NoName-chan: I'M BACK, BABY! XD
Kanda: Nobody cares.
Lenalee and Lavi: We're the main characters of this fic! :D
Allen: Wait, what? Start over. What's happening here?
NoName-chan: Well, when I said "I'M BACK, BABY! XD", I was referring to the fact that this is the first time in a while that I've posted/updated any comedy fics. The only thing I've done recently is begin my mystery fic, "Off Radar," and so far, nobody likes it. At all. But, hey, I like it so I'll continue it at some point. Anyways, I came up with the idea to do a Sleeping Beauty DGM Crossover about a month ago. So I'd jotted down the idea, but I hadn't actually started writing it. Then two days ago, I went through all my story ideas to see what to keep and what to delete and came across the idea for this. I still really liked the idea, so I decided to actually start writing it. I got bored. REALLY quickly. I was actually about to delete what I'd written so far when the best idea ever came to me: I COULD MAKE THIS A SEMI-CRACK COMEDY FIC! So I did. AND IT WAS SO MUCH FUN TO WRITE! XD Plus, out of all my stories so far, the one that's doing the best is my one and only semi-crack Oneshot, "The Karaoke Plan." Apparently, you people think I'm funny when I make DGM characters do stupid things, so here we are! Though, remember: this is SEMI-crack. It's incredibly cracky, yes, but there IS an actual story here! So, yeah. This contains LaviLena, Yullen, and possible KroryxMiranda.
Allen: WOW. That explanation was REALLY long. And I didn't really ask about the pairings, but okay. So the main pairing is LaviLena, and then there's Yullen and possible Kror- WAIT, YULLEN?! WHAT?!
Lavi: *dies of laughter*
Lenalee: *Gets nosebleed*
Kanda: ... I'm going to end you. *Pulls out Mugen*
NoName-chan: EEP! *starts running* Someone... *pant* please... *pant* do... *pant* the Disclaimer!
Road: How about Miranda? Her stuttering is funny.
Miranda: N-N-NoName-chan does n-not own D-DGM!
...
It was a joyous day in the kingdom of Innocence. The subjects of the kingdom were awoken early that morning to the announcement that the king and queen's daughter had been born. Everybody rejoiced- that is, everybody except a certain fairy named Road.
That day, there had been a party planned where the newborn's three chosen fairy godparents would bestow magical gifts upon her. Road had volunteered herself to be one of these fairy godparents nearly the second she'd heard of the child's upcoming arrival.
'The king and queen sat side by side in their thrones, genuine smiles set on their lips. The queen had recently discovered that she would soon be a mother, and both her and her loving husband were overjoyed.
That is, until the large stained glass window of the throne room shattered revealing a beaming fairy with spiky blue hair, golden eyes, a pink, pumpkin-topped umbrella in one hand, thigh-high purple striped socks, and a short, jagged, black dress that matched in color with the set of translucent wings that grew from her back.
"R-ROAD?" the king stuttered after finally recovering from her shocking entrance.
"Good afternoon, Royals!" Road greeted rudely.
"What is it that you need?" the queen questioned.
"I heard that you finally got preggers, Queen! 'Bout time!" the darkly dressed fairy exclaimed. "I came here to tell you that I'll be sure to give your child the best gift I possibly can!"
The king raised an eyebrow. "What makes you think we're going to let you give our child a gift?"
Road laughed. "Why wouldn't you? I'm going to be one of his or her fairy godparents, after all!"
"No way in hell," the king replied shortly. Road's grin changed to a frown.
"Whaaaat? Why nooooot?" she whined.
The king rolled his eyes. "For one thing, we don't like you, nor do we trust you in any way whatsoever. Then there's the fact that you aren't exactly good with gifts. We let you give our son a gift, and now he's a psychopath who builds giant robots all day!"
"Hey! I think the mad scientist gift is pretty cool!" the fairy defended.
"No! Just no! You aren't giving our newborn a gift, and that's final!" the king shouted.
Road's expression turned dark. "Alright. FINE. But know that this isn't over. I'll make sure you regret this." After exchanging one last glare with the royal couple, the fairy flew from the throne room back the way she'd come.'
Now the child had been born- a baby girl. Road was beyond enraged. She knew exactly how she'd get back at the king and queen for refusing her "gracious" offer.
The party began once the sun had set. The subjects of the kingdom filtered into the castle and to a large ballroom where the party was at. Everybody there was on their toes, craning to get a look at one thing: the baby princess who slept peacefully in a golden cradle near the center of the room. The king and queen stood nearby, smiling joyfully at the child, while waiting for the rest of the guests to arrive so that they could begin the ceremony. Soon enough, a child of about eight years came bounding up to the couple, his dark purple hair singed from one of the many experiments he'd ran that day.
"Mom! Dad! The fairies are almost here!" he told them, grinning widely.
"Thank you, Komui," the queen said with a smile, gently adjusting the small bow that laid around her son's neck.
"About how much longer will they be-?" the king began before he was interrupted by a loud shout.
"MOYASHI! GET BACK HERE!"
"NO WAY, BAKANDA!" a second voice shot back.
"P-P-P-PLEASE C-CALM D-DOWN, Y-YOU T-TWO!" a third stuttered nervously. The king, queen, and prince all turned around to find a short boy who appeared to be about 15 with white hair, silver eyes, and and odd red scar over his left eye bounding toward them, the pair of red fairy wings sprouting from his back opening and closing slowly as if he were resisting the urge to fly above the crowd. Close behind him, another boy was giving chase, swinging a katana in an attempt to slice up the other boy. He was about a head taller than the first and looked to be a few years older with sharp angular features, dark cobalt eyes, long blue hair pulled up into a high ponytail, and a pair of dark blue fairy wings that completely contradicted his entire being. Then, finally, several meters behind them, a woman appearing to be in her mid twenties ran, desperately trying to stop the first two, but being unable to catch up as she tripped on nearly everything in her path. Tears flowed from her dark brown eyes, causing the large dark circles around them to sparkle with moisture. Her shoulder-length curly hair held a similar hue to her eyes, despite the small bits of food and drink that adorned it due to her clumsy entrance. From her back, a pair of purple wings bounced up and down as she continued to trip and run at the same time.
Sweat dropped from the royalties' foreheads as they watched the three fairies they had chosen to be their newborn daughter's fairy godparents run about the ballroom, attracting stares of surprise and annoyance wherever they went.
Finally, the queen put a stop to this by greeting simply, "Allen, Kanda, Miranda! It's so lovely to see you!"
The three fairies stopped in their tracks as the queen's sweet voice reached their ears. Their faces began to flush from embarrassment due to the fact that she'd caught them in their childish act.
"IM SO SORRY!" Miranda wailed, dropping to the floor in front of the queen, who chuckled at the familiar behavior.
"It's quite alright. We cant start yet, anyway. We're still waiting for-Ah! Here they are now!"
The three fairies as well as the members of the royal family turned to see the last of their guests arrive- an elderly man with only a single tuft of hair on his head and black circles surrounding his eyes followed by a boy of about 3 with fiery red hair and sparking emerald eyes.
"Good evening, King Bookman," the queen greeted with a friendly smile.
"The same to you, madam," he responded politely, but without the slightest hint of emotion upon his face. The queen then turned her attention to the young boy who stared at the golden cradle where the baby laid in wonder.
"And you must be Prince Lavi," the kind woman greeted with another one of her breathtaking smiles. The young prince looked up at her and nodded his head in response. "Are you here to meet your future wife for the first time?"
The boy's two emerald eyes shot wide. "W-w-wife?" he stuttered. The queen blinked slowly in understanding at his confusion.
"Yes, the young princess sleeping in the cradle will one day be your bride."
"But I don't wanna marry some baby!" Lavi complained, earning a chuckle from the queen.
"Maybe not now, but one day, you may see differently. Anyways, now that you both have arrived, we can begin the gifting ceremony," she said loudly enough for the other guests to hear. All attention was turned to the center of the room where the king, queen, and prince of Innocence kingdom, the three fairy godparents, and the king and prince of Black Order kingdom stood around the golden cradle where the young princess slept peacefully.
"We have decided upon the name we shall give our child!" the king announced. "Her name shall be Lenalee, decided by the queen, the prince, and myself." The entire room cheered in joy, some toasting, "to Princess Lenalee!"
"Now, allow me to introduce Lenalee's three chosen fairy godparents," the king spoke again. The boy with the red wings took a step forward. "Allen Walker." The boy with the blue wings took a step forward as well. "Yuu Kanda." Although it took a slight shove from the queen, the woman with the purple wings stepped forward lastly. "And Miranda Lotto."
The queen spoke this time. "You may now each present one magical gift to the sleeping princess."
Kanda was the first to walk to the side of the golden cradle. "Che. I'm getting this over with. He then pulled a sparkling white wand from a pocket of his black coat, which once again contradicted his entire being, and gently touched the point of it the the princess' forehead. "I grant you the gift of combat, so that you may defend yourself from every harm."
"Seriously, BaKanda?! Combat?! You give a baby girl the ability to FIGHT?! What a stupid gift!" Allen exclaimed in annoyance, earning a death glare from Kanda.
"Oh really? Then what's your fantastic gift, baka moyashi?"
Allen stepped forward, shoving the blue haired fairy aside, and pulled out a wand similar to that of Kanda's. He then made a gesture identical to his and allowed the point of the wand to rest on the baby's forehead. "I give you the gift of beauty, so that all will forever remember your face."
"Wow. Way to be a pervert, moyashi," Kanda smirked.
"Pervert-? WHAT THE HELL?! OH GOD, NO! IM HUNDREDS OF YEARS OLDER THAN HER!"
"Oh, so it's pedophelia?"
"BAKANDA!"
"MOYASHI!"
"AHEM," the queen interrupted before the two boys could get out of hand. "Miranda still needs to present her gift." Allen and Kanda nodded shamefully before stepping away from the cradle. Miranda took their place, replicating their movements with her wand shakily.
"I-I g-give you t-the gift o-of true l-love, so t-that you m-may find the g-greatest happiness t-there is." Everybody sighed in awe at Miranda's gift- except Lavi, of course, who shivered in fear at what it may have meant for him.
"And so concludes the gifting ceremony," the queen announced. "Lenalee had been given the gifts of combat, beauty, and true love."
"Not so fast!" a new voice rang out. Road burst through a beautifully designed stained glass window.
The king groaned. "Can you PLEASE stop breaking my windows? Stained glass is expensive!"
Road ignored him and continued. "King and Queen Lee have disgraced me by declining my offer to be a fairy godparent of the newborn princess, Lenalee, insulting my ability to give excellent gifts-"
"Hey, I think the mad scientist thing is pretty cool!" Komui offered.
"SEE? I TOLD YOU SO! -and refusing to invite me to this party. So as punishment for their rude deeds, I shall be giving the princess a gift of my own, with or without permission!" She flew over to the princess' bedside, raising a shimmering black wand. "I bestow upon you a curse! On your 16th birthday, you shall prick your finger upon a spinning wheel here in the castle. When you do so, you shall die!"
The entire room went silent until Allen spoke up. "... Isn't that a little harsh for not being invited to a party?"
Road turned to glare at the boy, but upon laying her eyes upon him, tackled him with a flying hug. "AAAAALLLLLLLEEEENNNN~!"
"AGH- GET OFF!" Allen shouted. Road pouted.
"Oh, fine~ I've finished what I came here to do anyway. But hey," Road handed Allen a small slip of paper with a wink. "Call me~"
Allen stared at the paper for a few moments. "... What am I supposed to do with a bunch of numbers?"
Road rolled her eyes. "Are you deaf? CALL ME." The rest of the room stared at her in bewilderment. Suddenly, a girl with long white hair and eyes that changed color stepped forward and started whispering something in Road's ear. The dark fairy's face formed an expression of realization. "OOOOH So this is set in medieval times. I get it now."
"Who the hell is that?" Kanda asked, pointing to the white haired girl.
"That's NoName-chan," Road replied easily.
"NoName-chan?"
"You know? The authoress?" Kanda gave her a blank stare. The white haired girl, NoName-chan, whispered something else in Road's ear. "Wait, you mean I'm the only one aware that there's an authoress and that this is a story?" NoName-chan nodded her head.
"Authoress? Story? What?" Allen asked.
"Nothing~" Road replied in a sing song voice. "It'd take a long time to explain and it's really not that important. But, yeah, with that, I'll take my leave. Remember: 16th birthday. Spinning wheel. Death. K? K." And with that, Road exited by smashing through an even larger window than the one through which she'd entered, earning another groan from the king, and disappeared into the night.
The queen burst into tears. "OUR POOR BABY LENALEE!" The king and older prince soon joined in.
"W-w-wait! W-we cant completely b-break the c-curse, b-but I think w-we can c-change it!" Miranda stammered, raising her wand, and looking at the other two fairies expectantly. They seemed to get the message and did the same as the entire kingdom watched them hopefully. Miranda began to counter the curse with the help of Allen and Kanda. The magic of their wands sparkled brightly, which ONCE AGAIN completely contradicted Kanda's entire being, and soon dimmed back to their normal glow.
"Well?" the king asked expectantly.
"W-well, w-we did the b-best we c-could, your m-majesty," Miranda stammered.
"And?"
"We were able to change it so that rather than death, she will sleep a deep sleep along with the rest of the kingdom for 100 years or until she is awoken by true love's kiss," Allen answered.
"W-what?" the king stammered in shock.
Somebody put a hand on Prince Lavi's shoulder. "It's all up to you, buddy." The redhead paled to a new shade of white before passing out.
"IM SORRY!" Miranda cried, throwing herself to the floor once again.
"No, Miranda, don't be. A deep sleep is much better than death. What you've done is much better. It's just that we wouldn't even be in this mess if it weren't for Road," the king explained.
"Well, there are some things that we can do to prevent the curse from coming true," the queen suggested, and the room turned their attention to her. "First of all, we must dispose of all the spinning wheels in the kingdom. As long as she never pricks her finger, the curse cannot come true."
The king nodded his head. "Spinning wheels are hereby banished from the kingdom for the next 16 years! They shall all be burned tonight!" The kingdom shouted in agreement before marching from the palace to search the land for spinning wheels.
The king marched off as well to do his part of the burning arrangements, and Komui left to help King Bookman drag Prince Lavi, who was still unconscious, to their room for the night. Soon, the ballroom was empty except for the queen, the three fairies, and little Princess Lenalee.
The fairies turned to help with the burning when they were suddenly stopped by the queen's voice. "Wait! I have one last thing I want to ask of you three as Lenalee's fairy godparents."
"Anything at all, your majesty," Allen said for all three of them, and neither of the other two fairies objected.
"While everyone is distracted by the burning of the spinning wheels, I want you three to take Lenalee deep into the forest somewhere. Build a cottage. Raise her there as a commoner until her 16th birthday has passed. Then bring her back here so that she may resume her life as a princess. But whatever you do, don't allow her to come back into the kingdom or tell her who she really is until then. And please keep her safe."
The queen's request shocked the three fairies. They couldn't believe that the queen was selfless enough to give up her daughter in order to keep her safe. But nonetheless, they accepted, and when the fire was at its highest and the inhabitants of the kingdoms were all distracted by the burning of the spinning wheels, the three fairies snuck out with Lenalee, doing as the queen instructed them and using their magic to create a cottage for them all to live in for the next 16 years in the middle of the forest, far away from any town.
And from there, they raised Lenalee in secret, not giving her even the slightest clue as to who she really was.
Prologue End
...
Allen: ...
Kanda: ...
Lavi: ...
Lenalee: ...
Miranda: ...
Road: ...
NoName-chan: *sips tea*
All: YOU PUT YOURSELF IN THE STORY?!
NoName-chan: Yup.
All: WHY?!
NoName-chan: Because I'm going to have a lot of fun with this *Evil grin*
Road: *Yelp* Her grin is even scaring ME!
Miranda: W-wow. T-that's saying something!
Allen: I fear for my masculinity.
Kanda: I fear for my dignity.
Lavi: I fear for my life as a bachelor.
Lenalee: I fear for my virginity.
Komui: I also fear for Lenalee's virginity. And her purity. AND HER BEAUTIFUL SMILE! AND-
NoName-chan: *knocks Komui out with a shovel* NO RANTING!
Road: Nah, you'll be fine, Lenalee. This is rated T.
NoName-chan: Yup~! Anyways, I already have Chapter 1 written. It's like twice as long as the prologue, very crack-y, a bit fluffy, incredibly demoralizing for Allen, Kanda, and Lavi, and contains mass amounts of bucket abuse! Stay tuned~!
