A/N So I was cleaning out my folders and I found a bunch of these shitty little one shots- So I decided to post them.
It doesn't seem right. It isn't right! It isn't fair. Lovino... how can you be gone? How could they let you disappear...how could I let you disappear?!
I remember the day you told me. You sat across from me on the couch, and I knew something was wrong. You were calm... too calm. "Toni..." You had said softly.. you never called me that... "I had a meeting with my boss today." I remember the feeling in the pit of my stomach... that instant cold fear that settled over me. I knew you and Feliciano had been sick for a while, so this meeting couldn't be good. "And?" I had prodded anyways, trying to force my cheerful smile to stay in place. "I... they decided the country would be better...if it were whole... only one of us... Toni, they chose Feli.. I'm fading."
With those words, my world came crashing down around me. I had pulled you into my arms, clinging to you desperately, pleading, begging you to tell me it was some sick joke. Your face was unchanging. You clung to me too, pressing your lips to mine, telling me to just hold you for a while. I promised you I'd wait.. forever. That it would be only you. And I meant it.
One week. That was all it took, and you were gone. I was holding you when your eyes closed that final time...
Lovino. You were always mi corazon. Always. Do you remember the first time I left on my ship after becoming a pirate? I had told you to stay home with Belgium, safe and sound. Imagine my surprise when two days after I left, I found you aboard my ship! "Romanito.. what are you doing here!?" I had exclaimed, hugging you tightly. You were only about fifteen in human terms then. "Were you worried about me!?"
You had glared at me, and coolly retorted, "Of course not, bastard! Someone had to make sure your idiot self doesn't get hurt. If you get killed by that eyebrow bastard, I'll have no one to give me tomatoes!" But I could see the concern in your eyes. You never meant the cruel things you said. It was simply your way of protecting yourself.
You refused to leave my side after that. I remember the first time we made love, the way your eyes were soft and shining, making no effort to hide your love. You had called my name, and I swear angels were jealous of that one perfect sound. It made my heart swell, and when we finally collapsed together, you let me hold you, smiling at me and telling me you were always mine.
Lovino... I miss you, tesoro. You didn't know this... but I was planning to propose... why do you think I fought so hard to get my boss to legalize gay marriage!? For you... it was all for you... you would have made a beautiful bride. And I would have been so proud to be your husband. You never knew how proud I was of you... but then I guess that was my fault for never telling you. What I wouldn't give for just one more smile...
Antonio pulled his knees to his chin, sobbing heartbrokenly. He hadn't let anyone near for three months, not since the funeral. "Lovi..." He cried, green eyes pain stricken as his pleads fell on empty air. "Come home... I need you... come back..."
Suddenly a gentle hand lay on his shoulder. "Oh you silly bastard... tears for me?"Toni whipped around, afraid to believe it. Standing there was his Lovino... scowl and all, although the Italian's eyes were amused. He immediately pulled the younger man into his arms, hugging him tightly, breathing in his scent, his warmth, all that composed his beautiful love. "Is it really you?"
Lovi chuckled. "Yes, pervy bastard, it's me."
"But how!?" A small grin broke across the grumpy Italian's face in spite of himself. "Would you believe my grandpa has connections in heaven? Turns out he plays poker with God." But the Spaniard didn't reply. Instead he pressed their lips together. "Welcome home.."
