A/N: It broke my heart to write this. And I know this sounds crazy, but I hope it breaks your heart to read it, too.


It pulls at you, the sound of the universe.

You can never really find the sense in it. Not really. No sense at all, but the moment you hear it, you run for it. It's almost an instinct, like fight or flight – like being faced down with the most terrifying predator you've ever dreamt, with every nerve-ending in your body screaming at you to run, run now, except you're running towards it, towards that unmistakable, impossible sound, running towards the sound of the universe.

Once you've heard it, really heard it, it stays with you forever, echoing in the deepest corners of your mind, the one thing that defines everything, everything, to you. The most fantastic thing you'll ever hear, pounding with the pulse of the universe, soaring like a solar wind through the stars.

It's not a thing you'll ever be able to keep. You can't hold on to the universe.

But inside – inside, inside the sound, the sound of the universe, if you can get there – there's a man. And that's different. You can't hold the universe, but you can hold a person. That's what makes people people, the holding on. And you think maybe, just maybe, if you can manage to hold on to this man, you'll be able to hold on to the universe, too.

Looking into his eyes, you can see the light of the universe. And it is vast.

But watching his smile, and hearing his laughter, you can see the heart of the universe. And it is so heartbreakingly beautiful and breathtaking and utterly, utterly perfect, even with its flaws, because its flaws are what make it perfect, you could cry. Because you know. Watching his smile, hearing his voice, you know.

You know you're in love with him. You know you're in love with the universe, and you always will be. You know he'll always love you too, because that's what he does, he loves things, and he loves them forever, because he is forever.

And you know – you know – that you can never keep him.

You can never hold on to the universe.

And it breaks your heart.

So you watch, and you hold, and you listen, with tears of heartbreak in your eyes and a smile of pure joy on your face, and you cling for as long as you can.

And after – after the joy, and the sorrow, after the heart and the light and the sound of the universe – when it has slipped through your fingers, and you know you have to let it go …

When you hear the sound of the universe …

You will run.