"You are...back to...stay?" It was more of a plea than a question.

"Only until arrangements can be made for another governess." She turned and walked inside the house, wanting to look back at him but her resolve won out and she hurried into the house without the backward glance she craved so badly.

Maria had broken into a run as soon as she was sure she was out of sight of the Captain and the Baroness. Gratefully she hurtled through the door into her old room, unable to bare the sight of the Baroness and the Captain stood together which still lingered in front of her eyes. Desperately trying not to allow herself to cry, she shut the door, leaned back against it and felt herself slide down it to the floor. This was going to be unbearable. How could she possibly stay here and be cheerful and happy around the children she loved so dearly, when inside her heart was breaking? All the hope she had nursed since her conversation with the Reverend Mother had gone, leaving her with an empty space that even the seven children she had come to love more than anything couldn't quite fill. Why did the Baroness have to come to speak to her on the night of the party? She could have gone on believing that nothing was amiss between her and the Captain, enjoying witnessing the blossoming relationship between him and his children- a happy observer. The captain's intentions towards her had never crossed her mind until that night-the night when the Baroness had told her that the Captain desired her, wanted to make her his mistress. And she was hardly any better. She had known that her feelings towards him had changed since their argument by the lake and had dismissed it as just growing respect and admiration, yet that night she saw her feelings for what they truly were and was so ashamed. Ashamed of her feelings, her betrayal of God and ashamed that she could have somehow made the Captain want her in such a way, she had instantly fled. She had fully intended to take her vows to complete her ambition to become a nun as soon as possible and yet her heart had leapt when the Reverend Mother had suggested that the Baroness may have read the situation incorrectly. Perhaps it was not just lust on his part but rather love that he was afraid to show for fear of frightening her away but now she saw how entirely wrong she had been. He and the Baroness were engaged to be married and she had to leave again- she was not needed here.

"Dinner is served in five minutes, Freulein," came the excited voice of Marta from the other side of the door.

"I'm coming, sweetheart," she replied in as bright a voice as she could muster and stood up from her slumped position, straightening her dress. She walked into the bathroom and splashed some water into her face to freshen up and mentally prepared herself for the torture ahead. With a deep breath and one last look in the mirror she left the room and joined Marta in walking down the stairs to dinner.

He loved her. It had hit him in that moment- it was more than respect, more than gratefulness for what she had done for him and his children and more than a passing wave of lust as he had assumed on the night of the party. Only then when she had told him she could not stay had he even allowed himself to consider it, but looking at the sadness in her beautiful face it had hit him with the force of a tonne of bricks that he was in love with her. This would not go away with time; he needed her with him, by his side as his wife and in his bed as his lover.

How could he have been so stupid? He had honestly believed that proposing to the Baroness was the right thing to do. Sure he knew he wasn't in love with her but he did love her in his way and at his age, in his position surely that was all he could hope for? What a mess it all was. The poor Baroness did not deserve to be engaged to, let alone married to a man, who was clearly in love with another woman. How could he have not seen it sooner? Deep down he must have known he was in love but it had crept up on him so gradually.

He had to know. One word from her and he would end his engagement with Baroness; he just needed to know how she felt. As he watched her walk away from him and into the house without looking back, he made a silent vow to himself that he would find out tonight. He knew he could live a happy if not entirely fulfilled life with Elsa but life with Maria…he wanted her- needed her and he needed her to want him too. He hoped that she loved him but he could not understand why she had left him. As a postulant, she had not yet taken her vows and therefore would be breaking no promises by marrying him. No, she must have been scared off. She must have left because she had no interest and he had made her feel uncomfortable when they danced on that fateful night. Still, that glimmer of hope urged him on and made his resolve stronger.