Once upon a time, people thought Doakes blew up.
They were wrong.
You see, when Lilah was about to blow up that crack shack where Doakes was trapped, Doakes was able to escape at the last minute using his manly Doakes awesomeness. The UNIDENTIFIED body they found was some drug dealing whatever that came in to find his crack. He found it, but AT WHAT COST?
Doakes ran away and hopped a train, and lived as a travelling circus monkey for a few seasons. Then he found his way back to Miami, slightly blacker and full of rage for Dexter. He wanted to whoop him hard for almost letting him die.
He hunted down Dexter, and took a selfie right when Deb shot LaGuerta in that season 7 episode.
A week later, Dexter was checking his facebook, when he saw the photo. It was tagged "SUPRISE MOTHERFUCKER". That was where the episode got its name. True story.
Dexter was like "DOAKES! I OWN YOU! HOW DAR U! IMMA KEEEEEL YOU!"
But then he deleted the comment because it was "incriminating"
But... ARTHUR MITCHELL took a screenshot!
