second fanfic! this feels soo cool!

well, this fanfic is inspired by my dad´s troubles when we go shopping, because he has three daughters.

and because i loove Despicable me, i watched it for the third time this saturday! third time in three weeks! and everytime i watch it i love it more and more and more...

well, these are Gru´s adventures for the first time he and his kittens went shopping, and he is the narrator.

i dont own Despicable me, but i would love to own one minion, or Gru himself *evil laugh*

and as always, read, review and enjoy!


Shopping time! (Oh, no!)

If someone could ask me which one is the hardest task for a single dad, I would immediately say one thing:

"Shopping time. It is hell! Do you know what is like waiting for more than two hours inside of those pinky boutiques, with presumptuous cashier ladies who think you have enough money for their ridiculously high prices?"

And then it would lead me to tell you the story of the first time I had to go shopping with my kittens.

It all started a Saturday. It was dinner time, which leads me to the 2nd hardest task for a dad: cooking.

I love cooking since I was little, because my mom used to forget that I had to eat 3 times a day. But one thing is cooking perfect meals, and other one is cooking frozen chicken nuggets and potato fries shaped as abc´s; because your kittens won't eat anything else. And of course, I had to eat them too. I hate to say this, but as the time came by I even started to enjoy those synthetic pieces of "100% chicken" with yellow dye.

Anyway, I'm digressing. As I was saying, I was unfreezing that plastic thing that is supposed to be nuggets, when the three girls entered to the kitchen, followed by 15 minions.

"Dad, we need to talk" Margo said, solemnly.

"Forr de last time: I won´t buy the real size chocolate unicorrn you saw on e-bay"

"Awww!" all the minions, and Agnes, sighed sadly

"Why not?"Agnes asked frustrated: "we NEED it!"

"We are NOT talking about unicorns, Gru. We need new clothes" Edith said seriously

And then I made a huge mistake.

"Whut is wrrong with yourr actual clothes?" I asked, innocently and I was showered with complaints:

"They don't fit anymore!"

"They are all torn"

"They look always dirty"

"Why can't I have the chocolate unicorn?"

"O´right, o´right! Shut it! I got it! Well… Agnes can wearr Edith´s clothes, and Edith can wearr Marrgo´s."

"What about me?" Margo complained

"I think Tim is yourr size."

"What? I won't wear a minion clothes!"

Margo looked at me, with her funny face of anger.

"Ok…" I sighed "I will send two minions with you. Now, get out of ma kitchen, you know da…"

"No! Do you remember what happened the last time they went with us?" Edith shouted dramatically, "they spent all the money on six different versions of Copacabana! And they wanted me to wear a dress! A flower DRESS!"

"I don't see tha problem wit dat"

"I DON'T wear flower dresses. I have my own style." She replied folding her arms

"Styyleee…" all the minions sighed.

"Come on, daddy! Can we go? Pleeeasee?" they all asked me with their puppy eyes. I can resist minion´s puppy eyes, but my own two kittens…

And I sighed again, there was anything I could do.

"O´right. But have your dinner first."

A tiny voice came from behind:

"Can I have the chocolate unicorn?"

"Nope"

"Shoot!"

And after dinner we went to the Mall. Agnes was holding my leg, but the other two girls, and three minions that came with us, were running from showcase to showcase:

"Oh my! Look at that dress"

"I know, it's beautiful"

"I love those shoes!"

"Dakaniya! Ooooohh! Dakaniya!"

"Daddy they are scary." Agnes said from my left leg

"Yeah, kittn, I know."

After half an hour of walking through the mall, they decided to go inside a frighteningly pink shop, called "The Little Pinky Princess and Fairies Boutique for Girls"

Whoah, I thought, I've got a new idea for a torture chamber.

And after less than 5 minutes, they had gone to the fitting rooms carrying their weight in clothes, and I was just sitting there, feeling uncomfortable with the affecting look of all the women inside that little store, and the sickly sweet smell that smelled exactly like my mother´s perfume, which made it distasteful.

Maybe this is the worst idea I had in my life, even worse than…

"Pitty?" a minion asked, pulling my leg, and when I turned around he was holding a pink dress over his body and smiling.

"No, you don't look prretty. And you know I'm not paying that, rright?" he sighed and walked away, dragging the pink dress, and almost crashing against Margo, who was running in my direction with two blue dresses, one in each hand.

"Daddy! Which one looks better on me?" she held one dress over her body, and then the other one. "This one or this one?"

"They look exactly the same forr me".

"Oh, dad, you don't know anything about fashion!" she complained and ran to the fitting rooms.

I sighed again and saw Agnes, who was very busy playing with her Little Pony's and saying something about chocolate magical unicorns, unaware of the pink madness surrounding us. And then I saw Edith, who was beside me with a big, big smile.

"Daddy… I was wondering…. There´s a girl who took the last makeover kit, and I seriously needed it and I'm sure she doesn't need it as bad as I do... So I thought you could maybe… disintegrate her."

"No"

"Ok, ok! Then could you just… freeze her? Please?"

"I won't frreeze anybody forr a stupid makeover kit, Edith" I replied. "Besides, I'm not buying a makeover kit forr you!"

"Why not? I'm sure you would buy it if it were for Margo" she said resentfully

"Of courrse I would. She´s nine yearrs old. You'rre just seven yearrs old."

"You are a bad person!" she shouted, and walked away stomping her feet.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm evil! I'm de worrst fatherr of de world! Despicable me!"

"Urgh!" she growled in the distance and locked herself inside the fitting room.

Margo came out of the fitting room and walked shyly in Edith´s opposite direction, right in front of me.

"What did you found, kittn? I asked her with my sweetest voice; maybe I had been too long inside that stupid boutique.

"Nothing" she admitted, lowering her head.

"What? This boutique is full of clothes, and you didn´t found ANYTHING? How is it possible?"

"Let's just look for another boutique" she replied.

But the story repeated for the other boutiques we visited. It was almost time to close the mall, and we had already gone to every girl's boutique of it, but still they couldn't find anything.

I should have sent the minions, I thought, when i was sitting outside of the third boutique we had visited today.

I wouldn´t mind listening to Copacabana in six different versions.