New story based on Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging by Louise Rennison. Wonderful book. It's British. And I'm American. So the original is funnier than my Glee spoof of it.
I don't own Glee. Or the book above. Yup.
Hope you enjoy. Review?
Hello, future obsessive fans! (Once I'm on Broadway or have designed my own clothing line-or both!- then you all will be fans; I will have to beat you off with my stylish walking stick and/or cane.)
Anyway, I am writing you this letter from my bedroom in the most exciting place in the universe: Lima, Ohio. WTF, right? Where is that? Well, you could try looking it up, and you would find it, but it is not worth the effort. Here is my point: unless you speak Cleveland'ese you may not understand what I'm going on about in this book. Well, join the club, I say! How do you think I feel? I am me, and I never understand what I'm going on about.
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However, I hope you enjoy my diary.
Looooooooooooooooove,
Kurt
Sunday August 23
11:35 am
There are six things horribly wrong with my life:
1) My nightly skin routine has failed me, for I have developed a zit!
2) It is on my nose.
3) My father decided to be nice and do my laundry, but mixed my white and colored clothing.
4) In fourteen days, summer will be over, and it will be back to school with sadistic teachers and peers who enjoy torturing me.
5) I have nothing to wear. Ever.
6) No one knows I'm gay.
Same Day
4:00 pm
Mercedes came over. We decided we would discuss the costume party incident. Trust Rachel to throw an awful party.
"I mean, Rachel didn't even dress up! She said she was Barbara Streisand!" I exclaimed in all my fabulousness.
"Ooooh, boy! She was trippin!" My bff agreed. I knew I loved that girl for a reason. Just not the one everyone thought I did...
She said I looked super hot in the skin tight cat suit I wore to the Rachel's costume party, but when I had to pee half way through the party, I had to ask her for help. Of course people heard us grunting and making apparently very sexual noises in the bathroom trying to get it off. The costume- I mean. Once I had finished relieving myself, we exited the bathroom to the sight of the entire glee club standing around the door. Laughing. "Wanky." Santana added. Ugh. Kill me now. I will never be able to show my face in public again. At least, my secret is safe for now.
Please review and lemme know whatcha think!
