I know I'm dead.

As soon as they announced that the Quarter Quell would be all girls I knew I was going to be picked. It was just a gut feeling of dread. I still don't know how I know but I just do.

For a moment I just stare at the screen. The symbol of Panam flashes across and I still haven't moved. My mother clicks off the TV but I still stare. She leans down next to me and puts a hand on my shoulder, I still don't move.

"I'm-I'm sure y-you won't g-get p-picked." She stutters. My mother has never been very strong minded, and when my father died she lost it and developed a stutter. Some days she won't even get out of bed from sorrow.

I nod my head in a daze. I still refuse to look at my mother though. I stand and my mother pushes herself to her feet with my help. I have become a source of help for her, without me, she would most likely die. From sorrow, lack of food, and maybe the lost will to live.

I help my mother into bed and pull my coat on.

"I'm going out." I say.

"Where?" my mother grumbles. Her eyes are closed and she shifts the blankets around her to make herself warm.

"To Avil's house." I say. Avil is my very best friend. I have known her since I was two. We do everything together. Since she's also a girl she may be going into the Games with me.

Mother grunts her approval and I soon hear her soft snoring filling the little house.

I trudge out into the snow. I look back at our little house. It's so pitiful and small I don't know how I have managed to live there for my whole life. It isn't much more than a cottage.

I have to trudge all the way around the square where they are already setting up for the reaping. They work fast! When I do reach Avil's house I have to knock four times before Avil's father opens up.

"Ah Ember! Come in!" Avil's father isn't very tall or strong. He owns a small shoe shop in town that makes them only enough money to scrape by with. Avil is one of six children and her mother is very sick. They live in a house maybe a foot bigger than the one that can only hold my mother and me.

When I enter the first thing I see is Avil's little brothers sitting in a circle around Avil. They all play with her hair and skirts as she tells them stories. When I enter I wait for her to finish and clap politely with her brothers when she finishes.

She looks up and smiles her small smile. Shy and small, Avil is nothing like me. I am big and outgoing, with what people politely call 'a large personality and huge fist'. It's true that I don't get along with many people.

One of the reasons that I befriended Avil was because she was so small and helpless that I couldn't help but feel sorry for her when people bullied her. Finally I couldn't stand it when an older girl was harassing her. I lost it and beat her up. Now no one dares to come close to being mean to either of us. I've become the guard of Avil and in turn she calms me down when I get all mad at the capitol. Sometimes I think she saves me from being thrown into prison.

Avil stands and hugs me and all her brothers' dance around my knees. Deven is her youngest brother, he's three and Heve is her second oldest brother who's nine. Avil is the oldest at six teen like me. Amern and Tomes are twins and are five. And Ophen is seven going on eight. They're all a sorry lot, with arms like twigs and gaunt faces that never have emotion unless Avil or I am there. They have come to think of me as their second sister which only makes me sadder, if I'm chosen they'll feel like they just lost their family.

"Are you scared?" Avil asks me after I have said my hellos to all the little boys and they have gone off to play in the corner with their father.

"No, but I do feel like I'll get picked." I say. Avil's shoulders visibly sag. She knows that I have very good instincts. I'm almost never wrong.

"I hope you don't!" he voice squeaks painfully on the last word and she hugs me fretfully. Her head only comes up to my collar bone. This is the girl I have been protecting since I was two. Who I have taught to hunt and keep her family going; Who I have helped when she was in need of money or food. I can't help it; I let a few of my tears fall.

"If I do, I don't want you to be sad." I say. I push her away from me and stare her right in the eyes. Her perfect hazel eyes.

"How can I not?" she asks. "You're the only one who has ever been nice to me besides my family." I know it's true and I don't know what to tell her. We both know perfectly well that no one has ever shown any hope in either of us. I was always too violent and she was always too small. When she hunts she throws knives that only hit their target every two tries while I use a spear and sword. When I shoot knives I always hit my mark. That's why I always bring meat to their family. Avil's father tries to refuse, but he knows that they need to food and I need the practice. So they let me.

"Just… please be strong. For me? And my mother? And all of your brothers." I say. There. I'll put the guilt on her. I don't like doing that, but I need her to do this for me.

She solely nods her head and I see her face is wet with tears. This time when she hugs me I don't push her away.

Later when I leave all her brothers say good bye and cry some too. As if they know that it is most likely he last time I'll ever see them.

"Promise me that you'll come back." Tomes stands there with his head down, looking detected. His big chubby cheeks puff out at the side and his huge blue eyes have watery tears. I pause a moment. So they do know that I'm going into the games.

I kneel down so that his big eyes are level with mine.

"I promise." I whisper. His blue eyes shine with hope and he leaps into my arms. I take in the smell of his hair. He is so small, barely two feet tall. I could throw him around in a sack. When I put him down his eyes are still bright like I have never seen them.

I give Avil one last hug and leave. Tomorrow I will most likely be on my way to the Capitol. Away from my family and home. Away from everything I have ever loved.

Chapter 2:

I wake with Mother shaking me feverishly. I groan and roll over. I was having a wonderful dream about me leading a rebellion to defeat the Capitol. And when I remember what today is I don't feel any better. I groan again as I'm jostled awake. I open my eyes groggily. The morning sun light streams through the window and hurts my eyes.

Mother is standing over me. She looks worse than usual and has red puffy eyes. She is hunched over so that I only catch glimpses of her face. She does this every reaping. Tries not to make me feel bad by not looking at me. It only makes me feel worse.

"H-here's y-y-your d-dress. Breakfast i-is on t-the t-table." She shoves a dark red dress at me. It's low cut neckline means it was made for someone with a lot of money. There are silk ribbons running around it in swirling patters. "I'll d-do your h-hair if-if y-you want?" she offers. She lays the dress down at the foot of my bed.

"Yes, please." I say. I haven't said 'please' in years and the sudden kindness makes mother smile. If only a little.

I get dressed quickly and apply my usual dark colors to my face. I sit at the small table as Mother does up my hair in a beautiful braid.

I stare at my sharp features in the hand mirror. My blue eyes are bright like the sky and my long blond hair is wavy, but now, up in a beautiful braid you would think it was flat as a pancake. My pure white skin doesn't convey that I am really from the Seam. I look like I could be from the Capitol. I hate my appearance. Looking like a Capitol person is not a compliment for me.

When Mother is done she steps back to admire her handy work.

"Y-you l-l-look like m-me when I w-was y-your age." She says. A wistful look crosses her face.

I smile. It's times like these when my mother looks like she did before Father died. Young and beautiful.

We make our way to the square slowly. Mother holds onto me for support. She has on her best dress, a blue one, nothing special but she looks regale in it. When we reach the town square we sit next to Avil and her mother. She doesn't look well. She hasn't been out of bed in months and she shouldn't be here. She is so sick. I feel like punching something. Avil senses this and puts a hand on top of mine. She shakes her head no. and I listen. I don't hurt anything and nothing hurts me. Good.

Finally everyone is here and Mata Evenment stands up. Her blue high heels click loudly and her yellow hair bounces around when she walks. She has a very loud voice that squeaks on every other syllable.

"Welcome Welcome!" she says.

"I don't know what's so welcome about it." I whisper to Avil. She giggles and mother shakes her head no.

"Well then! Let's do this!" she reaches her hand into the first reaping ball. I'm not surprised when she calls my name. " Ember Atectle!"

Mother stares at me horrified. Avril doesn't meet my eyes, neither does anyone else as I make my way up to the stage. All the cameras are trained on me. I see all the other girls in my class huff in breaths as I walk by. Prates.

"Ok!" Mata drills on when I get up onto the stage. "Next!" she makes a big show of reaching in the reaping ball and pulling out the second name. When she does my heart sinks to my toes."Avil Severy!"

Chapter 3:

I look at Avil and she looks purely horrified. Terrified, and worst, like she wants to die. Her mother starts to cry as well as the rest of her family. My mother has been crying for the past five minutes.

"Oh! No crying! Come up here!" Mata puts on a fake pout and ushers Avil up the steps. I still just look on with my mouth agape. Avil stands shakily. I snap back to life and start down the steps but a big Peacekeeper stands in my way.

"I'm not trying to run away you basterd!" I say and push by him roughly. I go back into the crowd with two peace keepers trailing behind me. I pull Avil out of the crowd and propel her back up onto the stage. The peacekeepers shrug and go back to their spots by the stairs.

We are told to shake hands and I shake Avil's with vigor. Her small, little, clammy hand fits perfectly in my long slim fingers. Fingers that may have to strangle her in the next week. No. if Avil dies I will not be the one killing her.

We are then escorted off the stage and into the Justice Building. Where we are told to wait for our families and friends to see us. The only people who will see me is Mother and maybe Avil's little brothers. Not much but it means a lot for me.

The first person in to see me is Mother. No surprise. She is leaning on a huge Peacekeeper and I take her from the door and sit her down in a chair next to the fire. She hugs me fiercely.

"B-be good a-and s-stay alive." She says in my hair. I start to cry. I haven't cried in more years than I can count, no, when Father died I cryed my eyes out. But it's too sad that I may never see my poor mother again. And she may see me die for people's amusement. The basterds.

"You too." I say when I gain myself again. I pull away and wipe my tears as the peacekeeper comes back and takes her away. That will not be the last time I see her I decide. I will make it out.

Next to see me is Avil's family. Her mother is laid down on the couch and she goes to sleep. I don't mind. Her brothers swarm me with hugs and whispers of 'good luck and make sure my sister comes out alive' finally I'm left with Tomes.

"You promised me that you'll make it out." He pouts. "You better keep your promise. And make sure my sister makes it out too." I lean down again and ruffle his hair.

"I never break my promises." I say. It's true. I've never broken a promise my whole life. I don't intend to break this one. Especially to Tomes.

When Avil's family is gone I'm allowed a few minutes to dry my tears and make myself presentable for the cameras. My make-up has run down my face so I wipe it up quickly. I must look confident and strong. It I don't, how do I look?

When I get out of my room I meet with Avil. She looks like she's about to burst into tears. I take her hand and squeeze it affectionately. She offers a small smile but lets a tear fall.

When the doors open I step out to meet the flashes and reporters with a smile. Avil tries, but her smiles look forced. We walk in silence but I still smile. After a moment Avil gives up and just looks sad. Finally Mata and our mentor come out to get us to the train quicker.

Our mentor's name is Wemly. He's tall and lean, with big muscles and bald head. He has a chubby face and large brown eyes. I can only picture this guy winning by seeing him strangle everyone to death.

They board us and hurry us into our rooms. The train takes off at full speed and I'm knocked off my feet.

My room is large-ish, with dark blue walls and a double bed. There is a big chest at the foot of my bed, a big wardrobe at one end and a burro next to it. Over to the left is a bathroom with a shower that has more nobs and switches than I have ever seen. I undress and get into some pants and a blue silk top. There is a knock on the door.

"Token?" a peacekeeper asks. I think for a moment then hand over my charm bracelet. It's only got an 'E' on it and a fist charm but I like it. Simple. Just the way I like it.

He takes it and walks off down the hall at the end he turns back and says.

"Dinner in ten minutes." And slams the door behind him. It makes me jump, but I go back inside and finish dressing. I pull on some high brown boots and braid my hair over my shoulder. I finally think I can go to dinner without looking to shabby.

I enter the hall just as Avil shuts her door. She has on a plain brown dress and her red hair is in a high pony-tail. She still looks like she has been crying.

We walk to the dining car together in silence. When we enter everyone is already sitting and eating. I load up my plate with a pasta and red sauce. When I sit I dig in, I stuff myself with three plates. Avil consumes six. All the time Mata is looking at us like we are wild animals.

When everyone is done we go to the TV room to watch the recaps.

The girls from one's names are Jem and Glory. Two has Perl and Emerald. Three has Mallary and Hannah. Four has Erica and Haiti. Five has Ashley and Danna. Six has Cara and Clare. Seven is Ana and Strabry. Eight is Rosie and Marcity. Nine has Ryesy and Wheat –who names their child Wheat?-. Ten has Avery and Alice. And eleven has Cloe and Seha. They don't look like much. Just the ones from one and two might be a problem.

Finally when all the names are given they show everyone getting in the trains. Then they flash back to the stages where no one has moved. I wonder why? I get my answer in a moment. President Summer's picture flashes across the screen in the back.

"Good people of Panam." Ya right, like she believes what she's saying there. "There has been a change in plans. When we picked the card for the 525th Quarter Quell we made a mistake. We picked the one for the 625th Quell. This year's change was going to be different. But it has been changed to be the 625. So for now we have decided that one boy from each district will be sent as well." I look at Avil. She looks like she's about to faint. They could not have messed this up by one hundred years. No way.

They then proceed to pull the names of boys.

From one: Deraven. From two: Daven. From thee: Conrad. From four: Jash-woe, he is hot! I'm not boy crazy but… wow!-. From five: Raver. From six: Cole –a lot of 'C' names from there isn't there? - From seven: Chester. From eight: Mason. From nine: Roily. From ten: Eagle –really? Eagle?- and from eleven: Dexter –is that the third 'D' name?- and finally, from twelve there is a boy named Jashe. I know him. He's very big and has been working in the mines for a few years even though he's seven teen. I wonder where he is?

Then they show all the boys boarding the trains after us so he's somewhere around here.

"Where is this dude?" I ask Mata. She shrugs.

"Oh he's somewhere. As long as he's still on the train we don't have to worry about him." Then recognition dawns on her face about what she just said and she stands hastily and runs out of the TV room.

Later when I go back to my room I say good night to Avil and crawl into bed with my clothes still on. I like the way the silk feels on my skin. I've never felt silk and I like it.

I fall into a fretful sleep.