A/N: So.. this is a fic that I completely forgot I wrote and found deep in my laptops document abyss titled, "YOU ARE A NERD". I would say it is mostly a character focused fic (Swan Mills Family) with some Emma background and a lot of Regina reaction and revelation, and Henry, he is there too. But of course it is incomplete and utter swan queen trash; it will perhaps be a little slow burn, I haven't quite decided. I will be adding warnings as they become relevant, and as of now I will be updating only when I get a chance, but feel free to share anything you think, or want, or are annoyed about. So yeah, enjoy!
"Storybrooke Sheriff's Department"
"Emma is that you?"
A pause
"How did you know to call me here?"
"Please Emma, hear me out, I need your help"
Another pause
"Please?"
"Are you planning on standing out there all day Miss Swan?"
Regina's voice cut into Emma's thoughts as she lingered awkwardly outside Mayor Mills office, her hands pushed deep in her pockets and her bottom lip trapped hard between her teeth. She couldn't be sure how the mayor was going to react to what she had to tell her, she was certain either way, after this moment she would most likely end up losing every good thing she had found in the past few months.
Inhaling deeply and suppressing the fears that seemed to be forever breaking free from the choke hold she imprisoned them in, Emma ran her hand through her hair and stepped into the Mayor's office, meeting a very dark and very brown gaze. Trying to remain nonchalant about stocking the woman from the door, Emma stepped confidently over to the Mayor's desk never breaking eye contact
"And how is Storybrooke's Mayor doing today?" she smirked, and turned to sit down without waiting for a reply.
"What brings you to my office Miss Swan" came the curt response and uninterested tone Emma had quickly identified as the definition of Regina Mills.
All of the courage Emma had gained from loitering outside the Mayor's door disappeared as she opened her mouth to speak, and looking into the threatening eyes of both the mother of her son, her boss, and the Mayor of the entire town, her words caught in her throat.
Shifting on her seat she attempted to compose herself, tapping her hands against the arm of the chair in a subtle effort to calm the butterflies that were threatening to explode from her stomach, fill up her lungs and choke her to death.
The Mayor raised her eyebrows and scarcely tried to suppress the irritation that the Sheriff evoked upon each and every interaction.
"I need to tell you something" came a quiet, but forceful statement, slightly succeeding in catching the Mayor's attention.
A long pause followed Emma's words.
"Well don't leave me in such dire suspense" the Mayor retorted with a huff of impatience, "I do have a town to run Miss Swan, as you are well aware"
Emma looked up, ignorant to the anger and irritation that she'd become accustomed to. Sass and bickering were the only tones of voice she'd heard from her verbal sparring partner in the months she'd lived in Storybrooke. It made trying to get to know the son who had dragged her from Boston, just a little bit more difficult than Emma had imagined.
"Regina, I'm leaving town tomorrow" She threw the words into the tense air as softly as possible.
"And I might not be back for awhile" Emma paused but continued without looking up, "I was wondering if you could help me break it to Henry, or —"
Her voice had choked to silence and was quickly cut off by the Mayor,
"What do you mean leaving town?" She demanded.
Emma looked up and met eyes that weren't quite as eager for her absence as she expected, nor did they appear angered at her sudden relinquishing of her duties as Sheriff, despite the trouble she'd caused to get the position.
"I mean that I'm leaving Regina" she shifted in her seat again, "I am leaving Storybrooke and Henry and…" She didn't finish her sentence as the confusion that had spread across Regina's face and the slight cocking of her eyebrow finally registered in Emma's mind.
"It's a long story" Emma sighed at the brunette, looking down into the twisting hands in her lap.
"I suppose if you are expecting me to help you tell Henry, you will have to first disclose the information to me as well" the Mayor responded, the small amount of curiosity she felt falling into her words despite her efforts to remain neutral.
Emma sighed softly, "When I was younger, there were some things that, well that I don't ever really talk about" she shrunk into her body as stray memories of doors slamming and lingering frantic yelling broke through her carefully built walls "I have to go do something, there is someone who needs me."
"So you are leaving your son, again? He needs you too" anger spilled from the Mayor's quick response, with gritted teeth she realized that a shot of sadness lingered at the thought of the Sheriff being outside the town limits — quickly passing her emotional response as her desire to protect Henry, Regina turned her attention back outwards.
"Don't put me in that position Regina" came the pained response echoed through sorrow filled eyes. "I don't have a choice" Emma finished ever so softly.
Emma was holding back her impending emotions, but could feel heat gathering behind her eyes at the thought of leaving her son. Without meeting the eyes of the Mayor she rose from her chair quickly turning towards the door.
"I'm going to pick Henry up from school, I'll tell him and bring him to your place after" Emma muttered.
Though she felt as if it came out as more of a question she didn't have time to correct herself, reaching for the doorknob, while tears threatened her eyes.
"Wait" was the only sound that came from behind her as she continued to move towards the door.
Emma tried to calculated her options but couldn't focus with tears almost spilling, and the threat of losing her son mixed with her fear of returning to somewhere she swore she would never go back to. All she wanted to do was throw her body down and let the air suffocate her.
"Please" came a continued plea, and Emma could hear the slight concern in Regina's commanding voice.
Suddenly frozen between the Mayor and the door, Emma heard heels clip across the floor and felt a hand rest softly on her shoulder. She closed her eyes at the touch, tears lingering beneath her eyelids as she refrained from turning her head. She felt the increased desire to run but her feet were heavy, and as much as Regina angered her, the thought of leaving both her and Henry was tearing at her. She might have been unsettled when she came to Storybrooke, but somehow it had become a home to her, and the last thing she wanted to do was destroy everything she had built with her son, Ruby, Mary Margaret, and hell even Regina.
"Emma" the Mayor finished softly, pulling Emma's shoulder to face her.
Shock filled Regina as she met green embers that brimmed with horror and pain, she hadn't realized how much fear Emma had when she'd crossed the room, and unable to fully grasp what was taking place in front of her she slowly lifted her other hand, placing it on the broken woman's shoulder. Taken over by her motherly instincts she brought the trembling women into an embrace.
"It's going to be okay Emma" she soothed softly, rubbing small circles on the woman's back without realizing her actions, too concerned with the shaking body in her arms, and the look in eyes she had only before seen reflected in glass.
"And what if it's not" came a muffled reply followed by a desperate intake of breath as tears threatened to escape Emma's rigid frame.
Regina just squeezed her tighter, becoming more and more aware of the pang of fear and concern that was growing deep within her chest.
There was a dry silence in the Mayor's office, as Regina released Emma who pulled back aggressively, and both attempted to gather themselves, masks slipping onto faces so easily in the afternoon light.
"Regina I —" Emma stuttered. Her voice a rasp of emotion in the moment that had somehow created itself, when all Emma was trying to do was hand in her resignation. But, when was anything ever so simple with Regina.
"You know I don't want to leave him right?" Emma threw the words into the room, and felt the honesty rip itself through her chest.
Regina looked at the women in front of her, the blonde, cocky idiot who had waltzed into her town and stood toe to toe with her. There was no doubting that Emma loved Henry, Regina had seen it on more than one occasion. And as much as it terrified her to know that Emma had that much of a hold on her son, she didn't know if she could crush Emma so completely by saying the opposite.
Regina opened her mouth to speak, whether to reassure, or to cause more damage she had no idea, but in the end all that came out was a simple, "I do".
The shock on Emma's face would almost be comical, if it weren't for her red rimmed eyes and the thickness still lingering in the air.
"Good" Emma broke the mood like glass and visibly watched as the Mayor inflated with what she imagined to be steaming anger, growing taller and dominating the entirety of the room in seconds.
"You misunderstand me Miss Swan, I may know that you love Henry, but the more important question, and the one I believe you should be more concerned with, is as to whether or not Henry knows this as well" Regina took a step backwards, placing a hand on her stomach to regulate her emotions.
Calmly she turned back to her desk and standing with one hand over the paperwork that had become scarcely important anymore, glanced up at the Sheriff and with a tilt of her head continued,
"You see I don't know what else Henry could possibly think, if you plan on abandoning him a second time".
Emma hardly flinched at the escalating venom, it wasn't new, it wasn't even that original of an insult from Regina. It still hurt, in one of the deepest and most profound ways, to think of having to leave her son twice as abandonment, but knowing Regina now, Emma knew for certain this was his best chance. Despite the bitter, antagonistic and downright frigid demeanour of the Mayor, Emma knew that there was an unwavering love and interminable care for him here. Something safe and controlled, and everything Emma could never have, or give, or possibly imagine.
"Okay" Emma said, looking up to the Mayor with a genuine smile that grew from the memories she held of her son, and the hope she held in the woman standing in front of her. She knew that Henry would be safe, and that was enough, in every imagined definition of the word.
Regina was startled by the Sheriff's response and remained silent as she watched the women drop her badge gently on her desk and leave her office without another word. There was an emptiness growing at the thought of a sheriff-less Storybrooke. Something that had been filled by the blonde for the short time she had been present was slowly emptying and Regina felt colder than she had in months. It was strange to think, but perhaps she really did not want Emma to go, and maybe, just maybe she could find a way to prevent just that.
Emma made her way to the school quickly as there was hardly any traffic, and watching the small businesses and abandoned building signs faded from rain and sun pass by, she felt empty at the thought of leaving the town. Somehow without noticing and without trying, she had found a home here. Admits the feud between Regina and her roommate Mary Margret, in the heated arguments she witnessed daily between Ruby and Granny, and in the eternal contest she had with Regina ever since she sped past the town sign to bring Henry back to where he belonged. There was something safe here, something welcoming that Emma had somehow become a part of in the 6 months she had been in Storybrooke.
Pulling her yellow bug into the elementary school parking lot Emma walked up the path to the main doors just in time to watch the kids burst through, running in haphazard directions every which way, as soon as she found Henry in the mass of heads and chaos, Emma realized without a doubt, this was where she belonged.
"Emma, hey!" Henry yelled, as he separated himself from the pack and landed straight into her waiting arms. "What are you doing here?" He pulled away quickly, and Emma realized that this was something he had gotten used to, having her here, and she was going to do the same thing that every adult in her life had ever done: abandon him.
"I thought we could grab some ice-cream and hang out a bit before you had to head home" Emma said, adding as much enthusiasm to her voice but Henry looked at her like she had two heads before responding.
"And Mom said you could?" The scepticism bleeding through his voice as he repositioned his backpack and headed straight for Emma's bug without a glance back.
It was obvious to Emma that whether or not Regina said he could, Henry was in fact going to get ice-cream; the question was merely a stepping stone to a larger one he didn't know how to ask.
"Mhm" Emma spoke as naturally as possible before grinding the gears just a little to get the bug out of the lot and headed towards Any Given Sundae, which they had stopped at the many times Emma had, and had not been allowed to see Henry.
He spent the drive talking about his day. And though Storybrooke wasn't entirely interesting, there was enough enthusiasm in Henry's storytelling to make multiplication tables sound fascinating.
"You want Rocky Road, or the Chocolate Swirl?" Emma pulled the keys out of the bug and opened the door, after pulling off the road. Waiting for an answer she looked back into the car and was faced with an empty seat, and a pat to her left arm.
"What I want" Henry commanded, as all knowing as ever, "is for you to tell me why you are acting so weird" he finished with a turn towards the store door, pausing as he opened the clear glass with a ding, and a quick spoken "and Rocky Road duh" was all he left Emma with as she followed him into the shop.
"Hey Ingrid" Emma greeted before looking at the board with all of the flavours for a millisecond and continuing, "can we get some Chocolate Swirl —"
" — and a Rocky Road" Ingrid finished with a smirk before handing the Rocky Road to Henry and beginning to scoop the second cone.
"I can see the bright yellow through the window" Ingrid smirked before taking the money Emma handed her, and giving her the Chocolate Swirl.
Emma and Ingrid talked for a few seconds while Henry wandered with his ice-cream looking around at all the different mirrors that lined all the walls from ceiling to floor and decorated the store. He could see Emma smiling in the reflection of one of the mirrors that also let him see out of the front window and as he kept catching glimpses of the two talking, he could tell that Emma didn't look quite happy.
"You better get that eaten before your Mom sees it Henry" Ingrid smiled softly as she watched the two exit the store, Emma nudging Henry towards the door and giving him a playful shove as they started walking down the main street.
"So?" Henry questioned before licking the edge of his cone with a little slurp.
"So what?" Emma retorted, digging her teeth in with a crunch and balancing the teetering blob as they walked.
"What did you do? Or what are you gonna do? Or why are you being so weird?"
He stopped in front of Emma and turned around, quickly looking up at her before she could catch the sadness that was seeping into her face.
"Can you wait 30 seconds and just enjoy your ice-cream?" Emma countered, with a shuffle to the side, and another shove, "I promise I will tell you, just not yet, okay kid?" She stopped at a bench and waited for Henry to join her.
"Not really" Henry spoke as he sat, "You can tell me now, and I'm not really a kid. Plus I'm sure Mom will get over whatever you did" he finished with a shrug, now more focused on his cone as he began working on the edges.
"Why do you think this has something to do with Regina? Emma countered, suddenly very uninterested with her chocolate swirl.
"Because, whenever you are all weird it is usually because Mom is mad about something, and it's been awhile since you did anything really bad, so she'll probably forgive you"
He was so certain that everything would be fine that Emma began feeling sick to her stomach.
"Not this time" She mumbled quietly.
It had taken Henry months to start working through his issues about being adopted, she knew he had felt alone and having Emma there to eventually show him that the cold Mayor wasn't all bad had been really good for him. She was like another Mom to him, and I guess she really was. He had said it only once before, it was by accident when Regina had agreed to let him stay over night after days of his pestering her, and Emma still didn't know if it had been from habit or if it was something that he just hadn't thought about. It tugged at her, knowing that he would be alone again.
"Nope" Henry spoke matter of factly, "You are her only friend, so she has to forgive you" he finished his sentence and put the last bit of cone in his mouth.
Emma stared at him, contemplating his words quickly.
"You think we're friends?" She looked at him hard before tossing the rest of her ice-cream into the nearby trash.
"Mhmmm, of course you are" Henry spoke around a mouthful of cone and it came out mostly muffled. "So you gonna tell me now?" He spoke after he swallowed, turning to Emma expectantly.
Emma mentally prepared herself, gathering her courage before turning and speaking as coherently as she could.
"Henry, I have to go to New York and do some things, I don't really know how long it is going to take, and I don't know when I can be back, but I will be, okay?" Emma spoke quickly, but clearly and the horror on Henry's face was enough to let her know he understood.
"You're leaving!?" He was almost yelling, and on his feet in seconds. "But why?" He continued, looking around as if the answer was somewhere in the air for him to find. "Why would you leave when everything is finally good!? Is it me? You didn't want me right? So now that you are sure Mom's not beating me, or locking me in the basement you are just going to go!?" His little body was trembling as he shot accusations.
Emma was on her feet and moved closer to him as he spoke, wrapping her arms around him with his final words, and he gave in hugging her back tightly.
"Look kid I know" She wasn't sure what to say, or what to do but instinct seemed to be working and she knew she had to say something to soothe him.
"I really don't want to go" She spoke each word with purpose, "I am not going because I want to, or because I don't love you okay?" A muffled response came from Henry and she took it as an okay before proceeding, "Someone really needs me, like you needed me here, and I won't be gone forever"
"Promise?" Henry said as he sat up.
Emma could feel herself losing her grip on her emotions, he looked so betrayed and she knew there was only one right answer to this question.
"I promise" She quieted him with the words, and taking his hand she led him back to the bug.
The car ride to 108 Mifflin Street was quiet, Henry wanted to enjoy his probable last time with Emma alone before she left, but it just wasn't the same knowing that she would be leaving so soon. He wanted to ask her why exactly she was leaving, and what was so important that she had to leave her family, but he didn't know how to.
Emma pulled up in front of the big white house and looking past the perfectly trimmed shrubs she felt a different feeling looking at the house then she ever had before. It wasn't like the first time she dropped Henry off there, it wasn't ominous, or unknown. It was a symbol of safety, and home for Henry, it was where the woman that raised him and loved him lived, and instead of frowning at its sight as she moved towards the walk Emma instead felt warmth the closer she came to the door.
There was movement in the window before the front door opened and Henry moved quicker up the walk to hug Regina. Who when Emma thought about it, must have come home earlier than usually knowing he might be upset.
"Miss Swan?" Regina called across the front yard just as Emma started to turn back to her car, "You are welcome for dinner."
There was a smirk there and Emma didn't want to know what the Mayor was planning as she turned back towards the door, simply happy to see Henry for just a bit longer before she went home to pack.
