In the Candlelight I'm Different

Chapter One

Letting Go of the Past

Lily Potter tossed and turned trying desperately to get back to sleep. The day had seemed never ending, so there was no reason for her not to feel tired. She turned her head to see what time the clock read. Only three minutes had gone by since the last time she looked. The silence rang loudly around the master bedroom. It was becoming painful for her to listen to. She sat up letting the sheets hang even more off the edge of the king sized bed. James's heavy breathing had stopped. Did this mean he was also lying awake without her knowing it?

"What's the matter?" James whispered through the silence. He lazily leaned up still feeling half asleep.

"Nothing, I'm fine. Just a bad dream I suppose."

"Lily?" James grabbed his glasses off the night table.

"I'm going to check on Harry." She stood up out of bed reaching for her black underwear off the mahogany dresser, where James had tossed them only four hours ago.

"Honey, he's fine, you don't have to check on him every two minutes."

"Well, don't you think it's strange that he hasn't woken us up yet?"

"Yes, but I am extremely grateful. I suppose we wore him out today. Or should I say that Sirius wore him out today. Remind me to thank him."

"I'll just be a minute." Lily found her pink bathrobe and began to tie it around herself on the way to the nursery. She poked her head into the room. The moon shined brightly through the curtains revealing a small baby boy, no more than three months old lying comfortably awake in his crib. A yellow blanket wrapped tightly around his body. Lily entered the room smiling. She came over to the crib peering down at her son. His emerald green eyes stared mesmerized up at the blank ceiling as if seeing something in the dark shadows.

"Harry? What are you doing up? She reached down wrapping her warm embracing arms around him, lifting his body gently out of the crib. Harry paid no attention to her words though. His eyes were still fixed on the moving shadows. Lily looked up as well to see what her son was watching. It's from the trees outside. The wind is really blowing out there." But somehow, Harry was the one who knew it wasn't just the trees that were alive and moving out there. Something else or someone else lurked near the Potter's house. It was only a matter of time before they made themselves known.

As Lily continued to rock her baby boy asleep she began to hear the noises from outside the window. Once placing Harry back in bed with a soft kiss goodnight, Lily walked down the dark hallway passing pictures of friends and family. She had just taken her first step downstairs when a tapping at the front door alarmed her. Who would come over so late? There were not many people who knew where they lived. If it was Sirius playing a joke, she would murder him. The tapping got louder and more aggressive as she got closer to the door. After taking her time to unlock it, with a shaky hand she wrenched it open.

"Severus, no!" Lily hissed into the darkness. All the street lights were off on the block and a young man with shoulder length greasy black hair stood on the Potter's porch.

"Lily, please. A few minutes of your time, that's all I want." His voice was shaky and his beetle eyes shined with grief.

"I can't! Do you want James to find out?" Lily clutched her robe closer to her bare skin. She turned to head back inside but Severus grabbed her arm. His felt icy cold with rough hands.

"Lily, there is something important I've been meaning to tell you. I may never get another opportunity.

"I believe you've said enough the last time we had a conversation." She pulled away from him.

"I'm afraid I wont take no as an answer!" Angrily, he pushed her up against the wall. Lily's expression was filled with horror.

"Let me go Snape!" She shouted in his face. Severus loosened his grip on her after hearing those words. Never in all these years had she referred to him as Snape.

"You sound like your pathetic husband!" His voice changed from calm and reasonable to cold and filled with hatred.

Feeling defensive, Lily slapped Severus hard on the cheek. "I never want to see you again!" Her words echoed inside his mind over and over again. A few moments went by without a single sound. But then her baby's cries from a floor above made their way through the open door.

"That's him, isn't it?" Severus spoke softly.

"His name is Harry, and you will never get to meet him if that's what you're asking! I got to go." With one last glance at an old friend, Lily Evans left him for life.