They still hadn't told Ted. Or Marshall. Barney sometimes thought that Lily had an inkling of what was going on, but perhaps he had just persuaded himself to think that those looks shared between them meant that she knew something. They hadn't told anyone that for months, something had been going on between them.
Robin had never meant to make sleeping with Barney a habit, but the second time it happened he cooked her breakfast and was so sweet to her that she questioned whether this really was Barney Stinson, or just an identical twin. Soon enough, she was using his bathroom mirror to apply her make-up for work in the mornings.
If she thought it was strange that he only had one pillow, she didn't voice her concerns to him. Not that she needed a second pillow anyway; she basically used his chest as a pillow every time she stayed the night. They shared the single blanket so that wasn't an issue either, but he had been walking past more and more bedding stores lately and thinking…
Whenever they ended up sitting next to each other in the booth at the bar he rubbed his hand up her leg, going as far as he could without her reacting. He loved watching her try and keep a straight face in front of all of their friends, who still had no idea.
On her third night at Barney's, when she went to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, she fell right into the toilet bowl, yelping as she did so. When a sleepy Barney arrived to see what all the commotion was about, he just laughed as she repeated over and over again that she hated him. It was contradicted within the hour and the toilet's spring-loaded seat disabled by the time of her next "sleep-over."
He secretly loved it when she put on his dress shirt from the night before and wore it with nothing else besides her panties. Of course, the best dressed Robin was the one who'd worn nothing at all for one glorious morning as she walked through his apartment, and he'd told her this, but the one who wore his soiled dress shirts came a close second.
When James came over one morning unannounced and let himself into Barney's apartment, interrupting an impromptu morning make-out session, he simply grinned before walking towards breakfast on the table and helping himself. "So this is why you've been acting so weird for the past few weeks," he said towards both Barney and Robin who looked busted. "Good morning, Robin," James added brightly. She couldn't do anything but blush and politely give him a reply as Barney rubbed circles with his thumb into her hand.
He had only slept with one woman for eight months. Eight months. And for some odd reason, that didn't bother him. At all.
Robin had never realized how often Barney Stinson went away for business; he didn't go away for long periods of time, but it was somewhat frequently. "If you're a good girl, I'll buy you something nice," he said as he wrapped his arms around her at the airport.
"What if I'm a naughty girl?" Robin asked in a mischievous and suggestive voice as they broke free from their embrace.
Barney's eyebrows rose at her statement, "well…" he began jokingly. "Be good, Scherbatsky," he added seriously.
"You be good, and no sex with random Koreans, okay?" she grinned.
Barney nodded before kissing her gently on the forehead. Just as he was about to walk away, Robin grabbed him by his tie and kissed him passionately.
It always worked in the same fashion when Barney was away on business; a few days into the trip he would receive a call from Robin. She always put on her sexy phone-sex voice and called him "stud," and "big boy;" teasing him until he closed whatever deal he was making – not a euphemism - and ended the trip as soon as he could, hopping on the next plane back to New York.
It always worked in the same fashion; she missed Barney, not that she'd ever admit it to anyone; missed the smell of his aftershave, the stupid way he made eggs for her in the morning, the smooth starchy material of his dress shirts and the way they felt against her bare skin, even some of the stupid, jerk-ish (funny) things he said. So she would call him in a way that she knew he couldn't resist, and a couple of days later he would let himself into her apartment, surprising her as his mouth found hers hungrily, knocking the wind out of them both; hurriedly taking off their clothes as if it were a race and finally finding Robin's bed, knocking over as many things as they could in the meantime.
He brought her (himself) a king-sized blanket and another pillow for her birthday; and gave her a key to his apartment. "My neck was starting to get stiff," she said with a joking smile when he showed her.
Robin still slept with her head resting on his chest every night while the new pillow sat unused on the other side of the bed.
He accidentally called her his girlfriend and they both stood in her living room; her mouth open in shock as he stuttered, trying to convince her that he meant girl friend, not girlfriend. She didn't know whether to be upset or flattered. She didn't know much when she was with Barney. They didn't speak directly for two days. When their eyes locked at the bar, they quickly averted their vision. This was becoming a relationship and that scared the hell out of both of them.
She turned up on his doorstep two days later, and if his apartment hadn't have been deadly silent, he wouldn't have heard the tiny knocks on the door, luckily he did.
"I gave you a spare key for a reason," he said simply when he opened the door and saw her on the other side.
"I'm sorry," she replied meekly, not plunging into detail, instead into his arms, her mouth finding his.
"Thank god," he said, taking a breath as he kicked the door closed.
He asked her to consider leaving some of her stuff at his place so she didn't have to leave so early in the morning to get clothes from her place. She was so surprised she missed the next step and fell down the stairs on her way out of her apartment building. Barney yelled into the phone until he heard her voice again, still rushing over to her place, even though she promised him she was okay.
She had found his copy of "Let's Go to the Mall" in the top drawer of his bedside table on one of the first nights she had stayed over at Barney's, while he was in the shower (she couldn't help but be curious – it was in her nature.) She left "Sandcastles in the Sand" in the same drawer when she had stayed there for his birthday. He only realised a week later.
They didn't even notice when they started to get cosier in the booth at MacLaren's as time went on. Their body language must have changed little by little because by now, Barney's arm resting on Robin's shoulder felt natural, and she liked the feel of his suit around her and next to her. Lily was the first to notice the change and she later pulled Barney off to the side, giving him a lecture about hurting Robin, and a high-five when she learned that he had finally snagged her. Barney had maybe under-exaggerated how long exactly this thing with Robin had been going on, but he could quite honestly say that he had lost track of how long it had been.
Marshall was the next to find out and Barney supposed that was because his wife couldn't keep her mouth closed. He too gave Barney a congratulatory high-five.
Together Barney and Robin came to a decision that they had absolutely no idea how to tell Ted about what was going on between them. It was a no-win situation; surely Ted would be hurt that their thing had been going on for so long behind his back, and also he would probably be upset that their thing had lasted a while (neither of them knew exactly how long) whereas, all of Ted's relationships had been failures and he was the one who actually wanted commitment and all of those other things.
So they went over to Ted's and Barney came right out and told him, clasping Robin's hand tightly as he did so. "Well it's about time you two came out and said it!" he exclaimed, shocking both Barney and Robin, who looked at each other in surprise. It seemed as if their thing wasn't as hidden as they both thought it was.
A couple of months later Barney strolled into Robin's living room, dropping an envelope of some sort down onto her coffee table, interrupting her as she watched the TV, which was now blocked by Barney's figure. He cleared his throat before he began talking, "there's this important thing at work and I was wondering whether you'd like to come with me…as my date," he said, not looking down at Robin throughout the entire speech. Finally, after she didn't answer, he looked at her, "I know it's social and a work function, but there's an open bar and it could be fun." Robin just laughed at him, nodding her head the whole time; reminding herself that this was new territory for Barney.
He introduced her as "my girlfriend, Robin," and by the end of the night she still had no idea what he did for a living, even though every time she asked him he replied, "oh, I awesome."
As time went on, his porn collection seemed to vanish at about the same pace as her stuff accumulated in his apartment. "Are we a couple?" Barney asked her one night as they cuddled, cuddled up on her couch (his TV hurt her eyes too much; and it couldn't be good for his eyes either.)
"I don't know," she replied truthfully, turning towards him.
"Because if we were, that would be…" he cleared his throat, "that would be okay."
She took a moment of thought before she replied, "You know what? I think we are. Couples cuddle on the couch while watching TV. We're cuddling on the couch while watching TV. I think we're a couple."
The truth seemed to hit; this thing between them had evolved enormously. Barney simply wrapped his arms around her tighter and kissed her on the temple. And the weird thing was that this thing; it felt normal.
