Hello! This is a two-shot based on one of my own road trips while bringing my sister and her boyfriend to college.
Disclaimer: I am not Eoin Colfer. Do you understand? I also do not own McDonalds and I don't believe there is a Way Past Dublin Fun
Artemis Fowl the Second sat at his desk, trying to figure out some complex algebraic problem, when he heard the doorbell ring. He paid no mind to it and continued. Until he heard a voice. Holly's voice.
"Well, Butler I had a day off and decided to do something fun in the human world. I was hoping Arty-" This made Artemis twitch. "-could help me." Artemis listened closely as Butler answered.
"I think he is busy Holly-" This totally freaked Artemis out. He was hoping to spend some face-to-face time with her. No, he was not in love, he just hadn't seen her in awhile. It would be just his luck that Butler would drive her away. In fact, he didn't wait, he opened the door quickly and ran down the hall, down the stairs and into the foyer all the while screaming:
"NO!NO!NO! Don't leave!" Holly burst out in laughter when she saw him and Butler tried to keep from laughing. Tried is the key word there. Artemis was immediately embarrassed.
"I am not busy." He finished, trying to stop them from laughing. It did quite the opposite. They looked at each other (Holly and Butler) and burst out in tears and laughter. Artemis huffed, annoyed. I mean who wouldn't be?
"Where do you want to go, Holly?" Holly stopped laughing, well almost.
"I heard there - was an amusement park - way past Dublin - called - Way Past Dublin Fun." The -s were short bursts of laughter.
"What about your ears?"
"Foaly's newest invention will temporarily make my ears round and make me taller by about 2 feet." There was no way he was going to get out of this.
"Let's go Butler, Holly," Artemis said, rather glum.
Holly sat next to Butler in front while Artemis occupied the middle seat in the back of a car. Artemis said the Bentley would attract too much attention to which Holly quickly retorted
"Like a fifteen year old in a suit won't?" There! She said it again. It had been an hour since they left and she was still in a riot about in. Butler was clearly annoyed.
"Holly would you please stop! We're gonna miss the exit!" Bad timing Butler. As he said this, Artemis noted they rolled past Exit 6, their exit.
"Butler, Holly. We just passed it." This was Artemis. Holly and Butler looked at Artemis, well Holly did, Butler just glanced. Then, Holly burst out laughing again.
"Good one, Mud Boy!" She said before Butler gulped.
"Holly, he wasn't kidding." This jolted Holly out of her senses as they read a sign that said:
Next Exit: 5
100 Miles Away
Holly gulped.
"One - one hundred MILES!" She said, stuttering at first before yelling.
"Yup." This came from Butler.
"It's your fault Butler!" Oh, Holly.
"Well, if you hadn't been laughing I wouldn't have told you to stop while missing the exit!" Artemis quickly calculated the time at the speed they were going and gulped again. Holly and Butler stopped for a moment.
"We should reach it in 2 hours." Holly stared at him while Butler drove in disbelief. They had been on the road for 1 hour already.
"Access road!" Butler said quickly, jolting Holly and Artemis from their grief.
"What?" They both said at once.
"Behind every plaza is an access road to the local town." He said this as they rolled by the plaza. Artemis whipped out his phone.
"Great!" Holly complained. "With our luck the next one will be an hour away."
"1 1/2 actually." Artemis said calmly but they could tell there was a hint of panic.
"Let's go to the access road." Butler said, and for once in this trip... Holly DIDN'T ARGUE! WOW!
Holly's no arguing streak didn't last long. By the time they reached the next plaza, she and Artemis had had 5 fights and her and Butler 2. All in all, Holly had 7 fights in 1 1/2 hours. Go Holly! Butler pulled into the plaza and entered through the trucking area.
"The access road is in back, and the trucking area is the only way there." He explained as he searched for the road. Holly and Artemis searched as well. Surprisingly, Artemis with the untrained eye found it.
"Behind the fence!" He exclaimed and Butler immediately pulled near the fence and searched with his eyes.
"Yes. But there is that small hole as the gate is closed and locked." Butler explained.
"Can we fit?" Holly asked as Butler pulled forward.
"No..." Holly and Artemis groaned as Butler left the plaza.
"What can we do now?" Holly asked and Butler sighed.
"Drive." He replied and Holly moaned in emotional pain. Then Artemis's big brain did something useful. He got an idea.
"We could make an illegal U-Turn." Butler immediately sped up and pulled over to the left lane.
"Why is it illegal?" Holly inquired.
"You have to pay. They want to make sure you don't cheat them out of their money," was Artemis's reply. Butler sighed. Every time a road would come up, he would try to slow down, but a car would speed up to be right behind them and then PASSED him after the availability was gone. This happened for 5 cars straight.
"We're never gonna make it out of here." He said and as a stroke of luck, no car was behind him when the opportunity came. He immediately slowed down and swung onto the dirt road. He waited at the edge but no car would let him go. He waited and waited and a thought caught in Holly's mind and stuck there.
"What if the police find us?" She spoke what everyone was thinking. As on cue, a space was finally available and Butler pulled out.
"We shaved 40 minutes on our arrival time." Artemis said.
"Let's roll," Holly replied and Butler drove faster
I understand this is probably OOC but it is mainly written for humor, and isn't meant to be taken seriously.
