--Greed, Dorchet, Archer, and Roy shuffle out-
All: Phantom Hobbit doesn't own Fullmetal Alchemist, a little old lady, or a 7-11. Or anything else you do or do not recognize.
ALL HE WANTED WAS SOME DORITOS
Greed thought he had everything planned out: Recruit a couple chimeras, become immortal, get revenge for being imprisoned for 140 freakin' years (It was just a joke you hag!); the usual stuff. Then he got hungry.
"So hungry… Argh! Isn't there anywhere to get something to eat here!?!?" the subject of this story yelled angrily from the road that was conveniently located in the center of the shopping district of Dublith.
He was here because chimera that usually cooked at the Devil's Nest was sick and even though Dorchet and Martel had gone to get take out, Greed decided he was too hungry (and too greedy) to wait. This is where our story begins.
"So hungry…", moaned Greed in an un-greedish way. The hunger was getting to him. Suddenly he spotted something out of the corner of his eye. A 7-11!! He could get Doritos there! And Mountain Dew…the nectar of the gods.(1)
Swiftly, he got to his feet and dashed to the entrance. Unfortunately, as he made to go in, he bumped into a little old lady. Most unfortunate. For Greed, that is. He was about to brush past her when the little old lady started yelling.
"Watch where you are going young whippersnapper! Why, when I was you age I didn't run into old ladies! For shame! What is this world coming to!?!?" the little old lady ranted.
"Listen lady-"
"OLD lady."
"Listen old lady, I just want to get something to eat. I don't like fighting women."
"That gives you no right to come barreling in, running over little old ladies!" she yelled again and whacked him on the head with her cane.
"Ow! That really hurt!" he said, his head throbbing.
"You must learn your lesson!" she shrieked and continued to whack him with un-old lady-like strength.
"That's it lady! I don't like fighting women but you're goin' down!" Greed yelled back. Suddenly, he was surrounded by an army of cane cane-wielding little old ladies.
-------
Five hours later, Greed drug himself into the Devil's Nest. He had lost his wallet and was still hungry. Dorchet and Martel looked up from their pizza.
"He probably just annoyed the old ladies again," Dorchet said, shrugging. Then he went back to eating his breadsticks.
FIN
Poor Greed… Did he really deserve that? Probably. Ah well. -Goes and eats Dorchet's pizza- Yummy!
The old ladies reminded me of the French knights from Monty Python. They were so much fun to write and they strangely remind me of myself. That's a bad thing, isn't it?
(1)- That's what my older sister, El loco uno calls it...yes, shamless plugging...go read her stories...she commands you.
R&R
