head. "Lavinia is working on it," he said stolidly. "And I'm calm because one of us needs to be. And it certainly isn't going to be you."
"Damn straight," muttered Ral. "Jace could be dead by now, for all we know. You know he's with the bitch who ra—"
"Get up. Get a pill."
"Is that all you can say?"
Gideon's hand dropped onto Ral's shoulder. "It is time for your brain pills. I am not going to be around you if you do not take them on time."
Ral gave vent to a wordless snarl, but he got to his feet and headed across the room to his backpack, where he kept his lexapro, buspar, and enough amphetamines to kill a horse. He dry-swallowed all of them, one after another, then crouched over his backpack for a minute, feeling a lump rising in his throat as he stared at the stupid dangly charm hanging off the back. Jace had given him the pair of fuzzy dice for their six-month anniversary.
"Ral," Gideon said, his voice suddenly sharp. "The tracker app has a hit."
Ral's stomach twisted, and he got to his feet so suddenly that dark spots swirled in front of his eyes for a minute. "Let me see," he said roughly, pushing Gideon out of the way. Sure enough, there it was, the little round circle on Apple Maps. "Holy shit, I never thought it would work after this much time. Spotty internet, maybe?"
He muttered to himself as he pulled up the bitch's Facebook page for comparison purposes. Good thing she accepted any friend request from a friend of a friend. "This is her old place. The apartment she used to live in when they were—a thing. So he's definitely there."
Gideon had out his phone already. "Hey, Vinny. We found him. Is there anything you can do?" A few moments of terse conversation later, and he put the phone down again. "She says she'll do her best, but she doesn't know if they have sufficient evidence yet."
"Fuck that!" Ral said explosively. "I'm not waiting any longer. C'mon. We're going to get him."
He started to get out of the chair, and Gideon's hand fell onto the top of his shoulder. "We can't just run in like this. What if Jace wants to be there?"
"He doesn't, you know he doesn't," Ral protested. "She's an abusive bitch, and she's using him for whatever bullshit she's mixed up in for Bolas."
"Then why did he leave with her in the first place?"
"Because she has something on him! You know Jace wouldn't skip out on the C.S. 370 midterm if he had a choice."
Gideon paused, then sighed explosively. "Okay," he said. "We go get him."
Jace shivered as he stared out the window, trying to ignore the lump in his throat. It was freezing cold in the bedroom, but he didn't want to ask Liliana to turn on the heat. Better if he didn't catch her attention too much, especially right now. She didn't need to know that he'd already managed to hack the database she'd asked him to, and was just having a crisis of conscience over doing what she'd asked.
"You're not going to go to jail," Liliana had said dismissively the night before, when he'd tried to use that as an excuse. "Come on, Jace, if you went to jail, so would I. I'm not risking that."
He licked dry lips. He was about ninety percent certain that the database she wanted him to wipe had a lot of incriminating evidence on her and her boss, Bolas. Jace had extricated himself from this mess once before, and now he was right back in it. And this time, he wasn't sure she was going to give him an out. Worse, he didn't know how much longer he could stall. Liliana was already starting to say that she wouldn't be able to keep the heat off him much longer if he didn't show some results.
Jace hunched over, pulling his hoody down low on his back. If Bolas had sent Liliana to get him to do this—if he didn't produce results soon—there was a very real chance that it wouldn't be Liliana trying anymore. Jace swallowed hard, trying to control a shivering that was only partly due to cold now.
The creak of the door made him jump, and he turned to see Liliana shutting it behind her. "Hey," she said with a bright smile. "How is it going?"
"Almost done," Jace said, trying to meet her eyes. "Just a few more steps."
"You're rusty," she said lightly. "I know you've been working hard, though." Crossing the room toward him, she ran her fingers gently across his shoulders, and he had to hold himself very still to avoid flinching. "I'll protect you," she said, leaning in and kissing his cheek.
Just let me go, Jace wanted to say, but he knew it was pointless. Liliana wasn't going to disobey Bolas; besides, even if she did, Tezzeret would come after him. His heart thudded unpleasantly inside his chest at the thought of what Tezzeret would do.
"Why don't you take a little break?" Liliana coaxed. Her lips moved from his cheek to his mouth, and he tried to pull away.
"Lili—" he said awkwardly. "We're not together anymore. I'm just here to do you a favor." And because I'm locked in, he added silently to himself.
She followed him, and he found himself trapped between her and the windowsill. "Come on, Jace," she said, with a smirk. "For old time's sake?"
"I'm not in the mood," Jace said, suddenly slightly desperate. His hands clutched at the sill behind him.
"Oh, Jace," Liliana sighed, tracing a finger down his cheek. "Aren't you grateful that I'm protecting you? I went to a lot of trouble to make sure Bolas didn't just send Tezzeret right after you."
"Of c-course I'm grateful," Jace stammered. "I just don't think—"
"If you're grateful, then you'll be happy to do something for me, won't you?"
"I—" Jace put up a hand, trying to push her away again. "Liliana, I don't want—"
She shifted position so that her breast was beneath his hand and gave him a bright smile. "It's fine for you to take a break," she breathed.
Oh god. "No," Jace said, wondering how much clearer he could make himself.
Liliana's eyebrows went up, and she slid a hand down the front of his jeans. Jace squeaked and tried to squirm away backwards, but she caught his wrist. "Christ, you grew some balls," Liliana said admiringly. "But you know, I can always not protect you from Tezzeret." He froze. Liliana laughed. "I'm joking, Jace. If you don't want to do anything, we don't have to do anything."
She wasn't joking. He knew she wasn't joking. Liliana always said she was joking, but then she made your life unpleasant in small ways until you did what she wanted. She'd just been joking when she told him to break up with Gideon and Ral. Obviously. Nothing would have happened to them—and maybe it wouldn't have. Maybe he was paranoid, or crazy, or delusional. But the thought of Tezzeret was enough to make the bile rise in the back of his throat and definitely enough to make Jace plaster a smile onto his face and say, "What were you thinking, Lili?"
She kissed him.
"I don't see why I can't be the one to go in and get him," Ral snapped, fingering the thumb drive in his hand. Gideon gave him a wordless look for a moment, before turning his attention back to the road. "What? You're the beefy one, and you're making me be the distraction, thus putting me in danger and not letting me be the person to go in and get him."
Gideon slowed and pulled into a parking space at the side of the street. "If somebody needs to break down a door, it's going to be me."
Ral scoffed at him. "You can't actually break down a door, man."
Gideon gave him a steady look, as if to say, "Watch me."
"All right, all right," Ral said grudgingly, after another minute. "But text me as soon as he's safe, okay?"
Gideon nodded, then leaned across the car to kiss Ral firmly on the lips. "I've got Lavinia on speed-dial just in case," he said. "Do you have her as well?"
Ral's eyebrows called upward. "Yeah," he said. "Though I'll be honest, I will dial 911 before I call your cousin, even if she is a cop."
He hopped out of the car and pulled the disposable phone out of his pocket after checking that his iphone was still sitting securely in the back pocket of his jeans. Glancing back once to make sure Gideon's car was still there, he headed toward the little park they'd found on Google Maps earlier in the afternoon.
"Well, here goes nothing," he said to the high, semicircular bridge across the stream that formed one boundary of the park, and he put the phone to his ear. It rang five times before someone picked up.
"Hello?" A woman's voice, faintly breathless.
"Liliana?"
"Who is this?"
"I have something you might want," Ral grinned into the phone.
A pause. "What's that supposed to mean?" she snapped.
"It means that I have a data log of a whole bunch of illegal accesses to classified information from your IP address, for starters."
Another pause. "What do you want?" she asked.
"Couple hundred bucks would be nice to start with," Ral responded insouciantly. "I'll meet you in Auralee Park in fifteen minutes if you're interested. Otherwise, I guess I'll look for someone else who might want this."
He hung up before she could respond. Now to wait and hope she decided to show up and that Gideon would be able to get to Jace. Fun.
Gideon slouched down in the driver's seat, trying to inconspicuously keep an eye on the house. It would take a few minutes for Ral to reach the park, some time for him to make the call, and then however long after that for Liliana to actually leave. He took a deep breath and started counting to six hundred slowly. He was somewhat more nervous than he'd let on to Ral, but there was no point in both of them panicking. He'd seen Ral and Jace get into a kind of anxiety resonance before, and that was the last thing they needed right now.
As he reached five hundred twenty-seven, the front door of the small white house opened, and a woman came out, looking slightly nervous. She glanced from side to side and then set off in the same direction Ral had gone a little while before. Gideon watched until she was out of sight and then started counting to six hundred again.
When he had reached four hundred fifty, he decided he'd waited long enough. First things first. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Jace. As he'd expected, the call went to voicemail—but it rang first. All right. Gideon got slowly out of the car and headed over to the house where he was pretty sure he'd be able to find Jace.
The front door, to his annoyance but not surprise, was locked. So was the back door. He scouted around the house and finally found a loose window into a small and rather grimy kitchen. Thankful that he wouldn't have to literally break in, he forced the window up and jiggled the screen out of position, then crawled in. It was a tight fit, and he had to pause for a moment to make sure he wouldn't end up stuck.
Once he finally managed to wriggle through, he found himself in a small, dark room. Dishes were piled high in the tiny sink, and there was an empty Chinese takeout box sitting on the table. Making his way through the house, he found a room in the front with a TV and a narrow staircase going upward. Time to check the second floor.
At the top of the stairs, there was a short hallway with three doors leading off it. The first one he checked opened into a bathroom, the second was a closet, and the third was locked. Gideon paused for half a second, then knocked on the door. Sudden movement from inside confirmed that there was, in fact, somebody else in the house. "Jace?" he called softly.
There was a low noise of surprise in what was unmistakably Jace's voice, and the sound of somebody moving toward the door. "Gideon? What are you doing here?" He sounded exhausted, and his voice was hoarse as if he'd been crying.
"Looking for you," Gideon responded. "Are you locked in?"
"Y-yeah," Jace managed. "But you shouldn't be here. I mean, I broke up with—"
"Yeah, maybe next time try not missing the CS midterm, if you actually want us to believe there's nothing wrong."
There was a pause, then Jace laughed hollowly. "I was doing computer work anyway," he said softly. "But seriously, Gideon, it's too dangerous. You shouldn't be here."
"Fuck that," Gideon said. "Stand back, I'm going to break the door down."
"You're…what?"
Gideon backed up a few paces. Jace made a soft noise that might have been a protest, but at least his voice was coming from further into the room now. Gideon lined up a kick at the lock, mentally thanked Vinny for forcing him to take Tae Kwan Do lessons from age seven onwards, and lashed out.
He was rustier than he'd realized, and the shock that ran through the side of his foot was not good, to say the least. He was going to need to see a doctor later. But the lock broke with a sharp snap, and the door bowed inward on its hinges. Wincing at the pain in his foot, Gideon limped forward and peered around it.
Jace was sitting on the bed in the middle of the room, his hands folded loosely in his lap, and he was entirely naked. Gideon, who had never seen him without his blue hoody, had to take a moment before hurrying over. This was worse than he'd expected.
There were huge dark circles beneath Jace's eyes, and his ribs protruded against the flesh of his skin. He couldn't have been eating enough. "Jesus, Jace," Gideon said helplessly. "Where are your clothes?"
Jace's eyes scrunched shut as if he were trying to keep from crying. He gestured limply toward the far side of the bed. "Somewhere over there, I think," he said. Without the door in the way, his voice was still muffled, and it sounded even more exhausted.
Gideon went round the bed to find the pile of jeans, boxers, and t-shirt. "Okay," he said. "We need to get you out of here, so you need to be wearing these, okay?"
"Mmm," Jace assented, but his voice was worrying distant, and he made no move to take the clothes that Gideon proffered to him.
"Jace, do I need to dress you?" Gideon asked, half-joking, but when Jace's empty eyes turned toward him, he felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. "Jace…" he said awkwardly. "Did she—"
Again the eyes scrunched shut. "There was a phone call," Jace managed slowly. "We didn't get very far. I'm—sorry."
"What on earth for?" Gideon demanded, reaching out for Jace and gently coaxing him up off the bed. "Put your arms up," he instructed, and Jace complied slowly.
"Sorry for being a coward," Jace muttered. "That's why I'm sorry. I was gonna let her—it's not like I said no."
"Jesus, Jace," Gideon said again, but very softly. "I'm not mad at you. For fuck's sake." He slid the t-shirt over Jace's head and tugged it down, pausing for a moment because he couldn't help seeing that Jace's back was entirely covered in raised white scars. "You're going to have to help me a little more with the jeans."
"Right," Jace said, sounding a little more focused now, for which Gideon was grateful. He staggered into the jeans and managed to pull them up part of the way, but he dropped them with a frustrated sigh. "Goddammit," he said. "My hands are shaking, I'm just—Gideon, you shouldn't have come."
"Fuck that," Gideon responded. "You got kidnapped, Jace, you think we'd just leave you?" Jace's mouth moved helplessly. Gideon found himself yanking the jeans up and zipping them himself, trying to take care not to catch anything in the zipper. "Hey," he said. "You're okay. I've got a cousin on the police. She can't do anything to you."
Jace swallowed. "She was protecting me," he forced out. "I mean, Lili's—not a good person, don't get me wrong. But the thing is, she was—the people I used to be involved with—she was the least bad—and she said if I didn't do what they wanted, she wouldn't be able to protect me from—"
"Me," said a new voice, cold and vaguely amused. Gideon felt Jace's entire body go rigid beneath his hands, and he turned quickly, pushing the younger man behind him.
The man standing in the doorway with a widening, predatory grin on his face wore a long, grubby leather duster, and he was tossing a large knife from hand to hand. The fact that his right hand appeared to be a metal prosthetic wasn't slowing him down in the slightest. As Gideon heard Jace's terrified breathing speed up behind him and Jace clutched at his hand, he suddenly had a very strong suspicion he knew who was responsible for the white scars on Jace's back.
Ral tossed the flash drive back and forth from hand to hand as he waited, trying not to think. Though he hadn't told Gideon, he'd taken an extra 10 milligrams of amphetamine just to be more on his toes in case anything—went wrong. Not that anything was going to go wrong, he reassured himself. All he needed to do was keep Jace's abusive ex-girlfriend entertained for a few minutes while Gideon dragged their idiot boyfriend back to safety.
He'd been waiting for maybe a quarter of an hour when he saw her walking down the sidewalk toward the park entrance. She was holding a metal baseball bat loosely at her side, which was unlikely to be a good sign. Ral briefly considered leaving before she actually made it there, but then she might not stick around for long enough to give Gideon and Jace enough time to get away.
"Hey," he said as she stalked across the tennis court toward him. "I've been waiting for you."
"Give me that flash drive," she said, her grip on the bat tightening.
"What, you think I have everything here?" Ral asked. "I'm not completely stupid, you know. I've got backups. This is just to show you I actually know what I'm talking about."
Liliana's jaw worked angrily. "Who the fuck are you?" she spat.
Ral's grin widened. "Just an interested party," he shrugged. "So, are you willing to pay?"
"How do I know you won't ask me for anything else?"
"You don't. All you know is that if you don't pay me, you're fucked."
"Give me the flash drive. I want to make sure you're not just screwing with me." A little earlier than he would have liked, but never mind. He tossed the drive through the air toward her, and she caught it and looked it over, then nodded once, and tucked into her pocket. "Are you working for someone?" she asked. "You're just a college kid, aren't you?"
Ral shrugged. "Let's just say I know what I'm doing," he hedged, since he had no idea what the fuck he was doing.
He didn't like the way Liliana's eyes narrowed, and the corners of her lips tipped up slightly. And he especially did not like the way she tightened her grip on the bat. Time to leave, then. Gideon better have had enough time to get Jace out.
"Thinking of leaving?" Liliana said casually. "But I haven't even paid you yet."
"Then why would I be thinking of leaving?" Ral asked.
"That is exactly what I want to know," she responded. Another three steps brought her toward him before he could back away, and for a moment, they stared at one another. Then she swung the bat.
Somehow, despite the fact he'd been watching her since the moment she'd showed up, he hadn't actually expected the sudden attack, and he barely managed to dodge backward in time, flinging up an arm to protect his temple. Instead, there was a heavy crack as the bat smashed into his elbow. Ral gasped at the sudden shock, but the pain was all he needed to send him running down the path as fast as he could.
Fuck. This was not the way this was supposed to go. He didn't bother to look back over his shoulder; he knew she was chasing him. He couldn't go back to Gideon—if his boyfriend had managed to get Jace out, he wouldn't be there anymore, and if he hadn't, then Ral would be leading the crazy bitch right back to them. He was in the middle of a seedy residential area, and he didn't know whether anyone would respond to him pounding on the door and asking for help. Which meant there was only one place close enough for him to hope to be able to get the breathing space he'd need to call Gideon's damn cousin.
"Don't move, Jace, I'll deal with you in a minute." Tezzeret's icy voice was enough to freeze him in place, phantom pains shivering through the scars on his back. He'd never told anyone—not at the hospital, not during the police interrogation, not during therapy in the months following—how he'd received them, too afraid that if he'd said anything to implicate Tezzeret, the man would come back. Jace just wanted to move on with his life. And now it was as if no time had passed at all.
Gideon stepped in front of him. "We've leaving," he said, and Jace wanted to tell him no, wanted to tell him to leave without him, but all he could do was stand and try to breathe.
"No, you're not," Tezzeret said, still in that same cold voice. He lashed out with the knife, and Gideon barely danced out of the way in time. Jace stared in horror as the two began to circle one another, Gideon with both hands outstretched but weaponless in front of Tezzeret.
Gideon was going to die. Oh god, Tezzeret was going to stab him in front of Jace, because he'd come looking for Jace. He couldn't let that happen. He had to do something. He had to stop the scene from playing out any further. But Tezzeret's words held him rooted and frozen to the spot, unable to move, almost unable to breathe, nothing but a mute, terrified witness to the events about to transpire.
Tezzeret slashed forward with the knife again.
Ral's breathing was painful as he shouldered open the door of the theater with his good arm. Thank god it wasn't locked. The door reverberated against the wall, and he heard Liliana's footsteps close behind him. He just needed a few minutes, dammit. Why the fuck had Jace decided to date an abusive asshole who could run quickly? It just wasn't fair.
He ducked sideways into the empty auditorium. No time to try to hide among the seats, not with the lights shining brightly down on the entire space. But if he made it to the fuse-box—
Panting, his elbow tucked painfully at his side, Ral put on an extra burst of speed. There it was. Fuck, he hoped that turning the lights off would pause her for a minute, because if not, he was going to be beaten to death with a fucking baseball bat. Which would be a really shitty way to die. Goddammit. He yanked open the fuse-box, slid his hand past the naked wires that still hadn't been fixed, and flipped all the switches. The lights went out, everything but the bright green glow of the emergency exit.
Used to navigating his way through this room in the semi-dark, Ral barely slowed down, barreling his way down the central aisle toward the orchestra pit, which he figured would be a good place to make his way through. He heard Liliana's footsteps halt as if uncertain, and then start moving again. Okay. He began to fumble for his pocket as he ran, and he caught his phone with the tips of his fingers as he clattered down the stairs into the orchestra pit. Then he tripped over an inconveniently-placed music stand, and the phone went spinning out of his grip. It skittered across the floor, shedding light in a trail as it went. Shit.
He stumbled after it, half expecting a baseball bat to the back of the head and was finally stretching his hand out for it, when there was a loud crackling snap. Ral grabbed his phone and looked back across the theater in time to see the electricity arcing through his pursuer, her body curved backward in an ugly bow from the fuse-box amid a shower of orange sparks.
As he lifted his phone to his ear, she was thrown backwards amid another puff of sparks, hitting the floor with a nasty crack. In the aftermath of the hiss of the naked wires in the fuse-box, the theater was eerily silent except for Ral's breathing and the ringing of his phone. "Hi," he said, in response to the operator's prompt. "Yeah, I'm at the Bluebox Theater. There's been an accident."
Gideon could smell sweat in his nostrils, and the sharp tang of metal. The point of the knife glinted in the light. Tezzeret moved like a fencer or a boxer—someone used to a single assailant—and Gideon studied the quiver of his muscles, feeling almost detached. He needed to get the knife away from him. That was the important thing right now. Just like sparring with Vinny.
Tezzeret circled him slowly, and Gideon hovered backward, away from the point of that knife. If he could get a piece of furniture between them, that would help. Give him a better vantage, maybe. He caught the warning tightening in Tezzeret's muscles barely in time, and dodged backward as the knife slashed at his face, but he landed clumsily, and pain shot through his ankle as it rolled. Managing to catch himself on the bed, this time he had nowhere to dodge as the knife stabbed downward, and all he could do was knock Tezzeret's arm to the side. The prosthetic was harder than he'd expected, and pain shot through the side of his arm, but the knife missed him and plunged into the bed beside his face.
He rolled to the side, kicking out with his right leg, which rammed into something soft. Tezzeret doubled over with a choked gasp, and Gideon followed up with an elbow to the side of his adversary's head, then made it to the side of the bed. He dropped onto the floor on his hands and knees, and was starting to get up when something smashed into his face. Gideon felt pain splinter through his nose as he was flung backward, tears springing to his eyes. He scrambled to get away, but his vision was blurry with pain, and his muscles didn't seem to be answering his brain quickly enough.
"Not bad," Tezzeret's voice said, still devoid of any strong emotion. "Not good enough, but not bad." Through the blurred haze in front of his eyes, Gideon made out the figure of the other man standing in front of him, the knife still out in his prosthetic arm. He tried to scoot backward and ran into something behind him. Dazed and in pain, he held up a hand to protect his face as Tezzeret raised the knife again.
There was a crunching noise. Gideon stared between his fingers as Tezzeret whirled around, followed by another sickening crunch, and then he went down. Jace, hair wild, blood spattering the front of his loose t-shirt, stood panting behind him, holding the remains of the laptop he'd smashed across the back and front of Tezzeret's head.
"Jesus," Gideon said limply, through the pain in his nose. "Good timing, Jace."
"Are you all right?" Jace's voice came out haltingly through gritted teeth. "Gideon, are you—" He winced and staggered over to the wall, leaning against it. The laptop slipped from his grip as his hands fell to his side. "Shit," he gasped, "that hurts like a bitch."
Despite the pain in his ankle and his head, Gideon was at his side almost instantly. "Jace, what's wrong?" he asked.
Jace swallowed, managing a smile. "Tezzeret was—really fast with his knife—" he panted.
"Shit," said Gideon, putting an arm under Jace and helping him toward the bed. "I'm going to call an ambulance. You're going to be fine, okay?"
Jace tried to nod. "Think I'm gonna throw up," he said miserably, reaching out a hand to brush across Gideon's face.
"It's going to be all right," Gideon said again, before flipping open his phone and dialing 911.
Ral sat exhaustedly on the curb of the sidewalk in front of the theater, waiting. He'd sent a text to Gideon, who said he'd be over shortly. The ambulance that had come to pick up Liliana was long gone, and Ral had managed to weasel out of any questions by dint of saying he had no idea who she was. She must have been trying to turn on the lights, that was all he knew. He'd been around the theater because he thought he'd left a textbook there the other day. Yeah, they'd been telling the maintenance staff for a while that the fuse-box was dangerous. There was a note on it, but she must not have been able to see it in the dark.
Gideon's car pulled up beside him, and Ral wrenched open the door to the passenger's side, looking around. Just Gideon in the car, with a swelling purple bruise on his face and a smudge of blood on one cheek. "Where's Jace?" he asked.
"Hospital," Gideon said shortly.
"What the hell?" Ral demanded, sliding in and slamming the door shut. "What's wrong with him?"
A muscle in Gideon's cheek twitched. "He got stabbed," he said, staring straight ahead.
"He what?" Ral felt a cold hand reach up and squeeze his stomach. "What the fuck were you doing over there? You were supposed to be protecting him! Jesus, Gideon."
"I know," Gideon said steadily, and Ral suddenly realized his boyfriend was close to tears. "It—whatever Jace was involved with when he was with Liliana, it was worse than we thought."
Ral put his head in his hands, then winced. "Yeah, I started to realize that when she took a baseball bat to my elbow," he said. "Christ. Is Jace—"
"I don't think it was bad," Gideon said heavily. "I don't know for sure. They wouldn't let me go with him."
As if on cue, Ral's phone started to ring. He picked up automatically, but didn't recognize the number. "Hello?" he said.
"Is this Ral Zarek?" said a female voice that sounded vaguely familiar.
"Yeah."
"This is Lavinia. Gideon's not picking up his phone. Is he all right?"
"He's fine," Ral said, glancing across to Gideon. "We're in his car. What's up?"
"Your friend Jace Beleren is at the hospital, and he's been asking after both of you. He's getting stitches right now, but the injury isn't serious. He'll probably be out in a few hours."
Ral let out a deep breath and nearly dropped his phone. "It's your cousin," he said to Gideon. "Jace is getting stitches, but it's not serious."
"Thank god," Gideon breathed.
"Can we see him?" Ral asked Lavinia.
"Yes," she said. "Go ahead and drive round to the hospital. He's going to need a lift home anyway, and I imagine he'd rather go with you two than with me."
"Okay," said Ral. "Thanks. I'll let Gideon know."
Ral hadn't been particularly religious in some time, but as he let the phone drop and turned to Gideon to kiss him on the cheek and gasp out the news, he still heard a whisper in his head murmuring the old familiar phrase, Modeh ani lifanecha, melech chai vikayam, she-he-chezarta bi nishmati be-chemla – raba emunatecha*.
*I thank You, living and eternal King, Who has returned my soul into me with compassion – great is Your faithfulness!
Jace thrashed his way back to consciousness with a sudden gasp and shout, sitting bolt upright in bed and then folding sideways over as pain shot through his side. "Fuck," he whimpered, gagging as nausea hit his stomach unexpectedly.
"He's going to throw up again," Ral's voice said a little sleepily. "Can you get the bucket, Gid?"
"Got it already." A metal salad bowl was thrust under Jace's nose, and he felt the rush of sweet-sour bile in his mouth before his stomach turned over. Gideon's hands were on his shoulders, and Ral's on his head, holding him steady as he vomited white bile. He'd long since emptied his stomach of anything else.
"Goddammit," he said weakly. "This hasn't happened since—" he paused, shut his eyes, but the images still danced in front of them, and he opened them quickly. "—since the last time Tezzeret and I had a—disagreement."
"It's okay," Gideon said, stroking his back. "You're safe, Jace." Slowly, Jace felt the tension beginning to ebb out of his body as he reminded himself that he was safe in Gideon's apartment, with both of his boyfriends curled around him. But tomorrow yawned darkly in front of him. Tomorrow he had to go to court and testify against Tezzeret and Liliana. Probably Bolas as well.
"I know," Jace said, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. "It's just—a lot to deal with. I don't think I ever really processed a lot of it in the first place." He leaned against Gideon, who shifted slightly with a pained exclamation. "Sorry," Jace exclaimed, remembering the broken foot just a fraction of a second too late. "Sorry, I'm…I'm really sorry." He covered his face with his hands, trying to mute the stream of apologies.
"Hey," said Gideon. "Hey, it's okay, Jace." Ral didn't say anything, just kissed the back of Jace's neck.
"It was, um, about four hours, I think," Jace said, again wanting to shut his eyes, but knowing that he'd see it if he did.
"Huh?" Ral asked.
Jace took a deep, shuddering breath. "The first time Tezzeret took a knife to my back," he said quietly. "He started early afternoon, and it was dinnertime by the time he—stopped. I'd fucked up badly. I think I'd said to Liliana that I didn't want to do it anymore."
"Jesus," Ral said. "Jace, you don't have to—"
"Someone should know," Jace replied. "You should know. Both of you. And I'm going to have to say this in court anyway. Statute of limitations isn't up or anything." He managed a soft laugh at the meager joke and put his arms around his knees. "I don't know if you guys know, but, um, my parents have been dead for a while. So I've been in and out of foster care. I met Liliana when I was sixteen."
"I should have gone over and shoved those wires up her ass," growled Ral. "I should have—" He went quiet as Gideon nudged him.
"I was actually taking classes here," Jace said speculatively. He was cold, and the world was strangely distant, as if he were staring through a window, a thin glass sheet between him and his friends, between him and everything. "I ended up failing both of them, of course. I stopped going to class. Tried to get out a few times, and, like I said—Tezzeret—um—" He pressed his hand to his mouth. "It really hurt," he choked out. "It really, really—"
His face was wet, and his throat hurt, and he was frightened now, the glass wall shattered already and nothing but sharp shards around him. Gideon made a gentle shooshing noise. "He can't hurt you anymore, Jace."
"You practically knocked his fucking head off," Ral agreed savagely. "If he gets within ten miles of you ever again, I'll finish the job. I promise." Tangled in the sheets, Jace struggled to keep breathing, struggled to nod.
"Okay," said Gideon. "That's enough, Jace, you're starting to panic. You're going to be fine tomorrow. You're going to be fine."
There were tears gathering in his eyes, but his face was already wet. Jace nodded, fighting the urge to hide his face in Gideon's shoulder like a child. "Yeah," he said softly. "Of course I will."
The sea of faces in front of him seemed to writhe and blur as Jace stepped onto the witness stand. In an attempt to battle the rising panic, he'd taken one of Ral's buspar tablets in the morning, but he'd also thrown up three times since taking it, so he wasn't sure if it was doing anything.
He blinked rapidly, trying to get his eyes to focus, but that was worse, because now he could see Liliana and Tezzeret looking up at him. Liliana's expression was angry, but Tezzeret's was worse—blank, cold, and impersonal. Jace choked on the bile in the back of his throat, aware that his hands were shaking, and just barely aware that the prosecutor was asking him something. Asking for his testimony with regards Tezzeret and Liliana.
He knew what he was supposed to say. He had practiced this at least a dozen times in the mirror this morning alone. But when he opened his mouth to actually say it, nothing came out but a breath of soundless air. And he couldn't shut his eyes to block them out, because if he shut his eyes, he would be back there, listening to the sound of his own screams and sobs in his ears, and then he would never be able to give his testimony.
Time stretched long, so long, the sounds of voices hollow and tinny in his ears. One heartbeat, two, three. His eyes trailed up to the white-and-black clock above the room. It seemed to have stopped, as if time itself was just waiting for him to make a decision.
His eyes trailed over the jury box, and then down across the spectators. And there they were. Ral and Gideon, right in the front row, Ral scrunched up on the bench and leaning forward, Gideon with a hand on his shoulder. Ral's face bore a look of intense concentration. If he gets within ten miles of you again, I'll finish the job. I promise. Gideon—Gideon was just an encouraging well of calm. You're going to be fine. Another jolt of adrenaline ran through Jace, his mind flashing quickly back to the sharp, bright knife, and Gideon dancing desperately backwards out of the way.
He opened his mouth and began to speak.
Ral and Gideon were waiting for him at the end of the day. "You were fucking amazing," Ral told him fiercely, and then Ral's hands were on his waist and his shoulder, and Ral's lips were on his, and Jace's mouth was open because Ral's tongue was inside it, and he really had not expected to feel this amazing at any point today.
"Let him breathe," Gideon rumbled, but he was laughing, and he slung an arm around Jace as well, pressed his lips to the top of Jace's head. Dizzily, Jace found himself bucking slightly again Ral's thigh.
"No, no," he gasped as Ral pulled back. "I needed this so fucking badly you don't even know."
Because it felt normal. Finally, after all the weeks of frustration and anger and terror, after last night when even with Ral and Gideon it felt as if the walls were going to close in and crush him, this moment, right here, this was normal. He knew it wasn't going to last. The trial would drag on, and he was going to have insomnia for weeks, he'd probably have to go back to therapy, and he'd spend more time panicking, but—it could happen. It could come back. Things could be okay again. Things would be okay again.
"How about needing fucking so badly we just don't know?" Ral suggested, with a lewd grin.
"Ral," Gideon groaned.
"I don't know," Jace said thoughtfully. "I mean, I'm still pretty delicate. Maybe I should just watch you two go at it." Ral burst out laughing, and Gideon turned slowly red. Jace managed a grin at both of them. "Just hold me," he continued quietly, and they did.
