This was inspired by the song "As You Turn Away" by Lady Antebellum. As soon as I heard it, I knew I wanted to write a short little one-shot for it. I especially like it since it doesn't make use of any sex/gender pronouns (don't know why, I just like songs like that). Since I took only a few hours (maybe less...) to write it, I don't think it'll be my best work, but it's nice to get another story out for my OTP, even if it is as "rushed" as my other one. *insert thing I was going to say but forgot here*
Human names used.
Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or the song.
Couple(s): America/England
Warning: A very nice guest told me I should probably warn people that this story could be considered, well, sad... So if you don't like sad stuff, might not want to read...
Enjoy. :)
Standing face to face
Wrapped in your embrace
Arthur stood in his hotel room, facing Alfred who had just entered. The blonde had a pained look in his striking blue eyes; lips that usually held a cheery grin were now turned down in a frown. He slowly walked up to Arthur and put his arms around him. Arthur returned the embrace, his cheek against the taller man's shoulder and his arms wrapped around his back, hands fisted in the American's bomber jacket.
I don't wanna let you go
He closed his eyes and breathed in Alfred's familiar and comforting scent. He didn't want to let go. Arthur would give up almost anything to just stay like this, wrapped in Alfred's arms and feeling his warmth.
But you're already gone
But he knew… He knew that even if they did stay like this, it would be pointless. Alfred was already out of his reach. Over the past few months, he'd felt the blonde's distance, how he was furthering himself from Arthur. He'd act normal around others, cheerful and obnoxious and always grinning that dumb, sweet smile. When they were alone, though, Alfred was almost detached. Frequently, Arthur had caught the American staring at him with an intense gaze, his lips pursed in thought. Yes, Arthur had known that he was losing him from a long time ago. His cowardice kept him from bringing it up. He wanted it to be just his imagination, though his gut knew the truth.
Now you kiss my cheek
Soft and bittersweet
He felt Alfred pull away. Without any objection, Arthur let his hands fall back to his sides and looked into those sad eyes. Alfred leaned forward slightly, pressing his lips in a light touch to Arthur's cheek. The Englishman had to clench his jaw to keep from reacting without thought. His eyes were stinging with the onset of tears, but he willed them away.
I can read it in your eyes
Baby, this is our goodbye
When the blonde pulled back again, Arthur could tell as they locked stares. Alfred was going to say something he never wanted to hear. This was going to be goodbye.
Nothing more to say
Nothing left to break
I keep reaching out for you
Hoping you might stay
Silence hung heavily in the room, pressing down on the two individuals standing there. Yet, heavy as it was, Arthur knew that there was nothing else to say. Alfred had already said all that needed to be said. How badly he wanted there to be more to say; that this was a mistake, that he really did love Arthur, that he was going to stay. His thoughts were only so because he didn't want to see him leave. If he'd had the courage, maybe Arthur would voice his feelings, asking Alfred to stay with him. But again, there was that bloody cowardice…
Nothing more to give
Nothing left to take
Neither one of them could give anything else to the other. No more love, no more care. It was painful for the both of them. Arthur did love the American, but he couldn't give anything if he there was nothing to take. Give and take. That was a standard of relationships, wasn't it? If neither were able to give, there'd be nothing to take. And now, it was just so.
I keep reaching out for you
Reaching out for you
As you turn away
Arthur still felt Alfred's name on the tip of his tongue. If he opened his mouth, he knew he'd ask the blonde to stay. And if he said that, he'd be even more heartbroken. So his mouth stayed closed.
Let go of my hand
So I can feel again
Nothing's gonna hurt as much
As that final touch
Alfred took up Arthur's hand. The heat of the touch burned Arthur's skin. Let go. Please let go. His mind cried out. It hurt to have Alfred touch him, when he knew that it was going to be the last time. Alfred gave him a small, heartbreaking smile, full of everything they had shared over the years, everything they felt. The love, the pain, the tears, the laughs.
No we can't be friends
'Cause I don't think I could take seeing you
And knowing where we've been
I hope you understand
"Do you think…" Alfred asked in a small, tentative voice, "That we could still be friends?"
When he asked, Arthur knew that the blonde was trying hard to keep together some semblance of a relationship between them, even if it was only platonic. The words hurt. Arthur turned his head away and averted his eyes to the floor, grinding out a forced, "No."
Arthur slid his hand out of Alfred's grip. He couldn't look up, or else he'd see the sadness in his eyes. But Arthur wouldn't be able to take it. To continue seeing him, talking to him, with all of the history they had together. He also knew that Alfred had another love interest. If he had to bear witness to the one he loved being with another, Arthur probably would break. And he was already cracking now. Desperately, he wished that there was a way to convey this to the American. To hope that he'd understand that it's just wasn't something he could do. Not again.
"I see…" Alfred muttered quietly.
Nothing more to say
Nothing left to break
I keep reaching out for you
Hoping you might stay
Arthur looked back up at him, forcing himself to stay strong. After all, they had nothing anymore. The past was the past. It was a lesson Alfred had taught him, and it was something he needed to fervently believe in if he wanted to get on with his life after this moment. Their relationship was broken… All the words were already spoken. What more was there to do? Hug him, tell him not to go, Arthur's inner voice whispered. He pushed it back. No. He wouldn't give up his pride as well, not for something as futile as hope.
Nothing more to give
Nothing left to take
I keep reaching out for you
Reaching out for you
As you turn away
There came that silence again, heavy as the world on the Englishman's shoulders. They both seemed reluctant to move. Everything would change after Alfred left the room. No more fighting, no more kisses, no more cheesy romantic ideas. They both had run out. And Alfred had stepped up to the plate to officially sever their connection, even with displaying a sort of hope that there could still be something.
I keep reaching out for you
Reaching out for you
As you turn away
Slowly, ever so slowly, Arthur watched as Alfred turned. He looked at the back that he'd always looked at. The big 5-0 on the back, the broad shoulders, the comforting presence. Except now, his back was the last thing Arthur wanted to see.
One step my heart is breaking
One more my hands are shaking
The door is closing
And I just can't change it
Alfred took one step towards the door. With it, Arthur felt his heart twinge painfully in his chest. Another, and he felt his hands start to tremble. With a few more, Alfred was past the door, and when he turned to close the door, their eyes met. Emerald to sapphire, the former reddening with each passing moment and the latter full of regret. Then, the door closed. The footsteps receded.
Letting out a ragged breath, Arthur collapsed to the floor, his legs no longer able to keep him up. His whole body was shaking as he hung his head down, a bitter smile on his lips as he let out a cracked laugh. He brought up a hand to cover his eyes as tears crept up and started flowing down his cheeks.
It was somehow funny. Twice now, he had loved the same man, although in different ways each time, and twice now, the same man had left him. It was comical. That was his reason for the laughs that escaped his throat, full of bitterness and loneliness and everything he had experienced twice now. It was amplified this time. The reason? Because he was dumb enough to believe it could work out. And now, he was broken.
Nothing more to say
Nothing left to break
His laughter died down as his sobs left him scarce of breath, and all he could do was cry.
Nothing more to give
Nothing left to take
I keep reaching out for you
Reaching out for you
I keep reaching out for you
Reaching out for you
As you turn away
As you turn away
As you turn away…
As if Alfred was still in the room, still in his life, Arthur choked out, "Alfred…"
So... I'm not sure how I liked the ending, but I don't know. I may change it later? Oh yeah, this isn't an AU, but I just felt like using the human names instead for whatever reason. Also, although the story's basis is only the song, if it's actually liked (what a shocker that would be o_o) I could always try writing a whole long story about it... Though, then I'd probably change it to an AU.
Please, please, please review~. Feedback makes me a happy person and helps me out if there's anything I need to change/improve upon. Be blunt, be straightforward, just no bricks, please. ^^ (And also, it'd help if you wonderful readers told me if I got the sad part through. I'm not sure...)
Hope you enjoyed it.
