Death awaits

The tears slid down her cheeks as she looked through her messages once more. Your to depressing to talk to' one said. She glared at the small screen. Another read 'get a life freak!'

A million thoughts ran through her mind. Part said 'revenge girl, go for revenge' another voice whispered. 'Die... let them cry over your lifeless body' she fought with herself. Revenge was becoming better sounding.

But she cant do it. She doesn't want others to feel as she did. She didn't want others to feel like they needed to be: cold, sad and ruthless to get attention, only to be pushed away. She remembered the way people treated her when they saw her black clothes and newly dyed black hair. They laughed and called her horrible names.

She remembered the feeling of a blade on her arm and the rope around her neck, several suicide attempts and cutting herself still. When she had started doing drugs and smoking, her mother kicked her out. She lived off peoples sick parties and she stayed at random people's houses.

The one thing she remembered was, why she did it. Most thought it was because her mother hated her and her brother had been taken, but they were wrong. The one person was the blond haired, light blue eyed, mischievous boy she trusted after she left. Instead of him loving her when she had been paused in time. He turned his back on her.

When time started coming back to her, she remembered her friend telling her that he had left. betraying her for the enemy. But even before him, she hated the whole crush thing, even though she had some. There was this one boy, when she was in second grade that she really liked. They would both text each other all the time. After a while she got tired of always being first to start a conversation. She was tired of smiling at things she didn't think was funny, she only smiled so he would get some 'hint hint's he never did. He actually used her to get a girl she was friends with.

She started sobbing at the memory of finally accepting that they weren't meant to be.

She shoved her phone in her pocket and ran outside. She sat on the porch of the guys house that she had randomly chosen to stay in and felt the cold rush over her yet she didn't mind. She was born with a cold heart towards men and there stupid girlfriends. Maybe that was why she chose to be an eternal maiden, she didn't want to suffer, but she still did.

Being an eternal maiden made it worse. She missed her actually worthwhile friends and the people who really cared about her. She missed the little conversations she would have with the little Emo boy. So she ran from her troubles only making them worse.

She went back inside and grabbed her dagger. She went into the bathroom and looked at herself. She wasn't as pretty as the other girls, but she liked herself the way she was, but no one else would. She pulled up her shirt just a little. Then she plunged the knife into her gut. The sight of her own blood made her vision fuzzy and she almost fell down. "F*** the world" were her last words before she saw hells gates opening for her.