Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia or any characters you may recognize from the books or the movies, I wish I did but I don't... I also don't own the Narnian Calendar. It belongs to Elecktrum who was kind enough to let me borrow it for my story. Her own stories are awesome and you should go read them too.

Summary: To prank a Kat, it takes an army...and one mastermind...

A/N: This is part of my A Light in the Darkness universe, but can be read as a standalone. Slight spoilers for Shadowed and Revealed.

To Prank a Kat: Prelude

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26 Sunbend 1002

"You, Katerina Alambiel, are completely insane!"

"Not completely. More along the lines of mostly or partially or occasionally or-"

"No, completely insane is what you are. And, you are also a menace."

I had to fight the urge to laugh as I watched Edmund pacing in front of me (the entertainment value of provoking a not quite twelve-year-old boy was higher than I had remembered...though not quite on par with that of provoking Oreius). "It wasn't that bad."

Edmund glared at me (I think that was supposed to intimidate me... Sorry, Edmund, you're still shorter than I am and skinnier, so you've a ways to go before you manage to intimidate me) and hissed. "What could possibly be worse than what you did?"

I couldn't resist the door he had just swung wide open for me. "Well, I could have drugged myself to the point of being unconscious for just shy of two full days."

His jaw dropped before he sputtered, "That was your fault!"

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. "How? I had no part of the incident. As far as I can tell, the whole thing occurred as the result of your insistence on drinking whatever was handy."

His eyes narrowed as he suddenly stepped closer and hissed. "Only a menace such as yourself would mix up an extremely powerful sleeping draught in your rooms and then leave it unattended and unmarked when you knew we were coming to have tea with you."

"As opposed to normal people, such as yourself, who also happen to be knights and should know better than to help themselves to unattended drinks, especially if the unattended drinks are in my rooms." I paused and tilted my head slightly, "How long have you known me?"

"Too long." Ouch. My slightly wounded expression didn't move the Just King as he moved into his true rant. "Until this month, Kat, I didn't think you could surpass the utter stupidity of your plan to stop a sorcerer by stabbing his staff with your knives." The irony of that particular statement being that he had been in complete agreement with his brother when it came to knighting me in no small part because of my stupid plan (yes, even I admit that particular plan had been extremely stupid and born of sheer desperation...but only to myself). Edmund paused and gestured to our surroundings with a sweep of his arm (Has he been taking lessons in Ranting at Katerina 101 from Oreius?) before drily stating, "Congratulations, Kat, you have proved us all wrong."

Looking around I supposed he might have had a minor point. Admittedly, my idea to use Ogres and Cyclopes against each other wasn't the best thing I could have come up with, but I had been short on time and we had been badly outnumbered, so I had to do what I had to do. The trick was convincing Edmund (not to mention Oreius) to see my side of things...it wasn't going well. And, for the record, I had no idea that there was a coven of Harpies in the ravine we had hidden in (for a very, very brief amount of time) before we went in (note to self: check for sleeping Harpies before hiding from fighting Ogres and Cyclopes in creepy-looking ravines). However, I definitely knew about them after we went in (you know, maybe we should just avoid going into creepy-looking ravines in general). Of course, the resulting mêlée and general chaos just between the fighting Ogres and Cyclopes who were beating on each other when not batting at the Harpies screeching and circling around their heads had been rather hard on the landscape. And, this was just the Fell Beasts fighting it out...Edmund and I had been too preoccupied with not getting stepped on, swatted, carried off (Harpies are stronger than they look), or generally squished and/or flattened to actually participate in the fight.

I looked around once more then shrugged, "Well, we found where the Fell Beasts were hiding and we even managed to take care of the problem...sort of."

Edmund glared at me before intoning, "I hate you."

I couldn't help myself...I laughed softly, "I know."

"Your cavalier attitude is not appreciated, Kat." For a boy who wasn't going to be twelve for another two months, Edmund has a rather expansive vocabulary, which he typically pulled out when he's annoyed and on his way to being irate. I blame the lessons in rhetoric...besides I wasn't being cavalier, I was being blasé. He started to leave, only to turn back and point at me, "This is all your fault, Kat, and I'm going to make sure Oreius knows it."

Glancing over my shoulder, I had to sigh. Oreius was probably going to take the details of the report about as well as when he found out about the little incident in Glasswater. Following Edmund back to camp, I tried to come up with a perfectly reasonable explanation why our run to fill some of the extra waterskins resulted in a Fell Beast free-for-all...I didn't have one.

Honestly, I suppose it could have been worse...I mean, in the end our troop of soldiers caught and eliminated the last of the Fell Beasts in the area and they were so dazed from the earlier ruckus that it was easier than first assumed. Unfortunately, Oreius had about the same reaction as Edmund when he learned the exact details of the ruckus that had benefitted our efforts...only it was about a hundred times greater and longer (not to mention louder). The bucket of ice-cold river water (does river water even come in any other temperature?) he tossed on me the next morning, I let pass because, well, mainly because Ardon stopped me before I could throw the coffee pot at the unsuspecting, ill-tempered, annoying Kentauri's head. Although, as we headed back to Cair Paravel, I did notice that Edmund and Peter were conspiring together even more so than usual...well, I suppose I should keep an eye out for any stray (and not-so-stray) pranks that came my way. Still, I wasn't too worried since I had been masterminding enough pranks (including two dye jobs that I can't think about without snickering) that the boys were entitled to a single revenge prank...besides what could they possibly do that would top what I had already done?

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A/N: Please read and review! This story is all about Peter and Edmund and...a couple others...getting their revenge on Kat for all the pranks she has played on them in the past. The pranks start in earnest in the next chapter. Leave a review and let me know what y'all think about this one and if you have any suggestions for different ways Kat should be pranked include them in your review or PM me.