Contest: Twilight of Craigslist AD Contest (Part I)

Title: Light Me Up

Rating: T
Word Count (minus A/N and header): 359

Don't forget to read the other entries! www. fanfiction. net/u/ 3211840/ Also, follow us on twitter! twiCraigslist


Light Me Up. Griswalds ain't got nothin' on me (Forks, WA)

Date: 2011-10-10 8:23PST

Email: SuckItCope(at)gmail(dot)com


Ever see the movie Christmas Vacation? Yeah, well, I live next door to it.

Give me your old Christmas decorations. I want your lights, your plastic Mr. and Mrs. Clauses, your Frostys, and your 8 tiny reindeer. Hell, I'll take 50 of those fictional flying beasts if you've got them. I don't care how old or tacky they are, as long as they light up, I want them. Anything you've got that lights up. Trees, stars, icicles, whatever—I'll take it. If anything plays music, I'll pay extra. Have one of those animated blow up things that snows inside? I want it. If you can do that thing that syncs music to the lights and make them flash to the beat, I'll pay you $200. If you help me string my roof, I'll make you hot cocoa. Don't like hot cocoa? How about hot buttered rum? My only condition is that you can't get drunk while on my roof, fall, break your neck and then sue me. Sorry. I'll be broke since all my money is going toward turning my little house into a freaking winter wonderland.

Every single year my neighbors light up their lawn and entire house. And I mean their entire house. It's like a supernova explodes from 5pm til midnight from Thanksgiving through New Year's and every single freaking year songs of wishing me a Merry Christmas and Frosty the freaking Snowman pour into my house and shake the walls. Clallam County Electric has already come out to install another electric box on their property. I'm scared.

Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas. I do. But I have a job and have to be up at the crack of dawn while my neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Overly-festive-here-have-a-candy-cane-no-thank-you-oh-but-you-must, are still sleeping and probably dreaming of those stupid sugar plums they pass out every year, plotting how next Christmas will be even bigger and better. Who the hell eats candied fruit anyway?

I've asked nicely. I've even begged. But they just don't stop, and it's time to give them a taste of their own candy cane flavored medicine.

Got lights? I want them.

Let's do this.


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Public voting begins Oct 25 and runs through Nov 6. Don't forget to check back to the contest profile page on Oct 25 to place your vote!