Disclaimer: I don't own them. Title and quote by Paramore.
She has a certain way of making you feel perfectly ordinary. Not ordinary in a crippling, self-esteem-destroying, relationship-ruining, your-dead-mother kind of way, but ordinary in a "You'll never be anything special to me, no matter what you do to get my attention," kind of way. Which is pretty much the same, kind of, but Addison Forbes Montgomery is not, in fact your dead mother, so yeah, different. Sort of.
Even when you first started working with her, she didn't treat you like you were special. "Chin up, Grey, I'm this tough on everyone, not just the women my husband sleeps with," she had said. Women, like you were part of some kind of group she didn't care much for. That, and every other time she made sure you knew that you weren't one of her top priorities. And then there was that time you kissed her in a supply closet. And that was insulting, because she barely responded, and kind of wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her lab coat, and told you she didn't have time to kiss people in supply closets. Not just you, people. Hello, not the best thing to say to a girl when she just kissed you in a supply closet. It bugged you. A lot.
Then there was the sex thing, in Derek's trailer, which was kind of nice, because, seriously, Addison. Except she still didn't make you feel special. Because obviously she fucks her husband's mistresses all the time and isn't even slightly fazed by it. So you're there with your head between her legs, doing your best to get her off (because maybe if she comes hard enough she won't have this completely neutral look on her face the next time she bumps into you at the hospital), and she's acting like this is totally normal and healthy.
Around her you feel ordinary. And not in a nice, wholesome, one-time-thing, one-night-stand, girl-from-the-bar kind of way, like you did with Derek. Okay, that only lasted a couple of hours, before you found out he was your boss, and then started dating, and whatever, and then he was the pig-headed, adulterous, married guy-from-the-bar, and it definitely didn't feel pleasantly ordinary any more, but that's really not the point here. The point here is, you're kind of drunk, and you're rambling, and you're waiting at Joe's for Addison because Derek's working the night shift, and then you're going to go back to the trailer and try and make her make you feel special. And that sucks.
"And there's a
million other girls who do it just like you,
Looking as innocent
as possible to get to who they want and what they like,
It's easy
if you do it right. (Well I refuse, I refuse, I
refuse.)"
