Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Andrew W. Marlowe, though they have found their own way into my heart.
How could he have lost her? Idiot, idiot! One minute she was there, the next she'd vanished. And she shouldn't be alone right now, she most definitely shouldn't be alone. When Captain Gates called them to her office, she'd asked for both of them. That was the first sign that what she had to say was big. When they'd walked into her office and saw Esposito and Ryan already standing there, their faces somber… They didn't expect this kind of news today; they didn't expect them at all, really. Almost 14 years of nothing, and out of nowhere, Bang!
His heart started pounding inside his chest, a ringing sound filled his ears, his vision blurred a little around the edges… And if he was feeling like this, then… What about her? Without looking, he reached to her, found her hand, took it in his. She didn't react at his touch. She felt cold, he could feel her trembling. He shifted his gaze to her. Her eyes were blank, staring at nothing. Her face was ashen pale, all blood drawn away from her skin. Her breathing was shallow, her chest rising and falling unevenly.
"Mr. Castle," Captain Gates' voice sounded far away. A hand touched his shoulder. He looked up behind him.
"Castle…, you should take her home," Esposito murmured, his face serious. It took a minute to register. He rose from his chair, tugging gently at her hand.
"Kate, come on," he whispered. His voice was a little husky, his throat felt dry.
She didn't move, at all. He took hold of her elbows and slowly got her on her feet. He put an arm around her waist and walked her out to the bull pen. He stopped by her desk, well, the one that had been her desk until four weeks ago; and got her purse and blazer. They took the elevator down. She didn't speak. It was as if she wasn't even there. Her eyes were empty, didn't focus onto anything. It seemed as if she was far away, drawn so deep inside her mind, somewhere where nobody could reach her. A ghost.
He dragged her outside and looked around for a cab. As he held up the arm that carried her things, her purse fell to the floor. The zipper was half open, so everything spilled out. He let her go, for just one second, to crouch down and gather up her stuff. When he stood up again, she was gone. He spun around, darted his eyes in every direction, looking for a glimpse of her hair, of her navy blue blouse, but she'd just vanished. He immediately reached for his phone and speed dialed her number. Her cell rang inside her purse, in his arms. Damn! He ran inside the precinct. Maybe she'd gotten back in. He asked the duty officer there if he'd seen her come in. The man shook his head. He was starting to feel dizzy, he couldn't breathe, his heart pounded in his ears. Where would she go? He hurried back outside and hailed a cab.
When he arrived at her building, he walked inside the lobby and, thank god, found the super there.
"Have you seen Detective Beckett?" he asked breathless.
"Good morning Mr. Castle! Yes, she's upstairs. She'd lost her keys, so I let her into her apartment." He was rushing and getting inside the elevator before the super had finished talking.
"Thank you," he called before the elevator doors shut.
Reaching her floor, he crossed the hall in five long strides, knocked on the door and waited for a moment.
"Kate!" he knocked again, louder. She didn't open.
He reached inside her purse and found her keys. "Kate! I'm coming in!" He turned the key in the lock and pushed the door. It cracked open a couple of inches, then stopped. She'd attached the security chain.
"Kate, open the door," he called. "Let me in!" He waited for 20 seconds, but didn't hear a thing. "Dammit Kate! If you don't open up, I swear I'm kicking the door down!" he yelled, then took in a deep breath to calm himself. "Please, Kate," he whispered. "Just…, please," he pleaded, his voice trembling with desperate tears.
The door closed. He heard as she removed the chain; then nothing. He turned the knob and slowly pushed the door open. He walked inside. She stood behind the door, her eyes were red, and all her frame was slightly shaking. He dropped her things on the floor and wrapped his arms around her at the same moment that she collapsed into him. She started sobbing so hard she couldn't stand on her feet. He scooped her up in his arms and walked into the living room. He sat down on the couch and settled her on his lap. Her arms wrapped around his neck, her face pressed to his shoulder. He held her close to him, rubbing her back soothingly, and just let her cry her sorrow out of her system, get out all the feelings she'd buried deep inside for 14 years. Soon his shirt was damp with her tears, her whimpers filled his ears. He felt his own eyes water, a tear or two rolled down his cheek and fell on her hair. She started shivering so he reached for a blanket hanging over the arm of the couch and put it around her.
After half an hour, she grew quiet, just a small sob or hiccup every few minutes. Her breathing slowed, her grip on the collar of his shirt loosened, and she finally drifted into sleep. He waited for a few minutes, then pulled her in his arms and carried her to her bedroom. He gently laid her on the bed and covered her with the comforter. Bending down, he softly rubbed his thumb under her eyes and wiped the tears away. He pushed her hair, damp with sweat and tears, aside from her forehead and feathered his lips over her temple. All energy had drained from her body, leaving her completely exhausted. Closing the blinds, he tiptoed out of the bedroom and cracked the door. He leaned against the door frame, closed his eyes and let out a long deep sigh. The worst part was over, he thought, he hoped. He checked his watch; almost noon. He pulled the phone out of his pocket and texted the boys telling them she was okay, given the circumstances. He filled a glass with water and left it beside her on the nightstand.
He slumped on the couch, and his eyelids slowly closed… The ringing of her cell brought him back from his slumber. He stumbled to the front door and fished her phone out of her purse. The word DAD read on the screen. Oh man! How could he have forgotten her father? He answered before the ringing phone could wake her.
"Hi Jim," his voice sounded dry; he cleared his throat.
Jim had just heard the news from Captain Gates, and he wanted to know how his daughter was doing.
"She's asleep now." He told her dad she'd taken the news bad, and apologized for not calling sooner. Jim thanked him for taken care of her and made him promise to call him as soon as she woke up. Rick said he would.
He wandered back to the couch and was asleep in no time…
His eyes flew open at the sound of a door closing. The light in the room had changed and the apartment was getting darker. It was a little past six in the afternoon. He heard a toilet flushing, feet shuffling over the floor. When he peeked inside her bedroom, she was already back in her bed, the sheets pulled up over her head.
"Kate," he whispered and crouched next to her. "You should eat something…, you haven't had anything since this morning." He waited for a full minute, but she didn't respond, so he left the room.
An hour later, she still hadn't come out or shown any signs of life. He was growing restless. He got his phone and called her father; Jim said he'd be there in 15 minutes. While he waited, he made a couple of sandwiches and some tea. Someone knocked softly.
"Thank you for coming, I'm so sorry Jim," he said as he shook the man's hand.
"Thank you Rick, I appreciate it." Jim walked inside and closed the door. In the living room he turned to face Rick. "How is she doing?" Jim asked, his eyes showing concern.
He ran a hand through his hair. "She…, I don't know," his voice broke. "She hasn't eaten or drunk anything. She hasn't said a word since this morning…" he trailed off.
"Why don't I try, alright?" Jim patted Rick's shoulder. He nodded in response, grateful. He handed Jim a sandwich and a cup of tea, and watched him walk into her bedroom.
The room was dimly lit with the light pouring in from the living room. Jim set the food and tea on the nightstand, and sat on the bed next to her figure. He pulled the sheets down and brushed his hand over her hair. She was lying on her stomach, her face pressed to the pillow.
"Katie?" he whispered. She stirred at the sound of her dad's voice. She turned, sat up and threw her arms around her father. He wrapped his arms tightly around her as she started to cry again.
"Dad," she sobbed.
"Sssh…, it's over sweetie," he tried to soothe her. "It's over now… Everything will be alright."
He sat on an armchair. He heard whispers coming from her bedroom, but couldn't make out the words. It may not feel like it now, but in a few days, in a few weeks, everything would be fine again.
It was finally over. They had been caught, her mom's murderers. After 14 years, the people responsible had been caught and her mother's murder was finally solved. All the victims would get justice, and Kate would finally be able to move on and be happy.
He jumped to his feet when Jim came out of her room. His face was dark, he looked tired. It must be a hard day for him too.
"She fell asleep again," Jim told him. "I got her to eat something…" he sighed. "She'll be alright. She just needs you to be there." Jim paused, then continued, "She's been carrying so much weight on her shoulders for so many years… It's all come out today."
"Thank you," he murmured relieved.
"Alright, call me if you need anything." They walked to the front door. Jim stepped into the hallway and turned. "Rick, thank you for being there for her. You're good for her." Jim took a step closer and gave him a hug. Pulling back, he held him by his arms, "Thank you son. I'll call her in the morning." And he left.
Back in the living room, he called his mother and told her what had happened. He asked her if she could come over and drop some clothes for him. She got there in 20 minutes.
"Oh my boy!" she pulled him in a tight hug and then cradled his face. "How is she?"
"I think the worst is over," he shrugged. "She just needs some rest."
"So do you kid." She stared into his eyes, then added. "Take good care of her darling, she needs you more than anything else right now. And get some sleep." She hugged him again and kissed his cheek goodbye.
He changed into something more comfortable and walked into her bedroom. He could hear her deep slow breathing. He lay next to her, careful not to hustle the mattress and wake her. She stirred and snuggled next him, laying her head on his shoulder and pressing her face into the crook of his neck. He held her close to him and kissed her forehead.
"Thank you," she whispered against his skin, her voice hoarse from so much crying.
"Everything is going to be alright," he murmured in her hair.
"Don't leave me," she said, a hint of tremor in her tone. He wrapped his other arm around her, pulling her even closer.
"Never… I love you."
So, I hope you liked it. Forgive me for any mistake you may have found. Thank you!
