- Blissful Ignorance -


How did I get so lucky? Sam wondered, gazing at the sleeping form beside him.

Her golden tanned back was bare, a smooth, lean expanse of skin that disappeared under the sheets at her waist. Her blonde hair, like spun sunlight, lay in a tangled mess splayed on the pillow she rested her head on. She was facing him, her face unlined and unmarred by the passing of time. Her eyes were closed, but Sam knew that when she opened them he would see their sparkling emerald beauty and innocence.

She had never looked at him like he was a freak, like he was different. She had always looked upon him with kindness, desire and gentle sympathy. Sam hadn't told her about his whole past, just enough to stop the questions. But she knew that he was hiding pain and loss, he could tell by the way she would comfort him when he was feeling melancholy and couldn't shake the memories or the guilt. She didn't ask questions anymore, just accepted him for who he was now.

Sam examined her face like he had so many times before. Moonlight filtered in from the window above their bed, bathing her face in gentle light. He loved the shape of her full lips; sensual and feminine, always curving into teasing smiles or triumphant smirks when she was right and he was wrong. He loved how she could arch one graceful eyebrow up. He even loved that when she cried, her cheeks would go red and puffy and by the time he had comforted her and kissed away her tears, they would return to normal.

He knew everything about her, had learned about her body as she learned about his, had listened to her talk of her family and her past, had flipped through the yearbooks and the family photo albums and had picked her brain for every random, seemingly trivial detail of information he could find about what she liked and didn't, her favourite movies and opinion of who would win in a fight between Batman and Iron Man.

Thinking about how much he knew her, a shadow fell across his mind. She would never know him like that, in such detail and without judgement. He would always have a secret lurking beneath the surface that distanced them. It seemed like a small gap now, but it would grow into a chasm one day, and what would they do then? Would she stay with him? Would she be able to forgive him, move past his secrets and continue on with her blissful ignorance?

Sam ran his fingertip gently down her temple, across her cheek, over her full lips and down her neck. He ran his hand softly down her back, feeling the dip and curve of her spine. He cherished the quiet, blissful moment he had with her. In some dark, undiscovered part of his mind, there was a whispering voice that told him it would be his last.

"Sam?" Her voice murmured as those emerald eyes opened, peering at him with concern and love. "Is everything okay?"

Sam looked down at her and smiled. How could he not smile when she was near? "Everything's fine, Jess. Go back to sleep." He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead as she closed her eyes once more. Sam lamented the loss of her gaze.

"Not without you," she murmured again, reached out to tug his arm down.

Sam complied eagerly, lying down and pressing himself against her, his arm reaching around to hold her tightly. "I love you," he whispered against her neck. But she was already asleep, her breath rising and falling slowly. He could feel her heartbeat and in that moment it seemed so gentle, so fragile as though it could break at any second. He tightened his grip on her and never wanted to let go.