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Summary: Desmond's thoughts on Altair, Ezio and Connor.
Drabble fic in memory of Desmond Miles
Song is 'Some Nights' by Fun
HIS GHOST
He stopped telling them about the Bleeding Effect. It only made his father more belligerent, Rebecca worried and Shawn snarky. Besides, there wasn't anything they could do. They couldn't make it better, couldn't stop it, couldn't cure it. So he just stopped talking about it, suffering through it all alone. Except his wasn't.
Desmond looked up at the ceiling of the room, unable to sleep lost in his thoughts and slowly he found himself singing.
"Some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck, some nights I call it a draw, some nights I wish that my lips could build a castle, some nights I wish they'd just fall off."
He wasn't alone. He was never alone.
His dark eyes followed his ghosts, who flickered about as if they were actually here. As if they really belonged. More than once, Desmond found him wishing that they were really here. Then maybe he would have a small reprieve, a moment where someone can understand him.
"But I still wake up, I still see your ghost. Oh, Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for oh, what do I stand for? What do I stand for? Most nights I don't know anymore...Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, oh, Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, oh!"
When they fade and disappear from days on end, he realizes to horror, that he misses them. Their constant presences replaced with hollow reminders. Beyond all reason, he misses them and he finds himself looking around, trying to catch a glimpse of a familiar white hood. He notices the others stare, he can feel them staring, but he doesn't care anymore. He needs his ghosts, like he needs air.
"This is it, boys, this is war - what are we waiting for? Why don't we break the rules already? I was never one to believe the hype. Save that for the black and white. I try twice as hard and I'm half as liked, But here they come again to jack my style," Desmond sang, his eyes slowly fluttering closed. Exhaustion slowly winning out.
He got a high, from living their memories, becoming them. He felt alive and more than Desmond Miles, bartender could ever be. But with every high became a crash, and every time he left the animus, every time he became Desmond once more, he was left with a giant hole in his chest. Left him hollow.
"Well, some nights I wish that this all would end. 'Cause I could use some friends for a change. And some nights I'm scared you'll forget me again. Some nights I always win, I always win…"
They meant a lot to him. His ghosts. So much so when Shawn said something about curing his Bleeding Effect, he decked the man. They meant so much to him, Desmond couldn't lose them!
Altair became his lifeline when Abstergo had him. His reason for getting through each and everyday. His memories, his life, kept Desmond alive. Ezio came to him when Desmond was lost, searching for purpose and through Ezio he found that purpose. Connor…he was the key to understanding it all. All the memories, all he had been through, what it had all been for. He wishes they would never fade away, because they made him better.
"But I still wake up, I still see your ghost. Oh, Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for, oh, what do I stand for? What do I stand for? Most nights I don't know…" The words slurred out of his mouth as he let out a sigh before he feel to sleep with one last thought.
He was a better man, a better person with them in his life. He couldn't lose them.
They were leading him down some unforeseen path, with deep frowns and whispered apologizes and Desmond knew his ending was not going to be pleasant. And yet, even with that in mind, he did not falter.
Because he knew that one day…he'll be someone's ghost too.
END OF CHAPTER
Hope you all enjoyed.
Here's a little prompt if any one is interested in taking the challenge: We've always seen Desmond become Altair or Ezio, or have to share bodies with their personas…so what happens if Desmond accidentally became someone other than his ancestors? Like Malik? Or Leonardo? Or some else? PM if your interested in taking up the challenge.
Read and Review! :D
