WARNING; SUICIDE AND TRIGGERING SUBJECTS LAY AHEAD. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.
Also; I do not own the rights to Fallout or any of its characters.
Bitter memories scar those who dwell in the past. Over and over again do they allow the tauntings of mistakes and bittersweet memories to entangle their mind and heart. Forgoing living in the now. Just to feel like dred one more time.
Nora couldn't help herself. She couldn't deny herself the luxury of feeling Nate's kiss or hearing her sons laughter.
The radstorm outside howled as she internally screamed. Dogmeat lay at her feet whimpering in his sleep. A dream of chasing something perhaps. Nora tried to not think anymore of what was.
She knew she had more to try and deal with here and now. Her son no longer a baby, but a grown man. Running the Institute no less. There honestly was no changing him, no saving of the son she didn't get to raise. Tears burned at the edges of her eyes. All thoughts of the future her and Nate planned went up in a mushroom cloud.
She'd had enough. Her heart couldn't take anymore. Glancing at the blade by her side of the cot she sat up. She cried out. Nora was not a quitter. She was taught to fight until there was nothing left to fight for then find another campaign that she could throw herself into.
But here she sat; on a filthy cot in the middle of the Commonwealth in a cabin close to the destroyed neighborhood she used to see growing old in. It was all gone. No husband to love. No son to nurture. Nothing.
Her broken heart cried out audibly as she reached for the blade. She couldn't do this anymore. So she had no reason to try. Why live when all you're doing is taking one step forward and ten steps back. Alone.
Digging the sharp rusty tip into her forearm she winced. She just wanted peace.
Dogmeat had stirred from his slumber long enough to see what his master was doing. In crawled into her lap. Putting his muzzle on her outstretched hand and started to whine.
The sudden realization of what she would leave to fend for himself in this hell hole shattering any idea of suicide.
"I-I'm sorry buddy." She managed to get out before tossing the blade and collapsing into his fur; sobbing.
"I'm so sorry. I won't. I won't leave you alone too. I can't."
She fell asleep that night curled up on Dogmeats fur crying. To live another day so he wouldn't have to face it alone. Because sometimes; when you have lost all hope. There's still someone who needs you more than you realize.
Author Note;
If you or someone you know is struggling with depression or thoughts of suicide. Please reach out. Talk to someone. Get the help you need. You are not alone. Just open your eyes and I promise you'll see that you are loved and worth it.
