Chapter One
Hotaru the glow worm
--
The sandstorm in the streets of Sunagakure was being loud and relentless, as usual, making his view of the outside world difficult to see from his bedroom window. From his eyes, all he could make out was a mixed haze of wind and sand. He continues to stare out from that room to nothing in particular but sees the reflection of a sad, miserable little boy with short, wild red hair and light blue green eyes.
Around those eyes were think black rings pointing out that sleeping for him was just a dream itself. He has never slept so soundly before, and only thinks about it. With nothing else to do but cuddle his favourite and only beloved teddy bear within his tiny arms, the boy sighed deeply on his stool, and continued to watch the horrible, yet everyday, weather from beyond the glass.
His name is Gaara.
Sabaku no Gaara.
With his state of mind hollow yet full of lonliness, he was distracted immediately from the constant rash knocking on his door. The boy instantly whipped his head around, facing that wall with timid eyes and an answering voice so nervous it was trembling literally.
"W-Who is it?" he begins to hold his bear tighter.
"Gaara-san, open up. It's only me."
Gaara's small frown quickly turned into a bright smile. That soft and gentle voice was harmony to his ears as he approached the door and opened it with much welcome to his beloved uncle.
"Yashamaru!!" Gaara's sweet and innocent eyes directly set on the tall sandy blonde man with dull grey eyes and a warm smile gracing his lips.
"Gaara-sama, good afternoon."
Gaara's small frame instantly latched onto him like sticky glue. "Yashamaru! I'm so glad to see you."
His caring uncle smiled lightly and stroked his head. "I'm happy to see you too."
Still grinning contently by his side, Yashamaru suddenly pulled Gaara off of him and lowered to the young boy's level, still showing some signs of kindness.
"Gaara-sama, your father has order me to escort you and your siblings to meeting grounds at the next building."
"Uh?" Gaara blinked cutely. "W-Why?"
"A very important man has come to visit Kazekage-sama, and he is bringing a child with him."
Child..? Gaara looked down, worriedly. "But... what does this have to do with me?"
"I'm not sure yet." Yashamaru said honestly, looking across. He turned back to the puzzled boy, and patted his head--smiling. "But don't worry, Gaara-sama. We won't be there for long, I promise."
Gaara's mood began to lift a little, as Gaara released his teddy and Yashamaru grabbed his tiny hand, then led him outside where his older brother and sister were waiting patiently by the wall's of the hallway whilst staring down at their red-headed little brother with no particular intrest.
Yashamaru nodded at them. "Come, let's go."
"Tch, why do we all have to go to this stupid meeting, huh?" said Kankuro, pushing himself off the wall as everyone formed a group. He looked nothing but displeased and annoyed.
"It was Kazekage-sama's orders, let alone your own father, who tasked this." their uncle answered bluntly.
"Meh. But still--"
"Quit your complaining." Temari, the eldest, snapped at her younger brother. Kankuro just scoffed, but none the less kept quite the whole journey there.
Gaara just stayed quiet, never interfering in his siblings quarrels but then again, who would ever argue with Gaara? (unless they had a deathwish) The poor boy sighed as they draw nearer to the building, then eventually they were walking down the hallways making may twists and turns along the way.
Gaara's feeble voice was raking across his mind. What would father want with us in one of his meetings?
"Ok. We're here." Yashamaru stopped the group infront of a large arched door. He then turned to them with a simply stotic face. "This is as far as I can go for now, you guys go on ahead."
"Eh? Where are you going?" Temari asks.
"No where in particular. Got some stuff to do, people to see. The usual." He shurgged, then headed west, away from them. "I'll see you later."
"W-Wait!!" Gaara's sudden outburst surprised everyone. He hand was out-stretched and trembling towards his uncle, as if he was signaling him to come back. He could find the correct words to go on, but Yashamaru clearly knew what Gaara was trying to say.
"Gaara-sama. I promise I'll be back, ne?" he smiled again, and did a small quick wave before continuing on to leave the scene.
As both Temari and Kankuro slowly opened the doors, Gaara was left to watch his dear uncle depart before he could no longer see his figure beyond the bend. The boy sighed once more, before joining his brother and sister in what seemed to be in the middle of an important conversation.
"As you can see, my land is-- oh. Temari, Kankuro, Gaara. You're all here." their father spoke out in such a cheerless tone, it was rather chilling. "As you can all see, I'm speaking to one of the many minor feudal lords of my country. I need a little... favour to ask of you all."
Favour..? Gaara's mind wandered slightly, as he turned to the mysterious man seating across from his powerful father.
"Yes, it is nice to finally meet you all." The man nodded briefly at the children. "Unfortunately, my own offspring isn't here right now to... play with you. It would be so kind if you could find that runt of mine and perhaps... occupy him."
"Occupy him?" Kankuro knitted his brows together in a frown, most unsettling about the idea of being a caretaker.
"He is probably wandering the halls right now, wasting away precious time. He is quite the devious scamp, so finding him could prove irritable."
Gaara was now becoming a little more confused each second, whilst his brother was still nerved by the situation. It almost looked like he was going to protest but Temari quickly silenced him by placing an arm before the guy and speaking out instead.
"Y-Yes, we will find him." she politely bowed, irritating Kankuro by her moderate gesture. "Please excuse us."
"You are excused." their father nodded, as did the mysterious stranger.
Once outside and somewhat out of ranged of their father and that mysterious fellow, Kankuro released all his surpressed rage.
"What the hell! Why do we have to go baby sit some nobody's kid? Does he know how old we are?!"
"Geez, and I thought my PMSing was bad." Temari grunted, as Gaara slowly slipped away from their fight. "Maybe that guy just wants to even the ties with father by using us and his son, of course."
"What a stupid idea." Kankuro shook his head. "I'm outta here."
"K-Kankuro!" Temari tried to stop him, but it didn't seem like he'd be staying any longer with the mood he was in. Tch. Idiot.
She paused for a second, looking around some more realising that he was missing.
"Gaara?" She turned around left and right but it was also no use. Both her brothers were long gone. She sighed heavily. knowing that she was in defeat and started heading her own way not bothering to find either of them.
--
And not so far away from them, but just about out of ear-shot, Gaara walked down his path with his usual sad look stuck on his face like a picture. He was lost in his thoughts again, thoughts that streamed out things such as lonliness, sadness and the things that he had been deprived from.
He sighes; When does Yashamaru come back?
In fact, he was so far in his thoughts he could have tripped over the crouched lump in front of him.
Wait, crouched lump?
Gaara looked up from the persons sandals to the face, but what caused him to widen his eyes were these soft, dazzling, aqua blue eyes that were lightly covered from their equally coloured short hair.
Gaara blinked his eyes at the child, wondering again but amazed by the features. The person looked so feminine, it was quite a site. Who's... she?
The girl almost looked like see was sleeping, dazing off slightly, until she felt Gaara's presence beside her and looked up. Her deep sea blue eyes shimmering as she blinked twice at him.
"Y.. You are..."
Hideous? A freak? A monster? The list went on in Gaara's head as he thought the girl would think just less of him, like the rest. He clenched his fists tightly, looking down so lowly to the floor.
She already knows me, so of couse she know's what I am.
"You are Gaara, right?"
"Huh?" Gaara lifted his head up again at the female, who pointed one finger at him but not in a frightened of anger way. It was most simple and natural, like she found him. But Gaara was very surprised when the girl did not abuse him with insults like the rest of the villagers would.
"Well? Are you?"
"Uh, y-yes." he stammered nervously, pretty much guessing that this girl would have such a girly voice. This was the longest he has talked to a girl before besides Temari, who didn't cast him aside and run away like most would.
"Ah. Good!" The little girl smiled, getting up and brushing off some dust that got caught in her navy shorts and long sleeved shirt. Standing up straight, she grinning so awkwardly and placed a hand out to Gaara.
"Nice ta meet cha! I'm Hotaru Shinrin!"
" ... ... "
"Erm. You're supposed to shake my hand." Hotaru pointed at his own out-stretched arm, but then just quickly gave up and grabbed Gaara's right hand, shaking it. "See! Like this!"
The poor boy off guard and now even more nervous of this weird girl. It wasn't that Gaara didn't know what to do, he just didn't have the courage to do it. It's not everyday that someone new passed him and greeted him with such kindness.
"W-Why do you... g-greet me?" Gaara asked very cautiously.
"Eh? Am I not allowed to?"
"Err... well..." because Gaara was so far beyong anti-social, it took him time to make even words, especially to such a perky girl. His eyes kept darting around the room anxious, and scared. "D-Don't you know who I am?"
"Of course I do!" she smiled. "You're Kazekage-sama's second son, ne?"
"N-No... not that." Gaara shook his head timidly. Was this girl actually this naive not to notice the towns terror?, or is she just being polite.
Yes, that's probably it. he frowned, and wanted to end this conversation by turning away. But for some odd reason, that girl would not let down and instantly grabbed his arm.
"Gaara-san, where are you going?"
What. S-She's... still talking to me!? Gaara's eyes were now frightfully wide, as the the girl was very persistent to hold on for even longer. What's wrong with her?
"Do you know who I am?" The girl grinned mischievously as Gaara silently swayed his head.
"Oh. Well, I'm Tsume Shinrin's son. You know, the guy that Kazekage-sama was talking to. I'm sure you met him earlier."
"Tsume Shirin's... son?!"Gaara blinked severly, now very lost and confused.
She is... i-it was... she's a boy!?
The strikegirl/strike boy just kept on grinning wildly, but Gaara soon pulled him off facing him with a tint of blush on his cheeck.
"I-I'm sorry! I didn't know you were a b-boy!" Gaara appologised drastically, afraid that Hotaru would be outraged. But instead, the cheerful little boy continued to grin, now making Gaara wonder if he was feelingall right.
"It's ok Gaara-san. You're not the first to say that." Hotaru began twirling a strand of his brilliant blue hair lazily within his fingertips. "I get that alot some times. Most people think I'm a girl because of my eyes, so I make sure to keep my hair short just in case. But... it's still no use."
"Oh." Gaara lowered his gaze. "S-Still, I'm sorry."
"Nah. It's ok, really. I told you I already forgive you, right?" Hotaru winked, grabbing both of Gaara's hands together. "Come on, dad said we're supposed to have fun, yeah? So I'll introduce you to my friends!"
Friends?
Gaara felt widely threatened now, knowing that this little visit wasn't going to plan as well as he thought it would. "H-Hotaru-san. I don't think--"
"Nonsense! It will be fine." Hotaru said, dragging Gaara along with him. "Besides, they're a nice bunch of people anyways. I'm sure the sandstorm has died down now anyways."
"Nice... people?" Gaara muttered under his breath, remembering that he had never seen such beings before beside Yashamaru, possibly. But Yashamaru was part of his family, so he didn't know if that counts. However, this guy was a total stranger to him.
As Hotaru continued to drag Gaara unwillingly towards Sunagakure's streets, Gaara was lost his dreams wandering if this could be the break through in his depressingly miserable life. Though still very hesitant about the idea, he held on securely to Hotaru's hand, trying to crack a rare smile.
Maybe this will be it.
He hopes so.
--
"Daisuke-kun, Amori-kun, Kito-kun! I'm back!!" Hotaru hollered through the town, arriving at a certain corner down an alleyway with his new buddy, Gaara, who looked absolutely horrified to be here.
Along the way, the boys were given odd stares and glances among the market crowd that passed by, whispering to eachother things that Gaara had heard before and has grown accustom too. Such words of hate and anger combined with the intimidating glares shook the poor red-headed boy all over, and made him hold onto Hotaru even tighter.
They won't stop...
"Hmm. This is weird." Hotaru's little blue eyes scanned the narrow passage on the spot. "They normally should be here by now. Strange."
"Hotaru-chan! You're finally here!!" came the confident sound of a familiar voice ringing in Hotaru's ears.
The blue boy beamed even more brightly as he saw his beloved friend walking out of the corner and coming up to him. The seemingly year older boy was tall and fit for his age. He had short silver hair and dark blue eyes to match. He wore some baggy, torn clothing that looked very old compared to Gaara's own, which was some what old but still clean and decent.
"Dai-kun!" Hotaru smiled as Daisuke approached him. "I was getting worried you wouldn't show up today."
"What? And miss a valuble day pulling pranks on the town with my best friends?" Daisuke grinned wildly, whilst Hotaru giggle besided him. As Daisuke patted the young boy's head, he noticed a patch of red hair quivering behind Hotaru.
"Ta-chan," Daisuke said Hotaru's affectionate pet-name. "Who's your friend?"
"Oh, this guy?" Hotaru slowly stepped aside, revealing the shaken small child that is Gaara. But while Hotaru continued to blabble, Daisuke was able to get a better look of the new guy. Once he did, he stepped back tumbling slightly with a face of immense horror and colour drained from his face.
"Dai-kun, where's Toki-kun and Amori-kun? Are they not with you?"
But Daisuke ignored Hotaru's questions and kept his eyes focused on Gaara like a hawk. Gaara himself felt uncomfortable, as he remembers quite clearly the alarming stare Daisuke was giving him, just like the many others from before and some that had perished even though the attacks from Gaara he thought were generally loathing the situtation.
It was all because of that thing inside of Gaara that people grew to fear and dislike him to the extent that they tried to murder him countless times. And countless times again, no one succeeded. All that was left in the fray were corpses lying in their own blood of blood mixed with the glittering grains of sand from Sunagakure.
And lastly, the poor, disturbed, red-headed child that was in the middle of the chaos, had done nothing to recieve of give in to all of this but was still treated like a monster all the same. And once more does he break down into tears of confusion as he lets the rest of the night continue in hopeful silence.
"S-Sa..ba..ku... no G-Gaara." Daisuke broke down parts of the name into sylibles, still staring in shock as Hotaru nodded, bluntly naive to the moment.
"Yes! So you do know Gaara-san!"
He growled quietly so that they would not hear. "Tch. Like I'd want to."
Having enough of the "attention" already set from Daisuke, Gaara shifted in his place and lightly tugged on Hotaru's side. "Umm... H-Hotaru-san, I think I should go now."
"Huh?" Hotaru gazed down on him. "But you just got here."
Gaara was looking away, and smiling nervously. "Ha. I-I know, but..."
"I think it's a good idea, Hotaru-chan." Daisuke agreed, although he hated to do so with him. "Let this... person go." he shuddered lastly.
Gaara was practically begging to leaving now, as he noticed that even Daisuke refused to now say his name. But Hotaru stepped up, bravely in front of the boy a little puzzled by both their behaviour. It amazing both the other two to why he'd do such a thing.
"Come on, Dai-kun. Pleeeease! Just let him hang out with us, at least until our fathers are done with their meeting."
"A-Are you.. crazy?" Daisuke slammed his hands on Hotaru's shoulders, gripping it in a desperate manner. "Don't you know who-- what that guy is?!"
"Dai-kun, I think you're the one who is acting crazy." Hotaru semi-glared at his friend, as Gaara timidly continued to watch these two bicker much like Temari and Kankuro.
"Get some sense into yourself, Hotaru!"
"Dai-kun, what are you talking about?"
"Don't you understand? T-That guy..." Daisuke trembled all over, as he took one little peek at Gaara like he was psychopath. "That person is a monster!!"
Like glass shattered from stone, he had hoped this part would have been escaped from the likes of Hotaru, as Gaara wished. All the recollections from the past insults came flooding back again into Gaara's head like a liquid dream.
"Monster!!..."
"Freak!!..."
"Weirdo!!"
...
"You should die!!"
"N-No..."
"See Dai-baka! Now look what you have done! You made Gaara-san sad!" Hotaru shouted at Daisuke, upset that he made his new friend cry.
"Like I care!" he crossed his arms. "He's still a monster."
"How could you say that?!" Hotaru had never felt so angry with his best friend before, he was disgusted and yet painfully hurt. "You don't even know him yet and you think you have the right to call him a monster? Just look at yourself! You... meanie!!"
"Ta-chan, please don't kid around here." Daisuke's eyes softened slightly, to alert his friend that he was clearly being serious here. "Remember the warning our parents gave to us about that boy?"
Hotaru quickly turned away with a face twisted in annoyance. "I-I... don't want to."
But Daisuke went on regardless of Hotaru's gesture. "They said that if we met him, we have only two options. We run away now so that we may live another day, or stay here so can kill us without regret."
There was an unsettling pause between the two, as a mild gust of wind brushed up against the children's sides. Hotaru finally looked up, locking on to Daisuke's eyes as his were filled with determination yet stubborness.
"I choose neither."
Daisuke appeared as if he had just seen a death in the face, and backed away from his friend. "W-What..?"
"You heard me, I--"
"Stop. Stop it."
Daisuke and Hotaru instantly ended their argument, tipping their heads to the crouched little boy on the ground with tears of sorrow spilling out of his eyes and his hands clamped on his hair in a struggling vice grip-- it was Gaara.
Hotaru was probably the first, and only, one here to feel sympathetic for him. His eyes were calming and his voice was exactly the same. "Gaara-san, he didn't mean it. Really."
"No. G-Go away. Make... Make them stop!!" he cried, almost screeching as Hotaru carefully approached him.
"Gaara-san, are you ok?"
"Hotaru-chan! Get away from him!" Daisuke shouted, but Hotaru did not heed his warning after the way they just talked to one another.
"Gaara-san, it's ok. Dai-kun is--"
"Stay back!!" the red-headed child yelled dangerously. "I mean it!!"
Hotaru's eyes were set to stunned. "Wha?"
Sand had quickly formed together, as it shaped into a thick winding loop around Hotaru's left wrist, the one that was just about to touch Gaara's shoulder. He scarcely lifted his head, and found Hotaru mesmerised by the conjured sand gradually tightening around his hand.
No! He didn't do anything! Gaara whimpered in vain. He didn't even try to hurt me! Why?! Stop that! I don't want to hurt him!
"Stop it!" Gaara blinked his teary eyes. The only way I can cease this attack, is if I run away now and never see him again.
"Don't come near me!!"
"But... G-Gaara-san I--"
"Please, no more." Gaara shrieked, briefly spotting Hotaru's innocent and pity appearance, before immediately standing up and running far, far away, as quick as his little legs could carry him.
"Gaara-san! Wait!!"
Daisuke quickly latched onto his young friend, restraining him and holding him back by the arms, whilst Hotaru tried to stuggle free vigorously. "No! Hotaru he's evil! Don't go after him!"
"Let me go, Daisuke!" he wailed, "Gaara-san! Come back!!"
Various loud calls from Hotaru were futile and completely ignored by Gaara, and he kept on aimlessly running taking many turns and paths in hopes that he would not follow. But once Gaara heard that the voices had finally died down, he found himself once again alone and lost, but this time in a dark and wary part of the village that he had heard about from Yashamaru. And all that his loving uncle said, was to never go there no matter what.
The distressed child gulped fretfully, trying his best to find his way out. But happy about one thing though, at least he had gotten away from Hotaru and his scary friend, Daisuke. And the fact that he was able to stop himself from murdering a defenceless soul.
But was it truly himself that wanted the attack to happen?
Gaara was still puzzled by the sand that protected him and killed those that privoked it. But Hotaru was but a harmless bystander who, accidentally, happened to be in the way. Regardless of what his position was, the sand was going to kill him.
But... it didn't happen.
There was a small twitch on his lips, a slim upright curve was about to form.
I stopped it! Hotaru-san is ok!!
There was a sudden change in the wind as the sand around him kicked up a bit, circling around Gaara's ankles and wrists delicately like a stream. His half-smile gone in a split second once he sensed the presence of a sinister being close by. One that was all to familiar for Gaara.
"Ooo. Well, well. What do we have here?"
Gaara raised his head high to the masculine and burly man that stood before him. His sharp and narrow black eyes was quite similar to the blades that he weilded in each hand. The situation was easily recognized by Gaara, as the brute of a man stepped closer to the quaking boy.
"P-Please, don't come any closer." Gaara begged, but fully noted that the man did not comply.
"Mercy? Mercy? Is that what you're looking for, boy?!" The man grinded his teeth furiously, his baggy clothing was reeking and torn all over. "Did you have mercy on my father when you literally ripped him apart. You call that mercy?"
"N-No..." Gaara mumbled, understanding of how his dark abilities must have killed someone dear to the enraged man. You've got it all wrong! He was the one trying to kill me!
"I've had enough of you breathing our air, freak!" The man drew his blade dangerously close to Gaara, who didn't flinch at all. "Time to die!"
If the man had yelled any louder, it would have sent Gaara actually sprawlling to the floor. He was surprised that there wasn't any nost bypassers near by involving themselves on the seen, but Gaara would have guessed that if they took one look at him they would have surely turned away and disappeared.
But alas Gaara didn't shift or run away for this man. Instead, he turned away and closed his eyes tightly, unable to handle the quick scene that took forth violence, screams and blood-shed into the calm desert winds. It all happened so fast, as Gaara perdicted once he saw the aftermath.
The narrow built walls and sand were now covered in the mans thick blood, and his body utterly torn asunder like thin sheets of paper. The mans weapons scattered into tiny pieces like broken metal shards. He grimaced at the sight, not being able to remove the mental graphic image from his mind like he had tried with many others. Somehow, he was somewhat later able to relax once the dusty wind picked up again, and buried the mans body down under with the weight of the sand.
Gaara figured it would be best if he didn't hang around there for long, in fear that they may be another pointless attack against him like just now. And all the while Gaara couldn't help but break down into painful tears again to the senseless battles, blood-spill and death that surrounded him at such a tender age.
"I'm sorry." Gaara rubbed his distort eyes, his voice growing faint. "I'm so sorry."
It's too late... it's always too late...
--
"Gaara-san? Is that you?"
Hearing his name, he looked up finding not so far off from him was that energetic blue haired boy that seemed to be always happy, from what Gaara thought, wishing he could be so carefree like him. Although this time though, it didn't seem like his mean-spirited friend was tagging along side now.
"Hotaru-san..." Gaara blinked, watching the boy run up to him. No! He must get away from me!
"Wait, please!" Hotaru quickly caught his arm long before Gaara even thought of making a move. Hotaru gazed up at him with wide pleading eyes. "D-Don't go! Dai-kun really didn't mean it! I promise!"
Gaara's half lidded eyes stared blankly at the sandy ground. "Please, I don't want to be your friend."
"Then... is it so bad if I do?"
W-What... What did he say? Gaara thought his ears were playing tricks on him, like he was going deaf of something. But this was all too real, something good was actually happening to Gaara in real life.
"H-Hotaru-san... why?" Even I reject you... and still... you...
"I want to know Gaara-san better," Hotaru grinned in a cheeky way. "Even if it means that Dai-kun will be mad. It will be fun!"
"Fun..?" Gaara could keep his eyes of Hotaru, still unbelieving of what he just heard. And now both boys were ignoring the silent glances and whispers that the towns folk gave them as they came by.
"Yeah. We'll have a good time. I swear." Hotaru nodded sincerly. "But I have to go now. My dad might be finished now, so why don't I see you tomorrow at the same building--same time, okay?"
Gaara wasn't sure of what to say. His heart was pounding rapidly against his chest on all the excitement. He was really nervous yet anxious too. "O... Okay."
"Great!" Hotaru cheered, smiling. "I'll see you later, right?"
"Uh... w-wait a second." Gaara beckoned softly, but Hotaru still heard and stood there patiently.
"Hmm? What's up?"
Gaara, for some reason, still wanted the boys company and thought of anything desperately to keep him here for a while. Just for him to linger a little longer. Even if it meant something possibally inparticular.
"Hotaru-san... that means firefly, right?"
"Correct!" Hotaru put his thumbs up. "And you are... Sabaku no Gaara, ne?"
"Y-Yes." Gaara timidly answers, quite unsettled that Hotaru said the whole name.
Hotaru pressed his hands behind his head. "You know, some people call me Suna no Hotaru."
"Why?" Gaara wondered why someone named their child that seemed so unfitting with their appearance. In fact, it was so strange that it was absurd. Hotaru had no similarities to such a fragile and feeble creature; a glow worm.
Hotaru shrugged carelessly. "I don't positively know, but that's kind of my code name around here, I guess. Dai-kun made it up for me."
"Oh. I see."
"Bah, enough introductions. We already know eachother now." Hotaru sighed, then beamed warmly at Gaara, gently patting his shoulder. "For now, it's just Gaara-san and Hotaru."
Gaara peered down and across, before raising his eyes again to meet the boy in a heart-warming, sweet, friendly gaze. Gaara managed to surface a smile then, but ever so delicately, as he finally began to feel a little more comfortable around Hotaru.
Beginning of the firefly that drifted into the desert winds...
Cliche ending, I know. It's just me. Please keep in mind that this story is Shonen-Ai so there's not much solid yaoi in it. Although I absolutely LOVE hard core yaoi, I am terrible at writing that, which reduces me into making fluff stuff for your viewing pleasure.
Note: If there is any Japanese words you did not understand in the story, don't hesitate to message me. Cause frankly, I'm not going to bother with translations at the end of each chapter.
