Disclaimer: I sincerely apologize to JK Rowlings, William Shakespeare, and Britney Spears for the ripping off of their works.

"What am I to do with my life?" asked Harry despondently.

"You will find it out, don't worry." said Snape softly.

"How am I supposed to make it right?" Harry queried.

"You've just got to do it your way." responded Snape.

"I can't help the way I feel," said Harry looking up at the stern Potions professor, "but my life has been so..."

"Yes?"

"So..." Harry paused, searching his mind for a word that could describe how he felt, after all the years of lies and deception, "so...overprotected."

Snape looked at his young student with a tenderness that surprised him. The two men moved their faces closer until their lips were almost touching. Harry could feel Snape's hot breath on his lips and... (a/n: author is so horribly disturbed by this scene that she is choosing to let the reader infer what is happening. so there)

A year after the wedding of Harry Potter and Severus Snape (a/n: ** shudder **) the two were living quietly in London where Snape served as the Minister of Magic and Harry, well, Harry was just Snape's love slave. Snape was a hero to the magical community, having rid the world of the evil Voldemort and forcing him to make blouses for high ranking government officials. Voldemort wasn't much of a blouse-maker and he was anxious to return to power. Then there was Sirius Black and he hated Snape because Snape was cooler than he was and he very much resented it.

Slowly, Black began to form a plan. It was perfect in its simplicity. He would destroy Snape once and for all by convincing him that Harry was cheating on him. Black rubbed his hands together evilly and laughed, "Muahahahaha!!! Soon, Snape will be gone and I will rule the world!!!" He set about his plan quickly, going to the blouse-making shop to see Voldemort.

"Voldemort, what's up?"

"Nothing," said Voldemort, "I have to finish all these blouses and this one is so not-form-fitting! Tcha, I wouldn't be caught dead in something so unstylish."

"Why are you gay in all of this author's stories?"

Voldemort shrugged, "So... Remus, sweetie, whatever did you come here to ask me about, you cute little werewolf, you!"

"Do you want to rule the world again?"

"Do I get to wear my pink robes again?"

"Um...sure"

"OOOOHH, the one with the little hearts embroidered on the sleeve?! I LOVE those robes," his face suddenly turned crestfallen, "I can't believe Snape made me wear these gray robes, I mean, the fabrics so do not match my complexion!"

"Whatever, look, here's the plan: Snape is Harry's bitch, he'll do whatever Harry tells him. Go to Harry and tell him to make Snape let you take over the world again."

"Hmm, I don't know, Remus. I killed the cutie's parents and all the bad stuff in his life has revolved around me in some way or another. I don't think he'll be too eager to help me," then with a flutter of his hand and an extravagant wave of his arms he said, "Oh, what the heck! I'll go for it! I'll ask Harry to let me takeover the world again."

"Excellent..." murmured Remus under his breath, rubbing his hands together in classic supervillain mode.

a/n: dude, I was reading this over and I realized I switched villains midway. Tee-hee. That's what happens when you listen to music and type at the same time.