Unspoken Love
By Shin Sankai
--
A sob broke out within a crowded room. Several pairs of eyes which had been glancing at the floorboards beneath their feet now turned to the young Ryuujin no Miko who couldn't contain her sadness anymore.
"Miko…" A weakened voice mumbled, teal coloured orbs opening to glance at the young teen. Tachibana no Tomomasa lay beneath his futon, the other seven hachiyou spread about his dully lit private quarters.
"Its my fault!" The pink haired teen voiced brokenly, her hands coming up to cover her face, she beginning to sob hysterically.
"Iie…" Tomomasa whispered softly. His once strong hand crept out beneath the futon cover, sliding across the polished floorboards to lay comfortingly upon Akane's knee. "I'm your hachiyou Miko…and with that comes great responsibilities. I am honourbound to protect you…and those that reside in Kyou." All eyes watched as Tomomasa grit his teeth, they knowing pain was surging through his entire body, but all knew the General would never cry out. "I have fulfilled this promise…though a little unlucky I must say in that I am to loose my life in the process." The Chi no Byakko tried to joke, chuckling ever so slightly which then sent him into a horrific coughing fit.
Fujiwara no Takamichi was at the Generasl's side instantly, cloth in hand as he wiped the small amount of blood from the side of Tomomasa's mouth. As the room fell silent once more, lifeless teal orbs stared over at the shaking Ryuujin no Miko.
"Oi, oi, Yorihisa, be a man and comfort your beloved already." The blue haired seiryuu hachiyou couldn't help the flush that graced his cheeks as he awkwardly pat Akane's shoulder. He too had no idea what to say at such a time and couldn't face Tomomasa, a man he admired in some respect. "Akane…" Emerald orbs snapped open, red and puffy as they stared down at Tomomasa, he having called her by her given name, which happened to be very rare in Kyou. "You must always remember to remain as you are, to never dwell on the past…to always look forward…to always protect those that cannot protect themselves. Can you do that…for me?"
"H-Hai!" Akane answered, hands fisting the material of her skirt while she chewed on the bottom of her lip.
"Good girl…" Tomomasa gave one of his famous smiles before his eyes closed, he trying to take in some deep breaths as though wanting more then anything to stave off his untimely passing.
"Minna-san, we should…" Yorihisa needn't go further as several of the hachiyou rose from their seated positions to pay their last respects to the eldest hachiyou.
"I will pray for you." Yasuaki quietly voiced, standing beside a distraught Eisen-sama. Without thought the onmyouji's hand had moved to rest at the back of his hachiyou partner, hoping to give him some form of comfort.
"Do drink several sake bottles in my honour as well."
"If that is your wish." Yasuaki nodded once more before directing Eisen-sama and the sniffling Inori and Shimon out of the room. When the four had disappeared, teals orbs glanced in the direction of where an irritated Tenma stood, he switching his weight from foot to foot while his arms were crossed over his chest.
"This totally sucks!"
"Tenma-kun!" Akane admonished the orange haired teen, whom had begun raking his hands through his hair, messing up his usually straight locks.
"I can't believe this is actually happening. Now I'll never win against you in a sword fight!"
"Tenma…" The Chi no Seiryuu hesitantly turned his saddened eyes to gaze down at Tomomasa lying motionless beneath his futon covers. "Make sure you continue to practice…and watch that temper of yours."
"What are you my dad?"
"And remember this, you'll never beat me in a sword fight no matter what."
"Baka!" Tenma yelled, rushing from the room.
"Was that necessary Tomomasa-dono? Now he'll be irate for months." Yorihisa sighed in exasperation.
"It will give you somehting to look forward to then…and to occupy your time as well."
"Tomomasa-dono…" Akane and Takamichi, plus Tomomasa himself watched as Yorihisa bowed before the General, forehead touching the cool floorboards. "Arigatou gozaimasu…for everything." The room fell silent as Yorihisa remained in that position, one hand clenched tightly at his sword, the weapon sheethed against his hip. "I wish…there was more I could say…or even do for you."
"Sake…"
"Eh?" Yorihisa rose his head slightly to look upon the lightly smiling Tomomasa. "Drink lots and lots of sake for me. Knowing that I can't partake in my favourite drink allmost seems more painful then this slow death.'' The General of the Left Imperial Guard watched his ever faithful subordinate frown at his words. Quickly wihle he had a little strength left he slapped his hand atop of Yorihisa's head. "Yosh, yosh… You've done well my friend."
"Tomomasa-dono!" Yorihisa bowed his head once more, not wishing for the teal haired man to witness the distraught look rushing upon his face. He needed to collect himself before raising his head, knowing full well that the General did not wish for anyone to leave his quarters in fits of despair because of him.
"Yorihisa…will you watch…"
"Of course Tomomasa-dono." Yorihisa answered without even allowing Tomomasa to complete his question. He already knew that the General would ask him to watch over everyone for him. The blue haired hachiyou clasped his hand with the weakened Tomomasa's and once again bowed his hand. "It has been an honour to serve you."
"I…I really don't know what to say at such a time." Gold, teal and purple turned to focus on the sniffling Akane. She had somewhat gotten herself under control, but her emerald orbs had weld up with tears one more. "In order to protect me…to protect Kyou…how can I truly thank you Tomomasa-san?"
"By staying as you are…like I asked of you earlier. Kyou needs you more then ever…and we hachiyou need you as well." Tomomasa shook his head when Akane had parted her lips wishing to say something. Silently the eldest hachiyou wished for her to listen to him. "We need you not only as hachiyou…but as friends…family even." Once again a sob escaped Akane's lips, her hand moving to cover her mouth.
"Gomen ne Tomomasa-san, gomen ne…"
"Akane…" She blinked several times as Tomomasa waved her closer with a finger on his right hand. The teen bent down so her face was impossibly close to the elder hachiyou's. With much strain Tomomasa rose his head from the bolster and pressed cool lips against Akane's forehead. The caress didn't last for long as the General began to see spots appearing in his line of vision. He carefully wiped at the Ryuujin no Miko's tears before placing his hand softly against her heart. Any other situation could be deemed perverted, but the General wanted her to listen to his last words to her. "Pain heals. Though it may take time, it truly does heal. Remember to always look in here, whenever you feel you begin to loose yourself. Always remember that we as your family in Kyou know whom you are. I…will always treasure our time together…even if most of it was my teasing you."
"Me too Tomomasa-san!" Akane clutched at his hand, tears spilling over once more. "Arigatou! Arigatou gozaimasu!" Takamichi and Yorihisa observed as Tomomasa began to shiver, his eyes clenching shut and his head shifted from side to side.
"Yorihisa-san, do you mind…" The younger Byakko hachiyou needn't go further as Yorihisa carefully pulled Akane to her feet and guided her out of Tomomasa's private quarters. Carefully he slide the shoji closed and Tomomasa was left with his young partner. The far too silent Takamichi turned his golden orbs towards Tomomasa. "You needn't keep up your front any longer Tomomasa, it is just you and I here now."
"You shoulnd't be here Takamichi. You should…be with the others."
"There is no other place I'd rather be then beside you Tomomasa." Teal finally opened to gaze up at the seemingly unemotional Takamichi. "And besides, in your current state there is no way you could toss me out of your quarters."
"Now that is the direct Takamichi I know." Golden orbs caught another displeased expression pass over Tomomasa's handsome facial features.
"Would you like me to pour you some medicinal tea?"
"It is pointless. The horrid medicine no longer helps me anymore. My insides are beginning to collapse on me, this I can feel. My fatal wound, which cannot be cured is seeping blood thoroughout my entire body. It will not be long before I…"
"Stop!" Tomomasa focused his teal coloured eyes on Takamichi once more. The younger man was slightly hunched over, hands fisted in his lap. "Please…no more…" The room fell silent and Tomomasa turned to gaze up at his ceiling.
"Ne, Takamichi…" The General croaked out softly. "…do you remember when you arrived in Kyou?"
"Hai…" Takamichi himself turned to gaze his eyes out the window. It had been such a beautiful day, yet it had grown sour at the rapid declining health of Tomomasa. Such a cool time of year was a favourite of the General's, he frequently resting within his garden's, watching the changing of the leaves while sipping at his sake. The cool breeze would waft throughout his large estate, sending red, orange and brown leaves floating about the far too handsome General as he glasped a free hand in his wavy locks of hair, holding the long mass at bay from being soiled by his many cups of warm drinks.
"You were so adorable." Tomomasa sighed lightly, memories of the past flashing through his mind.
"If I recall, I was being bullied by some street thugs."
"Sa, is that so?"
"Demo, a knight in shining armour came to my rescue."
"A knight…?"
"Hai, you had just returned from the battlefield as a soldier back then and was on your way home when you came upon myself and the several thugs harassing me. When you stopped them, picking me up effortlessly and dusting off my clothes, I looked upon you and literally thought you were a knight of some sort." Takamichi listened to a weak chuckle escape Tomomasa's lips.
"That's right. Even though we had just met, I brought you to my estate."
"And I never left your side."
"Unless I was amongst the battlefields you mean."
"That does not count Tomomasa."
"Oh?"
"I never left your side because…." Teal orbs turned to gaze at Takamichi, noticing how he was not looking down at him. "I was always in here." Tomomasa observed as Takamichi placed his hand to his heart. "For as long as possible I hoped beyond all hope to remain in here…with you."
"Aa, you do."
"Demo, our time was cut short…and that I can never forgive."
"Takamichi…"
"So much…there is still so much I wish to discuss with you. So much that I wish to do with you. So much…"
"Then whatever is on your mind…speak it now."
"I can't!" Takamichi almost felt sick as he gazed upon the fatally wounded General. His golden orbs began to shimmer with tears. "I wouldn't even know where to begin!"
"Anything will do Takamichi." The younger Byakko hachiyou parted his lips, heart clenching as he watched Tomomasa close his eyes. "Anything is fine…as long as I can hear your voice."
"Tomomasa…?" Takamichi leaned over the General, patting his cheek slightly. "Iie, Tomomasa, not yet!"
"Shhhh…." The elder hachiyou mumbled, moving his hand to clasp the panicked Takamichi's. "It isn't yet time." He listened to a sigh escape his dark green haired partner before feeling him straighten up in his seated position. "Takamichi…please…just talk to me. Let me listen to your voice…just once more."
"W-What do you want me to say?"
"Anything you wish. Anything that worries you and anything that frustrates you. You have always allowed me to vent my frustrations, so now it is my turn to repay you. So go ahead…"
"We-Well…I don't believe I'm good enough at being Minister for Civil Affairs."
"Pepostrous."
"How will I know if I'm doing my job if someone like the General of the Left Imperial Guard is not here to urge me on?"
"I will always be with you…just like you said…in here." Takamichi watched Tomomasa pat at his chest, indicating to his heart. "Whenever you need assurance, whenever you need a friend, come visit my grave, for you of all people will be welcome at it daily."
"Tomomasa…"
"Ne, do you remember the first time I introduced you to a woman?" Tomomasa had quickly changed the subject of his passing.
"Please don't remind me…" Takamichi mumbled, almost pouting as he heard his dear companion chuckle. It turned into yet another coughing fit, more blood spilling from his lips and yet again Takamichi was there to wipe it away.
"I wish you'd go Takamichi."
"Why?"
"Either leave me alone to die a slow death or grant me a faster one and end my life for me."
"I can do neither."
"Why?" The General question in a slightly pleading tone of voice.
"Because every passing second that we are here together is very precious to me." Teal met shimmering gold once more. "No matter the pain it causes either of us, this moment right here, right now, the both of us together is what I value above all."
"My hatchling has always been far too stubborn."
"Well look who helped in that department!" Takamichi scoffed lightly. "I cannot help but be true to who I am Tomomasa, be it stubborn or possessive."
"Aa, this does remind me of the time Akiko-san and I were on our way out and you came charging towards us not allowing her within ten feet of me." Tomomasa's lips quirked slightly as a lightl flush graced Takamichi's cheeks.
"Gomen…" The younger hachiyou mumbled while wiping the sweat from his palms onto his kimono and robes.
"Iie, it is one of the many characteristics that I truly treasure within you Taka-chan."
"Mou, not that nickname again. I'm far too old for it now Tomomasa."
"Ne, Taka-chan…" Tomomasa's voice had been barely above a whisper.
"Hai?" Takamichi finally answered, but there was no response from his partner. Takamichi gazed down at the motionless Tomomasa, his eyes closed and his teal locks of hair perfect and spread about the white covers of his futon and yukata. "T-Tomomasa…?" Takamichi's voice cracked as he leaned forward to peer closer at his companion.
The room was deftly silent and after several long agonising moments, the eldest hachiyou never responded.
It was then that Takamichi began to shake uncontrollably. His chest heaved and his breath hitched many times within his throat as he allowed ever piece of pent up emotion to come pouring out of his being. Sobs raked his slender form as he hunched over, long green strands of hair falling over his shoulders as he began to cry uncontrollably.
There still had been so much left unsaid.
"Tomomasa…Tomomasa…"
Unbenkownst to the younger man, teal orbs peeled open and shifting slightly, Tomomasa was witnessing a Takamichi he had never seen before. Instantly within his mostly paralyzed body, guilt surged within his slowly beating heart at the uncontrollable crying that was taking over what had been a usually in control Fujiwara no Takamichi. Gritting his teeth, Tomomasa moved his hand from beneath the futon covers to rise it agonisingly slow towards Takamichi's downcast face. His hand made contact with a drenched cheek and a gasp escaped Takamichi's lips, his golden orbs free from round rimmed glasses gazed disbelievingly down at him.
"Tomomasa!"
"Shhhh…" The General cooed softly, only being able to brush a few tears from the Ten no Byakko's cheek. He could feel his hand about to drop, but it did no such thing as Takamichi was now holding it in place, flat against his reddened cheek, sobs still emitting from the slender young man. "Smile for me Takamichi."
"Eh?" Takamichi sniffled, brushing his tears from his face and trying to focus his blurry eyes.
"Smile for me…and only for me. Not the usual friendly one you give to others, but a true unguarded Fujiwara no Takamichi smile. A smile meant just for me, your one true companion. Allow me to leave this place, with your smiling face as my most treasured last memory." Though tears spilled once more down Takamichi's face, he quickly brushed both hands over his cheeks before answering to Tomomasa's last living request and smiled like he truly meant it. A smile worth a thousand unspoken words.
"Tomo-sama…arigatou…" Takamichi voiced with all the emotion he could muster, allowing the dying man one last memory of their lives together, of the endearing name he had given to the General long ago, but rarely used. "Tomo-sama… ja ne…"
"Yokatta…" Tomomasa mumbled softly. Not being able to say anything more, Takamichi leant forward, farwelling the man who'd made him feel so much over the years with an everlasting kiss. When he broke the bittersweet caress, Tomomasa's lips had quirked into a light smile. "Taka-chan… ja ne…" The Chi no Byakko mumbled just as his hand slipped from Takamichi's cheek, it dropping on top of his futon covers.
And with that, Tachibana no Tomomasa drew his last breath.
--
Some time had passed since Fujiwara no Takamichi had lost the one so dear to him. Once again he quietly strolled towards the large gravestone belonging to Tachibana no Tomomasa. The Ten no Byakko had brought several offerings, placing them by his side as he prayed to his deceased companion. He placed at Tomomasa's gravestone his favourite orange blossom, the sake he loved to drink so much and a book they often read when the both of them decided to spend some quality quiet time together. Not only these precious possessions but Takamichi also placed one of his hair clasps by Tomomasa's stone wanting a part of him to always be with the General.
"I am certain that wherever you are Tomomasa, you are causing quite a stir. Be sure to keep a place for me ne? Though I suspect I'll be old and grey by the time we meet again. I wonder if you'll even recognise me?" The Chi no Byakko chuckled, if not a little bitterly at his words. "Please don't worry about me. I promise to continue living. I will admit that the days have been tough without hearing your voice, seeing you smile, but you live wihtin me so knowing this I can continue to live on. However, I must apologise Tomomasa…for I never confessed my heartfelt feelings to you enough while you were beside me. For the rest of my days, I will continue to honour you…and cherish you like no other. So please accept my feelings wholeheartedly. I am certain you knew of them, but I never voiced them enough…and that I will always regret."
Takamichi stood from his crouched position and raised his head to glance up into the bright blue sky. Large fluffy clouds slowly moved through the endless sky and for once in a long, long time, as the cool breeze blew, Takamichi openly smiled to the heavens.
"Tomomasa…genki desu ka?" The Minister for Civil Affiars didn't feel silly at all for voicing such a thing as the wind caressed his face, ruffling his hair and clothing in answer. When the breeze stopped, Takamichi peeled open his eyes, raising a hand to sheild them from the warm sunlight streaming upon himself and Tomomasa's gravestone.
"Ne Tomomasa…did you know I…" The Ten no Byakko stopped for a moment before taking a deep breath to collect himself. "Aishiteru…"
"Takamichi…"
"Eh?" The young court offical spun around, certain he had heard Tomomasa's voice as though it were clear as day.
"Takamichi!"
"Tomomasa?" The bespectacled man voiced aloud, looking every which way to see if he could spot the handsome Chi no Byakko.
"TAKAMICHI!"
And as though it were all a dream, there he was, right in front of him, smiling that wonderful smile, dressed in his flower kimono and robes, teal hair swaying about his beautiful but masculine features, arms open as though beckoning for him to move towards him, to be embraced by him.
"TOMOMASA!"
--
Golden eyes snapped open and Takamichi sat up dead straight within the futon, chest heaving and sweat literally pouring off his being.
"Takamichi, daijoubu desu ka?" Blurry eyes turned towards the voice that had called him. In slight desbelief, the forest green haired hachiyou crawled towards a low table where the General of the Left Imperial Guard was seated.
"Tomo…masa…?" Takamichi reached out a shaky hand and pressed it against the elder hachiyou's cheek, retracting it instantly when he felt warm skin beneath his touch.
"Hai?" The General was perplexed and somewhat worried about his companion. The younger court official had come down with a slight fever and Tomomasa had decided to watch over the Vice Minister for Civil Affairs. "Your fever must have broken since you are moving freely, though you are as white as a ghost Takamichi, did you wake from a nightmare? " Within moments Tomomasa received an armful of Takamichi. "O-Oi, Takamichi?!" The elder man was more then surprised now. His companion was never this forward!
"Yokatta…" Takamichi gripped at the General's clothing, breathing in the General's flowery yet sake scented scent. "Yokatta…" Whatever had occurred had obviously upset the younger man and with this in mind Tomomasa effortlessly raised his arms and wrapped them comfortingly around Takamichi.
"Do you wish to talk about it?" At the negative shaking of Takamichi's head, the General only held him closer. "Some other time then?" Once again Takamichi nodded. "Alright, for now, ease your worries. I'm here."
"Hai…" After several long moments, Tomomasa felt Takamichi slump within his embrace. "Ne, Tomomasa…?"
"Nani?" Tomomasa whispered softly into Takamichi's ear, not truly wishing to disturb this rare moment.
"Aishiteru…" Teal orbs had widened and Tomomasa's heart clenched at such everlasting words spoken to someone like him. He had never believed he would hear such a simple phrase, but such simple words coming from the man before him, spoken with so much emotion truly meant the world to the teal haired hachiyou. "I shall remember to say it more often." Tomomasa sighed in contentment and brushed a hand through forest green hair.
"I already know within my heart what your feelinsg are for me, so it needn't be voiced continusouly."
"Mm…either way, I am just glad I am able to hold you again." Tomomasa didn't know how to comment and instead pulled Takamichi that little bit closer to his broad chest.
"To ease whatever has caused you pain, continue to hold me as long as you wish."
"Itsumo?" Tomomasa couldn't help but chuckle lightly at Takamichi's soft whisper.
"Hai… I-tsu-mo…" The General empathasised each syllable and rocked the younger man lightly, unable to stop the silly grin from spreading across his facial features.
End
Notes: Did I scare anyone thinking I really did kill Tomomasa off? I don't think I could ever truly kill Tomomasa for real. That's too depressing. Though I have to admit as I was writing this, I was getting choked up about it though -This goes out to my Oneesan and any Taka and Tomo fans. Thanks for reading!
