A/N: This if for freetolive603. My vday fic for freetolive603 ! I'm so so sorry this is late. Legit, these past couple of weeks have been kicking my heart-ass, as Morgan would say. So I hope the extra length makes up for it. Happy belated Valentine's Day!
Prompt: College AU
"Mindy! You came!" A screech assaulted Mindy as she entered the frat house. Soon, a small, blonde-haired pixie was throwing her arms around Mindy and squeezing tight. "I'm so glad you're here!"
"Hey Rachel! Me too!" Mindy reclaimed a curl that had been thrown during her welcome tackle. She glanced around the space. "So, where's everything happening? It's obviously not this room, since there aren't any teacup lights or accordion players."
Rachel laughed and pulled Mindy alongside her as she moved towards the kitchen. "Oh, don't worry. They're setting up the tables soon. Let's get you signed in first. All my sisters are so excited to meet you!"
"And I can't wait to meet them! Valentine's Day Speed-Dating was such a good idea. I'm a career-driven, involved woman. I don't have time to weed out the lameos!" Mindy winked at the buff brother who was stringing banners up along the staircase.
She paused by the kitchen. "Do we get to discuss our evaluations with the guys after we rotate through? Because some of them may not be weighing the right aspects. I mean, I don't want my perfect bone structure to detract from my humble genius!"
Rachel rolled her eyes, handing the clipboard to Mindy so she could sign in. "The whole point of speed-dating is basing your judgments off of first impressions! And who wouldn't love you?"
"Oh, I'm not worried about that. I just don't want to waste all my good one-liners on a bunch of frat boys." Mindy replied. She eyed the sample of young men spread throughout the room.
"Hey, some of them are better than others," Rachel defended. "Chad works with underprivileged kids in elementary schools around here!"
"Rachel, you know that's just a play! I bet he can't even tell you what SES stands for!"
Rachel folded her arms defensively. "He really does care about the kids. He's mentioned them, like, 5 times!"
"And how many times have you slept with him?"
Rachel eyed the ground, silent in response. Mindy signed the clipboard with a smug flourish, one eyebrow raised.
"Don't worry, Rach. We'll find our Rosses and Chandlers here. Well, maybe you'll find a Joey and I'll find a Brad Pitt." She winked at the guy working on the staircase. He waved back, but his gaze was lower than eye level. "Hey, buddy! No one gets to see Nicki & Bey until at least the second date!" She pulled her dress up, moving her hair to cover more of her chest.
A sister called Rachel's name and called her back into the living room. Rachel turned to Mindy. "Well, we're almost ready. Go grab yourself something to drink – a bunch of people are already here. Go mingle! I'll let you know when everything's starting, okay?" Then she left Mindy to sort through the 6-dollar wine selection.
Mindy sipped from her glass as she studied the small group of people. There were a couple of prospects. One tall and cute blondie who was obviously into "recreational" experimentation. A hipster with glasses Mindy could already envision herself stealing.
Then Mindy's eyes landed on a short but handsome guy over by the drinks. He was studying the labels on the wine bottles and grumbling, despite no one being around to hear him. Mindy smiled to herself. With his back to her, she had a great view of his…assets. And his thick black hair practically invited fingers to run through it. Mindy sighed dreamily, her exhalation causing the guy to turn around. They locked eyes. She took a step towards him when a screeching Rachel stopped her in her tracks.
"Alright everybody, thanks for coming out tonight to the Kappa's and Chi's Date-o-Rama! We're all set up and ready to go, so if the guys could go into the living room and have a seat at any table, we'll send the girls in in a second."
The guys shuffled past Rachel, grabbing an extra beer and nudging each other as they sized up their potential partners.
Rachel pulled the girls in close. "Okay ladies, here's how it's gonna go: You get 3 minutes with each guy. When the timer dings, you move to the next table. At the end, you'll rate each guy on a form. If their answers match yours, we'll give them your number. We clear?" The group nodded, nervous smiles exchanged from girl to girl. "Then let's get started!" The girls headed out to the tables and exchanged nervous pleasantries with their partners.
"Your three minutes start….now!" Rachel started the timer and beamed as the couples began to introduce themselves.
Mindy eyed the guy across from her. He had beautiful blue eyes and hair that stuck up a little weirdly, but overall, he wasn't hard to look at. Mindy gave her most winning smile, sticking her hand out. "Hi. I'm Mindy."
"I'm Cliff." The guy shook her hand, fidgeting with his tie. "So. Um, what are you studying?"
"Oh please, you can come up with something more interesting than that!" Mindy rolled her eyes. "Ask me about my favorite celebrity, or snack food or something," she offered. "It's Rihanna and Cookie Dough Bites, by the way," she winked.
"That's…nice," Cliff replied. He pondered for a minute. "What sort of extracurriculars are you involved in?"
Mindy narrowed her eyes at him. "What is this, a job interview?"
Cliff shrugged. "One's extracurricular activities are a great way to understand their priorities and interests."
"Okay, well, the administration wouldn't let me start up a Hugh Dancy fan club, so I don't know what to tell you." She glanced down the row of tables, searching for any sign of wavy black hair. Cliff pulled out his phone and started texting, unbothered by their lack of connection.
"Time's up! Ladies, rotate to your right!"
Mindy gave Cliff a polite nod before sitting down in front of staircase guy. His name was Tosh, and he was the president of the fraternity. They actually had a nice conversation about bringing brighter colors into workout wardrobes. Even with the stimulating topic, Mindy couldn't help but glance at the dark-haired man at the next table. He seemed to be listening intently to his partner, brows folded in concentration, but Mindy could feel his eyes dart to her every few seconds. She reveled in the knowledge that she had his attention. She amped up her flirtation with Tosh and brushed his shoulder with her fingertips. She laughed like Julia Roberts in any rom com.
And it was working. Mindy caught her mystery man apologize to his partner for his inattention. Pleased with her ability to already drive him crazy, Mindy tried to reign in her grin.
The timer dinged again. Mindy gave Tosh a peck on the cheek before sitting down in front of her new partner. She leaned in and bat her eyes, entrancing him with her lashes.
"Hey. I'm Mindy Lahiri." She turned her smile on full wattage. "And you are?" Dark. Mysterious. Handsome, she completed in her mind.
"Danny Castellano."
"Mm, Danny Castellano. That's a strong name." Mindy took a sip of wine, being sure to lick her lips afterwards.
He swallowed. "Thanks. It's Italian, so."
"Oooh, Italian? You must be an amazing cook." Visions of garlic bread and chicken carbonara flashed through Mindy's mind.
Danny's lips ticked up into a smug grin. "Yeah, well, I like to make my own pasta when I can."
"I bet you're good with your hands," Mindy added, daring him to break their gaze.
"I – uh, yeah-" Danny managed to stutter out. He chugged the rest of his beer. "Would you wanna learn how to make something sometime?"
"Sounds perfect," Mindy purred. "Do you like cooking with any specific aphrodisiacs?"
Danny was ready for her this time. His eyes flashed. "Chili peppers. I like my food a little…spicy."
"Good. So do I." Mindy's lips parted slightly. "Chocolate is one of my favorites."
"Oh, I bet it is," Danny smirked devilishly. He leaned in, flicking his eyes up and down her body, not registering Mindy's raised eyebrows and scoff.
"Exsqueeze me? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"Um, what?" Danny stammered, shaking his head to try and gather a sense of what had just happened.
"You just said you bet that chocolate is one of my favorites! Were you trying to say you can tell? Was that supposed to be some sly comment about my weight? Because I will have you know that a little bit of dark chocolate every day is healthy!"
Danny held up his hands. "Woah, I didn't say anything about your weight! And sure, a 'little bit' of dark chocolate isn't bad," he allowed, voice rising in disbelief.
"And now you're insinuating that I eat more than a 'little bit'?! God, the nerve of you!" Mindy cried, slamming her hand down on the table.
"Hey! Keep it down, people are looking!"
"Oh you want me to 'calm down'? How dare you try to silence a woman! I'll show you calm!"
Mindy stood up to unleash her full wrath, but the timer dinged.
"Thank god. Have a nice life," she sneered, stepping over to the next table. She took a deep breath before smiling at her new partner.
"Fun last session?" He offered.
"The most," Mindy replied with an eyeroll. "But it doesn't matter now, it's over. I'm Mindy. What's your name?"
"I'm Brendan. I'm sort of the house guru around here. I lead morning meditation, and make sure our herb garden is stocked in the back…"
Mindy nodded, pretending to listen while simultaneously eavesdropping on Danny's conversation. He seemed to be falling asleep as she described how she gets to her morning classes. Mindy hid her tight-lipped smile. She sighed, adding in a thoughtful "mhm" as Brendan continued to tout the benefits of an antibiotic-free society. She turned her ears back to Danny's conversation.
"Anyway, I guess that's why I think that technology is ruining humanity," Danny ended.
Mindy gasped in horror before leaning out of her chair to whisper to the girl. "Don't listen to him, he hates all things good and pure, like chocolate."
"Excuse me, I'm in the middle of a very enlightening conversation with Mary here," Danny glared.
"Oh please. I saw you nod off in the middle of her bus route." Mary frowned at Danny.
He laughed nervously before shooting Mindy a look. "Go back to your own conversation. You're being rude to Brendan!"
"Like he could really handle all of this," Mindy rolled her eyes and gestured to herself. "No, your tyrannical rule over this date-o-rama must be stopped. Just because you don't have any fun doesn't mean others shouldn't! Here, move," Mindy pointed for Mary to move to her seat across from Brendan. The two looked at each other. It was clear that what was happening next to them was much more fascinating than any conversation they could have.
Mindy pointed at Danny's watch. "Without technology, you wouldn't have been here on time today."
Danny scoffed. "Oh, and that would've been such a travesty." He shrugged. "Plus, I taught myself to tell the time by the sun's angle in the sky. I've trained my body to get up in the morning, so I don't even need this thing," he added. He unbuckled his watch and threw it on the table with a smug grin.
The timer dinged. The girl due to come to Danny's table next smiled warmly as she approached him. "Move it along," Mindy waved her over, rolling her eyes at the girl's protests.
"So what, you're 'so in touch with nature'. Get on this guy's level. He believes all that crap about herbal remedies." Mindy pointed to Brendan, who began to protest. She shushed him. "Oh, get over it. Science dominates." She turned back to Danny. "What about friends? How do you contact them? Oh, wait, I bet you don't have any," Mindy smirked.
"Just because I'm not surgically attached to a cell phone doesn't mean I don't know how to relate to people!" Danny cried. "Some of us can get along without the latest issue of People pulled up on our phones."
"Joke's on you, People doesn't have an online version!" Mindy countered. "Just admit it. You're too lame to need a real data plan. That's why you had to come to this date-o-rama. Good looks only last for so long, bub!"
"Oh so that explains why you're here too, then!" Danny replied with a flushed face. The two were now leaning in close to one another, breathing heavily.
The timer dinged. "And that's the end! Everyone, come get a piece of paper so you can rate your sessions!" Rachel nodded enthusiastically as people took the form, girls glancing at their favorite partner.
Mindy accepted the sheet of paper from Rachel. "So, how'd it go?" she asked. "It looked like you and Danny were really into each other!"
"Oh, we were getting into it alright," Mindy frowned. She watched as Danny filled out his form, writing carefully in each of the blank spaces. Mindy quickly filled in her own sheet, blatantly crossing out Cliff's section and giving Tosh all 10's.
After a few minutes of coordinating, Rachel called the room to attention again. "Okay everyone! We crosschecked all your ratings and listed the name and phone number of your match. Come get your sheets, and Happy Valentine's Day!"
The crowd lined up in front of Rachel, grabbing their sheets and casting furtive glances at their match. When the line had finally dwindled down, Mindy approached her friend.
"Well at least I got some free booze out of this. I should've known I was destined for a much more classy meet-cute."
Rachel frowned but brushed off her friend's offensive remark. "I think it's beautiful. Who knows, someone might have met their soul mate today!"
"Yeah, well, it sure wasn't this one doofus I talked to today. God, he was so infuriating. To think he actively hates Facebook!"
Rachel held up one last sheet of paper. "Guess you don't want this then, do you?"
"Hey, there could've been a guy I didn't talk to who just knew how amazing I am by sight!" Mindy snatched the slip from her friend, almost ripping it in her excitement. Her face fell in shock. "Danny Castellano?!"
Her exclamation caused the offending party to look up from the corner where he was making a similar realization. Mindy stomped over to him, gesturing wildly. Rachel watched as she shoved him, Danny grinning in response and grabbing her hand. Mindy wrestled it away from him and flicked her hair over her shoulder. After a few more words were exchanged, Mindy stalked back over to Rachel.
"So? What did he say?" Rachel looked up at Mindy with wide eyes, waiting for an answer.
"We're meeting for dinner on Friday." Mindy couldn't keep a small grin from slipping out, winking at Danny as he waved goodbye. She turned to Rachel so they could jump and squeal together.
"How? I thought he annoyed you!" Rachel asked with furrowed brow.
Mindy shrugged, blushing. "Yeah, well. I figured he could get my heart rate up in more than one way."
"Mindy!" Rachel squealed, hugging her friend. "Now, aren't you glad you came?"
"We'll see about that," Mindy replied. "Now where's the rest of that cheap wine? My one true love comes in red, pink, and white, and it's time to celebrate our relationship!"
