Author's Note: This is more a writing exercise for myself than anything else – write a coherent story entirely in speech. The next challenge? A fic entirely in prose, of course. Which should be interesting.

Ownership? Nout.


"Blaine? Blaine. What do you think you're doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Well, it looks like you're stripping, but you know how I feel about – oh."

"'Oh'? What do you mean, 'oh'? Why are you looking at me like that? You hate it, don't you?"

"No, it's not – Blaine, is that your 'Born This Way' shirt?"

"Yes, Kurt. Obviously."

"It says 'Likes Kurt'."

"Again, obvious."

"I – Blaine, you do realize the point of these shirts is to write something about yourself that you didn't used to like, but you've now embraced?"

"...Shit. I did wonder why Rachel had written 'Nose' on hers."

"There's a whole back-story to that. I'll tell you about it sometime."

"Hm. I should go take this off, shouldn't I?"

"No, keep it on. I appreciate the thought that your go-to statement to describe yourself is 'Likes Kurt'. Just don't wear it to any of Rachel's 'Born This Way' parties."

"You have themed parties? That's adorable."

"No, Rachel has themed parties. I'm just subjected to them."

"...So, what should my shirt say?"

"Hmm... What about... 'Eyebrows'?"

"Yeah, I – wait, what?"

"What?"

"What do you mean, 'eyebrows'? What's wrong with my eyebrows? Kurt, don't you walk away from me!"

"It's just – seriously, have you not noticed? Has no one mentioned it to you?"

"Mentioned what? What'swrongwiththem?"

"Don't get hysterical! It's nothing, just forget I mentioned it. I'm not going to be the one to tell you. So, for your shirt –"

"Don't change the subject. Tell me what's so horrific about my eyebrows."

"There's nothing 'horrific' about them! I – fine. They're shaped like triangles, okay? If eyebrows were crisps, yours would be Doritos. They resemble heavily burnt, fluffy pizza slices. They're the Invisibility Cloak of the Deathly Hallows. They're like black Triforce segments. They're –"

"Okay, how many of these do you have?"

"Oh, loads."

"Do you spend your free time thinking of eyebrow metaphors?"

"No, no, no... Well. After Rachel's train wreck of a party, I alternated between screaming abuse at Finn, eyebrow metaphors and crying into various pots of ice-cream."

"Poor Finn... You know how sorry I am though?"

"Of course I do. You've more than made it up to me. That doesn't mean I spontaneously forgot all of my genius eyebrow references. Now, come on, let's go make your shirt."

"Kurt, you've just referred to my eyebrows as pizzas, Doritos, the Invisibility Cloak, the Triforce... I'm not even close to embracing them yet."


Author's Note: ...So, was that an utter fail? Hmm. Not sure.

On the plus side, I've started a new, proper fic. It's on paper, and there's been research. There may even be angst. In fact, why am I saying 'might', I know there'll be angst, I'm the one writing it. It'll still be mainly humour though.