"NOOO WAAAY!!!"
Haruhi didn't even flinch, having gotten used to how patrons of the host club were easily excited to undignified squealing.
"Fujioka-kun and what will you be doing?"
She barely registered the cuddling girl next to her, although, she really should. She sipped quietly from the new lavender teacup, staring darkly at the dark-haired guy in the corner, scribbling away at god knows what.
"Biking…"
Flashback
"Haruhi…"
The brunette turned to see Kyouya walking stiffly towards her, clipboard in one arm, looking like someone just bitch-slapped him to Siberia and back. In other words, shocked; but then again, he's never shocked, so maybe he's just angry. Make it really angry… But he didn't get angry either. Yet she swore she saw the aura of death surrounding him, and she knew he didn't wake up at 3 in the afternoon.
"You will be biking in our upcoming triathlon."
She blinked slowly. Once. Twice.
"What?"
"A three-part sports event."
Haruhi paled immediately. Not only did she not want to participate, she was also horrible in any kind of sports.
"Wh-what?! Wh-why?! What are you talking about?! I can't— I WON'T!"
"I already have it all calculated, of course, our club will suffer significant losses next week due to the triathlon, what with Tamaki swimming, the twins and Hunni and Mori sprinting; we will have a high number of spectators bringing in a considerable profit, at the same time the high rates of deaths due to blood loss will lower our future profits. You will need to make that up, unfortunately. I'm deducting the losses from your current input."
"WHAT?!"
"But by biking I'll give you another ten thousand or so, depending on outcome."
"Wait…!"
"Good day."
End Flashback
'The prick…'
She continued glaring at his forehead; maybe she could burn a hole to his brain. Groaning inwardly, she realized the event was tomorrow…
"What was that Fujioka-kun?"
Did she say something out loud? Quickly plastering a smile on, Haruhi hurriedly assured the mob of worried girls that had decided to mother her. The last thing she needed was another to be added in her lap.
"You're not catching a cold, are you Fujioka-kun?"
"You're not getting a fever are you?"
"Here, let me see."
"No, no, I'll do it."
"Quit it! You're cutting of his air supply!"
"Oh no! Look! He's getting all red!"
"Look what you did!"
"No YOU did it!"
"YOU!"
Before further incident, Hunni ordered Mori to pull Haruhi up and away. Any fan girls that thought that was somehow hot swooned. Kyouya, of course, being all awesome and evil like always, just watched from afar trying to calculate the future loss they would have from the effect of the triathlon. Tamaki was also trying to 'save' Haruhi. We'll rewind a couple seconds before.
"HARUHI!!! DON'T WORRY! YOUR FATHER WILL—" He was cut off when he saw the giant… 'statue' called Mori lift her up into the air, like an angel. He gasped and 'died', sinking into a corner trying to cultivate fungus and mope. "Y-You don't need your own father anymore?"
Everyone ignored him. Everyone except the twins.
"Ne, Kaoru," Hikaru whispered, making it just loud enough for the King to hear them. "It's sad really, how Kyouya's making Haruhi bike in the triathlon."
Tamaki's ear grew larger, but didn't move from his spot.
"Yeah… what if her boob accidentally pops out while she's pedaling? Then everyone will see it, 'cause she'll be wearing that tight spandex outfit." Kaoru raised his voice a little louder, so Tamaki (and not the rabid fan girls) could hear.
Tamaki's ear grew a little larger.
"And her putting all that effort into it, panting hard."
"She'll be all red and stuff!"
"But what if she faints? And in like, the rough, dangerous terrain they have to bike in?"
"NOO!!!!!!!!!" Their King popped up, mauling Kyouya down. Not really. He dodged at the last second 'cause he's Kyouya.
"YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO HARUHI! THINK ABOUT IT! WHAT IF," Tamaki lowered his voice. "They find out? Then what'll we do?"
"Have you been drinking toilet water again?"
"No! I stayed far away from it, I swear! I heard it from Hikaru and Kaoru!"
The two said boys were now sniggering, which quickly turned into hysterical laughter. Tears came flowing out of their eyes.
When time finally came to call it a day, the seven sat around the room.
"I still don't see why I have to bike," Haruhi sulked.
Kyouya said nothing, but she knew that he was getting pissed.
"I SECOND THAT! MY DAUGHTER WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO PARTICIPATE!"
"Shut up," said the Hitachiin twins and Kyouya.
Where were Hunni and Mori in this? Well, Mori was being his normal quiet self, and Hunni was observing.
"Ne, isn't Haruhi-chan horrible in sports?" Hunni finally spoke up. The words shot through her like a bullet.
"Oh yeah… I remember she couldn't do a push up for beans…" The twins started reminiscing, if it actually time to reminisce. Haruhi shot them an angry look.
"Well, since the biking is the first thing to do, she could come in last, causing the girls to be on the edge of their seats. Then Tamaki comes in. Hunni and Mori will zoom through the track, and Hikaru will too; but then Kaoru comes along, and when he's almost at the finish line, he'll collapse, and Hikaru will come running to him. The probability that that would happen and the fan girls will swoon and faint is ninety-five point two percent." Kyouya paused and scribbled something down. "Then Tamaki, being as dense as he is (Tamaki was offended here) would rush to Haruhi at the given opportunity and console her, not Kaoru. We'll probably end up in third or fourth place."
"…"
"Profits would go up only by a little once you factor all of the cons in."
'I'm so going to kick you one day,' Haruhi thought.
"You should be careful, Fujioka-kun. Someone might find out about your secret," Kyouya smirked, not looking up from his notebook. IT WAS LIKE HE COULD READ MINDS, OMFG.
Tamaki paled. Horrid thoughts floated through his mind as he thought of all the things that could happen to his precious 'daughter' if they found out about her secret. He shot up, appalled. "Don't say such things to your daughter! What kind of mother are you?! That's it! I'm filing for divorce! Don't worry Haruhi, you daddy's here to console you—"
A pair of pale white arms blocked and slammed him across the room.
"Excuse you, your majesty for trying to molest my brother," Hikaru glared, hugging his brother closer to him. Tamaki could only pry himself out of the wall.
Haruhi could only sigh as she watched the chaos that started unveiling in front of her. 'Only two days until the triathlon… I wonder if they know that I suck riding a bike?'
Chapter one done! Yup! Lisa and I finally wrote a collab story! XDD Review please!
