A/N: Disclaimer: Pretty much everything belongs to JK Rowling.
James Potter stood at the edge of the lake on the south side of the Hogwarts grounds thinking about the last seven years.
Seven years? Was that really all? It seemed like to small of a time period. There was just so much to remember. So much had happened, so many things and people had changed, that seven years certainly couldn't have been all the time they'd had spent here together.
And now James had to find a way to say goodbye to all of it.
And it wasn't even just the school he was saying goodbye to, either. This was the end of a lot of things. The next two days marked the end of the past, the end of many friendships—although not some of the more important ones—the end of James' days as a teenage prankster, as a Marauder—at least in the strictest sense—and the end of chasing after Lily. He wasn't just a little kid anymore.
He would miss her, of course. She had been one of the most important people in his life, all through Hogwarts. She was almost as important to him as the Marauders. But he would still see them at least once a month. But Lily? He would probably never see her again, and if he did it would be in passing.
He would really, really miss Lily. He would miss her smile, and her laugh, and her eyes, and the way she fought with him like it was the most important thing in the world. The way she cheered for him at Quidditch matches, the only time she ever acknowledged that he was good at something other than getting in trouble.
It was strange to think of letting go of Lily. After chasing her for seven years, being rejected by her and never giving up, he had just assumed that he would always be around. She was a constant. He had only lately realized that they would be going their separate ways very soon. Too soon, really.
James sat down and sighed. He took off his shoes and socks and dangled his feet into the water of the lake. He thought idly for a moment, letting his mind wander and his thoughts get all jumbled—random facts for N.E.W.T.S. (he was fairly certain he had passed them all), wondering where the lake monster was, thoughts of his father—and then he looked at the tree a few feet away from the lake. It had people's initials carved into it, initials of couples who had been together for years and some that had only been together a few days.
What if he had managed to get Lily to go out with him? Would they have stayed together? Would he have gotten bored and broken up with her? Would she have wanted to stay with him? Would their initials be on that tree right now?
It didn't matter. It couldn't be changed now.
James picked a flower that was so close to the lake it was almost in the water. He couldn't remember the name of it, probably because he hadn't paid nearly enough attention in Herbology. He knew that Lily loved it, though. Of course, Lily loved all kinds of plants. She would probably be able to tell him everything about the flower, from its name to where and by whom it was discovered.
He would have to stop thinking about her, of course. He knew that for certain. And he'd have to think of a good way to say goodbye. She had been so much more to him than just a crush. Hell, she had almost been a friend. They were on the same side, after all. And she had been around so much, she had almost become one of them, one of the Marauders. She already knew Lupin's secret, which was really the only thing that set the Marauders apart from their other friends, anyway.
James stood up then, with a plan in mind. He really didn't think he could face her again without losing his nerve, so he had figured out a way to say goodbye without ever seeing her again, face to face. It involved the invisibility cloak, which, not that he thought of it, was right in his school bag.
But as he turned around to head back into the school, flower in hand, he realized his plan wouldn't work after all. Because Lily was standing there, watching him, from next to the tree just a few feet away.
"Hey," he said without really thinking about it.
"You stole my spot," she said in reply, staring at him with those magnificently beautiful green eyes.
"What?"
"This is my favorite place to come and think," she said, "And I've made it a tradition to come here every year just before the feast. So what are you doing out here?"
"Thinking," he said simply.
"About what?"
"You, mostly."
Lily looked down at her feet, but James could tell she was blushing. "Potter, if this is some last minute attempt to…"
He interrupted her. "It's not, Lily, it's not. I just thought you should know."
"It's…not?" she asked, sounding confused and, unless he was mistaken, a little hurt.
James sighed and shook his head, running his fingers through his hair. "Nothing will ever change how much I love you Lily. You know that. But you won't ever feel the same way. And even if you did, it still wouldn't work out."
"Why not?" she asked, trying hard to make it seem like she was simply just curious.
James looked away, towards the lake. "I'm going to try and fight him."
"Who?" Lily asked, and her eyes widened as she started to understand. "You aren't serious."
"I am." He risked a glance at her. Her expression had changed from shocked to angry in a matter of seconds.
"No," she said firmly.
He raised his eyebrows at her challenge. "You really think you can tell me what to do?"
"No," she said, her expression softer now, "I'm just hoping I can convince you not to do something so stupid."
He looked at her again, staring straight into her emerald green eyes, which held so much sadness and hope that he almost decided to tell her right then that he'd changed his mind. But then he closed his eyes and breathed deeply in and out before saying, "I have to try."
She sighed and shook her head. "So that's it then?"
"What?"
"You're just going to give up on me? After all this time? Just so that you can fight a battle you're sure to lose?"
James turned away, angry now. "And what do you expect me to do? Sit around waiting for you, when we both know it'll never happen?"
Lily was silent for a minute and James turned to face her again, his anger disappearing when he saw how embarrassed she looked.
"You should never give up on something you've already worked so hard for."
Lily was almost crying then, and James couldn't stand to see her that way. He closed the distance between them and hugged her tightly. She cried quietly into his chest.
"I've just lost so many people already," she said between sobs. "I don't want to lose you too."
James sighed. She was making this so much more difficult than it had to be. "Lily, please," he said, as gently as he could.
She pushed herself away from him. "I'm sorry," she muttered, while she rubbed the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand, obviously embarrassed about her own outburst. "It's just been so difficult lately, I've been acting a little crazy. Everything is just so…"
"I understand."
"You aren't making it any easier, you know," she said, trying to sound angry. "And the worst part is that you don't even know what you're doing wrong."
"What am I doing wrong?" he asked.
"Changing. I don't like the new, responsible James Potter. What happened to the old James? The one that loved to laugh and argue and played Quidditch like his life depended on it." If he didn't know any better, he would say that she actually looked nostalgic.
"The James that would literally chase me around the school just to ask me out and played pranks on unsuspecting first years." She walked towards him with a devilish grin on her face. When she was right in front of him she rapped her knuckles on his forehead. "You are still in there, aren't you Potter?"
To say that James cracked a smile would be a huge understatement. His face broke out into a grin so wide that even his eyes seemed to light up and it was impossible to imagine that he had looked so solemn just a few moments ago. He picked up her hand in both of his and said, in the most goofy voice he could muster, "Well, of course, I'm still here Lily dearest. And if you really like me that much, maybe you would find it appropriate to, I don't know, go out with me?"
"Of course not, you git. Why would I ever want to go out with you?"
"Oh come now, Flower," he said, putting his hands—still holding hers, by the way—over his heart, "You are ruining my self-esteem."
Lily tugged on her hand, trying to free herself from his grip, but he was too strong. He laughed at her, and pulled her hand up to his face so that he could kiss her knuckles. She, of course, pulled at her hand, knocking him off balance so that he crashed into her and they both fell back against the tree. Both of them were laughing by then.
"Lily Evans, I think I love you," James said between fits of laughter.
"Of course you would say that, Potter. Had to just ruin the moment, didn't you?" But she was laughing too.
And then he leaned down and kissed her. It wasn't anything extraordinary, just enough to be a kiss. Their first. And secretly, they were both hoping it would be the first of many.
And then they both gathered up their things and headed inside for the end-of-the-year feast, hand-in-hand, as it should have been all along. But not before they had carved their initials into the tree.
A/N:This is my second Harry Potter fan fiction, so, you know, there's definitely room for improvement. PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE REVIEW!!!!!
